Babies due in November 2016 #5

[FuzzyOwl]

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Yes your commute should definitely be a factor. Mine is 2 hours door to door each way and even though I already work from home Monday's and Friday's by the time Thursday rolls around I'm not fit for a lot.

I'm feeling really well in myself and coping fine with pregnancy generally but I find I really need the chilled Friday pace to catch up with myself/sleep in and relax a bit.

I'm stopping at 35 weeks. I'm a teacher and the physical nature of the job plus late nights working really got hard last time. I'm doing 5 weeks in September before I go off.

I'm a bit jealous spotty as I'd like to go earlier but I can't afford to. Last time I had Ofsted at 36+ wks just before I went off and it was horrendous!!! At least they aren't due any time before October!!!

I was wondering about leave too. Im aiming to stop at 33 weeks but I am really struggling at the moment and am concerned how stress and workimg conditions are affecting the baby.

I'm currently working 45-50 hours as a restaurant manager and my midwife has advised me to stop working so much, but it's really not that simple as there is noone to delegate my responsibilities to and it's too busy at the moment. They suggested reducing hours but that's not really an option. I'm on my feet and the rests I give myself can't be really last more than around 5-10 minutes as I'm needed.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do..? My midwife has suggested speaking to my doctor about painkillers as my back and rib pain is pretty awful. If I share my current state with him is he likely to sign me off, or could he just give me written notice that it is necessary to alter my working conditions?

Hi

Jade - have your work done any kind of risk assessment of the workplace? I think they have to have one that covers risks to pregnant women and if you raise issues that arent already covered, they have to take appropriate action. See here: www.hse.gov.uk/mothers/faqs.htm

I talked to my gp this week who similarly told me I should work less, travel less etc. she didn't put anything in writing but luckily my boss is taking this advice seriously.

It's really tricky though, isn't it? I need to work till 38 weeks and can't just offload my responsibilities until then. I am going to start taking lunch breaks though.

Good luck.

Hi Jade, I think both are possible. When they sign you off, they have to two boxes one that says unfit to work and the other that says fit to work with adjustments or something like that.

Stretched is right though, they have to do a risk assessment to make changes to accommodate you otherwise they could be breaking the law. 50 hours a week sounds absolutely mad to me, you must be exhausted.

Take care!!

Jade that sounds really tough. The form that GPs use to sign you off sick has a box/section to say a change in working conditions is required and they can put details down if they want to/you ask. In my last pregnancy I had this form issued so I could work from home, I could do my job but couldn't continue with the commute. Obviously working from home wouldn't be an option for you, but maybe have a think about what could work and discuss it with your doctor?

My risk assessment is all filled in and up to date but I look after health and safety at work... My line manager signs it off but ultimately I am in charge of RAs and their content.

I think having it in writing that I need to adjust conditions would be helpful, so hopefully my doctor could oblige. I could realistically drop to 40 hours but I don't see what else could be adjusted to allow me to continue as my job is 90% hands on and I have to be present.

That sounds really tough. I have no advice to offer but really hope you find a solution that suits you... it's so hard trying to balance pregnancy and work, isn't it?

I'm self-employed and have work booked until 1st Nov when I'll be 36 weeks. At the moment I'm very full-on, although working from home which makes it loads easier. But from around mid-Sept I'm not going to take on any new work and just stick with my booked-in projects, so I should only be working 3 days a week until I go off.

For me the tricky bit is when to go back... all my clients are pestering me about it at the moment but I just don't know how I'll feel/what I'll want to do! I'm lucky enough that I don't have to go back if I don't want to, but I feel very torn about giving up the business I've built up over 5 years. At the moment I've told one client I'll pick back up in March but that's subject to change.

When is everyone else planning to go back? Four months seems very short but I'd only pick up one client which is about an hour's work per day, which at the moment seems manageable but, who knows! I'm clueless really!

I, ah, don't actually work much at all with my first pregnancy I had planned on going off bang on 29 weeks, after taking 2 weeks annual leave from 27 weeks, as my job at that time was 50+ hours a week with 18 month old twins and a 6 year old. And now I'm nearing almost 24 weeks I have no idea how I would have managed that, so my hat is well and truly off to all of you. I have been taking bookings, but I won't do anymore full days (10+ hours) and no booking with an under 2.5 year old. We're only in the country for another 2 weeks though and I won't work at all after the move. I do need to get the paperwork in for my mat allowance next week though!

Last time I had 18 wks total mat leave. This time it's more complicated - actual mat leave will probably be similar in length but it will turn straight into sick leave for me to have my surgery to remove my brain tumour and I don't know how long the recovery period where I'll be signed off work will be! I'll go back when I'm better (Though I'm hoping they won't want me to rush back so I get to drag out my maternity a bit )

I'm taking 12 months as a combination of annual leave at the beginning, 10 or so months of maternity then using my accrued leave at the end but I'll probably go back full time or ideally 4 days per week to a hectic role with a big commute.

Jade I can't remember how far along you are but if you are hoping to reduce hours remember that your company maternity money is calculated based on your pay the 15th week before expected week of childbirth so around week 25.

Thanks for the help all, I'm calling the doctor today so hopefully he can help in some respect. The midwife did mention asking for co-codomol for the pain but I don't really want to rely on pain killers for an extended period of time.

I'm 24+3 but I get full pay for 6 months when sick so it wouldn't affect maternity pay thankfully. I'm planning on taking around 10 months too if possible, with leave and holidays combined. I'm also considering a career change on my return to work as mine and my husband's combined hours aren't really manageable with a baby!

I hope all goes well with the surgery LittleGrey, hopefully you receive plenty of recovery time.

Just to let you all know - Mamas & Papas have a 10% discount code running at the moment. Code is EXTRA10.

I also used the £15 gift card I got for spending over £30 last week so have just saved £40 on my Snuzpod (and a pack of sleepsuits), which was on sale in the first place!

I'm going off at 32 weeks, I can't wait! I'm already slacking, I don't think I've been at work before 10.00 for the last five months. Luckily my team are very supportive.

In the waiting room for my 24 week scan, anxiety and blood pressure rising. Eeek!

Good luck, Cockles - sure everything will be fine.

I don't think I get a 24 week scan - does anyone in the UK? I don't think I have another scan now unless something is wrong/needs checking? Just bump measurement and movement tracking, is that right?

I've got one more consultant scan at around 33 weeks. We requested it so that they can take a final look at blood flow etc.. They've been very reassuring that my daughters condition was not genetic but I'm pleased they are also very supportive of our concerns and are willing to provide any extra assurances we feel we may need.

Hmm, I'm beginning to think that working until 38weeks is pretty unusual but we need as much dough as possible to grow the nest egg.

We're planning on returning to UK in about March after a decade in Aus and the only way DH can get a UK visa is if I have a FT contract. It's pretty crappy as were usually both self employed but it's the only way I can be close to my family. I guess I feel the same as you Smells? I'd love to have more time off with poppet but I don't think I would be happy this far away from "home".

Is anyone feeling like they can only handle one thing at a time? I'm getting fairly frustrated with my brain, I'm so used to juggling lots of things at once but no longer. Just practising calming myself down a lot at the moment before my head explodes!

100% agree Bollyroo about only coping with one thing at a time. I've bought a few more things this week, which has made me feel a bit more in control. But my big problem at work is having a big department and lots of people making requests/trying to get hold of me. It's just an exhausting though very rewarding job. I feel like the only way through is to keep calm, carry on and count down the days.

Oh Bolly, that is tough. I know visa requirements for the spousal visa are tough on the resident partner. I hope you guys can make it work as I can imagine how devistating that would be to be kept from your family. Is there no way your DH could get a job here where he could come on a sponsored work visa? DH is coming out to Aus on the 457 (I think that's the one!) as we can't quite justify spending the $7k on a spousal visa for him

My scan this morning was absolutely brilliant, cervix is nice and long (3.5cms), the blood vessels all look good, no sign of funnelling or anything. She monitored it for a good few minutes which was uncomfortable but SO worth it. I'm so so happy I had it done. She said the risk of my going into preterm labour are virtually nil, so I can breathe a huge sigh of relief (and find something else to obsess over now )

Scan was fine, phew! Copper no it's not routine, just because it's twins.
Bolly good luck with the job situation. Extra stress is not needed at this time.
Smells good to hear about your scan results

Great news on successful scans, smells and Cockles! Sorry Cockles, forgot you were having twins. I was with my friend's twin girls (5 months) all day yesterday, they're the best. Exciting times!

Many thanks for the thoughts about Next2Me & Snuzpod. I think my main concern with the Snuzpod is that our bed is a really high 4 poster & it won't go high enough. Also not sure how much I will move the baby around - think I might use a carrycot for sleeping during the day - is there any problem with doing this?

Many congrats on the good scans - esp. twins. Cockles - are they identical or fraternal?

My husband & I are unwrapping the secondhand pushchair we bought on eBay tonight - it's an Easywalker Mosey. It feels very momentous as it's the first thing we have bought (apart from a pair of socks) after 5 years involving losing 5 babies. Wish it had come in a rainbow colour!!!

Another question - I saw a nice changing bag in TK Maxx yesterday - how useful is it to have a changing bag???

Great news about your scans Cockles and smells.

Changing bags are usually wipe clean and waterproof inside corinne with an insulated pocket for bottles. However, any large bag will do the job although changing bags often have straps that are specifically designed to fit on prams and make it easier to transport them.

Last pregnancy I went on maternity leave the day after DD was born and had planned to be working for another couple of weeks but she was a fortnight early. This time I plan to go off at around 31 weeks as a toddler, sciatica/PGP and severe bump pain is really unpleasant. I'm currently making use of annual leave though so my two lots of maternity leave will also run back to back and I won't have to return to the office.