The March-ers (2019) #2

[frankiefumbles]

Eek! On thread 2 already...welcome over everyone!

@Jenlou1992 I'm hoping to breast breast but scared at the same time ! And would love to keep it as a surprise, as I want a girl and my boyfriend wants a boy but we will see. And I have just ordered this book on eBay! Glad it's good.

Can anyone recommend any good apps I'm on android.... using ovia and pregnancy week by week. Would like a good pelvic one as I think I'm doing them wrong

@Newbie2703 for pelvic floor, I am using Squeezy but I hear great things about Elvie, although it's a bit pricey

Thank you @frenchgal I will take a look

We are finding out the sex. We did last time and I loved choosing his name in advance and referring to “him” and “he”. Most of our baby clothes are unisex so I’m planning to reuse them anyway, will just buy some cute dresses when she gets a bit older if it’s a girl.
I am still breastfeeding DS at just over two years. Planning to stop before the birth. We’ve been talking a lot about saving the milk for the baby. Breastfeeding does have its challenges, but very few woman can’t physically do it. Support is very important, worth looking up if you have LLL nearby and even stumping up for a qualified lactation consultant if you can afford it. Unfortunately midwives, nurses and doctors aren’t always well informed on bf, and there’s nothing worse than getting 3 lots of different wrong advice.

There's no way I could wait to find out. If I could find out today I totally would! Both DH and I are nosey so we will ask at the scan.

Cramping back today-I'm five weeks now. I do worry about it despite knowing it's normal.

@Shampooeeee yes I second stumping up for a lactation consultant if you can afford it. Best seventy quid I've ever spent: after being told by loads of midwives that DS did not have tongue tie, she found it and diagnosed it within five minutes. I just wish I'd called her back a few weeks later when we were still experiencing (not as bad) problems, rather than letting myself get referred to 'breastfeeding specialists' on the NHS who knocked my confidence and tried to make me use positions I hated. Took several months before I found my way back to a tongue tie clinic and got the frenulotomy done again. Regarding women and ability to breastfeed, I know a couple who didn't have enough supply, one who had horrendous mastitis and was hospitalised, and I know lots more who were in pain for a long time and torn over whether or not to continue - myself included. I bled from the nipples on and off until DS was about 7 months. It was really crap. I forced myself to continue because I had a different birth to what I would have liked and already felt like I had 'failed' with that (I have since changed my mind on this and decided it was a good birth!) so I was desperate to 'achieve' with the breastfeeding. Also my mum died fairly young of breast cancer and I was keen to get the protective factor that 8-12 months of breastfeeding gives you. So for me it was vital for my mental health that I continued to breastfeed. I would imagine that for many other women who find themselves with a baby with persistent tongue tie would probably find it best for their mental health that they stop! I say this not to scare people but because I think there is a lot of crap fed to women that breastfeeding is easy. It is for some, but for many it is bloody hard and there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to formula feed to preserve your sanity!

Hi all.

Sorry I have been AWOL. Haven’t been feeling great (not so much being sick but nausea, absolutely exhausted and feeling so dizzy! I don’t think the heat is helping but I feel so faint and wobbly!) Have also been feeling sick with worry about my next scan given that the measurements were behind last time. It’s tomorrow so fingers crossed the baby has grown. Even if I am a week out just want to know the baby is growing as it should be.

All being well, I will also be finding out the sex. I did with DD and it really helped to visualise a little person! If all is ok tomorrow I will book another scan for around 16 weeks. Nice way to break up the wait between the 12 and 20 week scans!

I am another long term breastfeeder. DD is now 20 months and she still feeds before bed or if she is ill. I second what @Shampooeeee said - very few women actually can’t breastfeed. I think a lot of it is determination but the main thing is being informed. Read up on the fourth trimester and cluster feeding so you know what to expect after the birth. This will help ensure any expectations you have of your newborn are realistic. Don’t stress about routines for sleep or feeding in the first few months, go with the flow and FEED ON DEMAND! So many people fall into the “top up trap”; giving formula because they believe or are told that baby is constantly feeding because they aren’t making enough milk. This couldn’t be further from the truth - babies cluster feed to build supply. The more they feed, the more milk you produce! They are clever little creatures and designed to feed all the time for this reason! So for anyone wanting to breastfeed I would say be prepared to be sat down feeding for the majority of time in those first weeks. Get a feeding pillow to save your arms, a flask for hot drinks and always have snacks and the remote near! It may feel like you will never get anything done and will be trapped under your baby forever but I look back now and miss those snuggles and being still. I won’t have that now with a second! It gets better at around 6-12 weeks and after that you won’t look back! No making up bottles in the middle of the night, no endless sterilising and no packing bottles and formula when your out! An instant pacifier and cure for illness and upset!

I would also say find your local breastfeeding support groups, check out La Leche League and also a group on Facebook called Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies. Absolutely shite name but over 20,000 mummies and breastfeeding support workers with a wealth of knowledge!

Sorry if all that is patronising or info overload. I am by no means anti-formula, but am really passionate about breastfeeding and wish this country had better support and education for new mums!

@Jenlou1992 lots of extended bfers on the group, myself included (recently stopped feeding ds at 21 months) so probably more advice than you know what to do with! As you've probably gathered from others it's rarely smooth sailing - my ds was a NICU so I exclusively pumped for months, exhausting but worth it and we did then continue our breastfeeding journey for a long time afterwards. Its a wonderful thing but be prepared for it being tough going for a while!

Oh and stock up on shit loads of Lansinoh cream and maybe a set of nipple shields!!!!

Wow, great so many extended bf. I bf my daughter until 27months. Would never had thought I would!! She also had tongue tie which was dealt with privately at home as nhs were too slow.
Really good advice here about getting help. Must supply problems can be solved by lots of skin to skin, and yes, wish I'd known about

cluster feeding. As @SuperSharpShooter82 said this is natural and normal. I thought I had to feed every 2/3hrs, but my new born wanted to feed constantly, I wish I'd known that was okay!!!
In fact, I think not planning to go out or have too many visitors in the first few weeks is a good idea as then you can do skin to skin, have your boobs out a lot and snatch sleep when you can. My daughter took 4 weeks to understand nighttime was for sleeping, so not ages, but we were nocturnal for those 4weeks. She'd scream ALL night. If I knew these things were normal and to be expected, I think I'd have chilled out a bit more

Oh My God the cluster feeding! I remember having to be home for 4pm every day for those first few weeks as by 4.30pm he was on and wasn’t coming off until gone 11pm. DH did a lot of cooking bless him and for the first week or two was spoon feeding me whilst I used two hands to master the positioning. Nipple shields were my saviour! I still think DS had a tongue tie as he ripped me to shreds, was feeding every 2 hours but still lost weight. Ho hum! I totally agree though about the sterilising and night feeds. So nice to be able to leave the house without a load of extra paraphernalia and the night feeds were the last ones I dropped as it was just so easy to stick him on boob!

I don't know if we will find out this time. I am torn, we were split last time too but didn't find out then everyone forgot to tell me for what felt like ages what we had, as DS was small so had to have some checks.

Breastfeeding here as long as it works. Fed DS unt he self weaned at 2 years 8 months so hope it does. Those early days really do hurt, and it isn't you're doing it wrong just your body is getting used to it.

@angelmiracle oh god. birth! Absolutely crapping myself about that bit! It'll be OK.

I think my issue with the nausea is that I am quite independent and hate being ill/injured in ways that stop me just getting on with stuff. It's really 'disabling' and I need to find more patience for it. This is just how it's going to be for a while.

@Supersharpshooter82 fingers crossed for your scan. I was measuring small on the last one but there was a nice heartbeat and sonographer didn't seem concerned. I know it's so nerve-racking. I think I'd have a scan every week if I could. I hope yours goes well.

I really appreciate what everybody is saying about breastfeeding here. It's something I'd really like to do, but finding the confidence to stick with it and to keep asking for help if it's tough is kind of daunting to me. It's nice to see so many of you were able to find solutions and to do it for so long.

Thanks @ladycarlotta! There was a good heartbeat - although they didn't measure it, my DH and I could see it flickering away on the screen straight away and the lady commented on how strong and fast it was! I (like all of us) am so desperate for this baby and just want everything to be OK.

Don't be daunted by breastfeeding either. I think you often hear the 'horror stories' because people tend to only feel compelled to talk when things go wrong. Get informed now on baby feeding behaviours and yes it can be hard, but keep telling yourself that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world! Women have been doing it for centuries and there is no reason why you won't be able to either!

I won't be finding out sex until birth, loved finding out by her being passed to me last time.

I breast fed DD until 7 months last time, like many of the others I had some problems in the early stages but worked out in the end. I intend to breast feed again this time round but don't want to get as stressed about it this time.

Sorry I've been AWOL for a bit.

Welcome to the newcomers.

Another extended breastfeeder here. DS (21 months) feeds bedtime and first thing and shows no inclination to stop. I don't want to tandem though so I'll gradually wean him off during the pregnancy.

Like others, I faced all kinds of challenges: pumping to start with while he was in SCBU, tongue tie, used nipple shield for 12 weeks, diagnosed as failure to thrive, finally diagnosed with cow's milk protein allergy etc. It got easier after 6 months or so. There is an awful lot of crap advice out there: on my October 16 group there is a qualified LLL lactation consultation and I can honestly say I wouldn't have breastfed past 4 months without her help. There are an awful lot of people - including health visitors and HCPs who think they are experts in breastfeeding but give out bloody awful, ill-informed counter-productive advice.

I've loved breastfeeding, but it's not for everyone and does have disadvantages (such as not being able to share night duty fairly with Daddy!). My view is that there is far too much pressure and guilt around breastfeeding, when what is actually needed is good information and unjudgemental support.

It feels a lot more official now just had my booking in appointment and got my scan date for 16th August

Hello all, please can I join thread? 8 weeks and really struggling with nausea and tiredness...

I'm 37
Due 3rd March
1 DD, 4yo

Can chip in a reasurring way a bit on breastfeeding... It's usually not as hard as it can seem I think. Bit weird at first, but for me it wasn't painful as such. I remeber finding the kellymom website really useful, and the NCT breastfeeding advisors completely useless. I I think I stopped at about 1 year (seems like a long time ago).

Of course this all only applies if everything working right - no tongue tie etc - I get that then it must be pretty difficult. Only other thing I would say is that I would stress far, far less second time around about giving formula (I think I saw EBF as some kind of badge of honour, when in fact no one cares, and it just doesn't matter that mush in the grand scheme of things). It's fine!

Welcome MoosterTheMoose I agree with the badge of honour statement but it actually doesn’t matter as long as they are fed and cared for does it.

My widwife recommended an app it’s called baby buddy it’s a day by day pregnancy app. It has size of baby, what you should be eating, doing, not doing etc

Welcome to all the newbies.

I had my scan this morning, which went well. Measured bang on 7+1 with a good heartbeat (148bpm).

I am also planning to breastfeed this time. To be honest, I had a bit of a love hate relationship with it last time. I was lucky in that neither my son or I had any physical issues but I found it mentally and physically draining. From months 3-6 I was feeding 12-14 times a day (both sides). I desperately wanted and needed a break but my son wouldn’t take a bottle. I also found the peer pressure to EBF overwhelming. This time I am interested in mix feeding. I’d like to do a 90% BF to 10% bottle split. If anyone has any links to literature on successful mix feeding, I’d be very interested to read it. I’d like to be able to still have a bit of solo time with my son after the baby arrives.

I am keen to find out the sex ASAP. My husband wants to wait until the 20 week scan but I’m not sure I’ll have the willpower...

Just downloaded baby buddy wineandchoccy... another excellent way to waste some more time at work!

I'm interested in mixed feeding too peony but my only concern is establishing supply at the beginning (which is when I think I'll most need to do it!) and I can't seem to find out much on this..

@Moosterthemoose I ended up mix feeding DD in the beginning as at that point I was expressing and just couldn't keep up. I did get to fully breastfeeding after and essentially I just offered breast when she would have had formula and my supply adjusted. She had maximum of 2 formula feeds a day though. I found my local breast feeding support group really useful, the lady that runs it is great and been doing it for years.

Can we talk itching? And I mean everywhere.... thighs, belly, under boobs, backs of legs. I know it's hot, but I am so so itchy right now.

Is anyone else suffering? Or have any tips for relieving the itch. I'm trying so hard not to scratch!!