December 2018 Babies - Thread #3

[MagicalCreatures]

Welcome oldies and any newbies.
Hope you all found the group ok.
And continue ............

@AGirlinLondon i was there last week getting frustrated about maternity pay. We do get 12 weeks full pay where I work which I know is better than some, but the company raves about how it is such a great place for women to work and I'm like well bloody pay me decent mat pay then! Where DH works I would have got 24 weeks full pay. On the plus side his paternity leave will be at full pay.
Thing is once were back we'll still be poor as forking out for childcare etc!

Also anyone else spotted March 2019 due dates popping up? Makes me feel like we're old hats at this pregnancy lark, can't beleive I'm 17 weeks tomorrow!

@EnglishIrishRose massive congrats babe. What a lovely pic.
@Gemsie1984 I love getting to know all you ladies. And sorry for just assuming there was a DH. Haha.

Is anyone signing up to private nct classes?? We've found a great one for babies due Dec/Jan and but it's £250!! Haha. BUT my little sister is due in Jan so we can go to the same one!! I feel a bit silly booking it just for the friends though!! 🙈

@ZoeMarie09 welcome babe glad you feel confident to join. I was tentative at first but love the support now I've made the jump. (Although it did it around 8 weeks) haha

@raysan1 I'm defo starting to bump out a bit. But I do think it could be assumed I've just eaten a lot of pies that day. But each day it gets a bit bigger. I'm 14+4 today.

@AGirlinLondon It's crazy how shit Mat leave is. I'm not even sure how I'm going to do it as I'm the owner of the company. It used to be that HMRC repayed the mat pay that we spent but rules have changed and now it comes straight out of my pocket. It's crippling as a small business. So I'm not sure I'm even going to take mat pay. I need to speak to the accountant once I get the mat b1 form. I'm going to have to pay for someone to take my place as well. So somehow in the next 6 months I have to grow the business to support my time off!! Haha. So instead I just don't think about it. I'll just spend my OHs money! 😂🤣

@ND348 wow!!! My OH works for police and he gets one week paid! So we're glad it's due around Xmas because we're hoping that he'll have those extra days at home. 🤞🏻baby knows the schedule!! Haha

@Cakelaur thank you! We were so pleased with the pictures and cos they weren't co-operating with the scan we got a good long look at them.
Ugh, mentioning mat pay just reminds me of my rubbish situation - I might lose my job just before mat leave and it's really getting me down. Can't say too much on an open forum though.

And like you said, being due around Christmas / New Year does have its perks as DW will be off!

@cakelaur - I did NCT first time round. It is expensive but it was nice to have a group of people at the same stage as you. It's dissipated a bit now but we still stay in touch.

@Cakelaur don't worry about it, it is the obvious assumption to make. :) it's no big deal. My OH's name is Kerry and we've been together 10 years in December, on the 13th. I'm due on the 9th so you never know.. baby would be the ultimate anniversary gift! 😃

Aaw Gemsie1984 that's cute... a great gift indeed!

Hmm got a feeling bubba will be a November baby as I'm high risk due to health issues. I hope I'm wrong tho :)

Thank you everyone - you have made me feel that I am not alone. Not that it makes it ok for us to be treated like this! @ND348 my company is the same, yet there are hardly any women in senior leadership positions. And they wonder why.

Cake I've booked for NCT classes. I'm doing three and then there's a reunion that will be planned and it cost me £165. i wasn't sure if it would be worth it, but I asked my colleague who has recently had a baby what she did and she said that she was recommended by one of her friends to do the NCT classes, and I don't know anyone in my local area with a baby so thought it would be useful to get to know people who will be on maternity leave at the same time etc. I've also just joined Mush as I thought that would be another good way of meeting other mums.

I'm not allowed to return to work for 2 weeks after giving birth, but only receive 90% pay for those two weeks (well we get 90% for the first 9 weeks) but my DH (who works for the same company) is entitled to two weeks paternity leave on full pay! So if I was only going to take the bare minimum off then he'd actually get more than me! I know that I get more allowance in the long run, but if I didn't plan on taking off anything then I'd be losing out.

@raysan1 im definitely showing. I have belly fat anyway but normally it's tucked into my pelvis a bit now everything is out in display and I definitely look pregnant. I actually look more pregnant now than with my DC1 at 28 weeks. I don't know where he was hiding. I just looked fat.

@Gemsie1984 I won't make it to December. DC1 came at 28 weeks and same issues are occurring (incompetent cervix) but hoping with measures in place I'll make it a little further. If I make it to November I'll be happy.

On the upside, I live in a country that is very generous with maternity pay. I've been off since 6 weeks (due to aforementioned condition) and will be paid 67% of my salary until the baby turns 1. with Full salary for 6 weeks before the birth and 8 weeks after. The downside is that pregnant women are very expensive here and employers do discriminate against women of childbearing age. Not openly as it's illegal but it happens.

I would 100% recommend doing nct classes! I met a amazing group of ladies who I literally spent 5 days a week with for the whole year last time. I'm actually planning to ask two of them to be Godmothers this time round!

I have a significant bump at 16+4. People even keep touching it! Feeling bubs really regularly now too including kicks from the outside as well as in!

@Gemsie1984 oooh imagine that. What an anniversary gift! You wouldn't have to buy Kerry anything!! 😂 Just hand her baby!! Haha!!

Can I ask a really personal question, please tell me to butt out if you don't want to answer... but those in same sex relationships. How do you decide who carries the baby?? And if you have more than one did you switch or will you? Sorry I'm way too nosey.

@DoAsDreamersDo that's crazy!! Isn't stat mat pay 100% for 6 weeks?! So yours is less!

@MissMedusa where are you based babe. That sounds like a really decent mat pay.

@balalalala I can't wait to feel bub move and kick!!

Thanks for all the advice on nct, think I'll be booking that then. I'm excited!! Eek

Is it? I'm definitely getting screwed then!!

That's what I thought. I could be wrong though. I'm yet to get final figures from my accountant. Let me see if I can find government guidelines

OMG YOURE RIGHT!!! What?! And then £145 a week?! That's not even CLOSE to my wage! That won't cover my mortgage!!!

@Cakelaur.. it's okay I'm open. We did try a few years ago with OH as carrier but unfortunately we had multiple chemical pregnancies. It got a bit much so we took a break. Decided to try again with me as carrier. There's an age difference, too. I'm 34 and OH is 41. Worked first month, thankfully.

I get 6 weeks at 90% then 7-18 weeks at half pay. The rest just stat pay. I think with my girl I opted for a 3rd pay rather than half to have it a little longer.

Congrats @Gemsie, it sounds like you have both been through a lot as a couple - I’m not sure I would make it through all that. Your baby is lucky to have you both.

@cakelaur SMP is a nightmare. I'm very lucky at work, I get full pay for 8 weeks and then half pay for 32 weeks.

Even so, it'll be tight. Oh, and we don't qualify for any maternity benefits because they're calculated on your full wage ignoring the fact that I'm not earning that while pregnant

Ha @stephisaur this is what set me off yday! My bonus and other benefits are calculated on ‘eligible earnings’ and because mat pay is considered a kindness by the company, I am exempt from those for the duration of my mat. I also have company shares, but they are frozen during my maternity to stop you from supplementing your mat pay with them. Wtf! Despite the fact that I’ll have hired a mat cover, planned the whole year for them etc etc I am considered absent so not worthy of bonus. I might just down tools now!

@agirlinlondon don't blame you, I'd just go home now!

What a load of bollocks.

@Cakelaur that's not a bad question, ask away! I'm carrying because DW has a weird womb, but mostly because I want to and she doesn't. Turns out at the scan that my uterus is also slightly odd (retroverted). Anyone else got a tilted uterus?