July 2016 (7) We're halfway to meeting our little bubs

[allthegoodnamesalreadytaken]

Hi all started a new thread as the old one was getting almost to 1000. We're a very chatty bunch! Happy Friday

Hey ladies, back in the land of the living. Four hours at hospital we ruled out early labour or infection so now seeing the physio to help with all my pain.

Overall positive but the hospital was very under staffed and ladies in labour everywhere. Really made me nervous. I know it wasnt their fault it was just so understaffed.

you&me - happy hirthday. I hope your day gets better and you are spoilt later.
I had a long morning at the hospital. I now have to go weekly to see my consultant as they are worried about a few things. They have also moved my blood pressure appts to fortnightly. So even more trips to explain to my boss. The up side was that because they were concerned they did a quick scan of the baby and I got to see them again. I also have four additional scans booked in so even more opportunity. This is unfortunately on top of the other appts and then I have my mw appts too. I will basically live there. Trying to stay positive but disappointed. They have also suggested an elected c section. I am open to it but grateful for advise for anyone who has been through it.

Anna I have an identical dream about idyllic trips to the park, with the newborn in a stretchy wrap and DD walking or in the Maclaren. In reality...yeah! Please let it not be too impossible!

small so pleased you feel a bit more positive! Will the cream take effect straight away or is it a cumulative effect? Fingers crossed it helps and so glad the GP knew what it was and was sympathetic!

YouandMe happy birthday! It's my DD's today, too!

Well done on getting through your GTT, allthegood!

Puzzle hope the physio sesh is good and you do get a referral, it's chuffing miserable feeling this PGP malarkey.

Thom that's a lot of appointments! Keep thinking about the extra scans, I guess. No direct advice about elcs but the folk I know who've had them have had good, calm experiences that definitely had upsides.

Beautician urgh, heartburn is properly grim. I had it severely at the end of last preg and the start of this one so I'm living on borrowed time I think. Already got my prescription Gaviscon lined up! Did you suffer in previous pregnancies?

So I had a GTT last time, but I can't remember how it works - does everyone have it, or just certain groups??

dats 25 + 2

Oh and Bluebell meant to say, hooray for some manners about train seats. I do wonder sometimes if people are worried about being PC or unsure if someone is actually preg and causing offence and that's what stops them asking - but I think that's because I can't believe folk can actually be that damn rude!

photographer did they think the foof pressure was PGP/normal positioning stuff or what?

Just seen I should be getting paid when attending antenatal appointments and I havent been more hassle for work funnnnn

small I am so sorry that you have PUPPS - what a pain Hope that the cream helps somewhat. And sounds like at least you will get to meet your baby early :)

photographer glad things went well-ish at hospital. Hopefully physio will help.

Thom it might be worth making a thread asking about elective c-sections in the main pregnancy forum? You are bound to get loads of people there who have experienced it.

Fingers crossed for all of you having GTTs - I do not envy you!

So, I have finally made a proper list of baby stuff and started going through it. Already battling with DH, who would like to 'make do' as much as possible. For example, I want to get these washable baby wipes, which look fab and are super cheap at 25 for £13... DH wanted me to look up how much terry towelling is, and make them instead. (My foot went down on that one and I won.)

Other things he wants to make do on:

• Using an ancient wicker baby basket from his parents, complete with ancient mattress (it will be really hard to find a new mattress to fit as it is twice as long as 'modern' moses baskets).
• Getting a 'best fit' mattress for the cot we have been given second-hand, which I think has curved ends (I haven't put it together yet but certainly it looks like it's going to be curved). I have tried to explain that this is a suffocation issue. He thinks we can just 'plug the gaps' with blankets.
• Breast pump - he wants me to hold off buying one until the baby is born, in case I have trouble breastfeeding. This I do actually agree with.
• Newborn clothes - I want some for my hospital bag NOW. He says we shouldn't buy any as we will be getting hand-me-downs from people. (I have been quite firm about needing them soon, so we are now going to his brother's place in two weeks' time to pick up their spare newborn clothes.)

I also really want to buy a new car seat as the only one we've been offered is eight years old. I think he may be coming round to this, but I'm not sure.

Is anyone else having this kind of trouble with their partner? It's really upsetting me, especially around the mattresses. I tried to explain to him tonight that if our baby died of SIDS and I hadn't got a new mattress I would never, ever, ever forgive myself - or him - but I still don't think he got it...

28 + 0

bluebell that sounds like some serious organisation! I know people who've used the cheeky wipes and swear by them. They've said that the wipes are amazing. I'm planning to use disposable ones to begin with due to the volume I think we're likely to go through. Like the sound of them for later though - especially for hand and face wiping.

Hope you manage to talk your dh round on a few things. Like you, I'm not keen on the plug the gaps in the mattress approach. We're going to end up using the Moses basket I slept in as a baby (another wicker contraption) as my parents still had it up the attic. They got it down at Easter and it's still fine (even the mattress looked/smelled ok somehow, possibly because it's a plasticky coated waterproof one that they'd kept in a bag all these years). You've got to be happy with it though.

bluebell sorry he's being a bit tight. You really need mattresses as you say due to SIDS risk. Keep an eye out as mothercare often do 30% off. New born clothes are so affordable I really don't think you'll be spending loads getting the essentials and you want them in new I think? I'm very lucky DH leaves me to it but he's useless in other ways!

thom I had an EMCS last time but can assure it was fine. Just bear in mind you will be very sore and unable to do much at all for the first two weeks. So batch cook food, make sure you've got people around to come and be with you, clean up etc. You can't even lift a kettle after it ( it's fab, you just sit and feed all day!) get some huge pants that will sit over your scar and have leggings to wear home jeans will hurt on your scar to start. There are some great threads in childbirth I've been reading ahead of my ELCS. Please ask me anything! I think eliz had one too so I'm sure she will have some advice.

small thank goodness you're being looked after now, you poor thing. I really feel for you. X

anna - thank you, that is reassuring. Hoo did you find nursing? My biggest concern is not being able to look after the baby properly. Saying that, I am incredibly lucky to have very supportive parents and in-laws.

Oops, I should have also said hubby!!!

Thom sorry to hear you'll have to have so many appointments. As you say though with lots of scans there's lots of opportunities to see your baby.

Small, glad your gp is sorting you out. Hope it relieves your itching quickly.

Youandme happy birthday!

Bluebell hope your DH let's you get a few things. Thankfully mine has just left me in charge of getting stuff. He's been doing the nursery as his contribution. Although you've made me think about the safety of stuff we're getting that's 'pre-loved' - MIL is giving us a moses basket that all her grandchildren have used. Think it's about 12 years old but hoping that'll be OK with a new mattress?

Survived my two flights today without sickness. Had 3 seats to myself for both of them!

Second+ time mums.. im getting so fretty about not being able to breastfeed! Is it really as hard to work out as people say? Im also seriously stressing that im gonna end up with a section or going seriously overdue (both unfounded fears)!! Did you have an inckling that you would be early/late and were right?

Went to gp yesterday as have been in agony with my back and was told baby felt like they wrre transverse (horizontal) - it was breech at my 24 week scan - but this afternoon my back has felt 1 billion times better AND my stomach has changed shape AND i can feel alot of movement above my belly button for the first time so i think baby might be head down now...

God knows how long itll stay there though!!

Morning bluebell!

Just quoting you below so I can add my tuppence worth:

• Using an ancient wicker baby basket from his parents, complete with ancient mattress (it will be really hard to find a new mattress to fit as it is twice as long as 'modern' moses baskets). WE HAD EXACTLY THE SAME ISSUE - MASSIVE HEIRLOOM MB FROM HIS FAMILY. WE GOT AROUND THE NEW MATTRESS ISSUE BY FITTING THE LARGE SLEEPYHEAD INSIDE WHICH WORKED A TREAT AND OF COURSE THE SLEEPYHEAD IS PORTABLE AND IMHO VERY VERY GOOD VALUE FOR THE FIRST 6 MONTHS SO IT COVERS LOTS OF BASES.
• Getting a 'best fit' mattress for the cot we have been given second-hand, which I think has curved ends (I haven't put it together yet but certainly it looks like it's going to be curved). I have tried to explain that this is a suffocation issue. He thinks we can just 'plug the gaps' with blankets. IS THE COT A COTBED? IF SO, I WOULD ARGUE THAT IT WOULD MAKE MORE FINANCIAL SENSE TO LOOK OUT FOR A NEW COTBED/MATTRESS COMBO (WE GOT OURS FROM OBABY / MOTHERCARE IN THE SALE FOR ABOUT £170 ALL IN) WHICH WILL LAST YOUR LITTLE ONE UNTIL THEY'RE 5.
• Breast pump - he wants me to hold off buying one until the baby is born, in case I have trouble breastfeeding. This I do actually agree with. AGREE. I BARELY USED MINE (2ND HAND).
• Newborn clothes - I want some for my hospital bag NOW. He says we shouldn't buy any as we will be getting hand-me-downs from people. (I have been quite firm about needing them soon, so we are now going to his brother's place in two weeks' time to pick up their spare newborn clothes.) AS ANNA SAYS, NEWBORN CLOTHES ARE V CHEAP. I'D GET A NICE 5 PACK OF SLEEPSUITS AND VESTS FROM M&S/H&M/JOHN LEWIS FOR A TOTAL OF ABOUT £15. HAND ME DOWNS WILL BE A (VERY WELCOME BUT NOT PARTICULARLY HELPFUL IN THE FIRST COUPLE OF DAYS) MISMATCH OF SIZES/COLOURS ETC. I GOT STUFF FOR 2 YEAR OLDS! CAN HE NOT STRETCH TO THAT?

I also really want to buy a new car seat as the only one we've been offered is eight years old. I think he may be coming round to this, but I'm not sure.
AGAIN, I AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS: SAFETY & ERGONOMICS RESEARCH HAS CHANGED A LOT IN RECENT YEARS. HALFORDS DO V GOOD DEALS AND HELP FIT THE SEAT.

thom nursing was fine in fact because you can't move after the section it's better as you just sit and feed. I developed an infection in labour and felt really unwell for weeks after but managed to breastfeed. I actually think for me it was less hassle than getting out of bed and making bottles etc. When I had DD I knew five people through groups etc that managed to successfully breastfeed. Three of those were sections of that helps to reassure you?

primary I won't sugar coat it breastfeeding is tough especially for the first 4/6 weeks. But after that it gets easier and by months three it's a breeze. What o wasn't really prepared for was things like cluster feeding. It's when baby feeds pretty much non stop to stimulate your milk supply. Im not kidding they're attached to you to constantly and you won't believe how much they need to feed! That said it normally only lasts half a day or a day, and then it's back to every few hours. In the beginning it takes baby a long time to feed about 40 mins. You then only gave about an hour and a bit before they want to start again so my tips are get some good box sets on the go! I'm excited the olympics are on early August for this exact reason! Again this doesn't last forever and they become very quick at feeding as they get stronger. When it all gets better it really is brilliant. I loved just leaving the house with just nappies, the weight loss and just the ease of it general. You can stop them crying straight away by popping them on your boob! That said try have an open mind. I was very much of the opinion if I can do it I can if I can't there is formula which is just as good. My baby latched on straight away and I had no issues with latch or infections which can prove really hard. My DD does have multiple food allergies and reflux so it wasn't a walk in the park for us but my advice is take it one day at a time and never beat yourself up over it. Also get some pre made bottles of formula as their will be nights when you just need a few hours sleep so your partner can help.

Sorry that was mega long but I wish I had looked into feeding more before i started! There is a great website called KellyMom and I'm sure the other second time mums will add their advice.

Off work today but DD didn't sleep much last night so sacking off our trip out and having a relax / loads of tea!

Thom - Semi elective c section person here...mine was a little more dramatic because I had to go under general anaesthetic after a failed induction at 39 weeks but it wasn't off-putting enough for me to refuse a c section this time around. I was able to care for Teddy no problem in the first couple of days (nappy change and feed is basically all they need) but make sure you have support as anna says to look after YOU!

primarynoodle - breastfeeding is such a personal thing. i was in pieces when we gave Ted some formula on day 2 because my colostrum wasn't enough and he was screaming the ward down. Then I was able to majority breastfeed for the next 6 months but he was also happy on forumla, a flexibility i really rated...you will find a path that works for you. i always think of my nct gang (8 mothers - 6 started out breastfeeding, only 2 carried on beyond 6 months) and all have fantastic babies.

it's like the whole birth/labour thing - it occupies a disproportionate amount of your headspace at this time...meanwhile this time next year you'll only think of your very active 9 month old and wonder what all the fuss was about!

Oh and primary I went overdue had to be induced but had loads of issues including not dilating so ended up with a section. It's hard to explain but you're in a zone at the time and I was so calm. It's worse for your partner watching I think! I thought I'd go on time as mum and sister had but there's just no knowing! Going overdue is quite miserable I just ate loads of cake to cheer me up

Morning all

Not much happening here apart from my mat cover dropping out so bit stressed as to what will happen now with work.

Bluebell - we've got family hand me down cots and moses basket. I can't remember the website but there's a company that make ANY size mattress which is what we did. Got the crib one for about £20. Found it via the magic of google.
And yes you really should get a new car seat unless you can be 100% sure the second hand one has never been in an accident.

Primary - as people have saod bfing is hard in yhe beginning and cluster feeding is crazy. I also found weight loss didn't happen as when he latched I got the rage and munchies. But I am fluffy anyway. But I am glad I did it and will do it again. It was lovely when we got the hang of it.

As for stuff bluebel, i got a new mattress for my moses baskets from ebay for a couple of quid. We picked up a new mattress for our cot from kiddicare and supermarkets are great for cheap kids clothes and nappies. Also check out amazon for nappies and Babywipes.

primary, I think the thing about breastfeeding is that no one really talks about it much if it went well and they had no issues. I think many women find it fairly straightforward. It is worth knowing that the hard work is all front-loaded in the first 4 - 6 weeks, as Anna says. It's useful to know in advance where to get support with breastfeeding - often midwives and health visitors are not very expert. There should be a breastfeeding drop in regularly, and organisations like La Leche League and NCT usually run support groups as well.

27+1

Agree with all the excellent advice on bf. I found it tough to start with - tougher than I'd expected, but I was really determined to give it my best shot. The simplicity of it appealed as much as anything - I'm too lazy to want to make bottles and cart them about. In all honesty, I don't think I ever got the warm, fuzzy bonding thing - maybe I did, on a subconscious level - it just felt like the best thing for her and most practical for me. We kept going for 22 months but it's a relief to have a break before the next one.

There's a school of thought that says everyone should be able to bf given enough perseverance and desire to, but ultimately you have to dig in and stick to your guns with whatever decision you make. If you find its too much - or even if you don't want to try - then that's ok. The stuff about nutrition and development and 'breast is best' etc is statically only relevant in the less-developed world with poor access to medical care and formula. So that's not necessarily an argument to bf.

People always have opinions, but what business of theirs it is what you do with your norks and how you feed your child always bemuses me. I have a friend whose mother and MIL were pressuring her to STOP bfing after a year when she didn't want to!

Your baby, your choice - if you want bf support, it's out there in many forms whether that's a drop-in, health visitor, online or whatever - KellyMom is bloody brilliant. Most people get there in the end, if it's what they want to do. But you just need to wait and see and try to be as open minded as possible because you just don't know how anything will be and how you will feel until it happens. I found that approach quite liberating first time round - which was a surprise given how much of a control freak I am

Oh, I love you guys. I feel so much better for having read all your comments this morning. I'm so bloody glad I joined mumsnet!

tams - really glad to know that you know someone who swears by the Cheeky Wipes. I think they look superb and I am going to order some today. I'm going to get the kit which includes a 'clean' box and a 'mucky' box to soak them in - there is an offer at the moment that with every £15 you spend you get 5 free wipes, so with the kit costing about £40 that should work out at exactly enough. I think you might have a point about getting some disposable in for the newborn stage, though - I will do that, too!

Anna I shall keep an eye on Mothercare offers, thank you!

Bel I think the pre-loved baskets themselves are okay (I will be giving mine a wipe down with warm soapy water and leaving it out in the sun for a day), it's just the mattresses that you ought to be a bit careful about. As others have said, though, you can probably get a replacement mattress quite easily. The pre-loved basket I'll be using is 36 years old!!!!!

primary so glad the baby has moved for you. I was realllly struggling with mine on Monday - he had been moving what felt like non-stop for seven days, and although I haven't had back pain yet, he'd got himself into a position where he was really pushing against my tummy and I felt quite sore every time he moved. I looked it up online, and when I got home from work I spent some time kneeling on all fours - so that my bump was hanging underneath me like a hammock - and he did actually rearrange himself into a much more comfortable position for me. It's been a lot better ever since!

Ellizardo - thank you! Now, we have a potential offer of a Sleepyhead from my brother-in-law and his wife as their baby will just have outgrown his by the time our baby is born, but do you think that will be the same issue as a used mattress? I guess so... Yes, unfortunately the cot we've been given is a cotbed, so I can't use your cunning idea! I am going to put it together today, though, and see what the actual situation is in terms of mattress shape. And you're right about just getting a set of basics - I have a friend who works at John Lewis who has offered me her 25% discount (which takes everything down to normal shop prices, haha) - so I think I will just get a multi-pack of sleepsuits and be done. And I think he might be coming round on the car seat, thank goodness.

mini - thank you, I shall look into mattresses. In fact, I think I will ring my MIL and get her to measure the basket mattress today, so that I can get one ordered and made in time!

Going thanks also for all the advice. I hadn't thought about Amazon!

I feel much better, so thanks everyone. I have a nice quiet day at home today, as a bit of freelance work I was supposed to be doing has been delayed, so I'm going to make the most of that with a bit of online research and shopping.

What do you guys recommend about car seats? I can't imagine I'm going to get DH to go top-of-the-range (although to be fair I earn more money than him at the moment so maybe I should be a bit more pushy ). I have had a look at stuff online and it looks like a combination car seat is the best value for money, as it lasts longer?

Oh, and baby got hiccups for the first time last night! It was so cute!

Also, people who are worrying that they might not be able to breastfeed - I started to worry a bit about this too, as I had heard that it can make babies stronger / more intelligent. Then I remembered that I was exclusively formula-fed as a baby and I am fit, healthy, and have BA, MA after my name - so it can't be that bad...

I am short, though .

Oooo and I just looked up the second-hand Sleepyhead issue, and apparently they can completely come apart for machine washing, so it is absolutely fine and dandy to not buy one new. That's good, then!

Bluebell - for sure try the Sleepyhead 2nd hand. it needs to be fully washable believe me! i padded it out with blankets and gro bags etc..though in the summer you may not need to. Great that you have access to one so there's no big outlay of moolah. Then the suggestion of custom made one online for not too much sounds like an ideal alternative/addition. 25% off JL?!! NICE ONE! Use that for all its worth!

Car seats - wow, as always overwhelmed with bloomin' choice. We went for a Maxi Cosi Pebble i think which lasted Ted about a year (he's a big baby) because it was compatible with our Uppababy pram...we found it indispensable to be able to 'slot' him from car to pram chassis without waking him up/getting him out of his car seat.

He's now in a new model called a Graco Milestone which should last him until he's 12!! You could get that one too btw as it's suitable for newborns (but doesn't fit on a pram chassis).

The only other thing about clothes is looking online at Amazon for 'new born baby boy bundles' for next to nothing. That may appeal to your OH's sense of thrift!

Bluebell - newborn Ted in his sleepyhead. It's not in the MB in this photo but it has handles either side so you can plop him in quite easily. That's also a handmade blanket by yours truly (!) hence the holes, ha ha!