Due in Sept '07 - part 5 - '.... Half Way to Heaven......?'

[Hopeitwontbebig]

Hope you all don't mind about the new thread. We've been AGONISING over the name

Oh HIWBB I do understand completely. And after the panic dies down you just feel massively down - which I'm kind of guessing is where you are at now. I've had moments where my dh has said "don't worry it'll be ok" and all I can think is "you don't know that" and I want to punch him. Especially as he wasn't there, through no fault of his own, when it hit the fan last week.

I say put your feet up, have a cry and eat lots of chocolate and/or ice cream/anything generally unsuitable. In a few days time you will probably feel a lot better. Try to remember (and I know its impossible at times) that the outcomes with the sort of thing are generally a perfectly healthy baby!

Bloody hormones!!! xx

Hi Ladies ,

Sorry I`ve not said Hi for a few days ,dont seem to have been able to find the time with one thing and another.
Hope everyone is feeling well,just been catching up with everyone elses news on the thread,cant turn your back for five minutes on here without having to spend half an hour reading through more posts...if that makes sense???....but its great to read what everyone is up to.

Welcome on board Sophie.

Congrats to all who have had their 20 wk scans eventually, must be nearly at the end of them now,will have to check.

Well scared the hell out of DP earlier by telling him that I had no more than 18 wks left if they let me go to 42 wks.Sent him into a right panic..ha!

Brought some milk collection shells to put over drippy nipsHad some last time round and they were great when feeding and expressing as mine used to gush out and I used to collect loads of milk in them and freeze it in milk bags for when I went out.Worth getting if anyone is going to BF.

Cant believe you lot getting your names nearly sorted already,the most we`ve got to is me mentioning to DP that we ought to start thinking about some and that was it.

Decided that DS will need to go into a bed in the next few wks now so thats another room to decorate.He went to bed this afternoon for his nap,I went out into the garden to do some gardening and the little devil is standing up at the window watching me...did it twice too.So now he can get out the cot there will be no stopping him,so for safeties sake its time to go into a bed....god help us in the small hours of the mornings though.

Holly ,dont worry about the coping bit,like everyone else says you just do.Its not as bad as some people make out or how you think it will be.Yes you do end up in your night wear until lunch time( and beyond!)and the housework dont always get done and the other half will have to get dinner cos LO is hanging off a boob ( and believe me you feed them first)and youre knackered beyond belief somedays,but you get used to it and work through it and round it but my god make the most of it because they grow so fast itll soon be time for number 2.

Take care all
xxxxxxxxxxx

I actually LOVE you guys. Thank you for all your lovely posts. Isn't this a great thread? What would we do without the support? (blubs into cup of tea into a totally hormonal way)

Ditto Holly comments. Thank you too for the support you guys gave me last week about my asthma. I feel a bit better about it now. Got my anomoly scan on friday, after that I will relax some more.

Btw, holly, don't worry about after the birth, you'll know exactly what and how to do everything because 'mother's intuition' will suddenly invade your body. I've no idea where the energy comes from, but you'll find the energy and strength to do exactly what your baby wants you to do for him/her. The trick is getting your dh and everyone else doing everything you want doing for you, cups of tea, meals made, afternoon naps, shopping, nappy changes etc. That's what will make the difference!

Hi Loopy, dd2 tried it for about 4 weeks but when she realised she wouldnt be in reception with her big sister it lost all appeal! Dp only started a new job last week so we are unsure where he stands with paternity leave etc but depending on his runs he is usually in and out most of the day and home by 5 so it wont be too bad! My parents and pil only live 5 mins away so they will be about to help and my best mate lives opposite so she has offered to take dd1 to school if i cant manage. Just got to get dp to pull his weight and help walk the dogs more as im sure im getting spd again!

Piggin hormones

Thanks Pennypops, love you! x

Hi Holly, can I add to the huge fountain of tips you'll be given?

I definately agree with trusting your instincts. They will kick in big time and if you're ever unsure of anything however trivial it may seem make sure you ask, even if it's just for reassurance that you're doing the right thing.

Accept every offer of help you're given. I felt really cheeky at first but I soon learnt that you simply can't do everything while you're adjusting to motherhood, even if you're not bfing. You will receive many visitors in the early days but don't offer to make the tea! Your friends and relatives wont begrudge putting the kettle on themselves/washing up/picking you some milk and bread on their way to visit. And don't be afraid to refuse a visit if you're too tired/emotional that day. I let everyone know before ds was born that they would need to phone 1st (esp if mw was due to visit) and i turned my phone off while we were resting, and put a note on the front door along the lines of 'new mother and baby sleeping, please do not disturb'. I also took the battery out of the doorbell as you can guarantee some idiot will ring it when you've just got lo off to sleep!

How house-trained is dp? if he's not very domesticated, now is the time to show him how to use the washing machine, etc, even if it's just one programme/cycle.

Get in some ready-sterilised bottles and ready-to-drink newborn formula milk. These are inexpensive for short-term use and extremely useful if something crops up or if you are unable to bf. I wasn't expecting to bottle feed but ds was born with a severe tongue-tie and I found expressing far too painful, so I came home from hospital with nothing to feed him. Had to do an emergency shop 4 days after a cs trying to battle though boots and work out what all the different bottles/formulas were for with a screaming hungry newborn. great fun. If nothing else, they will come in handy when you need a sleep or break and dp/someone else can feed lo.

I'm sorry if I've confused you and you will be surprised by how you do cope and adapt. Within a short time it'll be like lo has always been there xx

MMooMar, those little milk collection shells have got to be one of the most useful things I ever bought. I leaked so much from the opposite side they really were a life saver. And like you, I'd collect the milk and freeze it, saved lots of expressing. Mental note to self: remember to keep the little noozle at the top, god, the times i'd put it in upside down.

I remember one time, several years ago I'd finished an evening feed and I poured the milk from the shell (or spaceship as ds calls them) into a bottle. It filled it up and I was just putting the lid on before putting it the freezer when I knocked it all over the floor. Being a bit hormonal, I just burst into tears (it seemed a lot of effort had been wasted). At that point dh walked in and said those immortal words without thinking or hesitating: "cheer up, there's no point crying over spilt milk". Kind of cheered me up, but I think he might have still got walloped.

Hi Everyone, sorry haven't posted for a while just seem to have been really busy ! Have read through posts and feel so sorry for the stress some of you are going through.
Hiwbb and Penny - take care of yourselves - its good you've got each other !
Chattyhan - so sorry to hear what is going on with your DP- thinking of you lots and I'm sure you will be strong enough to cope and get through this with your 2 DS.
Holly- just to repeat what others have said your instinct will kick in and an amazing overwhelming love for your baby which will just carry you through the tiredness etc so don't worry ! I am expecting no 3 and have just started to worry wbout the logistics of getting the 2 older ones to school /ballet etc etc with a tiny baby but just plan to accept ALL offers of help !!

love to everyone else x

Lots of love to everyone who is having a tough time, I hope thing get better for you all soon and I'm thinking of you all.

Also love to everyone else, hope you're all doing ok. Is anyone starting to bloom yet? Sadly the awful spots I had until 3 months have in the last week returned with avengence, nasty! I'm also slightly in shock that I'm 24 weeks, only 16 to go!

FilBrit x

Morning ladies. I'm feeling a bit better today. Spotting has stopped and the horrible dark veil of misery seems to have lifted, thank God!! Thank you for the good wishes. x

Hope everyone is well.

x x

Hey everyone, got back to Blighty yesterday. Holiday was lovely and also the wedding (DP's brother) was brilliant and very romantic. Did a lot of sunbathing and eating (all inclusive so 4 meals a day). Have a feeling I have grown a lot and baby has moved LOADS on holiday so that is good. She now responds to a tap on the tummy.

However we came back to some bad news...DP has been made redundant. He has known for some time that the firm has been in trouble but recently they have been seemingly doing well with DP getting lots of overtime.

We are in shock but DP reckons he can get some work pretty quickly and he will be paid 6 months pay until he does find something else. He thinks he may get some work with his younger brother who is in construction.

I haven't managed to catch up with everything as yet but I do know that there has been some bad news for one of us and was extremely sorry to hear this.

Speak more later (I had 15 hours sleep last night and feel a bit strange now!)

Ok, note to self re those collection shells! Isn't pregnancy just so glam? You never hear Angelina Jolie or Eva Herzigova talking about leaky boobs or stress incontinence do you??? They just bang on about how amazing and "fulfilled" pregnancy makes them feel. Sometimes I think its a conspiracy to make normal women feel like crap.

Filbrit - sorry to hear that the zits have come to get you! I didn't suffer with these at all in the first trimester (just semi permanent vomiting) but they kicked in as soon as the sickness stopped at around 14 or 15 weeks! Mine have started to calm down now thank God but I found that Neutrogena stuff was quite good for keeping them at least semi under control. Worth a try!

Edie - I'm so sorry to hear about your poor DP. Am keeping my fingers crossed that he manages to find something else sharpish. Please try not to worry too much which I realise is easier said than done.

HIWBB - so glad you are feeling better honey and that things have started to settle. I do however think you should continue the choc/ice cream medication just to be on the safe side xx

Hi everyone. So lovely to catch up on all the news even if I can't post that often.

I had my scan yesterday at 21 weeks and it is a girl and everything is fine. We are so pleased....we genuinely didn't mind which we had but we both seem very happy it is a girl so that is nice.

Holly29 - I am so glad you raised your question. I have days where I am terrified! We have a small house/cottage, I am very tidy, run my own department and am very organised at work and this so goes against everything anyone has said babies bring into your life. All the posts from experienced mums have been great (thank you so much) and in fact I have cut and paste your comments into a document for DH (yet more evidence of my very sad desire to organise you could say....must get out of this!!)

I do have one specific question of more experienced mums. Can a baby mix bottle and breast feeding in the very early weeks? For some reason it is praying on my mind that if I get to the point where I simply can't get up to feed could DH give a bottle in a crisis?

They suggest you don't mix in the first few weeks due to nipple confusion, I guess it is down to the individual, I suppose if it is only the occassional one it would be ok. It depends though, how much do you want to beastfeed, and how upset would you be if baby preferred bottle to you? And another thing you may not have much choice, a few friends I know desperatly wanted to bf but baby just wouldn't. I suggest you wait and see how it goes

Oh and no matter how tired you are you will still get up to baby if it is crying and you are the sole provider ;)

If it is only occassional though I don't see the problem as long as you are able to express enough for the feed in amongst all the other feeds, that is what I found most difficult in the first few weeks.

Hi Tina, as far as I know babies can have mixed feeding methods. I have heard people saying there's a risk that once the baby has tried a bottle he/she won't want to go back to the breast. IMO I think that's crap and dare I say scaremongering. If a mum breastfeeds and needs/wants a rest at night then I think its not unreasonable to get dh/p to help out. On balance it would probably make you more rested and more likely to prolong bfing. I suppose there is a question whether the baby would like it though, in that he/she might be expecting a booby cuddle from lovely milky mummy and they end up with hairy daddy with a bottle! One way round that of course is using expressed milk.

This is what me and my dh did when our los were little: When ds woke up, dh's part was to get him up, check he didn't need changing, bring him to me. I'd feed lying on my side, baby between us. I'd usually fall asleep while feeding. When baby finished, dh would pick him up, burb him, check he still doesn't need changing, settle him. Guarantee I'd be the first to be back in the land of nod. We reckoned that was a fair split of the nighttime responsibilities.

Don't be too hard on yourself on the expectations of bfing. Yes its a new skill we have to learn and yes there is a lot of pressure to succeed. But don't think that a nighttime bottle constitutes a crisis. Its not. You are still providing nutrition for your baby in a loving environment. Plus he/she will still benefit from your milk at other times. And daddy gets a bit of bonding time. Winners all round. I think I'd try the bfing initially and see how it goes, and keep the bottle as a backup for when you need/want it.

I am a supporter of bfing. Without a doubt. And believe with the right support most mums can feed succesfully. But I am by far a bigger supporter of happy babies and mummys. Hope my opinions aren't too controversial.

Bit of a cross post there Mrs Fish, I started my post ages ago and didn't see yours. My bit about scaremongering wasn't anything to do with what you said. Opps. It was more about the staff in the hospital in the early days that I overheard saying to younger mums "you have to keep trying, because once the baby has tried the bottle, he won't want to come back to you" etc.

I understand

Phew! Paniced for a minute.

Hi to all just taken me ages to catch up on yesterday and today. I am intending to mix feeding if I can. My boss really narked me today, not unusual when she asked how I was and I said tired and slightly uncomfortable she said, 'aren't you supposed to be blooming now?!' Can't you just tell she's never been pregnant or likely to get pregnant! Sorry that was bitchy I know.
Chatty - really feel for you just hope it all works out for the best.
Can't believe how many more girls we are getting. My surprise still isn't kicking Hoping it will soon. Bye for now - cc

TinaLC, the other thing to bear in mind is that nighttime is often when your milk supply is at its strongest. That may not be a medical fact, just a survey of the people I knew and from things I've heard! I used to get up several times a night to express milk for by DD who wouldn't bf properly as that was the only time I had a decent supply (I'm so not doing that again!) Overall I'd say that it depends on how much you want to bf - if you're desperate to bf only then I'd probably try not to bottle feed at night (once you realise how easy bottles are in comparison, it's hard to go back to bf-ing!) and you can bf half-asleep anyway. But if you're not bothered about the odd bottle of formula here and there, then go for it and don't worry about it!

CC - you should have punched your colleague then blamed it on hormones {grin}

My sister has said to me I should try a bottle of expressed milk every now and then just to get the baby used to a teat as later on she used formula to supplement her milk. Mind you she did have a VERY greedy baby and her milk just seemed to tail off at 4 months. Also her GP recommended a bottle now and then as her daughter was born last summer during the heatwave and the odd bottle now and then was important to stop her getting dehydrated. So I'm going to try and mix them up a bit too, I think it might come in handy if I'm out and about and I've got a bottle of expressed milk and I don't have to wap the norks out if I don't fancy it!