December 2018 Babies - Thread #3

[MagicalCreatures]

Welcome oldies and any newbies.
Hope you all found the group ok.
And continue ............

I agree mat pay is terrible, but you find a way to survive. I spent a LOT less than I did when I was working just from being busy with a baby and no time for shopping, meals out etc. This time I wish I was getting mat pay but I’m a stay at home mum now so won’t be getting anything.

Bump has really popped out in the last couple of weeks. I’m 17 weeks now and have had a few people that didn’t know I was pregnant ask me when I’m due so it must be quite obvious now.

I did nct last time. It’s so expensive but I’d say it was worth it as I have a nice group and we are all still in touch. We don’t meet as often now they are all back at work but it was really helpful to have a group of girls with babies the same age at first. The actual classes were pretty useless though. They are quite focussed on natural births and breastfeeding and I ended up with an induction and was formula feeding so it wasn’t much help to me!

@Cakelaur I'm in Germany. Maternity benefits are good here, they also have to hold your job for you for 3 years so you can take up to 3 years off and go back to the same job but only the 1st year is paid.

@Gemsie1984 I'm so sorry to hear about all the losses. But so pleased you've got your bub on the way now.

@EnglishIrishRose I love how you phrased that... "weird womb". I've got no idea if my womb is tilted or not. They've not said anything so I'm guessing not.

@Primrose16 and @Stephisaur I think I'm gonna have to do something. It's my company so technically I can pay myself whatever I want, but equally I don't want the company to start sinking cos I'm paying two people for my position. It's only a small company with 4 full timers. So there's not massive amounts of money hanging around. But we'll see.

@AGirlinLondon Are they allowed to do that?? I thought all bonuses had to be paid out. (We even have to pay our holiday pay even though the person isn't here) but this was a few years back that I last had to do it. The laws have changed.

@MissMedusa that's a great mat pay. I'm not sure why it's changed in the UK. When I was paying other staff for mat pay a few years back it wasn't this bad.

It's making me really sad going through the figures. And I'm in a luckier position than most.

They just said 'oh has anyone ever told you you have a tilted uterus'... err no? Apparently it doesn't affect anything with the pregnancy, so that's good.

@Cakelaur forgive me if I'm wrong but I have been looking up mat pay to inform my employers and the Gov.uk website says that you can reclaim 90 something percent of mat pay from the government, and 103% if you're a small business who paid less than a certain threshold of National Insurance in the last tax year. Info here: www.gov.uk/recover-statutory-payments

@englishirishrose I found out before pregnancy that mine was tilted. Apparently they move though, so it might not stay tilted during pregnancy!

Thanks Stephisaur that's helpful.

Hey ladies.. so I'm in a bit of a panic.. I was listening to baby's HB about 20 minutes ago and initially it was within normal range however then decelerated quite considerably for about 2 seconds and then went back to a normal rate (154bpm) I'm now a bit worried.. what do you guys think?

@EnglishIrishRose so yes HMRC refunds through our payroll contribution, but I can't afford to live off £145 a week. So I'll probably pay myself the same wage, and Just claim that he £145 back. I've got a meeting with the accountant at 20 weeks!

@Gemsie1984 don't worry. It can fluctuate. Plus home dopplers are massively accurate. Most of the time I'm at 163. But sometimes when I find it it flicks to 140. But because baby is so small still it can move slightly and the Doppler loses the heart beat completely. As long as the heart beat is there, these no reason for it to have issues. Anything between 120-180 is considered normal.

@gemsie don’t worry about that. I’ve heard this on my Doppler too. In my last pregnancy I had to go to the maternal assessment unit a few times for reduced movements and I asked about the decelerations and they said as long as it doesn’t go abnormally low for a long time it’s not an indication of a problem. If it was decelerating for say 10 mins at a rate that was beneath a healthy heart rate that would be a concern but not for a few seconds. Apparently how much they are moving around affects the heartbeat too so the baby could have gone from jumping about to chilling out and that would affect it.

@Gemsie I had a long hard think and this is why I didn’t get a Doppler: I went for a scan at 15 weeks (as OH missed my NHS one) and the sonographer found the heartbeat immediately, clear and strong. I went to my 16 week midwife appointment about seven days later and it took the midwife nearly five minutes of searching with a Doppler, with a slightly concerned face (!) to find it, and still she only JUST managed to get it because the baby kept moving, it kept getting confused with mine etc. If I hadn’t had a scan the week before I would have left that appointment absolutely mortified. So I’ve decided not to get one because I reckon it will make me more stressed.

I was trying last night for 20 mins to find beans heartbeat and I couldn't, I got myself very worked up and stressed I can usually Find it straight away....
very stressful experience!! I found it in the end, I woke up in the middle of the night to check and finally found it... but I was up for work at 5 this morning so I'm a very tired, irritable pregnant lady right now 😖🤭

I know the Doppler is a double edged sword.. one the one hand it's reassuring but then if you can't find the HB or start stressing over decelerations then that adds to the anxiety and panic and doesn't help matters in the slightest. However the incident has prompted me to get a gender scan.. which I'm getting this Wednesday! I'll be 16+3 so hopefully baby will have legs akimbo 🤞🏻

Try not to worry @December! I would be permanently glued to mine if I got one!

Good luck Gemsie! So exciting

It's really reasonable too, London-based ladies. Only £45. They're in Mitcham, on London Road. You can take up to 5 visitors and children, too.

@Gemsie what is the place called? Sounds great!

Ps went to a friend’s house for a party yesterday - he’s been sober for about a year now and makes fantastic non-alcoholic cocktails. He had a soft drink called Crodino which tastes just like Aperol if you are missing your summer beverage

Peek-A-Baby

@AGirlinLondon @Gemsie1984 I went there! They're lovely and by far the cheapest around here!

@Gemsie1984 how exciting about the scan!!! Are you hoping for a particular sex? Or not fussed?

@December2018 oh babe sorry bub is stressing you out! I have the same usually find it straight away but the odd time I search for ages. I give up and just try again later of the following day x

I'd like a boy, but a girl would be great too.. got a feeling it's a girl..

DH has agreed to an early gender scan and has come up with a lovely girl’s name. I can’t wait to find out now!!!! :D

Ohh stephisaur what girls name have you got? 😁

And gemsie I've got a feeling my little bean is a girl too 💕.. I would be made up with a little girly
Would love a boy too! But just got a girly feeling

December2018 Maisie 💕

He said it and I just loved it!

So Maisie for a girl, Thomas for a boy :D