babies and bumps mixed thread -May babies are coming!

[cantbelieveImquittingcoffee]

Here's the new thread, for bumps and babies before we all graduate together!

Hi ladies,

Although I haven't been posting I've been following your progress and good to see that babies are all (I think) here and doing well. So exciting.

Half term is challenging with inlaws here from abroad for a month and both older children at home as well.

Frozen my heart goes out to you every time I read your post. I've been there and finally gave up BF after three weeks of everything going wrong. Baby had tongue tie which wasn't picked up at first. We paid to have it snipped so that we could have it done quickly but it didn't work. As he was unsettled by it (really thick tie) he cried for two days and so I couldn't really express which took the milk supply down dramatically. We had so many people trying to help that the midwife said he had developed 'breast aversion' never heard of this before but he wouldn't take expressed milk because of the negative association. Finally after three weeks with the help of the midwife I gave it up. Don't know why I needed the approval of a professional to give it up but kept feeling like I was letting the baby down.

Now baby is 1 month old, sleeping well, putting on weight, starting to respond in little ways. I'm so glad that I gave up struggling. I fed my first two but have learnt every baby is completely different.

Don't know why I needed the approval of a professional to give it up but kept feeling like I was letting the baby down. This makes total sense to me - in my case it's because I've crazy high expectations of myself and pressure myself. I find it nearly impossible to 'be kind to myself' so having someone reassure me would remove the weight from my shoulders. A more confident person would recognise that it was their decision how to feed and move on but BF/FF is so emotive with so much guilt attached to it, it's ridiculous. It stops people making decisions based on a baby's needs in fear if doing the 'wrong' thing in the eyes of other parents/professionals/strangers.

Frozen - youve tried so hard for so long, you need to have time enjoying your lovely wee one, not struggling with what should be a warm and loving experience of feeding them. You know your baby, you know what she needs, trust your instincts, there's no one in this world who can give her better care than you so believe in yourself and don't doubt your choices I hope the clinic goes well, keep us posted.

29 - totally normal in my experience. DS sometimes sleeps for a couple hours, wakes to feed then falls asleep again for another couple hours but by contrast this morning he was hanging off my boob every ten minutes! Comfort, nutrition, tiredness, growth spurt - who knows! But he needed it so it was there. Don't worry too much about 2/3 hourly advice. I'd say DS is roughly every 1.5 hours/2 hours. First son was the same at this age. By the time they are older they have 'bigger portions' and go for longer between or are more established in routine. I think as long as they are getting 8(I think....) in 24 hours and seem happy and content after feeding generally then you're ok.

Hi all. Sorry to hear things are difficult Frozen. I completely what you mean about seeking professional approval. It's crazy that we make ourselves feel so guilty. I am mixed feeding our 11 day old and had a midwife today describe the formula as artificial feeding which made me feel really crap. I am still suffering with my episiotomy. The stitches have burst and now on antibiotics. If no better then I have to see the gp on Monday and possibly be referred back to hospital. As a result of the pain, infectionand anaemia my milk didn't come in properly so have been supplementing with formula. I feel guilty about it which I know is stupid. Still feeling very emotional and weepy.

So sorry to hear about difficulties with feeding. Try not to feel guilty. You must make the decision that is right for you and you are the one caring for the baby. If the mother isn't happy then baby will not be happy. Take each day as it comes, follow your instincts and you will make the right decision.

Congrats gunshot. Hope you are enjoying lovely cuddles.

Feed every 2/3hrs is not good advice especially when it comes to bf babies. It's outdated and not biologically normal. Feed on demand. Some days (most in the first few months) this will feel quite constant as babies bf for more than nutrition. It's tough as we don't have 'the village' of lactating women to help so we have to do it ourselves but worth it if you want/can.

Sorry to hear about feeding problems. I don't have any advice as I have always had straightforward bf experiences but you need to do what's right for your family whether that's bf or ff and ditch any guilt!

Also re: toddler nap advice. I tried to go nap free again today and he fell asleep in the car at 4pm and is still asleep. Going to be a late one in this house - oh dear! When we are back to normal ish next week in going to aim for a 1hr nap at a reasonable hour and see how it goes.

Frozen and anyone else having feeding difficulties - just remember that all your hard work so far has helped your baby in their early days but you can't sacrifice your sanity/sleep/nipples forever so if it's not working for you it's not working (for whatever reason!).
We have settled into the BF a bit better now as my sister (who is trained as a BF peer counsellor) gave me a few pointers last weekend so we have ditched the nipple shields for about 75% of feeds (still use them at night or when she is extra fussy), which is a massive improvement on before when I was using them 99% of the time. I can't believe this little bug of mine will be 4 weeks tomorrow! We have had a couple of really/quite bad nights this week but she is also smiling now which is lovely!
We did start something new and exciting yesterday though when she did what can only be described as a milk volcano all over me and herself - I had to change everything I had on (dress, cardigan, leggings, bra!) as I was completely covered as was she! It was a bit distressing as she looked quite freaked out (it followed a MASSIVE burp...) and she did another one like that this morning though not quite as bad, and I saw it coming so avoided getting covered this time! Is this normal and ok or does it mean she has something going on with her tummy I wonder?

Cant I don't think it is anything to worry about but try feeding her more upright. This will help if she is getting reflux problems. Have to do this with mine because of wind but same principle. Oh and keep her upright for a while afterwards and see if it makes a difference. I would let health visitor know. They might have some tips.

Thanks everyone, it helps to know I'm not alone! We made it to the breastfeeding drop in and as suspected DD has tongue tie. It's a relief to have an explanation for the pain and difficulty feeding and to know it's not my fault. Now to sort out getting it snipped and hope it doesn't take too long as can't cope with this for much longer!

Sorry to hear your experience army we are considering paying to have it snipped too as I'll have to wait at least until Monday to get a GP appointment and that's not even guaranteed and then will have to wait for the referral. Sorry to hear it didn't work for you. DD also struggles and often refuses to take my expressed milk from a bottle.

notro that's awful of your midwife. Sorry to hear about your stitches. It's so all consuming looking after a newborn that it's difficult to take care of yourself too. I also have anaemia and the feeding issues have taken up so much of my energy I keep forgetting that I've got a third degree tear and stitches to look after! Hope you feel better soon!

Thanks for your kind words ice and tristan I feel so much pressure to bf particularly when I see friends doing it successfully and my mum bf me for a year and is also putting pressure on to continue!

Had our day 5 midwife check today and DS has lost 6.5%, I thought it would be more so very pleased. Tongue tie due to be snipped on Monday so I'm hoping I can carry on through the pain until then.

Cant big vomits occasionally are okay, but if she starts projectile vomiting after all feeds take her to the doctors, it's at 4-6 weeks that children with thickened tummy muscles (pyloric stenosis) get symptoms. Would have to be more than a couple of vomits though!

frozen - good news (and bad news, iyswim) a out tongue tie - here's hoping for a swift appt. And about anaemia - spatone, spatone, spatone, it's brilliant, sorted my iron levels out and made me feel soooooo much better.

cant - massive spews are what alerted us to reflux. Does she gurgle, choke, 'chew', struggle when laid flat?

I took my DS to a&we when he vommed twice like that as a newborn pfb much? and they looked at me like I was mental. He was fine by the way. But obviously if it carries on do get it checked probably not in a&e though

Thanks everyone! I actually bought some infacol yesterday ice as a discussion on the Facebook group about silent reflux had familiar symptoms - gave it to her before both night feeds last night and she went immediately to sleep after feeding without fussing and making big weird grunty noises that she is normally making so I think that could be the answer!
DP had a mad shouting fit at me last night about me having left loads of baby stuff laying around and I still haven't forgiven him (he hasn't apologised...), plus I have the start of a v sore throat and baby was a boob monster last night, so happy Saturday to us!!

Was the infacol before or after the vomming? I found it made DS very pukey but gripe water was good for grunting and windy evenings. DD is starting to get a bit windy and uncomfortable as she is a boob guzzler but I'm trying to hold off giving her infacol and wait until she is 4wks so she can have gripe water. It a bit ridiculous as she is so different to DS and may not have any issues with it.

Also failing on the dummy front. I want her to have one as she gets windy and wants to feed for comfort which makes it worse. We have tried cherry teats, mam and avent. DS was an ardent dummy refuser until 4weeks so I have just over a week to crack it!

Plus dummies are the best invention ever for all manner of baby/toddler ailments/emotions/issues etc. Sorry for the multiple posts. I kept remembering stuff to add!

ODog is there a dummy that works for stressed out emotional mummies too?? DP is cruising for a bruising this weekend with his Frenchness Neanderthal opinions and 1950s housewife expectations so I could do with a helping hand!
Infacol was pre-feed with no sign of vomming and does seem to have helped make her more settled so I'm putting that down as a win so far! Have been trying with a dummy since she was about 2 weeks and sometimes she takes it, sometimes not, so I will keep trying!

Some of my NCT group have recommended dummies too. DD loves to comfort suck all evening which is a nightmare. Ive read that you shouldn't introduce dummies to bf babies before 4 weeks due to the risk of nipple confusion while bf is being established? Not sure how true that is though and DD has had bottles of expressed milk and formula as well as dealing with nipple shields so she's probably totally confused now anyway! Any dummy recommendations?

Dummies for mummies come in a bottle shape and are labelled up as wine or vodka depending how bad you need it

Wow lots to catch up on! Had that many visitors haven't had a chance to even look at my phone.....or express....and now my supply has gone! Tried 3 times this morning already and only got tiny drops think it's time to give up for my sanity! DS is much more settled on formula too which is a bit heart breaking that my milk isn't enough for him! Not stressing myself out over it though. Any tips for getting supply going again?

MIL here AGAIN and it's really starting to grind on me, she's coming 2-3 times a day and is already pestering me to let her have DS2 over night.....he's only 1 week old!! We have a wedding this afternoon so she is currently watching him downstairs while I get ready look on MN

Sorry to hear about the poor baby struggles with reflux etc, I don't have any advice or experience to help unfortunately

DS1 (5) has been fantastic with DS2 but his behaviour elsewhere has been a bit questionable, he's so whingy and I'm torn between discipline and cuddling him too! How is everyone getting on?

Tired and grumpy - post lunch slump - baby puked down himself and over our bed as I struggled to get toddler to nap. It's the final straw.

I had them out all morning by myself at a local street fayre, baby in sling, toddler on "reins" - think bouncy castles, icecream, stalls, stage with entertainment, crowds of people. I managed to drive there, park, walk into town, "enjoy" the fayre, stop in at a shop to buy lunch stuff, BF in car on the way home as DS was screaming blue murder, get home, make lunch, get toddler down for nap.

What did DH do in the house? (he was waiting in for a new tumble dryer) Hoover? Mop? Wrote thank you cards? Tidy the toys and books? No no no. He sharpened his lawn mower blade.

Oh god ice I'd have been MURDEROUS after that...what planet do they live on?! DP and I have kissed and made-up now and had a nice lunch (while I BF/ cuddled baby of course...) and my parcel from Jojo arrived with new slightly less hideous BF bras, washable bra inserts and BF accessible dress bought specially for DP's taste - so am happy with that! Heading out on an adventure to visit friends early evening, planning on taking the enormous pram on the train plus sling for when it's needed so that should be fun!

Oh and DD is 4 weeks today - I can't believe it! The time has flown but also just can't get my head around the fact she was ever not here...

Glad things are looking better cant. Sorry that others are having a stressful day. I've just had a huge lunch cooked by MIL (who is now washing up) while FIL sorts out the garden.

Everything don't beat yourself up about breastfeeding. A fed baby is more important.

Does anyone have any tips for where to buy nice (but affordable) breastfeeding bras with a bit of support. I've gone from a B to an E cup so not really used to finding things that need support

I don't know if the ones I bought would suit you Parsnip - much better for me by the looks of it but I'm "only" in a D cup (never thought I'd hear myself say that!!) - is the bravado seamless BF bra on jojo maman bebe.