March 2016 Babies!! Our Grape-sized babies are getting Bigger!

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Thought I'd start our new thread as the old one is full up!

marmite I'm going to mention that to my midwife on our next meeting, I understand that they need to learn but I still think it's unfair to put us in that situation, I couldn't believe it she was basically trying to tell me that something was wrong down there, I was so scared. I'll make sure that it doesn't happen again and like you said they could observe that's it!

Regarding the fear of labour, I know i'll be so scared but like you said it'll all be worth it at the end that's what i'll keep telling myself! We still have 7 months anyways to worry about it haha

Have my scan in an hour and a half and I am so nervous!!! I feel even more sick than usual and have sweaty palms. Need to keep busy to take my mind off it but I keep thinking about it. Aahh!! DH of course is cool as a cucumber and thinks I'm bonkers

maybe I was literally squeezing dp's hands lol it was so painful to watch, I couldn't imagine the pain she was going through, poor girl

I am absolutely furious!

I had told my line manager about my pregnancy due to some sickness a couple of weeks ago, advised I do NOT want anyone else to know yet after previous loss.
I have come back in today after 2 days off for grannys funeral, 1st thing our regional manager says is 'I hear congratulations are in order'

I am livid to the point of wanting to walk out now and not come back, what right does she have to share this when I asked for it to be kept confidential?!

Oh Q that's not on at all.

I definitely think you need to write a proper complaint.

I always think of that (terrible) film Knocked Up, where she's obviously pregnant but refuses to confirm it to her employers. It's none of their business until you decide you want it to be. I reckon you completely deny to anyone you please for as long as you please. No one has any right to information about your health/body/family/private life.

She hadn't even given me a head's up that he knew or anything, I've been in the same office as her since 8am and he's only arrived half an hour ago.

Know it had to have been her as she is the only person here who knows.

As far as I am concerned I wasn't going to tell anyone else here until after my 12 week scan which isn't until early September. Now I feel a bit awkward and generally just not happy. It has definitely made the decision for me not to return after maternity leave.

Oh I'm so mad!

Surely there's a breach of confidentiality in there somewhere??!!!

Q that's well annoying and out of order I'd kick a fuss about it hun!! I would say how out of order the situation is and that something private. Seriously you can't trust anyone these days!!

It is a breach of confidentiality. Which is why you should write a complaint letter to the company/HR.

Q that is shocking. Basis for a letter to HR at least, if not formal complaint / grievance. Even if she decided (wrongly) that she had to tell the regional manager confidentially on a need-to-know basis eg for resource planning purposes (though even that's tenuous as why couldn't she have waited a few weeks), then the regional manager bloke is also a muppet for saying it to you the way he did.

Here sending you lots of good vibes for the scan! X

Thanks all, I've had a sandwich and calmed down a bit.
Apparently she told him yesterday to give him a head's up as they'll have to work out what to do in the future, however I am still annoyed about it and about the way he brought it up.

It too much of a close knit office I think, I'll just know to keep anything in future to myself until I decide I want anyone to know.

Q that's absolutely shocking and you should report it to HR and raise it directly with your line manager, if you're feeling up to it.

Here best of luck for the scan, come and update us afterwards.

I'm too scared to get on the scales, maybe tomorrow morning when I should be at my lightest! I always get a raised eye brow and told my BMI is too high even when I wasn't actually carrying that much weight - I'm 6 ft tall and not a skinny minny, well I was very fit before first baby and was a healthy weight but since having my DD I've not lost the weight so am likely to gain even more, i'm trying not to stress about it but I feel literally like the hulk, not just fat but huge and solid! Hoping this exhaustion will lift and I can get back to the gym.

I too had a lovely first birth, thankfully stress and intervention free! Water birth with a bit of Gas and Air. I had weak contractions for 24 hours before they ramped up at about 10pm on a friday night, I went straight into hospital for an assessment to be told I was only 2cm (I could have died and all I could think was 'what the hell does fully dilated feel like?), I was sent home with co codamol which took the edge and went back into hospital 6 hours later when I could not bear it anymore - the contractions didn't get more painful they just got closer together and I was exhausted. I waited around for what seems like hours for someone to come and assess me and when she did she said 'OOOH we better get that pool filled as your fully dilated' I could have kissed her it as such a relief and from then on it was great, as soon as I got in the pool I needed to push, about an hour of pushing and she was out, I can honestly say yes it was painful but the pain had a purpose and it was to move that baby out so it focuses your mind! I'm hoping for this birth to be as straight forward as the last and I'm actually looking forward to it - I would take the birth over the 9 months of pregnancy any day!

I seem to write replies to conversations too late on here! Can't keep up!

Q Sorry you're colleagues are such arses I don't think people fully understand.

Not the same thing at all but my mother has been pushing me to tell the family and we are still 2 weeks from our scan! I ended up telling my mums extended family at the weekend as we were at a family wedding and won't see them again for a while and then she informs me I have to tell the otherside of the family so people don't end up finding out somewhere else! It makes me feel so uneasy and I don't want to actually tell people as I don't know how well the pregnancy is progressing until the end of the month! Oh well, part of me wishes I'd kept it all a secret but going on holiday with your parents and keeping your morning sickness a secret isn't easy!

Q I would definitely be annoyed in your position.

Post has arrived and I've finally got my scan date - 30th August. Hopefully will ne nice to celebrate and share news on the bank holiday.

Q that's awful I would definitely make a formal complaint. Early pregnancy is stressful enough without the decision of when to share it being taken out of your hands.

I agree re BMI being a waste of everyone's time and worry! At my last pg (with mmc) the midwife said they may refer me to a special unit as I was underweight...my BMI was 18.8 and I eat like a horse...I was stunned and very worried. Ended up getting into a tiz there must be something wrong with me and asked for a thyroid test a few months ago. The GP said this was a ridiculous thing to have told me and that my BMI was absolutley fine but she did the tests anyway and thyroid was fine...moral of the story is that it means nothing IMO! We are all built differently.

I don't think I'm showing that much-I wish I was! A bit fatter maybe but no bump yet :(

re the exercise if it's of any consolation, years of running, spinning and weight training haven't stopped me from looking like a whale in all my pregnancies and I have resigned to wearing maternity clothes already. I couldn't resist and popped into HM the other day just to try on some maternity clothes and they felt sooooooo comfy in the changing room that I ended up buying and wearing them ever since, including maternity underwear!! I have a 'bump' which is a bloated bulge of goodness knows what.

Q I agree re: making a formal complaint, that is really awful. Hope you are ok .

There's a thread in AIBU at the moment with people moaning about pregnant woman not being entitled to seats on the tube, how nasty!

Q I would be livid! They may have to plan etc, but not yet. That's why you don't even get a matB1 form until about twenty weeks!

I'm gonna tell my main boss and colleagues this week even though my line manager already knows, as I'm now 12 weeks. I'd be fuming if it had got out before!

sherazade Same here haha I went to H&M the other day and they had a sale on, tops were as cheap as £3 so bought loads purely because my wardrobe consists of size 8 clothes and at the moment none of my trousers are comfortable, they're sooooo tight :(

I bought some maternity leggings as I couldn't cope with my size 12's the other day and had to strip off in the living room, felt so much better! I'm in my scruffs today so lovely comfy trackie bottoms and theres much less pressure on my tummy!

I need to get some maternity jeans as I got rid of my last few pairs as the material kept getting holes between the jean and the stretchy bit where I had to keep pulling them up! Any recommendations bearing in mind i'm probably going to want a size 16 - 18 and extra long leg length? Think im might try tall girls online!

Oooooooo anyone been on NEXT online! Lots of lovely clothes! Must not buy too many clothes!!!!!!

I have a little pot belly and I feel enormous but all except my most fitted clothes are still fitting me comfortably. This is my first so hoping I won't have to spend too much on maternity clothes! I've been checking out ASOS, they have some lovely things especially for work.

RE: birth. I was induced with DD and had a 'normal' birth with only G&A. Pushed for 20 min.

I was expecting a similar birth with DS and started in the pool. Unfortunately, I had a placental abruption and ended up with a crash section under GA. It was just like OBEM - alarms going off and doctors and midwives everywhere. All was fine (once I woke up) and recovery wasn't too bad.

This time (all being well) I am going to have an ELCS!

I found work the hardest last time; a good pair of black maternity trousers, a black and a navy pair of maternity leggings and I got away with wearing a lot of my dresses but had a few nice maternity ones. I am working from home this time so can get away with pj's in the office!!!

I was heavily pregnant during all the hot weather last year and mostly lived in a pair of shorts and floaty tops (or my gym kit if I was going to walk anywhere as I would be dripping with sweat). I found a good Primark that had a few nice tops in so worth a look in there too!