April 2016 babies - 20-week scans, growing bumps and little kicks!

[suffolkblonde29]

Hi all,

I've started a new thread to take us up to the third trimester.

Hope you are all feeling well. I feel like my bump is a little small and I'm not feeling lots of movement (but this may be due to an anterior placenta). Got my 20-week scan tomorrow so not long to wait to see if everything's ok - it's actually nearly 22 weeks though as baby really wasn't playing ball when we went last week and was hiding with its back to the scanner.

Getting excited that I'm halfway there though...

wax glad there's been a good outcome and fingers crossed for it to continue.

Crumbly glad you're home. Xx hopping you're feeling better soon. I was off work from about this stage last time and, much as i hated it, looking back it was definitely necessary. Rest up xx

Finally a positive appointment :)
Mw found Hb 1st time (never been found before). She's worried that my BP is too low, but not a lot I am do about that.
She was horrified by done advice I'd had early on (re ds2's needs impacting on this pregnancy) and gave some great advice advice about discussing birth at next consultant appointment :)

That's great about your DD's sleep waxweasel. You must be feeling so much better just for a few nights of good sleep?

Glad your appointment went well cuppa. I've heard low BP is quite common in pregnancy but it can make you feel a bit rubbish with dizziness / lightheaded feelings. Hope yours improves soon.

How's everyone doing with buying stuff you'll need for the baby? I'm starting to worry a bit as only have 10 weeks until due date and still need to buy almost everything! Think a loooooong trip to Mothercare might be needed soon. Also, does anyone have advice about the best place for the baby to sleep at first? I know they need to be in the same room as you, but is a Moses basket, crib or cot best? I really like the look of the Snuzpod, anyone have any experience with this? I've heard baby sleeping bags are good too, but you can't use them from birth so I guess you need regular bedding too to start with?

wax Awesome that you are able to get some sleep. Everything is always so much worse when you are sleep deprived. I am getting my elder two started on helping out more. DS is struggling a bit but getting there with plenty of praise. DD loves being big sister.

knits DH got the car seat at work on Friday. At some point this week he will check to make sure it fits. If it doesn't fit we will return it and go to the expensive shop and get them to find something that does. Apart from that I have one onsie and two swaddle-me blankets I picked up from the clearance section at Target for $6. I like something small at first. Both of my elder two did well in the Eddie Bauer bassinet but we handed it on to DH's colleague and don't want to ask to borrow it back! I am probably going to go with a fisher price one which I found online at walmart for $50.

For bedding stuff I keep it really simple. My MIL purchased a $1500 bedding set. As beautiful as it was I could only use the fitted sheets so I returned it and got the separate pieces on Amazon. I never bothered with a crib bumper and none of the other stuff like the blanket or pillows are allowed due to risk of SIDS. You need to heat the room to the right temperature and not add another blanket during the first 2 months or so. If the room is cold I would consider getting an oscillating fan/heater. For swaddling I like the muslin clothes by aiden & anais. I would only get a 3 pack because you might not like them. Also my kids grew out of them quite quickly. I am asking around to see if anyone has some I can borrow. I hate buying this stuff again.

Once the baby is born I will be in for 5 days. I will do an amazon shop and have the diapers delivered to the house. DS needed size 1s from birth and after two weeks was in size 2s. He completely missed the newborn size! I learned my lesson so will wait this time. We already have wipes for DS. I swear by Costco wipes and won't use anything else after DC got nasty rashes from huggies 'natural' wipes.

To be specific it is the Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play Portable Bassinet that we will use if we buy something. I have it in my amazon wish list.

I also like the Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play Sleeper for during the day. It is on an angle so helps a lot if they have reflux. It is really easy to take around the house with you. One of the mothers from DD's class last year has one she will pass on to me next week.

Thanks everyone!

Knits it really depends on your baby (sorry, I know that's not helpful!) and whether you're planning on breastfeeding. The best way of establishing bf and actually getting some sleep is to co-sleep and feed lying down during the night, so a co-sleeper bedside crib thing is ideal. We didn't have one with DD, and tried battling her into a moses basket but it was hopeless, and so exhausting having to keep sitting up to feed her and then try to transfer her into the moses basket. So we (quickly) gave up and she happily slept in our bed. Later on we took the side off her cot and tied it to the bed as a homemade co-sleeper crib.

My DD always hated the moses basket/cot/pram/her own bed and wanted to sleep on or next to me. So naps were in the sling or on my lap, and nightime she slept with me. But I know other people who have had babies who seem to like their own space and were perfectly happy in a cot or whatever.

Personally, I'm not sure I'd bother with a moses basket either way. They outgrow them quickly (DD had outgrown it by 12 weeks) and the bedside cribs have a side you can pull up to turn them into a standalone cot type thing anyway.

On bedding, DD hated gro bags and always wanted to be swaddled so we used those until 6/7 months. First the gro swaddles and then miracle blankets as she needed to be properly tightly restrained! Some babies like swaddling, some don't. Gro bags can be used from birth as long as baby is over 8lbs I think? I don't have little babies so I'm not sure what you do if you have one smaller than that!

Kints I am sorry *wax makes a good point. Our bed is really high. Its one of those king sized American beds that I have to climb into (never AGAIN would I agree to such a high bed). I actually have steps that I use to get into bed which are meant to be used for pets! The regular height bassinet is flush with the mattress so it is like a cosleeper. I have not BF either of my DC and not sure if I will for the third. Either way, when they have a gurgle you want something eye height from bed. I also put the baby next to DH! Mean mummy but it gets him involved. I strongly suggest this approach. I told DH it was to help him bond with the baby and ease DD's move to her own room. He bought it!

We've loved our Moses basket as its on a rocking stand so I can stick an arm out and give it a little rock if they stir in the night but don't really need a feed. Personally, I don't get on with co sleeping at all. I find it really stressful and don't then sleep myself (which is a trigger for PND) for me. DH sleeps like the dead and I'd be too worried about a suffocating squashed baby! We've never had any problems establishing bf either. I'm a bit cautious about describing anything as the 'best' way to do something. Ime, there is no best way for anything, there is just what works for you, and as every Mummy and baby is different what works for one could be a nightmare for another.

I'd be hesitant to spend a lot of money on snuzpod or similar until you have a better idea of what sleep situation works for you. I know people who have lived them from day 1 and others who've regretted the outlay on something that wasn't used. A Moses basket is handy for daytime naps as you can take it down from the bedroom to whichever room you are in but you can get them cheap on eBay and just buy a new mattress. A stand or cot that rocks is great if your baby likes movement to help go off to sleep (both of mine have). Grandparents bought ours from John Lewis so more than I would have paid but it'll see us (briefly) through 3 babies. DD was in it for about 10 weeks, DS was massive so outgrew it after 4! We'll see how this baby fares but mine all tend to be on the long and chunky side.

Pic is a 4 week old DS getting a bit too snug in his basket. He was about 13lbs then.

Sorry, lazy wording from me! What I meant was co-sleeping can be a good way to establish bf and avoid having to get up repeatedly so get more sleep. But like you say, not for everyone - some friends of mine just couldn't sleep at all with a baby next to them. Sounds like movement was enough for your babies, whereas that or white noise alone would never get my DD back to sleep - she basically just slept permanently latched onto me like a dummy until she was 2, so anything other than co-sleeping would have been a disaster!

You're right that it totally depends on the mum and baby. Which is frustrating for a first timer as you have no idea what set up will work and end up spending money on stuff that should be useful but for you is totally useless and never gets used! For us that was the moses basket, our travel system (except the car seat bit), the bouncy chair, jumperoo, bottles....all things most parents swear are essential but not for us as DD refused to use any of them! We're not getting anything else, apart from a new co-sleeper, until we know what this one is like....

The beauty of the Snuzpod is that it can be used as a stand alone rocking moses basket too if you don't get on with co-sleeping. I co-slept with DD1 and loved it so I'm super excited to have the Snuzpod this time around. I collected my pushchair too on Sunday as there's uncertainty about when baby will be born now so I wanted to have the carseat at least accessible, I am in love! I have everything really apart from a few bits and pieces but now I am signed off work I will have plenty of time I suppose. I am going to make myself a little go-bag too incase I have to go back into hospital but don't need my actual labour bag. I was desperate to be signed off work but now I am I feel lost!

Whilst I am very grateful for getting Gaviscon on scrip, what cruel twist of Fate is this?!! CURSE YOU PHARMACY.

I agree that every baby, and every family, is different. Co-sleeping works for some, but not for others.

There is absolutely no way I could sleep with a baby in my bed or even at the side of my bed!

With my first, she was very noisy, even when she was sound asleep. Like a sleep deprived ninja, I lept out of the bed and fed her at the slightest whimper. I was exhausted, she was exhausted. Ended up putting her into the next room with the doors open. We both slept much better after that.

With my second I kept the Moses basket at the side of my bed for the first few nights, then shifted it to the other side of the room, then next door. I never had a cot in my bedroom, but then my babies weren't huge and were able to use their Moses baskets for a good while.

We've since moved house and have a dressing room off of our bedroom, so planning on putting the baby in there.

What works for my family might not won't work for another though!

The cot/mattress we'll be getting is a present from my parents and we measured it carefully to make sure it had a drop side and would sit in line with our bed. We'll be making sure it sits tightly beside it and whilst it's not specifically built for side sleeping, there are lots of simple and cost effective adjustments you can make (and blogs on how to do so) to make it suitable for that purpose. Snuzpods (and the like) seem great but, for me, expensive considering it's a 6 month or so use and even that depends on how quickly baby grows. Still, it's probably a lot less hassle to adjust and you can hire them for cheaper from NCT (with fresh mattress I think). And has someone else has said, will do as a standalone crib if that works better.

As others have said, the sleeping bags can be used dependent on age. Otherwise I think it needs to be a baby gro and sheet/blanket over the top, depending on room temp.

I've found this leaflet from the lullaby trust has some really helpful pointers: www.lullabytrust.org.uk/document.doc?id=303

It arrives Saturday! So far we also have:

A whole load of second hand clothes and some new stuff. Will buy some newer babygros and such once I'm a bit more sure how big baby will be!
Changing table and drawers (second hand) Changing mat (new)
Pram/pushchair system iCandy strawberry (2nd hand)
Baby carrier - second hand but unused. Trying to figure out if I prefer slings/wraps so will be giving those a go at some point
Various second hand books and toys and some new ones

Other bits and pieces that I can't think of right now - but we don't have everything but have a list of what we need so that's all in hand. No 1 annoyance at the moment is that the baby room needs furniture moving from it but we don't have access to the garage that comes with our flat at the moment due to letting company being rubbish. Husband is all over this, but I'm starting to get a bit antsy/grumpy about it now as it's stopping us from getting stuff brought and sorted and I'm getting bigger and less mobile :(

I'm more organised this time than I was with either of my first two pregnancies...

Here's what I have so far...

• bugaboo Cameleon 3
• Snuggle Pod Moses basket
• round ended fitted sheets for pram/Moses basket
• Muslin squares
• swaddle wraps
• a few blankets
• nipple shields
• multi-mam balm/compresses (as recommended on MN)
• Maxi-cosi Cabriofix & Family Fit base (from previous DC)
• nursing chair & stool (ditto)
• sling (ditto)
• banana shaped baby bath support (ditto)
• buggy for car when baby is older (donated by a friend)
• baby bath (ditto)
• microwave steriliser (ditto)
• changing mat (ditto)
• unisex newborn bundle (bought second hand)
• cot (mine from when I was a baby!)

Will also need...

• cot mattress
• high chair (sister is buying one as a gift)
• nappies

It looks impressive . In reality, nothing has been set up and everything is dotted about in various locations!

If you are going to breastfeed get nipplesheilds. OMG they are the best and I used them from the start with my 2nd so never had the same horrible pain I had with my 1st.

Also, you don't know what child you are going to have. DD started out with no cream on my nipples and that is what she liked best. That meant that every single time it came to feeding I first had to wipe off all cream. If there were any traces she screamed until they had been removed. I am still on the fence about trying to BF this third one. If I do I will have cream on my nipples from the first time!

I'm still so exhausted and ill-feeling! Been like this since before xmas now. I have been given another 2 weeks off work and instructions to rest and see how I go. Went twice to the GP surgery today - once to get the note and once to get the whooping cough vaccine, which I didn't get in the end because they were concerned in case I'm actually ill, but I'll be allowed it in a couple of weeks, I hope. One of my worst fears is the baby catching whooping cough, because I had it as a little one and it was so dreadful.

I have a snuzpod! I did get it knowing it was a ridiculous luxury, but this is my PFB and possibly my only (we were trying a while) so I got it anyway. It's beautiful :D Saying that, I've got lots of clothes on sale or from charity shops/ebay and a secondhand cotbed, so I could be doing worse.

Thanks for the advice everyone. As a slightly clueless first time mum it's so helpful to hear all of this. I hadn't really thought about how much what's useful will depend on your baby, so that's made me feel a bit more relaxed about only getting the absolute essentials before and then getting other things once we've got to know our little one a bit more.

wax, I'm definitely hoping to breastfeed so I really like the idea of a co-sleeper crib. I like the way you can detach the crib bit of the Snuzpod from its base so you can use that in different rooms during the day, so I think we might go with that. Thanks for the advice about being able to hire them dizzy, I hadn't heard of that and it would certainly save money as they're quite pricey for something you'll only use for a relatively short time.

I've put together a proper shopping list now (inspired by the suggestions on this thread!) so I'm feeling a bit more relaxed as it feels like it's more about going out to buy stuff now rather than spending ages working out what we need.

crumbly, I know what you mean about feeling a bit lost when off work. I'm working part-time until I go on maternity leave and the first few days of part-time working I found it difficult to adjust to having that extra free time. I've mostly been using the time to rest, or to try gentle exercise in the hope that it helps with my back pain.

April, hope you start to feel better soon. It's so rubbish feeling ill when you're pregnant. Hopefully the rest might start to help?

That's a great list mazzledazzle. I'm not doing so well with getting everything together! I'm a first timer so it really helps to get advice with what we really need.

I fancy the Snuzpod too, so I think we're going with that. I plan to breastfeed although I realise that this doesn't always go to plan. Should I be buying bottles as well and maybe wait to buy a breast pump in case I end up using formula?

My baby bath arrived yesterday and it was huge! It seemed far too big to me (a Schnuggle). I don't know whether to send it back or keep it. I have never so much as bathed a baby or changed a nappy - it's quite difficult when you haven't a clue!!!

One more question - does a newborn just need swaddling in it's crib? Is the grobag for a little later?

April hope you feel better soon.

Knits I apologise, I was wrong. It's bednest you can rent, not Snuzpod! (but someone should really do that!) and it's directly from the company. Whoops!

brooke a newborn should only be swaddled. No extra blankets or grow bags. We heat the room rather than the child. My kids wanted a blanket after they were a year old. Other kids will want different so just see what type of kid you are given!

The one thing I wish I had been told as a first time mum was about tummy time. Basically you build into your routine time on the tummy for baby. Not hard but makes lounging around on the sofa with baby on tummy for hours just wonderful! If you don't get enough tummy time there is a real risk of their head being flat.

Thank you want2b, that's great advice

Thanks dizzy, that saves me searching their website.

brooke, I was wondering about whether to buy bottles too. I really want to BF and I've read that they advise against expressing milk to start with so I wasn't planning to get bottles or a pump in advance. But then I'm a bit worried that if for any reason I did need to express milk or FF then it might be difficult to get to the shops with a tiny baby in tow. But on the other hand, I don't want to waste money on bottles etc if they might never be used. Difficult decision!

The advice re swaddling, blankets or grobags varies actually. In the UK the advice is cotton cellular blankets are fine as long as baby is in the feet to foot position so feet at bottom of cot or moses basket so they can't wriggle down under them.

There is info on what temp the bedroom should be and how many layers baby should have on them eyc. Swaddling has been advised against I think partly due to hip issues? But that can be avoided if you make sure babies legs/hips are in froggy position and not straight iyswim. Also there are some concerns re swaddling and overheating. Saying thst I swaddled mine and just used a big muslin cloth so they were fine temp wise.

Grobags it depends on weight, a big newborn will be fine if you get the grobags suitable for 8lb plus, they have extra poppers on the shoulders to make the head hole smaller.

Obviously no cot bumpers, pillows or quilt type things for a baby.

I will find a link to current guidelines in the UK. It's worth checking what guidelines are where you are, they do vary.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/reducing-risk-cot-death.aspx&ved=0ahUKEwiC5tLggMrKAhULuhoKHaumBEcQFghTMAM&usg=AFQjCNFPhJ7RClHrO2EbhprqHfhISu5NdQ&sig2=rEU7YM83rE0SooVXtvYWoA" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/reducing-risk-cot-death.aspx&ved=0ahUKEwiC5tLggMrKAhULuhoKHaumBEcQFghTMAM&usg=AFQjCNFPhJ7RClHrO2EbhprqHfhISu5NdQ&sig2=rEU7YM83rE0SooVXtvYWoA

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep&ved=0ahUKEwiC5tLggMrKAhULuhoKHaumBEcQFghGMAA&usg=AFQjCNHtXclxHGJCTHY2HVNAHVqzdFdLgQ&sig2=-Is0YBymFlWQ9jh08Q6-wg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep&ved=0ahUKEwiC5tLggMrKAhULuhoKHaumBEcQFghGMAA&usg=AFQjCNHtXclxHGJCTHY2HVNAHVqzdFdLgQ&sig2=-Is0YBymFlWQ9jh08Q6-wg