November 2017 #4: Bump botherers, nesting and maternity leave!

[GingerHanna]

In which we swat away unwanted hands, perform military operations every night to roll over in our sleep, clean the kitchen cupboards for the eleventy billionth time and count down the days to our maternity leave!

Previous thread here.

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I’m 36 weeks tomorrow, due 6 November. Baby is moving loads, and I’ve had the cleansing effect that I’ve read about. My boobs ACHE and my lower back is really starting to act up. My stomach has dropped as well. Starting to get a bit nervous the baby won’t make it to the end of October! I have a growth scan on Thursday, due to GD. Hopefully they’ll give me some guidance. I’m worried I’ll have her at or right before 37 weeks!

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend?

I’m so glad to be on maternity leave,my swollen feet have caused an old foot injury to flair up and I’m now hobbling and waddling. I must look like an entertaining sight!

I have an appointment with the gynaecologist for my bladder issue and my Midwife has stressed to me that I must discuss my birth options with her.

Hospital bag is completely packed and ready and today we are setting up the crib in our bedroom. I’m so excited! The cat may be a bit put out when she finds out it isn’t for her though lol!

Busy weekend here - DD has had two playdates. Went shopping and bought things like breast pads, Nipple Shields and giant pants which made it all seem very real.

I'm completely exhausted but finished work on Friday and so looking forward to just resting and pottering tomorrow once the school run is done. We've been given bags and bags of second hand baby clothes so I'm going to start sorting those and planning to start packing the hospital bag.

Talking of giant pants, I bought "full briefs" from Primark a few weeks ago ... They're HUGE!

@Zampa I bought the save type of pants from primark, I also bought some short style ones.

Our crib is set up in our bedroom, now I’m even more impatient for our baby!

@Amd724 I’ve been experiencing that cleansing effect for a few weeks now, want it to end in a way! Due 1/12 and bump dropped last week, also starting to wonder whether I will make it to due date. They do membrane sweep as routine at 38 weeks in my area, debating whether to have it or not. Not sure I can handle waiting / back pain until 1/11 but equally feels wrong to try and kick baby out early!

@Zampa I had those after my emcs with DS. They are the most comfortable pants, ended up wearing much longer than I needed to!

We put the crib in our room today too @theotherendofthesockportal. It's currently filled with cushions off our bed & not yet made up but we're getting there. The cats are very partial to sleeping in the crib, Moses basket, cot & car seat so planning on leaving them unmade until the last minute to minimise cat hair. I'm sure they'll run a mile once there is a crying baby in there!

Think I've overdone it this weekend. DS has had 2 birthday parties & swimming lesson & ive done a big food shop, cleaned the house top to bottom & been moving furniture. Baby is not happy with me from the way she's kicking & getting lots of tightenings too. I'm on holiday tomorrow so will try & rest but easier said than done!

@Topsyloulou I’ve already had to shoo one of the cats out of the crib, I have had to put some crinkly paper in there to deter the little fluffy munchkins.

Haha @Topsy I have been doing the same with our Moses basket, my DH hates that I need about 50 decorative cushions on our bed that I put on each morning and take off each night but they make it look much more inviting! The crib is perfect to hold my cushions :)

I have been having some pains across the top of my bump when I move too quickly or sit up too fast, like I've pulled a muscle. Ended up at the maternity unit yesterday because Bubba was a tad quiet, as soon as I was strapped up the Midwife could see my stomach contorting side to side as little one went crazy with movement and was totally fine! Doctor confirmed the pains are a combo of tightenings and everything stretching in these last stages!

Got home and had a massive meltdown as it has now hit me this is happening and I don't feel ready at all! How will I do labour?! It's just hit me like a wave! I've been so chilled about it but now I'm seriously feeling unprepared 😬🙈 It's quite a lonely feeling as my DH doesn't have to do it, it's just me. Phew, breathe. X

@Hazandduck I know the feeling of the reality of labour suddenly hitting you I feel the same aft r NCT today/ yesterday (can’t sleep again!).

I was wondering if people were putting a mobile in cot/ crib from the start or waiting until baby sleeps on their own? We don’t have anything currently. Was hoping our siblings would ask/ offer to buy us something useful but none of them have I think it’s because we are both eldest and first sibling on each side to have a baby that they haven’t thought of it. There were a few things I didn’t buy because would be nice for someone else to buy, but with 3 wks til due date I will just get on with it!

Ah @lydia it is horrible isn't it. A few people have said to me "it's got to come out somehow!" and it just makes me feel a bit helpless really. I must remember to not be so unsympathetic once I've had my baby to other pregnant women who are worried. I swear some people enjoy putting the fear of God in to you.

A couple of people have asked me what I need, like my parents etc, but I feel quite rude asking. My siblings have been similar to yours but maybe they are waiting until our little ones are here to get a pressie? I've not got our nursery furniture yet, so we haven't got a mobile or anything, just a Moses basket next to the bed. Oh and this light up lullaby mushroom thing that the lady in the shop gave us when we bought our travel system as a good luck gift? Haha. It was £20 so I was happy with it!

People keep asking me if I'm feeling ready... Every time I have a moment of "for what...? Oh, right, an actual baby!" Then I start to panic when it hits me that she could be here in 3 weeks & be considered "term"! You'd think given that it's my third time doing this I'd be better prepared but I feel less mentally prepped than with either of my previous DC! Less physically prepped too - we're still using the cot bed for DS2 while we toilet train him at night because it's easier to change than a single bed. He'd better hurry up & get the hang of it! I also feel like because I've done it twice before my brain thinks I know what I'm doing so I don't need to really think about it. I've been a big home birth fan since I was pregnant with DS1 & completely believed that my body could do this... Now I'm feeling completely unprepared & considering going to the local midwife led centre out of fear! I must make time to read Ina May Gaskin's child birth book soon!

Sorry to hear that some of you ladies are feeling stressed. I had a melt down last night and ended up sitting in the dark crying until my husband came and found me. I feel so unprepared and I’m worried about feeling lonely once the baby is here.

This is on top of not sleeping for months, plus I’ve got a bad tummy at the moment.

I have had enough of moaning! I’m going to be positive and go out for a slice of cake with an old friend.

Hope everyone has a happy Monday!

I'm having practical panics about how on earth I'm going to get out of the house every morning for the school run. And breastfeeding was a total nightmare for me last time - I keep remembering things and getting upset about it, made worse by the fact that DH doesn't remember what went wrong and why it was so bad. I'm finding it easiest to assume it'll be awful again and have low expectations, whereas he wants to think positive.

Ahh @Hazandduck you’re right I guess people forget the fear or think they are being helpful by telling you their stories! I hope my siblings become more tuned in once the baby is here and I feel the same re telling people what we need.

@theotherendofthesockportal I spent most of the night getting upset about various family and friends who at various points in the last 10-15 years have let me down in big or small way. Then I started on DH this mornin just before he went to work, it was like I was desperate to make us both miserable!

@butterybollocks @AGnu I’m sure you both did great last time and the fear is settling you in making you feel less than great this time. I hope you get to rest and prepare in the ways that feel right for you x

Weirdly, I'm far, far more stressed and apprehensive about actually looking after a baby than I am about childbirth. I figure I'll be in hospital with people telling me what to do, but once we get back home it's all up to me and DH and we don't know what the hell we're doing. That's more scary to me.

Another weeper here! I'm getting increasingly anxious about this baby's health and safe arrival.

@lydiangel83 I recommend getting a basic black and white mobile to start off with. Something that looks good to baby (so pictures facing down into the cot). I stuck little blank and white patterns around DD's incubator to occupy her. A musical one or similar can wait until they're older.

@lydiangel83 I am having the same thoughts, especially as I have been badly let down by a few friends since becoming pregnant. I’m trying to focus on happy thoughts as I don’t want to get sucked into a weepy despair. I have our NCT group later so I am hoping that will perk me up.

Thanks @lydiangel83 I found the baby bit hard last time but I think I was way too hard on myself - so that's what I'm aiming to work on this time.

I've been sorting baby clothes today - we've been given so much stuff second hand that we actually haven't had to buy a single thing! It's taken me hours just to sort them all into sizes...next step is washing them all!

So, not really sure where to start on all the crap going on...

Wednesday - Kramzorg (post-natal nurse that comes to your house for six hours a day for eight days after birth to help mum and baby) came and went through what to expect and what I needed to have. Lots of list not bought and expected to have it all sorted by 36 weeks (I am 34 weeks). Arse. Silly things like rubber hot water bottle not allowed due to leakage risk so have to get two aluminimum 'kruiks' and need plastic stool to sit on in shower. Oh, and need plain cotton fitted sheets for crib not flannel. Argh! So bit of a panic there, especially with timeframes and all being a bit real.

Thursday am: DH gets notice of redundancy. Verbal. Fuck. He hates job and was going to quit at the end of the year but this was all a bit sudden. Should get some kind of pay out etc though.

Thursday pm: midwife appointment going through birth plan. All good until does blood pressure... it's rising. Suddenly alarm bells ringing and they ask me about a list of other symptoms. I ask them if they're worried about preeclampsia. They are. Got to go back Tuesday to see how progressed and call if any other symptoms in the meantime.

Friday am: work from home in attempt to rest. Lots of sharp pains across top of belly. Call midwife and have to go in later that day to review.

Friday pm: midwife happy that blood pressure going down (yay) so of high alter for preeclampsia but now worried that baby feels small and had been big before and then average so worried growth is slowing down. There Tuesday appointment cancelled and now I have to go in for a scan on Thursday.

So yeah, shitty few days. I've agreed with my boss to reduce my hours and focus on getting my replacement up to speed. Due to finish work Friday 20th and replacement off next week so have to complete handover this week and then back 'on the job' next week, albeit on reduced hours.

Trying to get legal stuff sorted this end so marriage is registered and DH recognized as the father (interesting legal system over here). Just want to be off work and nesting. Cannot even nest properly as house still under renovation and foster kitties in nursery which still needs lots of work.

Not stressing. Honest.

Aww @GingerHanna hand hold for you and tea and biscuits that does sound like a lot going on. Fingers crossed all ok with baby and that your DH gets treated decently by his work xx

Oh crikey @GingerHanna that does sound like an intensive week for you. Sending you a hand hold and I am hoping this week gets better for you.

Do you have to pay for the medical appointments you have? Sorry to be nosey, it’s just that it seems they are offering a lot, especially one that comes to your house for a few hours so I was wondering how it all works.

Oh @Ginger that sounds so stressful! Also sending a handhold to you and your DH :( I'm sorry it's all happening now! I had those top of bump pains and am getting them whenever I get stressed (mainly at bloody work which is a nightmare) but have been checked out and told it is just a symptom of this stage of pregnancy, fingers crossed yours is the same as it sounds like a similar pain.

I hate that everyone is stressed, but it is reassuring that we all must be feeling it and that surely means it's normal?? Times like this I wish we could all meet up for a cup of tea and cake @sock as we all have been on this journey together! I've not had time to do any antenatal classes so don't really have anyone at the exact same stage as me.

I have just had a message from a friend setting me up on a 'date' with a girl due the same day as me, hopefully she will be nice and feeling the same as me haha.

Seriously tempted to go on mat leave early. Work is so stressful, I could just cry with how much I don't want to be there!