April 2007 - Ladygarden? Ladytropicalrainforest more like

[Katy44]

CFK - I couldn't resist!

God I wish they had a spell check on this site.

Have decided that I am spending way too much time on MN anyway, its a bit like therapy though, I feel as if I am talking to my computer sometimes, god knows what poor DP thinks?

........just realised I AM talking to my computer oh dear................

Opinionsrus already have 2 vibrators!! He's working nights now anyway so is only here 2 nights a week. Its more him not wanting it that im sulking about. He's always wanted it even when we split up or when i was bfing and got really fat and felt completely unsexy so its abit of a shock to the system that he doesnt. I think its actually a good thing cos it shows he's more emotionally involved now, blah blah blah. That doesn't mean anything when my hormones kick in!!

And i did worry abit before first labour about the risk but once it was all happening i didnt care!! And I really didnt get on with pethidine. 2nd time round I was at home on my own with dd all day having contractions (dp at football in bristol ), didnt go to hospital til about 10 pm and then managed on just gas and air til waters broke at which point i dropped my gas and air just when i needed it most and dp coulnt get it back for me as i was stuck on my side at the time so he was holding my leg in the air for me!!
So this time im expecting it to be even easier and quicker really and am now worrying that im being too laid back about the whole thing and if i do have any complications ill be totally unprepared for it think i need to do some reading again just to remind myself of all my options and things.

And def agree re spell check. And someone should invent something that reads through my posts and understands exactly what i mean and takes it and makes it into something lovely and eloquent that gets my point across perfectly rather than the garbled crap ive been coming out with lately!! I keep previewing my posts thinking god that sounds such a mess but I cant think how to put it better

I had an epidural.
I was induced as ds was 10 days late. Everything was going really well, just on gas and air. Then everything seemed to stop at 9cm dilated. I was still having strong regular contractions, but for nothing was really happening for about 4/5 hours. At one point they even told me to push a bit to see if that would dilate me some more.
They needed to give me syntocin (sp?) to help to make the contractions stronger, and thats when they recommended an epidural. Looking back, I think the staff knew it would end in assisted delivery. So I had the epidural. I think though, because I had gone through most of the hard work myself, I could still feel all the sensations, just none of the pain. Still ended up in theatre with my legs in stirrups and this suction device between my legs!

tbh, afterwards, I felt like I had let myself down, and kept questioning myself - why couldn't I go to 10cm on my own. Had a really good chat with my mw for this birth, and she has been fantastic, very reassuring, and she said that it's good to talk through all these feelings, so we're all prepared, and I don't feel pressured into anything.

Sorry if I've scared any first timers, but when I look at ds, I realise that I would go through all again to have him

As a first timer I can honestly say I really appreciate all the birth stories...think it's helping me mentally prepare IYKWIM.

Am so & . Just found out BIL and his wife are expecting, which is fab. DH rang PIL and MIL said she was really happy at hearing their news then went on to say she still dissapproves of us having one . She also said how their baby will have so many more opportunities than ours cos they have more money.. She thinks cos we live up north all the schools are crap and because i'm not working that we have no money (not true at all) She was going on about how will our LO have music lessons ...err if it's anything like me it'll be tone deaf with no sense of rhythm. ARGH. I just can't believe someone could be so insensitive.

Maveta

Really didn't mean to give you nightmares. Medical intervention aside, the one thing I couldn't have done without was dh. Just him being there right by my side made everything so much better iyswim. Its usually me being the assertive one, and asking all the questions, but he questioned every single thing that was done. Not in an arsey way iyswim. He told me afterwards that it was seeing the woman he loved most in the world giving him the most precious thing, that "flicked a switch" [very soppy and emotional emoticon here]

Even if the hospital doesn't recognise birth plans, maybe you and dh could write one, just so you're both on the same wavelength when it comes to the birth. Really helped with me and dh. Considering his memory is rather crap, he actually remembered a lot of the stuff

nuttygirl - at your mil. Where do these women get off saying stuff like that!

Just had scary thought though......one day I could a MIL. Still, at least I'll know what not to say...

nuttygirl, I can´t believe she said that! How come parents just don´t know where to stop sometimes?! God I hope that when I am in that position, no matter how much I disapprove, I will learn to just keep my thoughts to myself!!!My mum is pretty big on thoughtless comments but luckily ever since my wedding she´s managed to keep them to a minimum.

runnyhabbit..your post was so sweet and really reassuring, It immediately made me feel good just to think ´yeah, after all, dh will be there with me.´

Right, now i really have to go to bed. hasta mañana...

Birth experiences (assuming Maveta has gone to bed with a good chick lit and a box of choccies - mmmm.....).

I had an induction with my first, which led to an epidural, which led to lots of intervention. It does seem to be standard that one follows the other. In this case DS1 was 18 days late and the induction really was necessary. I also had quite a large episiotomy with shedloads of stitches.

However DS2 got to 12 days late and I held out against induction (more confident 2nd timer )! He was born at home in a water pool with just gas and air and not so much as a tiny tear despite being 10lbs.

DS1 was also posterior (back to back) and I am told that with each subsequent pgcy the likelihood of the baby getting "stuck" in this position reduces, as they usually have more room to turn themselves around, either before or even during labour.

So I would say, if you have had an epidural before, aim to do without this time, and if you go overdue hold out as long as you feel happy against an induction.

Here endeth the birth opinion of Birdiebump....

at your MIL, nuttygirl - what a thoughtless thing to say. I think I'm going to have to write a guide to myself to read in 20 - odd years time "How to be a NICE mother-in-law"! Being a mother is scary enough without the prospect of being a MIL!

To reassure first timers, despite the tearing I had a very good first birth experience. I stayed at home for as long as I could and used TENS then hopped in the bath when that stopped working. By the time I got into hospital I was fully dilated. Pushing dd out took a while and was the sorest bit but it all went fine and the stitching didn't hurt.

Was planning a homebirth this time but that's gone out the window as baby might need surgery after birth so the safest place is going to be hospital, sadly.

Am so tired this morning...didn't sleep much last night what with MIL being nasty and baby bouncing on my bladder all night! I would just ignore her but we're meant to be going to DHs brother's 30th birthday party in early Feb and it's stressful enough without having to worry what she's gonna say when I'm there. DH has said that I needn't go but I feel like I look like the bad person if I don't go. Also would really like to see DHs bro & SIL to congratulate them on pregnancy and everything. DH was really upset last night, he's worried I'll leave him cos his parents are so nasty . Told him not to be so silly cos I love him to bits and surely he knows I'm more stubborn than that! It's just a bit of a shock really cos I thought I'd sorted it all out with them. I really don't want her to start on me at the party cos I'll either cry, chuck a hissy fit or thump her one!

Really sorry to rant, my parents are coming today and I need to get it all out before they get here.

Morning everyone - nuttygirl at your MIL - what a cow. My MIL has yet to ask how me or the baby are.... DH thinks discussing names once counts - but I disagree .

MIABT - don't know that advisor - know most of them by name - I used to be an advisor in the past - and still work for Onelife sometimes (owned by same person). Would be interesting to see how you get on. I gave up because my boys were out of nappies and felt it was time to move on out of my baby phase

Feel like have jet lag this morning anf my spd is sore - off for snooze and bath.

Oh and meant to say if I'm not around for a few days it's just cos I'm busy with my parents!

Hope everyone's ok and sorry to put a bit of a downer on the thread.

I would talk to your parents about it nutty - I tell my parents what MIL says - just to be reassured its not me going mad. You could do with some support at the moment and at the party - so give her a wide berth and keep dh close (((hugs))))

Personally I would b*tch slap her.....

Or just let it go over your head.. I know its easier said than done, but you know that you will be great parents, and that your LO wont want for anything so it really doesnt matter what she thinks... A friend of mine went through a similar thing...her MIL went on about how her BIL and SIL were going to make fantastic parents blah blah blah... not so far down the line they ended up going through a very messy and costly divorce...

Ok so ANOTHER first timer question.... sorry if TMI...

Is it "normal" {{{whispers}}}.... for my boobs to be leaking a bit?? 24 weeks today? Ta ladies!!! xxx

Thanks, I do tell my parents some stuff she's said but I don't like to tell them everything cos I think they'd take it personally. A lot of what MIL criticises is what my parents and me are...does that make sense? My parents never had a lot of money but I didn't go without anything and they always cared about my happiness, whereas MIL thinks we should be earning more money cos we couldn't possibly be happy on DHs earnings...it's that sort of thing that's always the problem. My parents are really proud of me and I know they're already really annoyed with PIL. I think if they find out what she's said this time they'll be ringing her and telling her whatfor! Then PIL will refuse to come to christening and it just makes more hassle. I think actually that DH is realising just how bad they are, I was v when he shouted at her on the phone. He seems to have realised what effect it could have on a LO and is getting very protective of the bean .

GMM - mine sometimes leak too...usually at night when I'm asleep. I think it happens cos I squash them a bit!

Well - we're here for you nutty xoxoxoxoxox

GMM - bit of leaking is normal - mine do a little bit but not so much as to soak through bra - cotton breast pads are worth investing in. I have 3 pairs of organic cotton ones and a box of disp ones for when baby comes - would prefer to use the washable ones - I found the disp ones a bit itchy last time.

Must get off mn and have snooze .....zzzz

It was just a little bit when I got out of bed, when I wiped on a piece of toilet roll it was about the size of a 5p?? God I cant belive I'm writing this... think I'm gonna go and hibernate somewhere cos I am turning into a hairy leaky hormonal troll!!!

Just wait til 15 doctors and midwives have stared up your fanjo and you have squirted your FIL in the face with breastmilk - you will never suffer embarassment again! (Nutty's revenge popped into my head then!)

I'm with Geordie MM re your MIL Nutty - what a total cow! I really do not understand how she thinks she has any right to make comment - she should be supporting you no matter what you do not bringing you to a downer - GRRR

BBCFK - Your baby days are restarting again though - do you think you would do the lollipop thing again? I might come back to you if I may re the Onelife nappies when I have been to my Nappicino thingy and made my mind up...(assuming it doesn't confuse me further!)

I have astinky cold - am not impressed....better be cleared up by Friday for my weekend away or I will not be happy! Poor DS woke up screaming the housedown at 1.45am. I got such a fright - I thought it was the noise of the wind (weather here is terrible right now) but on questioning him he told me "Sarah get me with the hoover"....so he has obviously had a bad dream...Sarah is one of the Nursery Nurses at his nursery!

So - it's persisting down with rain, my friend who was coming tovisit just cancelled and I have a 2 and a half year old and a tired me with a stinky cold...what am I gonna do to keep him amused today!
He is currently watching aBob The Builder DVD...will get the PlayDoh out for a bit after that and if I am up to it will take him to a Soft Play centre this afternoon after the shopping arrives...hopefully that will be enough to keep him occupied! He looked sodisappointed this morning when I told him he wasn't going to Grandmas or Nursery today but was with me.....

No cramp last night, managed tojust head it off each time it was about to take hold!

I havent got a father or a FIL to worry about so thats a bit of a bonus... have 4 nephews ages between 11 and 16 though... cant wait to breast feed in front of them... I reckon they will break the land speed record....

Haven't made notes today so here's hoping I remember everything I meant to say (no chance!).

Hotlipsmummy - yes, we will be using the Anna cot this time too - sorry!

Katy44 - Not sure I have all the info re annual leave / maternity leave and I guess it probably would be reasonable to assume that you could carry over anything you weren't in the end able to take (although they probably wouldn't have to do this if the leave had already been booked and in the system IYSWIM). I seem to remember from last time that there is some rule wherby your maternity leave has to be in full weeks - so for example I worked on the Monday, had DD Monday night (early labour!) and then couldn't actuall get paid for my maternity leave until the start of the following week. I am a bit hazy about all of it though, so your HR dept may know more.

The New Year seems to have focussed all of us on the birth doesn't it!! One thing I was going to post was whether people had had positive experiences with TENS and were planning to use it this time? I had a very quick labour last time, with only gas and air, but if this one is longer, I would consider getting a tens machine. TBH, I am not keen on epidurals or pethidine as I'm a bit of a control freak! I'm also on blood-thinning drugs which mean they won't give me an epidural if it's less than 12 hours since my last injection.

BBCFK - a friend has given me a printout on aromatherapy in labour, and I am interested in using it this time. I can't find it at the moment, but when I do, I'll try and post some of the stuff. I went to a class on aromatherapy in my last pregnancy, and we had to sniff various oils from cotton wool. One of them was Clary Sage, which I know you have to avoid in the first trimester, and I still haven't totally ruled out the possibility that I may be very sensitive to it and it started my labour off! I will steer clear for now, but may be taking a surreptitious sniff at about 37 weeks!

MIABTM - I recommended this to CD yesterday, but I'll say it again as IT REALLY DOES WORK! I have so much less cramp at night if I circle each ankle 10 times clockwise and the 10 times anticlockwise before settling down to sleep.

I can sympathise with those missing the drink - me too! Wasn't Christmas awful! DH bought me some alchohol-free red wine which was truly horrible, but also some alcohol-free Becks which is quite nice. I got paranoid before Christmas that I was drinking too much (a big glass of wine, three times a week is probably pushing it a bit), and have tried to cut down now to a small glass, twice a week.

Right, off to do some work now. Only 45 mins on Mumsnet so far this morning