March 2016 Babies!! Thread #7 The one where we all say.... "Stay put Flump!!"

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Stay where you are Flump!!!

How is everyone doing today?

Not to sound too bloody smug or anything but I've done my first bit of serious baby prep - I've just washed the Moby wrap! Got it back from the friend I lent it to this week and thought I'd be organised I'm only so pleased with myself because so far all this baby has is three sleepsuits, some teeny hats, and a pack of water wipes so I don't have to take cotton wool to a meconium bum.

Hooray!

Well done Suz. I've had the most wonderful lazy day, and DS has played nicely all day too!

I had a ring sling last time, and really want to get a wrap this time. Not sure whether to get a stretchy wrap (which I presume will become uncomfortable/too small at some point) or get a standard wrap that'll do another 5 years. We've got the ergo already, but the infant insert doesn't seem ideal so we'd be waiting 4-5 months or whatever it is to bust that out.

What do you reckon? Stretchy wrap or not?

Hi all, hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. I think I'm being a bit hormonal but I don't know - what supposed to he heading out with the girls tonight for a pre xmas meet up, they all drinking and only me not. Felt exhausted all day and when it's come to it I really cant be bothered so have messaged wishing them a good night but i'll be staying home and have had a couple of arsey responses and one just non acknowledgement. Feel a bit stroppy over it as they've all got kids so know how it feels and they're supposed to be my closest mates but haven't really bothered with me at all since I fell pregnant (feel like I'm in the playground again and can't be doing with it)
beautiful hope you got good news at your scan! And hope you haven't told dh and let him stew for a bit.

I liked the stretchy indom, and it was fine until about five months when he went into the boba 3g. Admittedly I never gave proper wraps a good go as I'm quite cack-handed and didn't trust myself, but I think what I liked about it is that you pre-tie it and then stick the baba in, so no faffing wrapping around a wibbly wobbly newborn. It was only £20 and we definitely got our money's worth, I've lent it to several friends too.

My ds has not played nicely all day, he's been grumpy as all hell! His cousin has come down with chicken pox so he could well be incubating it, I hope it's not the start of something!

Thanks Suz, think you've just swayed that one for me! Thanks! Need to get some water wipes and some flushable liners for our cloth nappies. And some hats. We've got a ton of clothes stashed around the house (that I'll start washing & sorting at some point) but very few hats.

It is notable that DS played nicely because it so rarely happens! He's been what you'd call a "high needs" baby and at 4.5 is only just starting to come out of it. Sorry your DS wasn't in the club today. Could well be chicken pox brewing.

Ah, Q, I can understand howl you're feeling. Some people's memories of childbearing are very short (and rose tinted). And then there's those who had perfect, glowy, easy pregnancies who think anyone who doesn't is weak & pathetic. Let it go, if you can, though their upset at missing you could be seen as heartwarming on some level! You're obviously important to them/the group!

We still haven't heard from Beautiful. Hope everything's ok. I'd like to give her DH a good talking to

I hadn't even realised this had turned over to another page so my apologies for not noticing your posts doc suz and indom
I don't even know where to start for slings and wraps etc, keep noting all the types you ladies all put down and intend to look into them in my time off between xmas and new year.
I'm going to ignore friends moods and try organise a lunch or something in a few weeks time and see what kind of responses I get!

Indom, I'd def go for a stretchy wrap, they are so comfy. I have the boba wrap from DS and loved it. I wore him in it until he was at least 6 months I think, maybe older. I just had to start pulling it super tight the heavier he got but it stayed really comfy. A friend has recently bought a Close Caboo which looks awesome, hoping by the time Zach is home and big enough he DS will be out of it and I can borrow for Zach to alternate with the stretchy wrap.

I hope Beautiful is ok too, bit worried about her.

Zach is doing well. Today the drs trialled him for 1 hour off the breathing support and just on a little oxygen via nasal prongs (so no pressurised air at all), had seemed to cope really well and it wAs lovely as got to have skin to skin throughout and he didn't have a hat/mask on so I could see his face properly for the first time in a week or so. His weight is now about 875g so hopefully that will have gone up at his weigh in tomorrow. Here's a couple of pics from us having cuddles today, he's 3 weeks 1 day old.

And here's one from two days ago when he was looking really alert.

missi so nice to see Zach progressing, well done to the bottom of you! Hope you have a lovely relaxed Xmas. Perhaps you might be able to do a family gathering when Zach is out of hospital?

Hope beaut is ok.

q sorry to hear your friends have responded in that way, let's hope they make it up to you. You deserves the rest!

I've got one more day at work so now looking forward to some rest. It's been so busy with the new job, living it but hours have been long!

Bump definitely much bigger now. Trying to hold out for Jan sales before I buy anymore maternity clothes.

Happy sunday everyone!

Morning everyone, wrote a long message yesterday morning and my phone ran out of batt half way through was too annoyed to re write!

Re slings - I found the caboo good when DD was v little but as she got heavily, the straps would constantly slip and it was useless for walks etc. Have gone with the manduca carrier this time which is a bit more structured and I've used it with DD at age two so I know it'll last.

Really annoyed last night, got back from lovely day with DPs family to discover royal mail left packages with our neighbours - they never do this usually- but happens to be our student neighbours 4 doors down and the house looks suspiciously dark and empty and I think they might have gone home for Xmas! You'd think you wouldn't sign for packages if you were due to go away but I've had it with my other neighbours at Xmas last year.. Anyway one of the packages were a couple of dresses I bought from asos to wear at Xmas as feel so frumpy at the moment and all my mat dresses are practical/worked based. Had one of those unreasonable pregnancy breakdowns about it haha. DP told me it's not definite they've gone away but I've managed to convince myself. They also delivered a package with Xmas presents for dp to the same neighbours. One of those things where I know I'm getting unreasonably annoyed about something but can't let it go haha. I blame pregnancy hormones!

missi glad Zach is doing well and thanks for all the updates, its lovely to see you're getting on ok.

beaut hope you are doing ok

Another night of DD sleeping through, yay. Although now my pregnancy insomnia has returned! I think her waking for two weeks has messed with my body clock, plus I've been drinking too much tea recently I think so my sleep is disturbed (am really sensitive to caffeine). So still feeling knackered! Sad times...

Oh no marmite! Hopefully your dh was right and they're just out. If not, at a long shot, is it managed by a local letting company who might be able to call one of the students for you?

That's really lame of your friends Q, it's not like it was just one friend - there were enough of them that nobody's night had to be called off. I'm not feeling at all sociable either, I'd love to hang out with people in the daytime or at home, but the evenings are just out and the thought of having to go into town leaves me cold!

Zach's looking great Missi! Brilliant news that he did so well without the oxygen mask. It must have been lovely to see his wee face! I just can't get over how big he looks in your photos, it's really odd to think mine's probably the same size.

Beautiful pics Missi! Glad he's doing well. Thanks for the wrap info.

I can't imagine even students would sign for packages and the leave the same day. There must be one still around. Sorry to hear about the return of your insomnia, marmite.

Suz, I find it really difficult to believe I've got a Zach-sized baby in there! (Well, nearly, he's a couple of weeks ahead)

Suz you're well ahead of me, I have so far bought absolutely nothing. I think my poor baby may spend his first few days wrapped in a pillow case. I need to get my act together!

Missi lovely pictures of your gorgeous boy, glad to here he's doing so well!

Q I would be annoyed at my friends too, I don't think you're being hormonal. You look after yourself and bump and ignore them!

Hope you get your parcels marmite

How annoying marmite - fingers crossed someone is still around.

Missi Zach looks like he's doing so well! Is it still too early days for them to have given you an idea of when he might be able to go home? After all you've been through a nice quiet Christmas might be nice to recharge!

I'm off work now for the whole of next week, back in between Christmas and New Year. I am looking forward to catching up on sleep, I am sleeping so badly at the moment. Last night I woke at 3 needing a wee and didn't drop off again until about 5 in the end I moved to the spare room, DH asked me if he'd done something wrong (snoring etc) but I said no, I was just getting annoyed with him for being there all asleep when I wasn't!

Morning all.

29 weeks today. 9 weeks to go till Induction Day. I have slowed down to the speed of a hungover elephant and DH has put his stern face on and said afternoon naps are to be had. (Yay!)

Q I completely understand where you're coming from we went out last night, I was so not in the mood. I'd have been pissed off with the arsey messages as well (and probably been in floods of tears!) Hope you are feeling better today.

Missi Zach is a little smasher, he's really coming along! How are you managing? Hope you're all okay and looking forward to your first Christmas with your handsome boy.

Marmite hope you get your parcels!

Insomnia returned a few weeks back - it's horrible I just want one full night of sleep. Just one. I wonder if santa will oblige?

High fives Me

Another member of the "Crap Sleepers Club"

Oh my god paper, 9 weeks!! That seems ever so soon!

Oh wow yes that does seem soon! (Especially when I've got another 14 weeks till I finish work!)

Hey everyone! God I'm rubbish at keeping up nowadays but

Missi - lovely pictures, keep them coming! And i hope you enjoyed your night out.

Q - I'd have been pissed off about that too... bit odd that they are parents themselves but didn't understand! Maybe they'd already had a skinful?!

Paper that is not long at all! Hope you get some sleep during those 9 weeks!

Marmite - glad DD seems to be sleeping a bit better. You're amazing coping with that on top of everything else!

God I was so upset with DH the other day, and he knows it. I doubt I'll ever forget it but he has apologised and is trying to make things up to me.

I'm just not myself at all nowadays. I hate all this stuff that's going on. I don't want to go to the hospital. People keep saying to me "well if your baby's in the best place that's what you have to do" but I just don't see it that way. My first baby was born at the hospital and I had no pain relief, no birth partner, the midwives laughed at me and patronised me and wouldn't believe I was in labour, then when they finally looked at the heartbeat trace they could see DS was struggling and I was rushed off to the delivery suite where they kept calling me by the wrong name, DS was rushed out with forceps (just with gas and air) and was blue and floppy and had to have the oxygen mask applied. The midwives kept asking if I'd been taking drugs as DS' condition was so poor and when I said no they were like "come on now, we need the truth so we can help your baby". It was just horrible, I'm a private person anyway and I think I'd rather labour in the Amazon rainforest than Lincoln hospital.

Anyway...

I had the scan on Friday. They didn't check growth as that can only be done fortnightly. It was just a Doppler scan. This time I had two normal results and one abnormal, so I've got to go back tomorrow and Wednesday. God knows what they'll do over Christmas and New year, especially if the results are abnormal again.

In all fairness the two consultants I've seen have been fab. On Friday she explained that even if the results next week are all normal they'll still keep scanning me, probably weekly rather than every 2-3 days.

They're hoping to get me to at least 36-37 weeks but if anything changes like reduced movements, slow growth or all abnormal results again they'll probably start steroids and think about earlier delivery. If she's breech then they'll talk c sections. I am NOT having a c section!

Something I'm wondering though (I'll ask this week but thought I'd ask your opinions!) is that my labour last time was quick - midwives didn't arrive in time. So would they take this into consideration when deciding whether to induce me at, say, 37 weeks? I mean if they said "things are going steady, we'll leave you to go into labour naturally/induce you after 40 weeks" then potentially I could go into labour, will have to wait for DH to get back from wherever he's working, then arrange childcare, then get to the hospital which is 45 mins away?? So what would be the point in that? Baby could end up at home anyway?

I know I'm not making much sense probably - I'm in a shit mood today and have bollocked the kids for using all the milk

Ah, Beautiful. Firstly, so glad your DH has seen the error of his ways and is making things up to you.

Secondly, I can see why you feel the way you do about all this intervention. Did you ever have a debrief of your first birth? I don't know much about it, but I've read on here about going through the notes with a midwife, even years later. It might be a helpful, cathartic thing to do. It sounds like you were incredibly unfairly misjudged because of your appearance/age. I wonder if there was also another woman whose name was the one they were calling you, who did have a dodgy history. A disgusting mix up if so. Though I'm not sure how you'd find that out.

Make a note of all the questions to ask them at your next appointment - or make an appointment with the consultant to go through these specifically. You're right to worry about the time aspect if they don't induce you.

And I definitely recommend using the hypnotherapy to help with the worries.

Thanks Indom.

I did have a debrief when I was pregnant with my second child. The midwife said she could see in black and white that my care had been unacceptable as my whole experience of being induced and in labour was summed up in a single sentence. I did feel a little better after the debrief (this was in 2011) but then I'd planned a home birth anyway so didn't have to stress about going back.

When I had the heartbeat monitored the other day I did explain my fears to the midwife and she was really reassuring (and will be on delivery suite in March!).

Re the wrong name - well, I'd said my name is Kat and they kept calling me Kate so not "wrong" as such but still quite off putting!

I definitely think if I'd been 35 and married and in a professional capacity they'd have treated me a lot better. I will not take any crap this time though. And I won't be laid on my back strapped to monitors... such a painful position to give birth in for me

Beautiful, glad to hear all is looking ok for now and they're not talking imminent delivery. I know what you're saying about your quick labours that baby could arrive at home anyway. With regards to the breech and c section I would definitely not be keen to deliver another breech baby vaginally. DS1 was undiagnosed breech and I had a last minute csection under general but Zach was also breech and although they said there's normally no issue delivering such preterm babies breech as they are so small, his head got stuck. I was pushing for ages to try and get him out and in the end they had to cut my cervix to get him out. He came out all floppy and I thought he was dead. I would definitely say if breech opt for the csection to avoid that, it was horrible.

Me, no it's too early to give ideas about going home. The nurses say aim for due date (7th march) but it really depends on how his journey is over the next couple of months. I guess best case scenario would be mid feb but as I'm really determined to try and establish breastfeeding I think he could end up being in longer as I think it can be a more complicated process to get going.

Q, sorry to hear about your friends being arsey, that would have really upset me. You'd think being parents they would understand.

Sorry to hear about all the insomnia going on. I will send you all sleepy vibes. Unbelievably DS let us sleep in until 10am today! Think he'd been awake for ages but was just singing to himself in his cot, so sweet! Have a fab weekend everyone. Finally some sunshine means I can actually go outside and get some fresh air for the first time since I went into hospital!

Thanks Missi, that's quite enlightening. Sorry to hear it was so traumatic (not that such a prem birth could be plain sailing!). I really am terrified of a c section. Will it destroy my body? Will I bond and breastfeed? I can't cope without driving either. It probably is the worst case scenario though.

I keep thinking they must really be quite concerned about this baby - I mean remember all that ballache I had trying to organise my 12 week scan. It's not like they just scan people for fun because the NHS has so much free time! So that's scary.

And the placenta thing... why?? The sonographers on Friday assumed I either had blood pressure problems or smoked, but I've never had/done either. I could understand it starting to get gritty at the end of the pregnancy, but not at 28 weeks. And this happened with my last baby, although it wasn't noticed until she was born. The placenta was in v bad condition despite her being born in her due date. The midwife said "we don't know why but just count yourself lucky she came when she did" so that's worrying me too! Aaagghhhh these babies!

Missi that's good if you've got his due date to "aim" for, even if it does take a bit longer.

Paper sorry to hear you are sleeping badly too, it's horrible isn't it.

My mum has just ordered me some extra maternity clothes as an early Christmas present which is nice. As I'm at work 5 days a week I had mainly bought work dresses and now that I'm off for Christmas realised I am seriously lacking in casual maternity clothes! She is buying me three tops and another pair of jeans

Hi all, I'm an Aussie and have been following the threads, never posted before but appreciate all the support you by giving each other have given me! Can I join?

Missi, congrats on zach, sounds like a slog with all the pumping and travel to hospital. You're amazing.

Ginger and anyone with restless legs - it is a total pain, and I've only had it for a week! - my midwife & physio have told me to take magnesium in pregnancy for this. It takes some time to build up in your system, up to 2 weeks I've been told, but may give some relief straight away.

10 weeks to go and I'm counting - can't wait until I can stop carrying this baby all the time, someone else can have a hold.