Thread 13. TTC #1 Grads. Some of us still remember that thing called "a full nights sleep" for most, it's a mere memory.

[AudreyBradshaw]

Behold, the wonder of birth! Members from 6 weeks bfp to post-partum wonder Mamas! No question to grotty or minging.

We've come full circle from obsessing about cervical mucus to now obsessing if it's our vagina baby plug going! What larks!

Lots of talk about poo, ours and now babies too! Baby brain is REAL! From morning sickness in the first trimester to the third trimester struggle of getting out of bed ( "walrus-ing"in our house), to actual real babies who are growing so fast! Discussion on the merits of sleepyhead and Ewan the dream sheep.

Sooo many gorgeous babies now! And equally lovely Mummy's! We are amazing! What a year! Can you believe it's been a year since our first tentative TTC thread!? Look how far we've come!

Roll up, literally, in my case, cause I'm practically rotund! for TTC #1 Grads!

Audrey I'm so sorry about your DH. I don't know what to say but I'm really hoping that it won't be as bad as you think and you'll be able to work something out. You poor thing, you really don't need this when you're only weeks from your due date. Sending you lots of love x

Jan I agree with all that potato has mentioned, I would also add bottles as Inam expressing twice a day now. I got an electric pump after giving birth too. I would say you'll need a LOT of muslins, just pick up a pack of cheap ones every time you pass Asda or primark. You'll go through a few a day. Also I go through at least 2/3 sleepsuits a day, i would say get a few cheap multi packs of them as it only takes a bit of sick to escape the bib and it's a whole outfit change. I don't have any socks for Autumn but we do have 3 snow suits ( I live in Scotland though and have been walking quite a bit).
I would also recommend the Aldi nappies in size 1, you'll need quite a lot ( I can go through 2/3 in one change if she decides to do a spontaneous poo or wee), start off with 1 or 2 large packs to keep you going for the first week or so.

Nev I'm sorry bodhi has been hard work recently. Autumn hasn't been the easiest the last few days and I had the same talk with my mum 'does my baby not like me?' as it seemed she was getting hysterical from overtiredness and everyone else could settle her but me! My mum said that babies have to 'train' their parents and this is how they do it. If they can smell us then they'll keep acting up as they know we will feed them to comfort them, whereas my DH or mum doesn't have the 'milk' smell so she'll calm down once she knows she can't get more food from them. Hope that makes sense. It made me feel slightly better. Being a mum is tough but it will get better and this phase will pass I'm really hoping because I'm bloody knackered too!

Sorry you're tired potato, hopefully the growth spurt is a quick one and you get some sleep soon!!

So my friend left this morning, it was lovely seeing her but I did find that I was stressing a bit as I couldn't 'entertain' her. We went for dinner (baby-free) the other night which was nice but apart from that we've been round the house or just to Asda. Autumn has been acting up and either not napping and getting over tired or just being generally fussy.
Anyone else find the hours 7-11pm bloody draining?! Autumn will be fine all day and then as soon as it hits the evening she won't nap or be put down, she SCREAMS the house down and acts like she is a starving child. My nipples were killing me last night because I just had to keep feeding.
Right now she is having a lovely nap and seems a lot more peaceful since the house is quiet, maybe she was just overstimulated with an extra person here. My other friend comes up this weekend so I'm hoping she doesn't get fussy again.

That sounds hard nev. Not sure I can offer any helpful advice but I hope things improve.

Sorry to hear that stardrey it sounds really difficult. I second what potato said don't suffer in silence let them know how you're feeling. The midwife can't involve social services there's no conviction.

So it's been 48 hours after vaccs and Harrison is still so off he's sleeping so much and barely feeding which I'm still having to wake him up for. I'm just about to call the health visitor for advice as he's just had an almighty breakdown. He was fast asleep one moment then crying so hard he was inconsolable the next and that's not like him at all. My poor baby

Audrey I agree, please talk it out. We're here for you everything will work out just fine - I promise.

Really 2016 - I feel like we should just turn it off and back on again...

Hope everyone's ok, will read through properly later

Hi all just checking in as I've been off the radar since LO's birth. She's 2 weeks now and we're starting to settle at home after being in hospital for 5 days. Bub doing well and I'm on the road to recovery (3rd degree tear plus episiotomy and forceps delivery)... I'm still on the paracetamol and ibuprofen and movicol and so so impatient to just be back to normal. Sometimes it is more comfortable to stand than sit!!

Sorry I haven't been on at all to catch up on posts. I hope everyone is well and I'll hopefully be able to actually turn my laptop on sometime this week!

Audrey it doesn't work like that. If you tell the midwife they'll offer you extra support such as additional midwife visits, addition HV visits after the birth, counselling to help you deal with it. That sort of thing. They're there to help you, not judge or put you under more stress.

Nev I voted out

Pink post birth weight loss = shit I just had to buy a size 20 coat from now on I am on a diet not helped by my OH asking me if I wanted (home cooked) fish and chips tonight. I tried to explain that even though the battered fish is cooked in the oven and the chips in a hot air fryer, it's still not the healthiest meal. He still didn't understand so I just told him he's making my diet harder. He seemed to get that.

Indi I have a strict routine with Arya for the evening. She gets fed between 6 and 7 then plays or naps for a bit. At 8pm she goes to her dad for an hour while I tidy up and get ready for bed. We then go up to the bedroom with low light and have a snuggly feed at 9pm. Strictly no playing or being interesting after that point. She's always in bed by 10pm and nearly always stays that way until 3am. It seems to work for us but it is a little easier for me with the bottle feeding.

Miley are you still giving him calpol? That can make them sleepy but definitely call the HV and maybe make a dr appointment for tomorrow.

Lillian good to hear from you. Hope you feel better soon.

Sorry Audrey that sounds so stressful. Could you tell the midwife that you're stressed and having a hard time but perhaps not tell her exactly why if you're worried about that?

Miley Alexa has her injections tomorrow, I'm dreading it!

Pink I'm pretty depressed about my weight to be honest! I thought it would drop off quicker with breastfeeding but am also finding it hard to diet because I'm bloody hungry all the time. I also spend too
much time in coffee shops eating cake... I'd really like to be able to wear some nice clothes by Christmas though so am going to make a big effort. I'd say I'm about half a stone more than I was before pregnancy (but much more flabby!). I think I put on around 2.5 stones but didn't measure too closely as found it a bit stressful!

Jan my best advice is don't worry! That's what Amazon Prime and John Lewis online is for I don't think there's any point in going mad with clothes until you know how big they are (and gender in my case). We got by with pretty minimal things to begin with - she was pretty small so we actually went and bought some tiny baby clothes and then we needed more newborn stuff as she's only recently got into 0-3 stuff but if your baby is 10 pounds they'll not be in newborn long (if at all!). I definitely agree that to begin with we just used sleep suits with poppers day and night for ease. It's only in last 3-4 weeks (Alexa is 9 weeks) that I've been putting her in actual cute outfits.

We got 6 blankets as gifts. 6!! you'll need one on your pram and its nice to have one round the house but not 6. Definitely agree with potato re gro bags rather than blankets at night (if less than 8.8lbs they'll need to be in a gro snug first). I got a breast pump after she arrived to make sure I could breast feed so you'll only need bottled / steriliser etc if you express but no harm in getting in advance as you'll need it at some point. I don't use bibs as Alexa isn't a very sickie baby but I use muslins a lot (eg on changing table so it's not too cold for her) so I'd recommend 20! As it's got colder I'm also putting has cardigan on Alexa every day as an extra layer but I think it largely depends on the baby and the parent on what you end up using. Hope that's vaguely helpful!

Lillian good to hear from you! Sorry about the healing, that sounds tough.

Hi to all other preggos and mummies. Xx

Audrey it doesn't work like that. If you tell the midwife they'll offer you extra support such as additional midwife visits, addition HV visits after the birth, counselling to help you deal with it. That sort of thing. They're there to help you, not judge or put you under more stress.

Nev I voted out

Pink post birth weight loss = shit I just had to buy a size 20 coat from now on I am on a diet not helped by my OH asking me if I wanted (home cooked) fish and chips tonight. I tried to explain that even though the battered fish is cooked in the oven and the chips in a hot air fryer, it's still not the healthiest meal. He still didn't understand so I just told him he's making my diet harder. He seemed to get that.

Indi I have a strict routine with Arya for the evening. She gets fed between 6 and 7 then plays or naps for a bit. At 8pm she goes to her dad for an hour while I tidy up and get ready for bed. We then go up to the bedroom with low light and have a snuggly feed at 9pm. Strictly no playing or being interesting after that point. She's always in bed by 10pm and nearly always stays that way until 3am. It seems to work for us but it is a little easier for me with the bottle feeding.

Miley are you still giving him calpol? That can make them sleepy but definitely call the HV and maybe make a dr appointment for tomorrow.

Lillian good to hear from you. Hope you feel better soon.

Sorry Audrey that sounds so stressful. Could you tell the midwife that you're stressed and having a hard time but perhaps not tell her exactly why if you're worried about that?

Miley Alexa has her injections tomorrow, I'm dreading it!

Pink I'm pretty depressed about my weight to be honest! I thought it would drop off quicker with breastfeeding but am also finding it hard to diet because I'm bloody hungry all the time. I also spend too
much time in coffee shops eating cake... I'd really like to be able to wear some nice clothes by Christmas though so am going to make a big effort. I'd say I'm about half a stone more than I was before pregnancy (but much more flabby!). I think I put on around 2.5 stones but didn't measure too closely as found it a bit stressful!

Jan my best advice is don't worry! That's what Amazon Prime and John Lewis online is for I don't think there's any point in going mad with clothes until you know how big they are (and gender in my case). We got by with pretty minimal things to begin with - she was pretty small so we actually went and bought some tiny baby clothes and then we needed more newborn stuff as she's only recently got into 0-3 stuff but if your baby is 10 pounds they'll not be in newborn long (if at all!). I definitely agree that to begin with we just used sleep suits with poppers day and night for ease. It's only in last 3-4 weeks (Alexa is 9 weeks) that I've been putting her in actual cute outfits.

We got 6 blankets as gifts. 6!! you'll need one on your pram and its nice to have one round the house but not 6. Definitely agree with potato re gro bags rather than blankets at night (if less than 8.8lbs they'll need to be in a gro snug first). I got a breast pump after she arrived to make sure I could breast feed so you'll only need bottled / steriliser etc if you express but no harm in getting in advance as you'll need it at some point. I don't use bibs as Alexa isn't a very sickie baby but I use muslins a lot (eg on changing table so it's not too cold for her) so I'd recommend 20! As it's got colder I'm also putting has cardigan on Alexa every day as an extra layer but I think it largely depends on the baby and the parent on what you end up using. Hope that's vaguely helpful!

Lillian good to hear from you! Sorry about the healing, that sounds tough.

Hi to all other preggos and mummies. Xx

Indi I meant to say - yes, to tricky evenings in that Alexa basically feeds constantly from 7ish until she eventually goes down around 10.30-11. I think cluster feeding like this is fairly common in breast fed babies and they're just stocking up so they can sleep for a longer stretch. That's the theory anyway!! However if Autumn is screaming a lot at this time that sounds like it could be colic? So perhaps check with GP? Alexa doesn't scream, she just feeds and feeds!

Thank you all, I'm so lucky to have y'all. I did share a little bit with the midwife about being a bit stressed and she was wonderful. And apparently I'm bomb proof, my blood pressure wasn't affected in the slightest! Baby is pretty much as engaged as it can get and is in a good position to arrive so it's a waiting game now. Hearing the heartbeat and knowing all my stress and hysteria in the past 12 hours hadn't broken my child made me feel a lot better.

We're no further on with licensing/solicitor but there's very little I can do either way so really trying to do some mindfulness and calm breathing, what will be, will be.

And now, I need to stop being so blinking self centred and read all the posts properly. Thank you so much everyone, you are all so kind. Lucky to have you all.

indi Harrison cluster fed from 6-10 every night up until very recently. I'd offer him a dummy around 8/9ish and he'd usually take it and drift off instantly!

Hi lillian! Glad you're home

potato we went to Dr's today on health visitors advice and poor fella has an ear infection - no wonder he's been feeling off we have antibiotics for him. 3 prescriptions in 8 weeks is insane! poorly munchkin

jan we also gothe so many blankets! They're lovely but only been used a handful of times! We have 2 knitted for the pram to alternate, and 2 for naps downstairs/car seat as we also use grobags!!

audrey you're amazing! Coping so well. Everything will right itself just give it time it'll all be a distant memory soon

Oh thank god you have said about the cluster feeding with BF miley & soda! Made me feel so much better, I thought I just had a demon child soda she screeches if I take her off the boob ( this is usually after her 10th feed and my nipples feel like they will drop off) but I know now just to keep feeding and pacifying her with the dummy. My mum sometimes has to take her in to the other room away from me so she can't 'smell' me and she'll calm down straight away!
Hopefully it won't last too long, at least now I know it's a normal BF thing.
Sorry to hear about poor little Harrison's ear infection! Poor baba, sending him lots of get well soon wishes miley x

Audrey you're doing so so well, keep positive. You and your baby are fine and that's the most important thing!
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Lillian* glad you're home and settling in to your new little family life. Sorry to hear about the tearing and how uncomfy you are, I hope you are on the mend very soon and make sure you rest as much as you can.

Indi I've got nipple shields for the evening feeds! They've been a total lifesaver! Amazon prime strikes again

Sorry about Harrison's ear infection Miley. Out of interest how did the doc diagnose it? Did they look in his ears?

soda yeah, she checked his ears (quite difficult as he's such a little wriggler!)and he also has a temperature. Pretty convinced I'm going to have to express every feed for him as oral thrush is so common with antibiotics in babies. Looking forward to that

Hope Alexa's injections go ok. It isn't pleasant but she'll forget all about them within 60 seconds. If only that was the case for us mums!

My little snuggly, poorly baby must be feeling better and catching up on lost milk as this is his 4th feed in 1 and a half hours and even after 48 hours of hardly nursing, he's still managed to put on 8oz this week so is now 11lb 14oz at 8 weeks. Not bad considering he should only be 4 weeks

Sorry to hear you're struggling Nev. I second other suggestions of maybe trying to feed not holding Bodhi. With him sat supported on pillows facing you maybe.
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Leonie* I full intend to read your blog asap. Keep talking to DH and don't be afraid of asking for extra support if your feeling down. It's completely normal.

Stardrey so so sorry to hear this. I really hope it all gets sorted without court. Glad to hear you're bomb proof and little Stardrey is doing well though.

Miley poor little mite. Get some probiotic drops for Harrison hybrealky help with counteracting antibiotics. We used biogaia. I hope he's more himself soon.

Soda I've pm'd you about meeting on Friday

Bloody app causing another bold fail

Hey all, long time no see! I was on the TTC thread waaaaaay back (literally feels like years). Lots of names I don't recognise and some I do! Congrats to everyone on the thread for being knocked up and for anyone who's popped already! Apologies for going totally awol but I struggled to manage work, a body that didn't really cope well with being pregnant and a very active thread!
Im on maternity leave now- I'm currently 38+4 and feeling like this baby will never arrive haha. Hopefully I can keep up now to entertain myself, hear all your stories and hopefully stop myself going insane!

Argh another manic week at work means I haven't logged on here at all even to read! Feeling like I've got a bit more energy this week though so coping with work stresses a bit better or maybe I'm beginning to care less

Thanks for the support re the uninterested in-laws. Trying to keep in mind it's their problem not mine as someone said which is actually really helpful.

Pink I think they will be more excited after the baby arrives, but still think they will be very hands-off as they already are with me and DH. I hate to say it but I think SiLs 2 children will always be their number 1 priority... we shall see. It's all still probably further complicated by the fact that other SiL is having fertility difficulties. PiLs have always had much more time for both SiLs than my poor DH, not really sure why.
Well done on moving Evelyn into her cot! Glad she seems to like it so far.

and to all those struggling/who have struggled, you are all such amazing women and mothers.

Oh Audrey I'm sorry, what shit timing. Surely if it was self defence it's not going to actually go anywhere? Must be so stressful though and the last thing you need. There will be a way forward, just difficult to see right now. Great that midwife says your bomb-proof though

Hope things heal quickly for you Lillian Glad you're home

Had a nosey at the blog Potato looks great! I feel like I will be reading all your reviews avidly as I have no clue where to start/what to buy when it gets to that point! Got 20 week scan in a few weeks and I think if everything is well I may allow myself to buy a little something, just a cute outfit or something!
We've been so busy with all the work on the house (which is going to continue for the next few months ) that I'm not sure when we're actually going to have time to start thinking about baby things properly!

I feel like I should write down these lists of baby things somewhere, as I know down the line I will be asking the same questions and so much knowledge and useful suggestions on here

I'm beginning to feel like it's a loooooong time between 12 and 20 week scan to know if little pip is ok in there. They didn't listen for heartbeat at my 16 week appt (apparently that differs area to area?) and I've not felt any movement yet. Although I'm only 18 weeks tomorrow so I guess it's still pretty early for a first baby? Can anyone else remember when they first felt movement? I'm sure it's all fine, just being a worrier!

How are the other earl(ier) preggos doing? Fishy, Moose, Damson?

Hi jam! Good to see you! I recognise your name from TTC threads

bunch thank you for the tip! I never gave them a thought. Where did you get yours from? Will pop out to get some tomorrow.

Little man is a bit pained but is kicking about in his nappy having a nap after his dose of antibiotics and calpol. He's had a huge poo too so hopefully that will make him more comfortable. He is also feeding so much better (just about back to normal) so here's hoping he's recovering quickly.

marmite that's a shame about your in laws. I felt movement about 18 weeks but it took me til about 20 to actually convince myself it wasn't just wind!

I'm back from docs with Alexa. The injections were awful to be honest. She screamed and screamed and I cried! I felt so horrible We're having lots of cuddles now.

Marmite I can't remember exactly when I first felt movement but I do remember asking at my 20 week scan if it was normal to not have felt anything and they said it was. I'm guessing it was probably around 20-21 weeks but it also took me a while to figure out that it was baby moving and not just wind

Haha thanks Miley and Soda! I will be on alert for any wind like feelings
Glad Harrison is on the mend, sorry to hear Alexa's jabs were a bit traumatic hope you're both feeling better after cuddles

Oh soda don't worry - I cried too. She will have forgotten all about it by now poor little girl.

Had my first 'he's massive for his age' comment today off a slightly rude lady in m&s cafe. She nearly dropped her jaw when I said "yes he's only 8 weeks. I obviously have double cream for boob milk'. She came across and looked at him and just said 'how old?'. OH said '26'

Miley I got mine from Amazon but health food shops should sell something. Glad to hear little man is on the mend. Haha at your OH. Some people are odd. I was at the Drs for my smear last week and was asked "how
Old". I said 30 as I totally thought they meant me.

Marmite I felt movement ridiculously early- 15 weeks, and DH felt him at 19 weeks but I'm far from the norm. My midwife wasn't going to listen in until 18 weeks if I remember rightly but I asked at 16 (and at 12).

Oh soda sorry to hear they were awful, our first ones were too but 12 week jabs were much better. So looking forward to tomorrow.

Marmite - I got to hear the heartbeat at 17w but didn't feel anything until 20w. Fingers crossed you feel baby sooner!

Potato, Miley, Soda, Canters, Pink and Indi - thank you so much for the information on what to buy. We need to shopping. Everything for a vanilla baby is white, white and white

Hello all, sorry I dropped off for a bit. After the step b I then started to get light spotting for the 2 weeks leading up to my 12 week scan and I managed to convince myself it had all gone wrong. But it's all good, little one wriggling around and right on track. Now I'be got over the shock that everything's ok and it's real I'm back!

I'll have a proper catch-up before replying to you all.