March 2016 Babies #9 - we're on the final countdown!!

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Thread 9!!

I decided to exercise some self control last night and skip the toast! Was up once for the loo but otherwise didn't sleep too badly which is good.

maybe I'm just starting to jot down some notes for my birth plan too. One tip that my NCT instructor gave was to try and frame it in positive rather than negative language so eg rather than "I definitely don't want an epidural", say "my preferred pain relief options are gas and air/diamorphine if necessary". It might sound quite trivial but she said she felt it really helps to then avoid feeling afterwards like you have failed if you don't end up with what you planned.

She also recommended (which I hadn't even thought about) to say what you want assuming it's all straightforward, and then do a section about "if I have to be induced then ..." And "if I have to have a c-section then ..." I thought this was good advice because I am rather optimistically approaching it thinking I won't need these things but actually if I don't put anything in the plan about them now then by the time I need them I might not be in the right frame of mind to remember the options and what I want.

sher just wait for baby to come in its own time I suppose. I'd only be induced if it was medically necessary, ie if there's a problem like pre-eclampsia etc. I think we are too trigger happy with induction in this country. My mum was nearly 3 weeks over with my brother and they were nagging her like crazy to be induced but she just said no politely and said while she was very happy to come to the hospital every day to be monitored, she wasn't being induced before baby was ready to come unless there was a medical necessity. DBRO came in his own good time, perfectly healthy. That's my plan anyway!

I agree maybe, I definitely don't want to be induced and would only do so unless medically necessary (ie not because I'd gone some arbitrary number of days over my most likely incorrect due date).

I'm starting to feel quite pessimistic about my chances of having a home birth. Just read a birth story on the home birth support group I'm in on FB, and the lady was told RBH didn't have the staff for a home birth so she has to go in. There was a case recently where mistakes were made at a home birth which they've blamed on understaffing - the baby and mum were fine in the end but they had a serious incident review and I think now RBH are being very cautious about offering home births, which is a big shame 😞. I am glad I'm prepared for it, but not looking forward to the drama of going to the hospital again after my difficulties with DD (got sent home twice, once at 4cm dilated basically because it was too busy). Oh well.

Really can't be arsed with work today, can my maternity leave start early please? DD was being a right jeckle and Hyde this morning all over the place, one minute chirpy as hell and running circles around me not listening to me, the next screaming her head off (usually when I prevented her from doing something dangerous she wanted to do). DP was up with her last night as she was ill so got no sleep, so I let him lie in and had to deal with her tantrums by myself, could not deal at all!

Another one constantly hungry here, seem to be craving chocolate all of a sudden!

I also found a few of the birth stories in Ina May's book a bit but each to their own, and I did enjoy the book. My fave birth book ive read so far is Jujus birth skills. Absolutely amazing, really practical advice which having gone through birth once I can see things I did 'wrong' last time like being too active too early on and knackering myself out. I'm reading Maggie Howells birth book now which is an accompaniment to the hypnobirthing CD, whihc I really ought to listen to more often. The book is OK but a bit too 'birth doesn't have to be painful' which I think is a crock of shit tbh, if you have a back to back birth like I did with DD thats going to be painful - much better to accept that and focus on strategies to deal with it. But my opinion is coloured by my experience with DD, I'm sure some women do have not very painful births and lucky them!

For everyone that is writing their birth plans atm:

My midwife advised me to go online Here to make my birth plan, then print it out and stick it in my notes. Looks like quite a good option, with lots of tick boxes and space for explanations and different sections.
Hoping to fill it out soon, but waiting for my next growth scan and consultant appointment next week to discuss it. I want a natural birth, but the more I remember about my last birth, and the more I hear about this one being big, the more I worry! I'm not particularly worried about myself (thought I really DON'T want to tear!), but I am worried he could get stuck/distressed etc. Hoping the consultant can talk to me about those worries and I can get a plan in place!

So stressed today :( Everything is making me want to cry and sleep!

No birth plan here (having an ELCS anyway, so seems less necessary) mainly because I haven't seen my midwife since early November .

She is absolutely terrible (had her for DS also). She cancels appointments, turns up late and doesn't do half of the stuff she is supposed to. As I said, I haven't seen her since November and I have no appointments with her at all coming up. I will be shocked if I see her before this baby arrives. I have left several messages asking for my scheduled appointments, but have heard nothing! Luckily, as I have had extra scans, I have seen some medical professionals, but for a "very high risk pregnancy" the lack of MW support is atrocious!

I do agree about babies coming in their own time and that's why I refused induction on six occasions in my last pregnancy and went well over but as I was nearly ten months pregnant in the end so was induced - it was that or a repeat c section ! Refusing induction was a battle I had to really fight my corner for and a pregnancy that long was unheard of to most midwives but I don't regret it.
This time round am at a different hospital and the consultant who spoke to me early on in pregnancy actually said ' well we definitely won't be letting you go over like your last hospital did!' I smiled and nodded but was thinking inwardly ... We'll see about that now !

Am in full on nesting mode today....just disinfected the bathroom and the cat's litter trays (gross job, eugh). Feels like there's so much bloody cleaning to do! Especially since we're going to be moving in April, want to de-clutter as much as possible. But can't seem to do too much without feeling exhausted.

Also my back is killing me - just did a bit of hoovering and wow, it hurts so much! I'm obviously not bending in the right way...but what is the right way?!

Afternoon folks!

After planning to do nowt today I had a massive burst of nesting energy. Been to the recycling with a car load of stuff (the lovely chaps there did all the lifting out which I'm grateful for.) Also on the third load of washing - the radiators are lined up with vests and I love it!

maybebaby I've taken a leaf out of your birth plan and put on mine to not offer pain relief but I will ask if I need it.

neh Congrats on the new house! I reccomend tescos alcohol free finest fizz. Tasted just like the real thing to me and you get the satisfying "pop".

hayley cheers for the link, looks so much better than my chicken scratching and spelling mistakes! I hope you feel better, I keep having tired and teary days. Make sure you are taking time for yourself - even only half an hour! 💐

MrsBen that midwife of yours sounds a nightmare! Can you write a letter of feedback? Even though you are having consultant stuff going on a midwife should be looking after you and your mental health. At least your a hardy second time mum! 😁

Strange midwife story from me too - but quite a nice one! I had a different midwife for my last appt as my usual was on a training day. She was lovely and did all the usual stuff and right at the end said "your last name is really familiar...." Basically it turns out she was my mothers midwife in 1990 when my younger DSis was born! She even remembered my mums name. My mum remembered hers! I was pretty amazed.

maybe I'm glad it's not just me today being a bit of a divvy and lifting too much. I just want to pack things up and get rid! I'm planning a hot bath with oils so DP can rub away my aches and pains. Probably won't happen 😁

Bit of a random one, has anyone done any perineal massage? I can't remember if anyone's mentioned it. I just watched a YouTube video about it and the lady suggests starting at 34 weeks. Any advice?

wool I was just going to ask about perineal massage. It was spoken about at NCT class this week and the woman recommended it but I can't reach that area to do it myself! Will have to get DP to do it but I don't think he's very keen. It's supposed to hurt like buggery too.

Wow ohwoolballs that's amazing that she was your mother's midwife!

And I was literally about to come on here and ask about perineal massage too, I was thinking of using organic coconut oil. Looks a bit scary though!

Thanks for the birth plan suggestions, I've tweaked mine and feeling quite happy with it. It may all be a work of fiction in the end but feel better about crossing something off my list, all part of managing my anxiety I guess

mrsben that does sound atrocious for a high risk birth, do you have any avenues you can go down to complain?

I look the spitting image of my mum (and sisters- the genes are strong in our family) it isn't the first time that someone random has asked "is your mum Julie?"

maybe my DP is strangely keen to help out.. He is a funny one though. I also think I will struggle to reach!

ffaux good idea on the coconut oil, the video lady suggested olive oil microwaved for 30 secs. I don't want to smell like a fryer though!

neh I meant to reply to your question about raspberry leaf tea - it's supposed to help tone the uterus so it performs better during labour, amongst other benefits, but the evidence is a bit sketchy. If I'm right in remembering you have endometriosis (as do I), then this article warns against using it in our case, right at the bottom: www.babycentre.co.uk/x545986/can-raspberry-leaf-tea-help-to-ease-labour. So worth doing some research first!

I do intend to complain. With my first MW we wrote a letter of thanks to the supervisor of midwives for our trust (MW was fantastic) so I guess we write to her but a letter of complaint this time. She must have a reputation of being bad as when the hospital MWs ask who my named MW is they just roll their eyes!

Luckily as it's my third time I don't have as many questions and things, but after a placental abruption last time I would have thought that she'd at least want to keep an eye on my BP!

I haven't done any raspberry leaf tea or perineal massage ... I definitely don't fancy the latter

I tried perineal massage with DS1 and I have to say it did hurt like buggery! Literally managed a maximum of about 30 seconds, once! Didn't try it again after that!
Am tempted to try the raspberry leaf tea this time. I think even if it doesn't do anything I will feel better that I'm trying to do something lol How does it taste sher? Did you get it from Holland and Barrett or do Tesco etc stock it?

I tried the tea last time but hated the taste, so not bothering this round. Is anyone else having a lot of very uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions? Mine are whenever I walk and stop when I rest. It's damn annoying as I need to walk to prevent back ache.

I'm not doing perineal massage either, no idea if I did it right with ds and I still needed an episiotomy anyway due to the awkward way he was coming out (hand on face and elbow sticking out, cheers boy). I've also been terrible about pelvic floors, need to step that up a notch (so, start doing some).

My birth plan will mostly be an afterwards plan as those are the bits I feel most strongly about this time. I had a really great birth with ds but getting stitched up was awful - they tried to put a catheter in as they were too impatient waiting for me to wee, I hadn't had any anaesthetic or anything and it was just horrible and took hours. I also had a rough start breastfeeding and was discharged without him having really had a decent feed, meaning he dropped quite a bit of his birth weight. This time I want to ask them to wait for me to wee before stitching (if I need it) and to make sure I'm happy with feeding before we get sent home.

MrsBen, that's terrible of your midwife! Could you not move to a different midwife?

hayley have bought the tea both from tesco ( clipper ) and h&b ( Heath and heather brand ) the clipper ones contain 50% of the raspberry leaf and the Heath and heather ones 30 % . Both taste fine to me and actually quite relaxing if taken at the end of the day

Evening all, I'm tired and achey today. Had some concerning knicker-dampness earlier this afternoon, but seems to have been nothing.

How is raspberry tea supposed to work, exactly? How does it know to "tone" your uterus, and not other muscles? Or surely people would drink it for other types of muscle toning. What do they mean by "tone" anyway?

I asked the consultant about perineal massage, and she said there was no evidence to support it. Think I'll give it a miss!

Suz I think if I weren't seeing a consultant I would change MWs, but as I am being seen at the hospital I have written off MW as a bad job! I reckon the next time I see her will be the home visits when baby is here!!!

to be honest, indom, I've wondered the very same thing about the toning aspect (and how you would tone a muscle without actually moving it) BUT I was first introduced to it to ease period pain and it worked and then just gave it a go last pregnancy (also my first labour) and had a very short pushing stage- could have been a coincidence- not sure, but I find it very very relaxing and feel like I've nothing to lose by trying.
oh and I think quite a few of us are on regular knicker watch !
baby is in such a bizaree position. Can feel a foot so high up it is literally almost between my boobs!

Thanks Sher. My sister was all over it and had a 2.5 hr labour with her DS. I didn't, and had a 13 hr labour.

I feel so grumpy this evening! I've managed to restrain myself to curt Internet posting, rather than inflict it on DH & DS, but...

So sore and stiff today too. Although in fairness this is probably the worst I've been the whole pregnancy. I've been so lucky to have an easy one. 33 weeks today. 49 days to go, allegedly.

sorry you're feeling sore and stiff. I've been crying on and off into a pillow this evening feeling as though the world is going to end. Must be the hormones.

Sorry you're feeling so shit ladies, can I join you in a bit of self pity? I'm still adjusting to the iron pills and my heartburn has gone crazy, I just feel disgusting. And I'm getting the cold that's going round at work. Bluuuuuuuuuurgh.