Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

August 2018 #4

981 replies

bobcat85 · 01/02/2018 09:49

Thought I'd start up a new thread as the old one has run out of space.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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42
iamloading · 07/03/2018 12:37

@emmasmum2013 well if it is a bit I’d be happy to buy the girls clothes off you!!!

iamloading · 07/03/2018 18:53

Boy not bit 😂

Emmasmum2013 · 08/03/2018 16:12

You'll have first refusal iamloading :)

Gem173 · 08/03/2018 17:21

Hey guys haven’t been on in a while. So I’ve been thinking about maternity leave. It’s 8 weeks full pay, 18 weeks half pay+smp, then a further 13 weeks smp, 13 weeks unpaid. Due to finances I’m only thinking of taking 6&1/2 months off plus my holiday 3weeks) so totalling around 7 months then return to work in my new job full time.

Any 2nd mums know if this sounds like an okay plan? My mum and her friends and my work colleagues say I should have the first year off as it beneficial I spend time with my baby, but financially it’s just not possible :(

Because il be going into my new job I don’t think I can go part time. It’s a full time position and my current job doesn’t do part time either.

If I go back full time I have a plan of at least 3 family members looking after the baby during the week so child care won’t be an issue.

Just want your advice really :/

iamloading · 08/03/2018 18:44

I can't advise on feasibility as this will be my first (living) baby but I'm going to have to go back to work after 4.5 months. Part time at first but up to full time by 7 months. Not ideal but sometimes life isn't ideal I suppose!

Kiki275 · 08/03/2018 19:12

Hi all, for those looking at bedside cribs, I've just bought one through the Bounty app. It's the Chicco Next-to-me plus 3 fitted sheets (in Dove Grey) for £140 which is the cheapest I've seen it anywhere. The ad is a bit misleading as the same deal through the same website without the code is only £180 but the before price is bumped up to make the offer look better.xx

SpriteGirl · 08/03/2018 20:07

@Gem173 this is my first too. I am yet to work out the finer details (payroll will be able to tell me the exact amount of money I’ll receive once I give them my matb1 form) but my maternity leave will be 7-9 months. This includes using my holiday too. I’m thinking of going back two days a week and the other three annual leave to eek out my annual leave. This would give me 7 weeks on full pay using 21 days leave, for example. (Total leave 29 days). Would I like a whole year? Absolutely. Will I ever get this time with my baby back again? No. Is anybody else going to cover my share of the bills once there’s no money coming in? No. So you do what you have to do.

SpriteGirl · 08/03/2018 20:08

Also I’ll be going back full time too.

somersetsinger · 08/03/2018 20:11

Gem, your plan sounds practical and feasible. If you've worked out that 7 months is what you can afford, then enjoy that time with your baby. Other people (including family) are not in your exact position, so their experience and advice was correct for them, but maybe not you.

In some sort of ideal world, the absolute gold standard would be for a baby to get to spend something like the first 2 years with their mother. In this real and imperfect world, not many people (including me) can do that, so we work something out. Babies are adaptable and the older they get, the easier it is for them to cope away from their mother. If you have family to care for him/her, then statistically in terms of baby satisfaction you have the second best option. So don't feel any guilt or worry over it.

From experience, it is easier to leave your baby with someone else if they are used to feeding from a bottle. This is not something to immediately worry about as you can't know how well breastfeeding will go or how long it will last until you and the baby try it. So that's a thing to work out post-birth.

What you could do now is talk to your family to see if they are willing to provide childcare, whether they want paying, how holidays will work and if they will look after the baby in your style or theirs. I've seen some posts on Mumsnet from parents who have problems with childcare from family members, so reading through those could give you an idea of potential stumbling blocks. Chatting about it now could avoid awkward situations later.

On a lighter note, my daughter was notably happier as a stranger-wary baby when getting cuddles from my sister (who looks like me) or FIL (who looks like my husband). She used to study them intently, in a kind of 'you look awfully familiar' way.

peterpanwendy · 08/03/2018 20:12

@Gem173 I'm a teacher so I want to work around the school year and plan to go back after 9 months. A year off just isn't financially possible for most! Don't worry about what others say you need to do what's right for you and your family. Your baby will be safe with family members and it's important that you further your career also, you'll be a great role model to your child. I wish I could be a SAHM for a lot longer but like you I just can't! X

BertieBotts · 08/03/2018 20:32

I've applied for a new job. If I get it, I'd be planning to go back full time after about 4 months. I won't lie, I am a bit anxious about that prospect, but DH will be much better at the SAHD thing than I would be, and this is a very rare opportunity that I'd be crazy to pass off - I'd love to work in this company and I really want to go for it. I also actually found about 3-15 months to be quite boring last time?? The baby doesn't really do much and they can't give you a lot of feedback and it seems like a lot of the exciting part is seeing what new things they have done that day, which I could do in the evenings and at weekends. I also found that I'm a much better mum when I have separation between family and work - I can enjoy the family time much more.

If I continue in my current job we're also potentially looking at me going back in Dec but I expect it would be very low key and part time to start with due to the nature of my work (I'm part time now) and pick back up in the January. But I'm not hugely keen on my employers and I don't want to be there forever so I am also contemplating taking more time off. The minimum here for maternity leave is only a bit less than my normal pay, so it might make more financial sense for me to take the time off if I don't get a better paying job before then.

Honestly if I could choose my ideal thing I'd be at home for 3 months because IME you need to cocoon a bit with a newborn, then start work slowly during the 4th month, combination of pumping/possible visits/breaks to BF maybe? Or mixed feed probably. Be full time until they are about 2, take a year off (or maybe just drop down to 4 days pw?) because they are so funny and cute at that age and it's nice to do things with them during the week when it's quiet, but then plonk straight in nursery, at least half days, at 3 because IME they turn into little whirlwinds and there's only so many hours in the day you can cope with it!

I have not of course worked out how this genius plan would manage to fit in multiple children Grin

I found a good price on a bedside cot as it's the one SIL was going to get us but I haven't decided whether to get that or the ikea one yet. The ikea ones here are bigger than in the UK so I'm actually now in two minds about whether it would be too big! Hmm But we could still get that one for later anyway and if we end up feeling cramped for lack of space when co-sleeping just switch to that. But I might be ready to move them out by/before a year this time.

BertieBotts · 08/03/2018 20:43

My news today - bought some new bras because I've now only got one that fits. Shocked to discover I am a C cup. C!!!! I've only dreamed of being a C Grin (fried egg chest here) However totally unimpressed with Primark's inconsistent sizing but at least they are cheap - I don't usually bother with bras but I need something to hide the pointy nipples of doom.

Then had 16 week appointment. Wasn't going to mention that we're changing doctors because Germans can be a bit funny about it, but because I've had such trouble finding a midwife, I need to feel 100% comfortable with whoever is going to be doing all my checks later on. So I changed to the doctor I liked, I am using the excuse (which is also true) that the other one is easier for me to get to without a car. We were thinking they would do a scan today because they have done a scan at every single appointment before, so we took DS along (also because we weren't sure what time we'd get home afterwards.) We were hoping that he'd get to see the baby wiggling around and maybe we'd be able to ask to check if the gender is clear.

But no - instead she explained that because we should do abdominal scans now, those aren't covered by insurance except for 3 times, 10 weeks, 20 weeks, 30 weeks. (Actually she did an internal at 10 weeks too, but whatever). She offered us the choice to pay a one off €95 to get a scan at every appointment (every 4 weeks until 30 weeks, then fortnightly) but because we're moving practice, we weren't really keen on paying that. So she then agreed to do an internal scan instead as this is always free but as usual she only looked for about two seconds and baby was head down so no chance to see anything. I was okay with that as I wasn't really expecting to see the sex this time anyway, and she said my cervix is 5cm and that's apparently good?? Confused but DH had apparently built it up loads in his head and was then gutted that we didn't get to see! Doh! It's only 5 weeks until our really detailed good 20 week scan, so I suppose we'll get to see then. Since we've come home and it's a few hours later he seems to have cheered up at least.

Anyway - onwards. To new doctor and we'll see how that goes :) My next move on the midwife front is to register for a birth preparation course, because apparently that is a good way to get assigned a midwife. So I hope I'm not too late on that too.

Gizzymum · 08/03/2018 21:48

@Gem173 I couldn't have done it and can't imagine leaving my DS now (9mths old). But on a more practical level, will you be planning on BF? If you are, LO will still be mainly BF at that point (I've only just dropped a milk feed at 9mths, but I'm bottle feeding). Then you may want to express (which is an absolute ball ache) or would have to introduce formula. You'd also have to introduce a bottle which can be difficult with some babies. There's also a chance your LO won't be sleeping through at that point (sleep training isn't recommended until after 6mths) and I know about half of my NCT group have only just got their babies sleeping well at night (at the 9mth mark).
I'm not trying to scare you off returning to work if you want to, just trying to be realistic and give you a heads up on some of the challenges.
However, my DS has slept through since about 5mths and has been bottle fed exclusively from 3.5mths (I didn't produce enough milk so he was having a bottle too pretty much from month 1) so you may be one of the lucky ones.

Gem173 · 09/03/2018 06:11

Thanks ladies for your advice. Will definitely consider everything you have said and will talk to oh about bf/bottle feeding and how it will work between us. Xx

BertieBotts · 09/03/2018 06:20

Actually at 9 months it's normal to be able to bf during evenings and weekends and let them eat solids and water during the day, I've seen it done on the bf board a lot. You'd possibly want to express or give formula for one or two feeds during the day but you wouldn't strictly need to. I did wean more slowly as well and my DS was still on more milk than food at 9m, but I probably could have hurried things along if the need was there. We do what circumstances dictate :)

Pereie · 09/03/2018 06:26

I have a friend who started a new Full time job when her baby was 3 months old. So baby went into full time nursery, and honestly she it the brightest, most well adjusted baby I have ever met. She seems so advanced and switched on. She is super confident and eager to get on. I think it is from being around older kids all day as she was the youngest in the nursery.

My friend now has her dream job and the wage to match.

So I don't think going back to full time employment is a bad thing if it's what you want to do.

I run my own business so can't really take any time off. I am going to be juggling baby and work, already dreading it.

Emmasmum2013 · 09/03/2018 09:21

@Gem173 - I had 6 months off with my first and then went back full time. It was ok to be honest. Then my DD went into nursery 1 day a week and MIL looked after her on the other days. I wish I could have afforded more, but I was also happy to get back to work. It was easier that full time childcare! haha. I don't think DD missed me too much. They're definitely not too young at that age to be left with other people. And I lived very close to work so sometimes I'd pop home on my dinner to see them.

I'm having 12 months off this time and hopefully then going back part time so I can take DD to school and pick her up, and hopefully have 1 day a week off to get housework sorted (weekends tend to go out of the window with kids!). New baby will probably go to nursery one or 2 days a week and then with MIL or my DM who will be retired by then and has volunteered.

@BertieBotts Good luck with your new job application! And with the hunt for a good midwife.

I've got my 16week appointment this morning. Really looking forwards to hearing the heartbeat.
I think my DH felt the baby move last night too, he was made up! :)

BertieBotts · 09/03/2018 10:02

Yes my movements are getting stronger :) So I hope DH will be able to feel them soon!

CumbrianExile · 09/03/2018 11:10

I went back after 9 months. DS was in nursery 4 days a week, for up to 10 hours. To be honest, he has blossomed in nursery, and apart form the odd clingy day he goes running in. I would have loved to have stayed off longer, but finances ruled the decision. I expect I will have about the same amount of time of this time, but will have to assess after about 6 months, and if finances dictate I will go back earlier.

Had my 16 week midwife appointment just now. Hearing the heartbeat is amazing isn't it?!

Ended up having the whooping cough vaccine too. I thought it was from 20 weeks, but the midwife advised that it has recently changed and its now from 16 weeks. I went to book an appointment at reception after seeing the midwife, and the nurse said she would do it there and then as she had a spare 5 minutes. Arm is a little sore now though haha.

Bertie I hope you manage to find a midwife. And good luck with the job application.

Emmasmum2013 · 09/03/2018 11:22

16 week appointment was a bit boring. She didn't even attempt to listen to the heartbeat because she said baby is still quite low down in your pelvis at this stage so it can be hard to get a reading, and then just cause more stress if she can't. She said she had a lady this morning who insisted she try and it took ages to find and even then was faint.
So it was just, blood pressure, urine sample, and more of the same questions. Gutted :(

SpriteGirl · 09/03/2018 11:39

Had my whooping cough vaccine too yesterday (18 weeks this week). My arm is killing now! Was in agony just turning over in bed.

Haven't felt any movements yet I really want to feel it move!!!

@BertieBotts wishing you success in your search for a midwife!

CumbrianExile · 09/03/2018 12:42

Aw that's a shame Emmasmum. I went in with the expectation that she may not listen to the heartbeat going off some of the comments on here and the FB page, but she told me she would. When I said that I wasn't sure if she would do it, she did say some Trusts don't, but that she like to try and hear it. Luckily she found it straight away and it was a good strong heartbeat.

BertieBotts · 09/03/2018 12:50

It's strange how much it varies isn't it? I remember them doing it at booking in when I was pregnant with DS and then every time subsequently.

Mine is doing somersaults now as well as little flutters :) When I put my trousers on earlier he/she really reacted to that as if to say "Constricting my room??" Grin

Gem173 · 09/03/2018 17:13

Can’t wait now! 16 week appt on weds and gender scan on sat 17th March. Been looking at my 12 week scan trying to see if I can figure out before the gender scan! Honestly have no idea. My body saying a girl but my mind is telling me it’s a boy!

August 2018 #4
Gem173 · 09/03/2018 17:14

Would love a girl❤️ And because of this my mind tells me it’s a boy💙 wouldn’t be unhappy either way 😍