May 2017 #6........ 'Half way there and trips to Mothercare'

[Adventuregame]

And the chat/moans/advice/excitement continues.............any newbies welcome !

Wow this place moves fast!

Ineednewshoes thanks for the help with the bottle stuff that sounds doable!

Gurtie I suddenly got the fear over this yesterday!! Thanks everyone for the reassurance. I'm going to suggest to the other pregnant women in work that we start a WhatsApp group.

I have an anterior placenta and still can't feel baby properly (feel the odd bubble/lurch but no kicks) and husband hasn't felt either. Was moving around loads during the scan apparently but I couldn't feel any of it. Anyone had an anterior placenta before? Does it still start to feel more obvious later on once baby is bigger?

Autumn I have anterior placenta too and I only feel the baby really low down and usually at night, no chance of my husband feeling anything yet. I remember how uncomfortable all the movement was last time so I'm enjoying the placenta pillow 😂
Gurtie. It's really really normal. It took me a really long time to be happy at the prospect of being on my own with my son. Babies are pretty dull and it's all very very overwhelming. See if your local children's centre runs a new parents group, I made some fab friends there and we still meet up all the time.

Gurtie - had a similar feeling of fear coming over me but it was in regards to when it's the school holidays, as dh won't have any more leave so I will have an energetic child as well as a small baby to look after. Trying not to think about it too much but when I had dd I found going out to playgroups every day along with midwife/health worker appointment helped time go quicker. I suffer from cabin fever at the best of times and started going to babygroups when dd was 6 weeks old.

Have got my whooping cough jab this morning along with my first appointment with the consultant so hoping everything will be fine.

Autumn I have an anterior placenta, I'm 22 weeks today and only this week have I actually felt anything properly - until now it's been only bubbles.

1004 that's good to know as I've been wondering the same as you autumn! I lay so still trying hard to feel movements and my husband puts his head on my belly to see what he can hear or feel. Mainly lots of gurgling!! I think I may have felt 2/3 bubbly movements but that's it.

Hope scan goes well today mrspage :)

Good luck with consultant and jab
jenny

Gurtie that has crossed my mind too.
I think if giving birth in May the weather should be getting better so we can venture outside a fair bit. I'm lucky with a maintained shared garden and a bunch of wonderful neighbours.
The attention for your baby will be very much absorbing your time and won't leave much room for negotiation. Resting up and getting to know each other is incredibly important of course. Feeding and sleeping will take enough time. Your hubby coming home from work will be a nice thing to look forward to, but otherwise we are here to chat to, if you have a minute left.
I think that one of baby's rounder structures is pushing just below my navel, is that possible? I thought that baby would still be much lower? My partner is so happy when he can feel kicks and hear the gurgling as soon as he puts his ear on my big belly. I went to see my ex colleagues yesterday and a girl is pregnant for exactly same date but she's so slim still. My bump is neat but it resembles a 6 month pregnant tummy!

I have an anterior placenta too. I'm just now starting to feel more movement, but it's not consistent, and DH has only felt it a couple of times. I did feel like I got elbowed this morning though!

I seem to be spending a lot of time sleeping on my back again. I'm really struggling with sleep, so trying not to stress about it, but failing really. Info on the internet is very mixed. I do go to sleep on my side, but wake up a lot on my back.

Badger I get it. I was starting to get worried about not feeling anything much. It's yet another weird pregnancy thing going from virtually nothing to DH being able to feel. I guess s/he's just reached the right size!

All good at scan, thank you for kind wishes. We had a fabulous sonographer who sort of commentated the whole thing which was really reassuring. Baby was very wriggly but she managed to check everything she needed to and the measurements were all spot on. So happy!!
She also confirmed our gender private scan before xmas and he is def a boy! A very proud boy by the looks of the things!!!

Glad the scan is done, now it's all starting to feel a bit more real!!

Hiya all - been a bit preoccupied back at work the past few days so just catching up.

Off to hossie for 20wk scan part two this afternoon. Need to see the head and the heart and lungs.

Is anyone else feeling incredibly teary/hormonal at the moment? Spent Sunday eve sobbing and find myself randomly tearing up in public for no particular reason (like now!!).

MissMoo & GrowCook & 100Rise &?MrsJW Sure I started to feel movement last night. Is it weird to say that it's a bit like a mix of wind and orgasm?!? Tingly and fluttery? If it isn't Bic god only knows what is going on in there!!

JennyMac I was wondering about baby shower too, but feels a bit weird to arrange for myself ;/

Sipper really like the. Idea of an intro BBQ in the summer - what an ice way to get folk to meet the new addition!!

Bright the nursery looks lovely!! Sonnet the Mothercare feeding glider chair thingy seems good value - and comfy!
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Rasperry* good going on keeping the spreadsheet updated! In the same boat as you with NCT classes. As a first times I figure it should help meet others in the same boat! Mine start on 25/3. When are yours? Not sure if that's a bit late/close

Northern the MatB1 thing is driving me mad! MW says go to GP. GP (receptionist) says no - go back to MW! Grrrrr. Am also doing cover planning. Want to give acting up to my team and backfill their posts but not over pressure them when I won't be there to support. Tough choices!!

Barnes & Lullaby & Tantrum & Halfbutty & MrsPage really glad the scan(s) went well!*

Nurse* saw a friend at the weekend who had her little boys at 34wks and 26wks and both are fine and healthy and happy. Closer I get to the latter (currently 22wks) the more reassured I'm getting.... ish

So excited/terrified!! Looked at my work planner yesterday and in just over three months I'll be on mat leave and in just about four, all being well, I'll be a mum. Gulp!!

Can I ask some more (possibly stupid) questions?

So I now know I cannot claim any benefits as our income is "too high" which is a shame but never mind.

Shared Parental Leave - I have confused myself as to how this works. I am intending on having just over seven months maternity, (including about a months worth of holiday) around mid May to beginning of January 2018. 4.5 of those months are fully paid, the rest being SMP. If I take roughly 32 weeks maternity, does that mean there is a "spare" time that my partner could take once I go back to work and he would be paid statutory parental leave (same per week as SMP)? If this is right, a) how is this "applied" for and can his employer refuse it on any basis?

Second question - when do most people start maternity leave? I spoke with my boss earlier and said I wanted to work as late a possible so was looking at maternity leave starting on my due date, but using a week or two's holiday before that so I would leave around 38/39 weeks. He seems to think this is "ambitious"?

I am so confused about maternity leave, pay, holidays, etc that I am getting mega stressed out!

RedBlu on SPL - yes, basically. As a couple, you can take 52 weeks of leave, of which 39 are paid. So if you go back to work after 32 weeks, you have 7 weeks of stat pay left, which your husband can use, plus he could take some unpaid leave. Holiday time is treated like being back at work.

I think to apply one parent has to fill in all the forms, so you can do it via your employer. I don't think they can refuse if the employee is eligible (ie been there enough time and give the right amount of notice) but obviously if the employer is not keen it can be harder when they go back to work.

Does that make sense?

I'm also planning to work to 38 weeks. I think it depends on the person and the type of job!

Red I am starting mat leave on the 18th April (2 weeks before due date) but taking 2 weeks holiday immediately before that, so in reality my last day is about 1 month before my due date. I have mainly done this as DH and I are both the first born in our families and we were both early... I know it doesn't necessarily follow but I would rather go off and know there is no risk of it happening at work! Also I'm finding I'm really tired so I'd like a break before the baby arrives. I handed in my MatB1 and notification letter this morning, which was a little scary!

I've been working out my maternity leave this morning. Plan is to work til the end of April and take a week's leave then start ML on the 8th May, the week before my due date. I was late (a lot late), so thinking this baby will be late too. I'm only sitting at a desk so I think I can just move my chair further away from the desk

In other news starting to virtually mainline gaviscon tablets... is there anything else I can do?

I'm finishing work a week before, when I tell people I get some odd looks but I'd rather have the time off after. Plus if I'm uncomfortable and miserable I might as well drag some others into my misery rather than sitting at home being miserable!

Ha! Rabbity! Love the fact you intend to share your misery!

Thanks for the responses. So with Shared Parental Leave, does that need to be sorted out BEFORE I go on maternity or can that be done during? He would probably take a week here and there (I believe you can take up to three blocks) rather than all at once, as I doubt his employer would let him anyway.

I am glad others are working quite close to their due dates. I work in an office, have a fairly easy commute and am pretty much sat down all day. Like others, I would rather have time the other end than at the start and as this is our first, I have no idea if she will arrive on time or late (hopefully not early).

That is another question, where do I get the MAT-B1 form from? My boss and my partners boss have asked for this, but the midwife hasn't mentioned it and I don't see her know until I am 25+2 and my employer requires the form to be handed in before the end of the 25th week so it is cutting it close. Can I ask the midwife for the form before I see her?

I think you have to arrange it in advance, although I'm not certain. You might need to check with one of your HR teams. Google was relatively helpful when we were figuring it out, but in the end I say down with HR.

I think you need to sort shares parental leave in advance too. You normally get the Mat1B from your midwife at around 24/5 weeks. If you need it earlier then give the midwife a call, but otherwise you'll probably be given it at the appointment.

I've put down a week before my due date so I maximise the time at the other end. Plus, I'm pretty sure this one will be late like my first.

Red I spoke to my midwife and requested my MatB1 form early, I was supposed to be getting it at my 25 week appt next week but my manager goes away for 3 weeks on Friday and I wouldn't have been able to give it to him before the deadline they've set otherwise. My midwife was really helpful and arranged for it to be left at the doctors reception even though she was on holiday !

I'm taking 2 weeks annual leave and then starting Smp on my due date. I did this last time and it was fine, in fact I could have worked another week easily (office job and easy commute). It means I can carry a couple of weeks annual leave to next year so less time spent getting no money.

Anyone with kids at nursery - are you keeping them there while you're on leave? Or cutting their hours? Taking them out completely? Difficult to get the balance between wasting money, not excluding the older ones but also not having a bored toddler and a newborn!

Oh wow guys, thank you all so much! I think it is the fear of the unknown...and facing the unknown alone! But just knowing that I'm not the only one that has had/is having the same fear is really reassuring.
Will definitely research local baby groups too.
.....such a shame paternity leave is so short, but I suppose something is better then nothing!

Oh I was wrong about the shared parental leave. It's 8 weeks notice here. So can be requested once you are on mat leave.

I just don't know Acorn. My DD is in nursery 3 days per week and it's incredibly expensive. Ideally I'd keep her in as she loves it, I think I'll find having two exhausting, plus it will hold her place for when I go back. But as you say she may be confused if she goes in and I'm at home, and we could do with the money.