Due February 2017- thread #6

[Readyfortwo]

See below for previous chatter:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2697188-Due-in-February-2017-thread-5

I have no sign of a bump yet, and it's bothering me. A friend who knows reckons she could see my bump in a Facebook photo at the weekend, but I know it's just fat, just like it was before I was pregnant. My anxiety is back too, due to lack of symptoms. I feel a bit stranded after the regular scans in the first trimester. I think I'm going to end up booking a private scan.

Shell fill your mind with positive stories instead . Also beware of "friends" telling you horror birth stories either of their own or people they know. My supposed close friend told me a pretty unpleasant birth story of one of her work colleagues shortly after I'd had my first scan last pregnancy. I thought it was really unhelpful of her, not to mention unkind. I mean really, that's the last thing I'd think of to talk to a first time mum about. One thing my lovely doctor told me which I always remember is that he said, pregnancy and birth is a natural physiological event so try and stay calm and not worry too much. (I know it's hard not to worry though )

I agree that this trimester seems like we've been stranded!
We have booked a private gender scan for the 13th so that should put my mind at ease until my anatomy scan in October.

I think I can feel baby move, it's feels like someone ticking me or scratching slightly from the inside, however I'm also thinking it could be like gas? Not that I'm gassy (tmi) just trying not to get ahead of myself I guess.

Flipper I know exactly how you feel, I said basically the same thing earlier today - this trimester is meant to be the nice, symptom free phase, but it's exactly the lack of symptoms, wait for 20 weeks and no feeling of movement/large bump yet that are worrying... it's a tricky situation to trust that everything's ok and not try to make ourselves over-anxious (hug)

Those worrying about bump size - you might find this gallery of bumps by week reassuring. There's such a huge variation at this stage - at 14 weeks, there are people with full on bumps, people with nothing and people with a bit of a podge/small bump hybrid (like me).

www.countdownmypregnancy.com/photos-babybump/

If people tell you scare stories and they have more than one child I just reply 'why the hell did you do it all again then?' That usual shuts them up!!

The way I look at it if child birth was that horrendous no one would have more than one child. Yes you can have problems in different pregnancies but even people who had horrific emergency c sections go on to have more kids most of the time so I don't listen to them

shellbell my birth was fine honestly, I'm not worried about doing it again. Might change my mind nearer the time though but really ignore the horror stories!

Do pepole still have appointments with their gp inbetween midwife visits? No mention of it this time so not sure if they've stopped doing it or it's because I'm a second timer and can apparently be left to just get on with it.

Kiki the reason the NHS don't scan more is because even if there was an issue, there's very little they could do about it at this stage. I agree with that as a tax payer. However, I'm so grateful the consultant I met with gave me an extra scan on Monday just as a kindness woman to woman!

Your DH can't possibly understand. I broke down in tears this morning during a routine catch up with my boss. The hormones and stress of pregnancy are unreal. In my defense, my sleep was horrible last night as I kept getting anxiety over the flea issues we are having -- first world problem I know!

Mine was really awful but I'm still wiling to do it again so it was worth it. I'm also aware of not scaring first time mums too much so always point out that what happened to me is highly unlikely to happen to them. I also think it's unlikely to happen to me again so I'm confident about having a more straightforward birth this time, whether 'naturally' or as a planned section.

I actually don't mind the horror stories. I don't like that people sometimes hide the less pleasant parts of life. Knowing what can happen and how things can go wrong rather than giving me anxiety makes me feel better prepared.

I know people who were 100% convinced they'd have dream births in a pool who had to have emergency c-sections and they seemed extra traumatized because they felt like failures as their dream birth plan wasn't possible.

For me, its just healthy baby and healthy mom. I couldn't care less how the baby is born and I hope I'm mentally prepared for what can happen. Also, hearing the consequences of certain choices etc makes me feel like I can potentially advocate for myself better.

I'm just that kind of person though and I imagine that people who share horror stories do so because they wish someone had prepared them for what might happen better.

With that said, the majority of people I know with kids had very straight forward births, including at home and many with no drugs. Its entirely probable :)

I've not seen my GP once this pregnancy, everything's been done through the hospital.

I'm going to talk to my husband about booking a private scan. He did say he didn't think I'd make it to 20 weeks without booking one, I was hoping I'd prove him wrong though! I have no reason to think things aren't OK, it's just my history makes me anxious.

My friend who told me the horror story has no children herself and the smile of glee on her face while telling me about it told me she was just trying to scare me for her own odd reasons.

Everyone is different though and I totally get how you feel better knowing the facts London. I'm a bit inbetween, I already knew quite a lot with my mum being a midwife but I also quite like the idea of ignorance is bliss with some things . I actually had my eyes shut for pretty much all of my labour haha.

London I'm not sure how far along, I think perhaps 8 or 10 weeks. It's come second hand through my brother so I don't want to ask too much.

I might book a private scan, it'll be worth it I think!

Topmammy I am also a bit ignorance is bliss at times. I'm sure my eyes will be closed. I'm grateful I won't be down the business end for sure!

Your friend is a bit weird it sounds like though I guess some people like scaring other people for fun!

Dotty I've got a bump/podge hybrid going on too. It's not obvious in most of my clothes as I wear loose fitting tops generally anyway. I know baby is still lower down as there is a small bump there but I'm a bit confused by my sometimes hard tummy too!

Marjory The care plan in my notes mentions some GP appointments - two or three alternating with MW after the 20 week scan I think.

Does anyone know whether there is another scan after 20 weeks? I thought my MW said that as a first time mum I would have another one at around 32 weeks but I don't know if I imagined it because that isn't in the plan!

I'm finding the toned down symptoms tricky as well; I liked the reassurance of inevitable evening nausea! Now, I'm still getting some every now and again but nowhere near as bad. I don't feel full of energy yet; which people kept promising! I'm already planning to book a private scan, probably around 17 weeks... Only 13+6 so even that seems ages to wait. Must learn patience.

Natsch there's not another scan after 20 weeks unless you have a specific reason for one.

I got one at 32 weeks last time to check the position of the placenta as they said it looked like it might be low at the 20 week scan (it was fine).

Other people I know had them at 32 - 36 weeks to check the baby's growth as they had risk factors.

This time I get one at 23 weeks specifically to look at placenta function as I had a (potential) issue with my 12 week bloods. I may also get a growth scan at 32-34 weeks. But neither of those are routine if no issues or concerns.

Ceecee so very sorry how far along was she. Sad

Still catching up on messages here.
Thanks for the m&s leggings tip I will check them out.

Ah marjory then I misunderstood! I see, so she wants a bubba but they are not trying. Gotcha. My friend has been trying for quite a but now and they didnt get the best news from tests

My cousin touched my belly which was weird because I dont have a bump! I dont like it!

My and DH's favorite girl's name is my mothers name. This doesn't bother him but I partly wonder if it would be a bit strange. Its more of a concern now as my mom will be helping out with childcare so it will be exceedingly obvious.

His second favorite name is my favorite aunt's. That's fine but our absolute favorite boy's name is her husbands name and I think it would be weird to name both our children after them and I love the boys name and wouldn't want to lose it just in case.

Just looking to gauge reactions as my mother's name is really lovely and I've always thought about it as a girl's name but now that we are having a girl I'm having second thoughts!

nat, it depends on the trust. Last time I just got the 12 and 20 wounded scans as standard, but then had another at 23 weeks to get further measurements they couldn't at the 20 wk scan, then another at 30 weeks when I had reduced movements. This time around my hospital has changed trusts and I'm getting a 36 week scan as standard, it's offered to every pregnant woman in my trust, but they don't have to have it.

Diva, I would've preferred an emergency section to my DD's birth, but in the end my head knew we wanted more than one child- so we are having another. A major part of that decision was knowing that I will be allowed to choose to have a planned section this time. A lot of mums of two I know who had a tough first labour and birth went on to have further children because statistically the next ones aren't as difficult. So I think it's a bit unfair to just assume that a traumatic birth can't have been that bad if someone is willing to have more kids.

That being said, shell, for every horror story there's a birth story that's just as straight forward and easy as you could imagine. First time around its maybe a bit less likely, but I do know a couple people who seemed to just sneeze their babies out, or who weren't sure it was labour and then turned up at hospital already 8cm dilated ().

Evening all! I'm another one feeling in limbo waiting for the 20 week scan! We bought an angel sounds Doppler but the mixed comments have made me too nervous to try it, and as its my first I'm not feeling any movement yet I don't think (15+5).

To top it all off, I stupidly read the chapter on episiotomies in the baby book whilst I was on the tube. BAD MOVE - was nearly sick twice!!

Fenella Try the Doppler! I've got the Angelsounds one too. It's amazing to be able to hear. It took me a while to find the heartbeat at first. I tried initially with a full bladder seeing as that's what they say for the first scans but I couldn't hear it until I went to the loo! I can find the heartbeat quickly now and pretty sure I'm also hearing baby move around/kick. It makes sort of sploshing sounds! I have to stop myself from using it all the time.

Fenella I had an episiotomy. DD had her hand on her head so i couldnt quite fully dilate properly. She flew out superman style after I was cut! Before labour that was one of my biggest fears I have to say but when the time came I was far too exhausted to care you just want baby out. My mum stitched me up afterwards... now that was a bonding experience haha! She did a proper good job though, can't tell I had one at all now.

fenella I had an episiotomy too, don't remember them doing it and didn't care at the time even though the idea made me feel sick before hand!

17 weeks today and I think I've felt quite a lot of movement today! A lot earlier than with DD and the anterior placenta.

Fenella, I had in my birth plan 'absolutely no episiotomy unless baby in distress!' Guess what? She got effing stuck and no manner of moving around into 'better' positions would do a thing and she was in distress, so... My main reason for not wanting one was that a large number of higher order tears (3rd and 4th degree) happen BECAUSE of episiotomies as they can tear further.

But the thing is, they're not going to just do one for the hell of it- it doesn't make their job any easier to do one, so it's really one of the many things you can't get worked up about before hand because it won't really be something you can goose or control.