March 2016 #6, we're just breeding here!

[MyNameIsSuz]

New thread, whoop whoop. Come on over!

another one terrified of giving birth here. I have an anxiety disorder anyway so it feels 10x worse for me!

My mum had quite easy births with all of us (think the longest one was about 6 hours so all quite short) and always maintains that the most painful bit was the actual pushing. But then my pain threshold is really low :S

Good luck neh!

Bloody Nora marmite! thats a big bump! BUT you are so skinny everywhere else!!

I pushed mine out within 2 minutes and am most terrified of the contractions!!

Also 22+3! not sure why it's sideways...

Oh ok its not. Will shut up now :)

I know beautiful my bump is huge . I can't work out why it's so massive, it doesn't seem to be fat but just hard lump of uterus/baby . I'm putting it down to my weak and pathetic stomach muscles.

I'm also most terrified of the contractions.. every now and then I get a flashback to DDs birth and think hmm no thank you I'd rather not haha. Oh well, not much that we can do now!

Lovely bumps ladies!! 22+ 5 here, for me that's quiet big as I used to be a size 6/8 and now I'm a 10/12! Don't mind it though love my bump :)

Wow marmite that is a seriously impressive bump! I'm two days behind you and nowhere near your size yet - I can't wait to have such a lovely big bump!

Had my regular consultant appointment this morning and was so glad to hear baby boy's heartbeat again (moving between 138 - 146; midwife thought he had hiccups whilst she was listening!) after he had a very quiet evening on Wednesday and I hardly felt him. I know there's still a lot of space for him to hide though and he was back wriggling yesterday which put my mind at rest, but hearing there's nothing better than hearing the heart beating away. Excited that I get to see him again in 2 weeks time for my growth scan.

I haven't thought much about the actual birth yet. I know I'll be induced at 38 weeks, but depending on the growth scans I might be advised to have a CS instead. So because I don't really know the method yet, I haven't given it much thought - and I'm going to keep it that way for a while longer yet I think!

I'm desperate to start buying some nursery furniture but I'm loathed to do so when there might be better offers on nearer Christmas. I like the look of the Mothercare Harrogate set which is currently on offer, but DH is telling me it is still expensive when you can get a cot for

The Pug we have Ikea Billys in the spare room with doors on the bottom half so had just decided to clear them of crap and leave them in there, presuming that small peoples clothes stay folded anyway from what I have seen of friends and families nurseries.. We have a cot given to us and I bought a changing table for £8 off ebay because IKEA dont make it anymore.. So the most expensive item relating to furniture is likely to be mattress!

I wasn't deliberately trying to be cheap but seems to have worked out quite well. I'm sure you can spend far too much being drawn into things for babies ... I suspect that's going to be me, with clothes..

Anyone got any exciting plans for the weekend? I've discovered how hideous colds can be without drugs..

We are getting a cot bed from argos -it's cream and pine, buying a drawer to go underneath and then a similar cream and pine chest of drawers from asda direct - total cost £325 including cot mattress

Pug, we won't be getting new stuff this time but last time had an under-cot drawer for blankets, muslins etc and a chest of drawers. That was enough. Definitely didn't need a wardrobe, baby clothes are wee and you wash them so much it's easier to be able to stuff them all in a drawer. No changing table either, we didn't have space, I just changed him on the floor. Safer once they can roll anyway.

My bump feels huge, I saw a girl I know today who is five days behind me and she's barely showing! It's my second though, and my stomach muscles aren't what they were. I was definitely smaller at this stage last time.

For anyone worried about birth, I had a great one! I was excited to see my baby, and it was fairly quick. Obviously it hurt, but it was manageable. If not, there are drugs for that! You only ever seem to hear horrible birth stories, but mine was really nice actually.

Milestone reached last night - felt three distinct smacks from the outside!!!

Hi all,

Sorry not been on here - had a stressful teary week in general with nerves about scan today (more below), horrible man shouting at me at work, money worries, found out will have to sell my home in the UK because bank won't let me rent it out any more and there isn't enough equity in it to switch to a buy-to let. We were hoping to come back to it in a year and won't make any money from the sale......... will be so stressful too try and manage from the US too, especially whilst pregnant

Anyway scan was mostly okay but they found a potential problem spot on her heart :( It is a calcium deposit, am too worried to google it, but doc said it can be a marker for something like Downs' or other potential developmental issues. However normally you would get another maker and everything else was perfect, plus I had the harmony test earlier which ruled out the Trisomies. So basically I have to go back in 6 weeks and hope it has gone away. Also my placenta is very close to cervix but he's confident that will move up

I have been so anxious anyway, but was hoping this scan would ease my fears and I would get excited, start buying clothes etc. However now I feel like I have to wait 6 weeks before I do that. Urrrgghh! I know people have way worse problems and everything is probably fine but I deal so badly with anxiety. To make it worse hubby is away for 3 weeks

neh hope yours went better today!

ginger so sorry you are still feeling stressed, I can totally relate! I would definitely push for cervix checks to ease your mind - I had one the other day and it only takes them 2 mins to put their fingers inside to tell that it is long and firm etc! I'm sure everything is fine though, maybe you just have an extra sensitive uterus.

Birth - argh! Can;t even go there yet!!

Oh ffaux, sounds like you're having a horrible week. It doesn't sound like the consultant was overly concerned?

That sounds so rubbish about your house, is there no other way around it? Have you approached other lenders or spoken to a mortgage broker? Is there anyone back in the UK who could help you deal with it?

Thanks everyone. Having a bad day today so can't reply individually.
I've tried everything to get a check and no one is willing. I have an anxiety disorder anyway which is hard work and feel like crap tonight. Been very teary and made my self vomit I got so wound up. Baby been kicking and oh can feel her kick to so at least I know she's ok today.
Everyone says to see midwife and ask her at next app but that's 3rd December and she's not answering my calls

Ffaux- just read your post all the way through. I'm so selfish posting mine.
I hope your ok and I hope these six weeks go quick. They didn't seem to worried though? So I hope your not I'm sure it'll all be fine xx

Oh Rosie, it's more than likely you'll be fine. But in the event that you're not, the NHS is a marvel and the baby will get out somehow! I was so thankful last time that I was in the UK and not Afghanistan or somewhere. So thankful they could stitch me up again. It'll be ok!

Ha! Yes Marmite! There were a few ideas we didn't try but it's good to be fully informed! Excellent bump too! DH just told me I look particularly pregnant this evening. I haven't felt much today (have this evening) so can only assume The Floater is lying funny.

Ffaux and Ginger sorry to hear you're both feeling upset.
A friend had something similar with her last pregnancy, Ffaux, and all was fine in the end. I'm sure yours will be too.

Ginger if you can't get hold of your midwife make an appointment with your GP. They might be able to check your cervix or refer you to someone who can. They also might be able to help with the anxiety.

Sending lots of hugs & positive thoughts over the Atlantic to you ffaux As you said, you've already had the Harmony test so it's very unlikely to be Downs. Everything crossed the next scan shows all clear. My DH works for a fee-free mortgage lender in the UK and, although he doesn't do advising anymore, he has definitely got people sorted with BTL mortgages when one lender changed their minds - maybe get in touch with them.

Ugh, meant to write mortgage broker, not lender.

Thanks indomitable. I tried my gp today who said he didn't think a bit of bleeding warranted any checking over especially as it lasted for two wipes.
I've tried them, triage, epu and feel lost tbh. I'd pay private if I could afford it.
At least baby is wriggling away and os was closed last time it happened.
On the waiting list for counselling at the moment but feels like it's taking forever

ginger sorry that you are strugling with your anxiety so much. Rubish that your midwife hasn't returned your calls! I'd second seeing your gp.
I think I had a tiny bit of spotting a couple of weeks ago, may also have been acidently wiping the against the scratch on my leg while half a sleep, after similar. My midwife was lovely as I wasn't sure if it was or wasn't spotting. Two tiny spots of blood when wiping. She said she wasn't worried if there wasn't any more spotting in 24 hours, I was feeling regular movement and no pain. She said she'd have been reluctant to check cervix when it happened after sort of dtd as it was likely to be increased blood flow to that area causing it and might tigger more spotting. Said it can happen all the way through pregnancy, really not in the mood ever with this pregnancy, (with dd poor dh was exhausted) so not likely to test it. Apparently have low lying placenta too. Also started treatment for thrush yesterday, not showing many symptoms other than a bit of irritation after wiping and yellowish dishcharge, but the nurse who I say said it might tigger spotting too. Maybe you could ask to have that checked, nurse did a quick test with discharge, like one of those new caneston tests you can get over the counter.

ffaux sorry for your worries. Two friends have had similar at their 20 weeks scans. One the spot was gone when she was rescaned. The other the spot was still there and she and her husband didn't think they'd be bringing their baby home. Their dd was born fighting fit, with a slight heart murmur that resovled itself by 6 months. The issues with the house sound very stressful too!

I'm looking forward to sleep this weekend! Dd's 3rd birthday (I'm sure she only turned 2 last week...) today. Stayed up late to finish off her cake and she wanted to get up early and we've been on the go all day. Anyone up for some mermaid cake? I seem to have over catered... we're going to be eatting it for weeks, just her arms and mini cupcake hair went. Dd was delighted with it and her scooter and baloon. Might be going to see fireworks on sunday night.

ffaux so sorry to hear about your scan. The harmony test is so accurate, so chances of being downs are next to nothing, and if it is a heart problem (which it might not be) then they'll be ready to take any action they need to when she comes out.

Ginger I second making an appointment with your GP, if you explain how much this worry is affecting your mental health then they'll probably check you just to reassure you. It's not as if it's a treatment with a cost, the gp can just do it there and then.

Thanks all for your support, means a lot! I try and be positive in front of friends and family but it's nice to be able to be honest about concerns with people who understand!

Yes the doc tried his best to reassure me that in most cases things turn out okay - he said he would advise against an amnio as there is not enough evidence to warrant one at the moment

Argh house stuff is just a nightmare as I don't have enough equity to remortgage with anyone else, and especially on a buy to let (which requires even more equity) which I would have to be since I'm not resident in it right now. I gave them my sob story about being pregnant and it being impossible to come home in March but they don't care - it's all just about money to them. Family lives 7 hour drive away so just gonna have to do this ourselves. I'm not super attached to the house it's just the stress of doing it from here and selling furniture etc. I just worry we'll come home with no house, no jobs and no savings, what a future for our little one :( I'm sure family won't let us get into dire straits though

ginger i can't believe they are so reluctant to do a quick check! I know its so hard trying to balance a trust in health professionals vs your own instincts - but if they are all saying it then they must have seen it many times and be confident it's okay. I hope you get counseling soon - I did find it has helped me with anxiety in the past, as long as they try and give you coping mechanisms. The worst is when people say to be 'just stop worrying' ..... like if it was that easy then of course I would stop!! Our minds are so powerful it's really hard to get it under control. Hope things get better for you

Thanks ladies. I did try my gp today as well but no one will do it. They won't refer me either. They told me if its a miscarriage or something happening they can't stop it and I just have to wait and see. What really upsets me is they can see I have a huge history of mental health issues as its on my records and I'm left to my self. I refuse to lie to the hospital and say I've had more bleeding to be seen as I don't believe that is right but I have no idea what to do. I can't go to a and e for two little bits of old blood. I tried triage, gp. Midwife etc no one seems to care. I've lied in bed all night just thinking and crying and baby has been kicking which I normally love but at the moment it's just a horrible reminder of how she could be ok now and then all of a sudden not ok.
I hate being pregnant. I hate it so much. All I want is a healthy baby and I keep thinking my waters will break any second. My oh wants to help me but he doesn't know what to do.

Faux- I hope your ok and thanks to everyone here.

I'm so sorry to hear your news ginger and ffaux. It must be incredibly hard for you to have to just wait and see. I'm sorry I can't offer any practical help or advice but I'm thinking of you both and hoping you can be reassured that your babies/pregnancies are healthy and well soon.

I'm on the April thread (but due early April so I like to read this thread too occasionally) so hope you ladies don't mind me posting here this once.

Ginger, just wondered if your local area has a pregnancy / postnatal mental health team who you could ask to be referred to if you want help with feeling so anxious about being pregnant? We have one in my area but I don't know if it's something that exists across the country or if it's a bit of a postcode lottery.

They are experts at helping with things like anxiety (and othe MH issues) in pregnancy and are often a lot more proactive than a GP or even regular mental health team. They can refer you to someone you can talk to about your feelings and concerns, or can suggest medication that's safe in pregnancy if you need / want it.

You've probably thought of it already, but it might be worth asking your MW or GP if there's a service like that you could be referred to. You deserve to be able to enjoy your pregnancy, not worry every minute. I hope you get some help if that's what you want and that you're able to start enjoying your pregnancy more. Take care of you and bump.

knits - of course we don't mind, welcome!

Oh ginger my heart aches and the thought of you so upset, knits has great advice and I hope you can find a professional to help. Although having a cervix check may allay your fears for that day, if you're this prone to worry then you may not stay relaxed for long and find something else to worry about (at least this is what happens to me). So that's why it's important to get some help with anxiety if you can.

This is probably crappy advice you've heard a hundred times, but things like mindfulness techniques and yoga (or yoga breathing) have helped me, along with taking some time at night to rub belly with moisturizer or nice oils to connect with baby and try and imagine positive scenarios. Putting on calming music and low lights - these little things help calm me down and focus on the now, rather than a future we can't control.

Also I try and hold on to a statistic my doc gave me at 12 weeks, where he said now the risk of miscarriage had gone down from 20-25% at conception to less than 2%. So the odds are so completely overwhelmingly in our favour that the worst won't happen and our babies will be fine. I know it's really really hard though when your mind keeps wanting to go in one direction - I was in tears and sick yesterday with fear of the scan, and oddly felt calmer today even though there was something actually spotted. It's the unknown and the fear that is crippling

Hope you have a relaxing weekend planned

on a lighter note - Dobby I think we need to see pictures of this mermaid cake - mini cupcake hair sounds like Bake Off material .....