Due in February 2017 - thread #9

[twocatsandatoddler]

New thread - hope everyone finds this! I'll try and post the link in the old thread if it will let us go over 1,000 posts.

London my belly button is looking pretty flat too! Last time it never popped right out, but it stretched to almost completely flat.

Has anyone else on second or subsequent pregnancy noticed a different linea negra from last time? I had a really strong dark line with DS that went right up to under my boobs by this stage. This time I don't have one, or maybe a really faint one if I squint!

friendly that sounds similar to my situation, there have been some months I haven't worked at all, and what I've seen seems to suggest we would be entitled to something, as long as we have worked a few hours in at least 13 weeks since October 2015. Had assume do i wouldn't get anything extra until it was mentioned on this thread!

London yes my belly button was a proper 'innie' and you could hardly see in it. Now it's really wide and open! When I have a bath it's funny because it fills up with water like a little pond! I can't get the water high enough to cover my belly now either so I have to keep splashing myself like a beached whale! Lol!
Lying in bed and being kicked by little'un today. Such a nice way to wake up!

Thanks everyone for the info and advice. I'll call the midwife today and ask for the forms just to make sure there's no problem!

London same here, belly button vanishing by the day. Bump has grown loads in the last couple of weeks. Now also seriously off-balance and even clumsier than usual!

Anyone else getting round ligament pain? When I walk my bikini line pulls and hurts! It's so crazy being pregnant sometimes! But this time last year we thought we might never have a baby so I'm really enjoying it in an 'enduring' kind of way!

My belly button has gone flat too. So have the wrinkly bits left over from dd
Twocats I don't have a linea negra but I didn't last time either.
Fingers crossed we get something Marjory!
This baby is a night owl. I hardly feel anything during the day but I get movement late at night and early morning. I got up to dd at 2 am and 5am last night and the baby was kicking away both times. I hope her pattern changes before she's born!

sparkles Yep I've been getting a bit of that this week! I'm finding it harder to keep getting up and down off the floor during toddler bedtime ("I need a drink/socks on/socks off/another wee/etc")

Morning everyone! I feel like it's ages since Iast "spoke" in the thread - I must've been busy, although I have kept up!!

MATB1 - I met with my HR yesterday, but hadn't really thought about what to do re returning!! So I was very proud of my leaving plans, but they were like, "and.... when are you coming back?", at which point I was like....ohhhh......

I'd like to try for the year, but the OH is fretting a bit about money - understandably, of course. I think I may end up doing what it sounds like some of you are doing/have done with older kids and use leave to start getting paid again, but not actually return to the office.

Sparkles a massive YES to round ligament pain pulling my bikini area, and pelvic girdle pain sitting centrally under my bump and by my pubic area. I went to a drop in clinic at my local hospital on Tuesday and got some exercises to first try, to strengthen all the muscles in that area. Also got told to do pelvic floor exercises as much as possible, to keep from leaking later...lovely!

I had a crap night's sleep though. I woke up around 3am with my mind racing ... I've made the probable mistake of reading some of the threads in the Pregnancy section of ladies who seem to really be struggling with feeling low and so on. I feel fine, but in the dead of night the idea that my hormones might send me on a massive emotional crash at some point got stuck in my head and of course I then started worrying about the what ifs! Ridiculous I know, but both physically and emotionally, this pregnancy thing is a huge journey!!

All the rules are so confusing and I've found my employer wasn't that familiar with them and gave me bad advice at times. Here is the official government guidance:

1. At 25 weeks pregnant you have to formally notify your employer of your intent to take maternity leave. This may need to be in writing depending on your company's policy
2. 28 days before you want to start receiving statutory maternity pay you also have to notify your employer of that you want SMP
3. 21 days before your SMP would start you need to submit your MATB1 form

I think a lot of companies instead of getting things bit by bit ask for everything at 25 weeks so they can wrap up the work on their side. However legally you are fine as long as you've at least done the formal notification about your leave by 25 weeks.

Oops - here is the link for the gov guidance

www.gov.uk/maternity-pay-leave/how-to-claim

kiki you don't have to set anything in stone now - I think you just have to give 8 weeks notice so if you go for a year and then decide you need to return early for financial reasons you can do that as long as you give notice. Work might prefer to know plans now, but legally you don't have to decide for definite at this stage and they can't put pressure on you to decide.

Hormones definitely go up and down. I was really struggling 7-10 days ago to the point where I thought I had depression but have been much better this week so it might have just been hormones doing strange things. I'm keeping an eye on it, and DH has been instructed to force me to make a GP appointment if he thinks I'm not coping.

This SMP confuses me... especially as ur work or most work gives mat pay etc...

Anyways I know it's all real and happening but sometimes do you just feel as though ur going to wake you and it's a food baby lol...

Shell I love the idea of a food baby! Sadly, I love my food so a year ago my belly basically was a food baby!! .

twocats yeah, you're right. I still feel fine - I just slept badly which always makes me miserable the next day - but I think for me personally there's certain threads I should step away from on MN because they'll just have me worrying or feeling bad. It's awful that some ladies are feeling so dreadful, but unfortunately I am one of life's comparing-types, so I always tend to focus on something to worry about.... and if everything's fine, believe me, I'll make up a selection of worries based on something I've seen or read!

Your employer pays you maternity pay (which has to legally be a minimum of SMP if you qualify). They then reclaim the SMP amount from the government as a rebate so ultimately the SMP amount you receive is coming from the government rather than your company.

My company pays more the SMP for most of the 39 weeks (I get 28 week full pay) but they still get the SMP portion recovered from government through their filings with HMRC if that makes sense.

London is correct - the SMP portion of any maternity package is reclaimed by the government. The employer still pays employer's national insurance on it, but that's the only cost to them, along with the cost of your accrued annual leave and bank holidays (accountant here!). I think legally they also need to continue your employer's pension contributions until 39 weeks - I could be wrong there!

I think you are right about the pension bit twocats

I wouldn't know any of this but both DH and I are the first people in our companies to use the government's Shared Parental Leave policy and we've had to do a lot of reading into it to understand how the entire system works.

Our HR departments were totally clueless about how it should work as both our policies entitle us to above statutory pay during our respective leaves. My DH must have meet with his HR team at least 7 times to talk things through and they repeatedly had to go back and get more legal advice.

Now we are both know more than we ever thought we would on shared parental leave and maternity stuff

Shell, Kiki - my DH is one of those annoying people who eats like a horse and stays thin. Whenever he has a big dinner, he demands I give him the maternity pillow as "the food baby needs it"

Fenella that made me 'lol' food baby!! just had acupuncture - feel amazing! I was getting a bit stressed (don't know if you noticed! Hehe) so had to reset myself!
Firm came for MA today! Turns out the dimwit I spoke to on the phone could post a letter after all (well done him!) so will give it a go and hope for the best!

Sparkles it would be funny if I wasn't having to compete with both DH & the dog for the pillow every night!

Just wondering if anybody has come across either woodland themed curtains or a changing mat? I want to do the nursery as woodland themed and have found gorgeous wall stickers and pictures I want to get but all I can find is jungle themed!

Btw my DH's work accepted a photocopy of my mat b.

I think that's right about pensions Twocats and London. You shouldn't lose any of your benefits except pay when you're off so you're entitled to be paid pension contributions and also accrue holiday.

Friendlyghost that's right on both pensions and holiday. A good thing to do is take your pension as a cash payment while on maternity leave if you find you are struggling financially.

Also any private healthcare, dental care, car allowance etc continues the same.

Cannot concentrate today! I am really missing being able to drink copious quantities of strong coffee any good tips for getting over the mid-afternoon slump without caffeine?

oneiroi - god yes, me too! Can you go out for a walk?