August 2016 (3) - scans fast approaching, teeny tiny bumps appearing, and sickness easing....we hope!

[FourForYouGlenCoco]

Well we filled the last thread up fast! Seems we talk a lot round these parts

Hi ladies hope you don't mind me jumping in to the thread. I'm just over 12 weeks pregnant and have my 12 week scan and booking in appointment on Monday.

To give you a bit of background although it's extremely expensive I'm considering hiring an independent midwife to see me through antenatal appointments (they do them at home but you still keep up your NHS scans and important bloods etc for records) plus also having an advocate for me whilst I try to agree an ELCS. They also provide 6 weeks of postnatal care and 24/7 email and phone contact. This will be my only baby as I've conceived after many rounds of fertility treatment. It's my one and only chance. I'm terrified of giving birth, always have been. I'm scared my baby will die if I have to birth naturally . This happened to two friends. We can't afford a private cesarean so I'm praying and hoping NHS will help me with this fear.

Anyway that's the background. My question is have any of you hired an independent midwife? Is it worth it to get the extra support throughout to help with anxiety and feel a continuity of care and a familiar face? She has said she wolf full support my decision to have an ELCS and she would attend any consultant appointments and write a letter to try and help me achieve this.

Thanks for any input (a very anxious mum to be)

Xx

Oh jw so sorry to hear the news about your sister, sending you lots of love and well wishes, fingers crossed they can test your brothers quickly and one of them is a match for her. Stay strong and positive and also don't forget to look after yourself and the babe during this stressful time, remember we are always here to talk to if needed. X

Good luck ladies who are having scans today! Thinking of you all and look forward to seeing your pics.

Morning all, so much illness in our house. I've been ill for about 4/5 now and don't seem to be getting better, I may have to visit the dr at this rate. 3 of my little ones are also ill.

christinedonna I'm not using anything for stretch marks, never really bothered much, and (touch wood) I don't have any as yet.

Owl hope your scan goes well today. Sorry you've had a tough time of things. Being consultant led is worrying and reassuring at the same time I find. It's nice to know I have the support there, I end up having lots of monitoring and scans towards the end.

squiggle I'm 37 now, I was high risk last time, just over the point where I was offered a cvs. I declined, after a lot of thinking and discussion with dh, I'll have to see what happens this time.

Jw So sorry to hear about your sister. I hope that one of your brothers' are a match for her.

Annie welcome, I just joined this thread yesterday. Personally, I didn't mind not having the same midwife for appointments, I tended to see one from the same group when I was at hospital (and my consultant was the same), but in the community it was one of a couple. I didn't mind but then I was seen by lots of people a lot, so I think I got used to it. I've had 6 vaginal births and one section. My section was my last baby, and was an elcs, but for medical reasons. The baby had to come out and I wasn't comfortable with another induction (even though my inductions have gone brilliantly previously), something didn't feel right and I'm still glad about my decision now. My consultant supported me fully and I decided based on her advice and my feelings.

Jw I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. It's scary how fast things can change. She sounds like a proper fighter, will keep absolutely everything crossed that one of your brothers is a match. So so hope it all works out ok.
Cheese welcome, lovely to have you here! You've had a terrible time, I'm so sorry you lost your daughter. Sounds like you'll be well looked after by the consultant this time round - will it be the same one you've had before? Nice to have a bit of continuity!
Annie welcome to you too. Not had any experience with independent midwives to be honest. I spose it really depends how important continuity is to you - I don't think I saw the same person twice through my last successful pregnancy. I wasn't hugely fussed but everyone is different. If I'm being totally honest, I wouldn't consider an IM for myself unless I was planning to, eg, homebirth against medical advice or something like that. Re the ELCS, I suspect that's a bit 'luck of the draw', but be prepared to fight your corner very very hard. Try talking to your community midwife about it too.
Christine no stretch mark action here. I use baby oil with the Doppler and rub it in afterwards, but not doing anything else. Didn't get any stretch marks on the bump with DD so hoping I get lucky again!
Good luck to ladies that have scans today! Looking forward to hearing all about them all
15 weeks today and it's going faster now, all the moving stuff has provided a good distraction - I've been on the phone constantly most of this week sorting everything out. Our offer has been accepted, our mortgage application is underway, now we just need someone to come and buy our house! I'm hopeful that we'll be moved by the time this baby arrives, which would be soooo much easier. Fingers crossed!

Jw So sorry to hear about your sister. I'm in Newcastle, so if there's anything I can do to help (anything admin-y that needs doing, delivering something to the hospital for you etc) please message me x

Welcome annie and sorry I can't help on private midwifes as this is my first so no prior experience. So far I have received excellent care from the NHS and my local hospital midwifery team but you should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Christine I have been smothering myself day and night since day 1 to try to prevent stretch marks! I am using a combo of Stretch Marks Double Action by Mustela and Mama Mio tummy rub butter. I don't even have a bump yet but my skin is the softest it's ever been so I fingers crossed it's a good starting place for when things do start to change! Oh I also have the Mama Mio boob tube cream which is amazing.

Random one...who is doing pelvic floor exercises?!?!? My app just sent me a reminder!

15 weeks today

bear I am when I remember! A few times a week probably. Should do them more often but I always forget!

jw so sorry to here about what your sister is going through, hugs

Scan was fine, I'm so relieved! Dates changed to 12+4, edd 15 August. Will post a pic later.

jw so sorry to read about your sister too, praying for a donor to be found...

I had my scan today! Was so relieved there was a baby in there and it was enjoying swimming around!
Can't wait to tell people and not have to hide away being sick!

Big long leg stretched out! Baby was pretty chilled for measurements then had a little dance around.

OH gosh jw I'm sorry it isn't good news. What a precious picture of you and your sister. I hope one of your brothers is a match.

Cheese welcome! Sorry to hear about your stillbirth; that's so tragic. I hope the GD holds off for you this time.

Annie welcome. The continuity of private care is nice and having a familiar face at the delivery is reassuring. I'm not sure the midwife will be much help in securing an ELCS though, that seems to be at the discretion of the obstetrician. I would wonder would an NHS consultant react well to having a private midwife coming in and telling him what she believes he should do? Definitely ask to see a consultant though and explain the situation. They may be sympathetic.

Lovely scans ladies.

Thanks for all your comments and thanks Sophia I posted last night after a 2 hour phone call with her and I was feeling emotional. She's such a toughie so it's no use me thinking the worst as she's not.

Yes Lily its for ethical reasons they won't test me. I'm glad really.

Congrats on the scans!

Finally had my scan! Due date stays as I thought, August 8th! Amazing to see, still doesn't feel like it's me that's going through this!

Clara yes on the fraud thing! I ordered some maternity clothes but totally feel like an imposter. My belly is getting rounded but it's no bigger than when I'm bloated so to me there's not much physical change. I wouldn't be able to go into a shop and buy mat clothes without fear of people looking at me like a crazy who isn't even preggers! Maybe that's just me

So we are telling family this weekend. With the news of the pups last weekend and this this weekend I feel like we might be overloading some people-my gran in particular! Hehe I know DHs parents will be super happy, they've been dropping hints for ages...

congrats on all the scans, so nice to see the pics!

have fun telling everyone fly it's such a nice feeling.

I am also a fraud when it comes to clothing...I have been comfortably chilling in my mat jeans for about 2 weeks now, despite not having a bump. They are sooo much nicer to wear than normal skinnies and also love having the tummy fabric as keeps you nice and warm.

coco I am starting pelvics today in that case!!...have done three rounds of 20 at my desk. worried I am doing a 'face' and my colleagues are going to start calling me weird names

bear when I read your post there I started doing them! I've been trying to remember on my drive home from work.

fly congrats! It's do lovely telling everybody. And we are still due date buddies .

Here's some pics!

just catching up on what's been happening - so much is going on!

MrsZumba and Silver - gorgeous scan pics! Hope you're basking in the relief and excitement now - such a lovely feeling. Owlina did you have your scan too?

hello cheese - great to have you here, and hope you're managing to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible after the heartbreak before. fingers crossed the GD stays well away this time.

and hello annie too! i don't have any experience of independent midwives either, i'm afraid - total amateur at this baby business! i personally think that anything you feel will make the experience less stressful and more positive will help - independent midwives, doulas, acupuncture, hynosis, anything short of a stiff drink (dammit) is fair game if it makes you feel more confident, i reckon!

bearhuggy so glad i'm not alone feeling like a fraud in my elastic-waisted jeans. someone today insisted i'd lost weight - first time i've ever been annoyed at the thought! i'm sure i'll get my comeuppance when i'm the size of a zeppelin but right now i can't wait for the bump to hurry the hell up.

on the pelvic floor thing, i downloaded a really excellent free app that reminds you twice a day to do exercises and takes you through a different sequence each time. only takes 60 seconds twice a day. it's called Kegel Trainer and you can get it from the app store. just hoping my reminders don't flash up on screen in the middle of a meeting or something!

jw sympathetic ears all round, so sorry you're going through this but so glad you can come here to vent when you need x

Ladies thanks for your feedback so far. I really appreciate. Hope to read up about you all this weekend and properly join in on this thread xx

jw I'm so sorry about your sister. Not that I don't have every faith in her pulling through if she's as much of a fighter as she appears to be. Some people are cut out for fighting, maybe they don't realise it until they're in the position that they have to do so but she sounds amazing and I hope by the time your baby is here she's right there with you looking after you like you have her.

Wishing your sister well Jw, it must be so stressful for you and your family!

Attached are my latest scan pictures, they're both doing pretty well. I'm convinced I can feel the movement when I'm lay in bed very still and relaxed!

Hi guys, lots of lovely scan pics on here today! Scan went well today, saw a lovely wiggly baby. Saw lovely images of the baby but pics aren't great, I've attached one anyway. Measurements were fine for NT, so fx all will be well. Happy days.

Hi everyone, I've been awol for a bit as I've been too busy to post but I've just had a catch up. Hi to our new mummies! Lovely to see so many scan pictures, they are actual people in there!

jw I'm sorry to read your news, I hope they find a match and your sister can get the treatment she needs. I'm sure having a close family is a huge support to her. X

I got my downs screening results back less than 1:10000, I'll take that! I'm surprised as I'm 36!

Anyone else exhausted? I constantly feel like I could sleep for a week and I can muster up the energy to do anything. The house is a disaster area and I've got work coming out my ears, DS constantly wants to play Lego and read stories after school, but I'm just too knackered. Poor little boy :( Then when I actually get to bed I can't sleep and wake up uncomfortable. You know what I HATE being pregnant, good job you get a baby at the end! Any of you seen this super cute video yet? I think these are the most relaxed babies I've ever seen, I might make a baby spa too! www.facebook.com/Atlanta.Connectz/videos/132367083592139/

jw thanks for the update on your sister. Fingers crossed for a match she sounds like an amazing person. I'm on the bone marrow register and when I joined it used to be a big needle in your pelvis if you were a match, now days they fill you with drugs to get your bone marrow to over produce and sort of 'leak' into your blood and collect it through your blood which runs through a machine to harvest the bone marrow cells before its put back into the other arm. Clever eh? But I'd imagine it's all the drugs that really wouldn't be good in pregnancy! Anyway I'd urge everyone to join the register since its now as easy and pain free as a blood donation!

I've had a good few days, completely obsessed with cheese scones at the moment, hot from the oven and dripping with real butter. Mmmmm!

Has anyone had a risk assessment at work yet? It's really strange I told my manager and she hasn't mentioned anything about the pregnancy since, not even to ask how I'm feeling or any appointments I might have. Very strange, I'm under the impression she's not best pleased!

On the subject of finding out sex I think we will this time. Didn't with dd and I had some nasty pnd and anxiety, part of me thinks it's because I was so disconnected from the pregnancy, she was IT all the way through, it's moving, when it comes...etc. I think it'll help me form a bit of a bond before the birth, and also be great for dd to know too.
12 week scan a week Monday, can't bloody wait!

11 today!

Morning all! Not sure if there are any skiers here. We've got a trip booked for next week with my step son. Didn't know i'll conceive so quickly hence ended up in this dilemma. It's going to be my second time skiing and I really was looking forward to it. Midwife said no to skiing, I've read about people who have been skiing and it was fine but the only risk is if I fall (which I didn't on my first time). I really want to but worry if anything might happen.

What do you all think?

m2b I board more than ski these days but I wouldn't ski when pregnant personally. You may not fall, but all it takes is a patch of ice or someone ploughing into you.

Totally your choice though