October Babies #2 - midwife appointments and "scanxiety"

[TinySalmon]

Last thread was filling up so I thought I'd start a new one

Link to Thread #1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2832732-October-2017-come-one-come-all?

Current October babies list:

Puttingourhoodupdown – EDD 23rd September. Team yellow
Piraterach – EDD 27th September. Team yellow
NotMyPenguin – EDD 27th September. Team yellow
mandScookiesrule – EDD 29th September. Team yellow
jeneral – EDD 29TH September. Team yellow
Presh88 - EDD 30th September. Team yellow
Mulberry2627 – EDD 30th September. Team yellow
Dinosaurkisses – EDD 30th September. Team yellow
Stickaforkinimdone EDD - 1st October. Team yellow
Emmaluggs – EDD 1st October. Team yellow
MrsMcKeon – EDD 1st October. Team yellow
Hannahjoshaw – EDD 2nd October. Team yellow
Sbs6jb1 – EDD 2nd October. Team yellow
Addtothechaos – EDD 3rd October. Team yellow
Sj3rram – EDD 3rd October. Team yellow
Mummabubs – EDD 3rd October. Team yellow
10storeyloveson – EDD 4th October. Team yellow
Cineraria – EDD 4th October. Team yellow
gimbleInTheWabe – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
NannyOggsKnickers – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
Emberblu – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
Hometownunicorn – EDD 5th October. Team yellow
Bubbles – EDD 6th October. Team yellow
Wapsmahoney – EDD 6th October. Team yellow
Powerpuff – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Rainingcats – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
BrioLover – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Tammie49 – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Conkerchops – EDD 8th October. Team yellow
Krakentoast – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Rosalyn44 – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Trytowin – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
CarpeDiem83 – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Whyarealltheusernamestaken – EDD 9th October. Team yellow
Kirsty8333 – EDD 10th October. Team yellow
HollyMay84 – EDD 10th October. Team yellow
Chintaria – EDD 10th October. Team yellow
DancingUnicorn – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
MerlinsBeard87 – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
EmmaGarrick – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
Cath1212 – EDD 11th October. Team yellow
Greentreeseverywhere – EDD 12th October. Team yellow
Wishmeluck16 – EDD 13th October. Team yellow
Starfish83 – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
Pollybythesea – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
MrsCharlieD – EDD 13th October. Team yellow
Zookeeper73 – EDD 13th October. Team yellow
Loopyaboutmy2boys – ELCS 13th October. Team yellow
Babycarmen – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
Asilikeit – EDD 14th October. Team yellow
JackiePaper – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
TippetyTapWriter - EDD 15th October. Team yellow
ALRM – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
Fingerscrossed – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
Anotherminime – EDD 15th October. Team yellow
DaisyFranceLynch – EDD 16th October. Team yellow
TequilaSetAWatchman – EDD 16th October. Team yellow
Doomkittycleo – EDD 16th October. Team yellow
Orifu – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Walikingdeadfan – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Ppleasebob – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Boxesoffrogs – EDD 17th October. Team yellow
Yellowstarred – EDD 18th October. Team Yellow
DrunkenFlamingo – EDD 18th October. Team yellow
TinySalmon – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Lovechild2016 – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Abcdemma – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Emjmoore – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Iemma321q – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Luna4689 – EDD 19th October. Team yellow
Rachieg88 – EDD 20th October. Team yellow
SophieGiroux – EDD 20th October. Team yellow
Amyappletree – EDD 20th October. Team yellow
UndersecretaryofWhimsy – EDD 21st October. Team yellow
SeatOfMyPants – EDD 21st October. Team yellow
Glitterbubble – EDD 22nd October. Team yellow
Charmanar – EDD 22nd October. Team yellow
Mishmishmish – EDD 22nd October. Team yellow
Emwithme – EDD 23rd October. Team yellow
DrMum83 – EDD 23rd October. Team yellow
PlayOnWurtz – EDD 24th October. Team yellow
JanuaryJuniper –EDD 25th October. Team yellow
Shinysparklythings – EDD 28th October. Team yellow
DebsOctBaby – EDD 28th October. Team yellow
88claire – EDD 29th October. Team yellow
Calmisthemantra – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Miwelaisjacydo – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Donkey86 - EDD TBC. Team yellow
Dinosaursparklepup – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Chlo22 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Thepotatoesofdefiance – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Han1984 –EDD TBC. Team yellow
Rosiehukk4 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Sapphire1983 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Peabody81 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Greentreeseverywhere – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Twinklelittlestar1 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Rayna – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Firsttimenearcarrier2015 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Allykatz – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Punkpuffin – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Otter16 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Reddy4no2 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Fairraid – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Missm0use – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Xxmissbrightsidexx –EDD TBC. Team yellow
Confusedat23 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
Rufus200 – EDD TBC. Team yellow
FluttershyStare – EDD TBC. Team yellow

So sorry to hear the sad news from too many people on here - it seems very unfair. Thinking of you xxxx

So very sorry, Chintaria. Take care, hon, and hope that you have lots of support around you.

Welcome, Plz - sorry that you're having a hard time with medication withdrawal alongside pregnancy symptoms. I think lots of us are struggling with time passing slowly, different levels of anxiety, and the realisation that these early days are so fragile and uncertain. Hope that joining us helps your journey.

xx

Thank you so much starfish, it really is such an uncertain time.
Sending good thoughts to everyone. x

So sorry for the sad news yesterday 💐

Chintaria, I'm so sorry to read your news. I so wanted your miracle to happen. Thinking of you and hoping you are surrounded by love. 💐

Plzbesticky it's a strange feeling. I always assumed I'd be thrilled to be pregnant and live every second, but there's so much doubt at this early stage and general feeling ill. Hard to enjoy!

I was thinking while driving to work this morning that no one really prepares you for the anxiety you feel during the first trimester. As often, people don't share news until after the first 12 weeks, it can so nerve wracking yet you have no one to talk to really. I don't know if it's the fact that now, more people talk about early mc and that's so important, to educate and share experiences but I think it has actually made people so much more aware of the risks in the early days. It's much more talked about now that 20-30% of early first pregnancies result in mc. That statistic is high and we are aware that it is 'common'. Yet it is still more likely we will have a successful pregnancy than an unsuccessful one. However, we can't help but get stuck on that statistic, on the fact it is 'common' and it fills us with anxiety. It's so great that we are able to share and it is more acceptable to talk about early loss yet it is a double-edged sword. That was my in-depth think of the morning anyway!

I learned after multiple miscarriages to let a couple of people in on it so I had a support network around me. I've told my parents and sister and they've been amazing listening to my fears and anxieties. There's no reason why you can't tell people

I'm in a stinking mood again today. I hope this passes!

Yeah I certainly think telling people makes sense - there seems to be this idea in society where it's just not the done thing (although I'm realising from being on here that lots of people do tell a few close friends early). Being in this position has made me realise how important it is to talk things through!

Oh playonwurtz I'll join you on that though.

Hi all, I've just been catching up on the last few days.

I'm really sorry for Zookeeper, Bubbles, Tinysalmon and Chintaria. It's so sad to hear about your losses, I'm thinking of you all. It seems so unfair that you have to go through this.

However it's not all been bad news and I wanted to say congratulations to Drmum, Powerpuffer, Babycarmen and Missm0use for your successful scans! Here's hoping today is a more positive day for everyone.

I'm so sorry it was such a bad news day yesterday for so many people :( thinking of you.

Sorry to hear so much bad news, thinking of you all x
I agree with emvy that is hard to talk about but I think we maybe should. It happened to me a few months ago and wasnt expecting it to and it was really hard and has made me more anxious this time. But personally, I was glad I hadn't told too many people. Also remember that even after a miscarriage most women are able to have healthy babies in future.

Change of topic, but I just rang the hospital to find out what was happening with my appts and it turns out GP hadnt referred me despite saying she would! So had do it myself online!

Sorry to read about so many sad losses recently

Still very nauseous and gassy here, which I'm taking as a good sign. Thought my MW appt was in a week but it's two weeks away, gaaah!

Emvy I think you're so right, no one has ever mentioned to me that it's so stressful in the first few weeks - we are so receptive to our bodies these days and early pregnancy tests are so accurate that it means a lot of us find out earlier and that lengthens the time of worry I think.

The OH keeps saying "what will be will be" and I'm trying my hardest to think the same way. X

My OH says the exact same thing plz. Like you say, when all the physical bodily changes are happening directly to you it makes it difficult to put to one side and try to focus on normal life and put the anxieties to one side.

walkingdeadfan I completely agree we should talk about it, it's certainly a good thing, I'm just attempting to reason why the first trimester is so anxiety-filled when as others have said, I never expected anxiety. It's something I've wanted for so long that I assumed all I would feel was excitement, so I've just been mulling things over in my head is all! It gives me something to focus on other than possible bad news.

Hope everyone is having a more positive day

emvy I keep telling him it's easy for him to say - he's being very good to be fair but I don't think it has really "hit him" yet that we are having a baby!

walkingdeadfan I completely agree that we should be open, too many people suffer in silence and it's not necessary these days.

Having said that I haven't told anyone (except for all of you!) and we have agreed not to tell anyone until after our early scan. I guess I just want there to be something positive to tell?

Sorry to hear about your losses Tiny and Chintaria. The early weeks are just horrid to get through.

plzbesticky I'm with your OH. At this stage what will be will be and a baby isn't a certainty yet. As far as I am concerned, right now I am not having a baby. I just happen to be pregnant, and maybe just maybe there might be a take home baby if the next 4-6 weeks go week but even then it's not certain. I'm just trying to take comfort from the fact I'm 6+2 today and that 11/13 MC's had happened by now and my other Mc had basically died today. So if there is by miracle a heartbeat at Thursday's scan, that puts this pregnancy on a par with my 2 sons pregnancies but I still won't feel secure about there being a baby. And for self preservation i need to keep thinking like that....

That should read if the next 4-6 weeks go WELL and should read 11/12 MC's.....should read before pressing post!!

chintaria I'm so sorry, I was looking forward to taking this journey with you and with all the others who have bowed out . I hope you're on your own happy journey very soon.
Praying that the remaining babies stay sticky please ❤️

Just spoken to my midwife for the first time and already don't like her. She told me off for getting my period date wrong and said that I can't possibly have short cycles so she's decided my edd is the 27th and that I'm not 6 weeks I'm 5 weeks. Whatever. I then told her my miscarriage history asked about an early scan and was told it can wait until I'm 8 weeks and they'll discuss it at my booking in appointment and make a decision then but "let's see if you make it to 8 weeks first"

Btw my lmp wasn't wrong they'd recorded it wrong!

wurtz I just refused to give the EPU my lmp as it makes no difference when that was. I do not and have never had the textbook 28 day cycles that allow them to use the lmp method of dating. I do however know when I ovulate each time and so gave them that and made it clear I know exactly how far gone I am. Otherwise like with my sons they would be insistent that I am more pregnant than I actually am, as I have longer cycles. I refuse to play their silly dating games! I just contacted my RMC consultants secretary and she got EPU to call me to book the early scan, I haven't even told my GP or midwife that I'm pregnant yet, doesn't seem any point unless i at least get through Thursday's scan.

My midwife was a bit dismissive of my cycle lengths too. I told her they're usually 32 days but occasionally several days longer, up to 40, but she calculated it as if they were 28 and gave me an EDD that is at least four days early. Hopefully it'll get corrected when I have my 12 week scan.

Loopy that's such a good way of thinking about it. Self preservation or not, it's very practical and sensible. I wish I'd have thought of it that way too and I will try to from now on, with future (hopefully) pregnancies regardless of the outcome next week. Thank you! I will be taking this attitude forwards!

Playonwurtz how ridiculous. That's such a shame she wasn't very nice

Hey ladies sorry i have been away... currently 5+5 today with EDD 26th October

I have had some trouble with severe pain On my right side caused by fluid on my ovary but had a second early scan which saw with a mean average diameter of 3.4mm which is bang on for where i am and there was even a yolk sac which was good as confirmed not ectopic as previously thought!

Re-scan on 13th to try and see a heartbeat but currently still under care of EPI

EPU**