Jan 2016 #8 Enjoying second trimester and 20 week scans

[BeeMyBaby]

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Blimey you lot don't half talk! I can't keep up! update from me is that I'm back home in the uk and glad to be home from our nightmare non relaxing holiday where I ended up in spanish hospital for a week with gastroenteritis on antibiotics and an iv drip..

feel so sorry for dh as this was our last holiday as a couple before baby arrives and we really really needed a week of doing nothing to get away from busy work lives and decorating our new house from top to bottom.. all we got was extreme stress and worry and our gorgeous cat (who's like a member of our family) also went missing whilst we were away so we've come back to cat hunting and a leaky roof.

The only good news is we had 3 ultrasounds in hospital to check on baby and HE is absolutely fine. yep we found out we're a member of the blue team lovely to be able to call him 'him' now instead of 'it'.

we did miss our 20 week uk scan though and have had to rearrange for next wed. my dh rang the midwife whilst we were In Spain to keep them informed and ask if we needed to ask the doctors anything about the baby whilst we were there. The midwife was beyond shocking in her attitude towards him and didn't care. didn't even ask how we were and said don't cancel your scan appointment until you Def know you can't make it as 'you won't get another one' really?! jesus i thought you'd want to get us in ASAP to check no damage had been done to baby by the unknown bacteria that had hospitalised me for a week. guess not!? my husband never wants to see or speak to that midwife again... not the reassuring response we needed when stranded in a Spanish hospital.

anyway this really isn't a 'quick' update so I apologise! thanks to those that will bother reading my endless moaning!! can't wait till I'm posting happy posts again!

Sorry you had such a terrible time of it on holiday Distracted but happy news on team Blue!!!

I just caught sight of myself in the mirror after getting out of the shower and now I'm back to feeling fat and ugly rather than pregnant - damn this stupid spare tyre B Belly!

Also my friends 14 yr old DD has been missing since 4pm yesterday.... Around 1am they had a text saying 'I'm safe leave me alone' but that's it and no idea where she is... Police have done sod all too!

distracted that is appalling behaviour by the midwife. I'm sorry you were so sick while you were away too, sounds like a nightmare and so so stressful. How are you feeling now?

sleepy that's terrible re your friend's dd. Did they argue before she left? PS I feel really flabby and awful too - I'm avoiding the mirror in the nude!

Morning all!

MissS I'm the same as you, I think I've felt baby, although it could have been wind, once or twice at bedtime but I can't be sure. Really can't wait until I have the reassurance of daily movements! I am also getting bigger by the day so plenty room for little one to swim around!

Distracted I'm sorry to hear you were poorly on holiday and about your cat. Am glad everything is ok though with your little BOY Congrats on team blue!

Gender scan tomorrow morning at 11.10am, don't think I'll sleep tonight! We went to babies r us last night and had a quick look around. I think we've decided on the Oyster Max 2 travel system and the Chiqqo Next to Me crib.

Rant alert: Don't know if I'm being super sensitive as this is my first but I'm getting annoyed at ladies who have had babies when they ask how I'm doing and I'll be honest and say "Oh I've been getting a bit uncomfortable" or "its feels like there's not enough room in there for everything" and their answers always seem to be very dismissive or patronising "oh, if you think you're uncomfortable now, just wait until you're due" or "oh you've got a long way to go..." or "oh yes, but that'll just get worse, this is the easy part of pregnancy"... Now I just find myself saying "yeah fine thanks" and smiling weakly. Feels like they don't actually really want to know how I'm getting on but just want and "in" so they can tell me how hard it's gonna get or how I've got ages to go still. And these are friends, relatives work colleagues etc, not just strangers... Am I being a bit sensitive? Just feel it's my first baby and I don't know what to expect, everyday brings something new, give me a break ffs!

coffee she'd stayed at her Dads Tuesday night and refused to come home after that, however she left her Dads saying she'd changed her mind but never went home (IYSWIM) now no one has seen her since 4pm yesterday.

Yeah I really shouldn't walk past the mirrored wardrobe after a shower

Teenie yes I find that but mainly with SIL and the biatches at work. I tend to smile and nod whilst reminding myself that, sure they've been pregnant but they aren't you or me, not every pregnancy is the same and not everyone feels the same so they've actually no idea how you're truly feeling x

omw to hospital was supposed to get an ambulance but they're too busy so dp has had to take me.. im in very bad pain in my lower abdomen.. the pain is breath taking! I nearly fainted 3 time's! I'm so scared.. lucky there's no bleeding though

Not helpful responses from your friends, Teenie but I'm sad to say they are right- it does only get worse on the discomfort front! Being full term, you just want the bloody thing out. At least we won't be heavily pregnant whilst it's hot. Small mercies.

Distracted that sounds like a horrendous holiday. Hope your new scan date goes well and they can reassure you that the bacteria don't have affected the baby.

Lily we're doing an across London drive today too. Kingston to Finsbury Park. Mean to be leaving in 6 minutes, but I'm still in my pyjamas so I can't see that happening...

X post MissMartin keeping everything crossed for you. Let us know how you get on. Xx

Fingers tightly crossed here MissS thinking of you xx

distracted so sorry to hear about your holiday and bad experience with MW. V poor level of care!
sleepy 14yo so difficult...worrying that she's not home yet and police don't care. Hope her mum's ok!
missm!! I hope your ok please keep us updated

My day consists of baking lemon tray bake and running up a pillow case for pregnancy pillow. DH away playing rugby first game of season...here comes months of never seeing him over weekends ha! But he's taking me for a thai tonight yum yum

MissS so sorry to read your post, will be keeping my fingers and toes tightly crossed that you're ok. Keep us posted. Hugs. X

Sleepy, yes it's like a loaded question isn't it? New response of "fine thanks" and smiling seems to keep the remarks to a minimum.

Juniper, I've no doubt it's gonna get worse... physically it has to really doesn't it. I've also known enough ladies that have had babies to know how uncomfortable they look later on in their pregnancy lol! It just seems like such a pointless thing to say, asking how I am like they care then almost mock me because "I've still got a long way to go"... As you say, very unhelpful... I'd rather they just didn't bother asking.

Hope all is ok MissMartin

Ditto to being annoyed by unhelpful people and their 'words of wisdom'. I often get 'oh you'll be more tired when it's here' or 'you'll never have a decent holiday again', and other crap.

Yes I know tiredness and achiness will get worse, it's just I've never been through this before so every feeling is new to me and takes a while to get used to! And as for holidays, I will have good holidays, they'll just be a bit different from now on! Places with family-friendly swimming pools, and more kids clubs and things. It's just the way it is, and different doesn't mean we won't have a nice time! Grrrrr!

Nice to get that off my chest!

thanks MrsChatty my friend is somewhat predictably going out of her mind with worry but her DD is so strong willed (takes after mum ironically!)

Sounds like we have a similar few months too... Today is first home game of season for West Ham meaning DH is there. Every summer he plays cricket (which I go to) every winter it's every other weekend alone tidying etc whilst he picks up a take away on the way in ????????

Teenie best thing is seeing them deflate a little if you say you've no problems with a big grin on your face evil chuckle

I think I'm kidding myself wearing maternity jeans today they are comfortable but when will my lovely bump come! I'm 18w tomorrow...can you see anything in my pic? Starts of a bump at all?

sleepy we will be sport widows together... In my parents house dad was not into sport at all spent every weekend with my DM and dc so I guess it's just a "different" set up for us!

MaybeMrs you've hit the nail on the head, glad it's not just me!

Sleepy will need to try that, mwahahahaha!

I read a very depressing thread on AIBU the other day. The OP asked if people would have kids again, if they could start over. Quite a lot said no

So, yes, things do change a lot when you have small children (and DD is only 22 months so I don't know what's coming!) but I wouldn't for a moment change it back to how it was. Holidays don't involve sleeping all morning and drinking all afternoon / evening, but they're lots of fun in their own way. I do miss the sleep, especially in the summer holidays...

And I think people comment like that about everything. When I say DD is a 'strong willed' little thing and has temper tantrums, people always say "ooh just wait until she's a teenager". Well, yes, I'm sure it'll be challenging in its own way, but that doesn't make it easier to peel her off a display in a crowded shop whilst she's screaming at the top of her lungs!

Sounds good to me MrsChatty lol!

And yes, there is a certain 'roundness* to yor tummy that looks more pregnancy than weight (I really didn't mean that to seem offensive by the way)

Teenie it works a treat! Despite how you're really feeling, give it a go then chuckle behind your hand when they go 'oh..... It won't last' and deflate lol!!!

Juniper that is quite sad, I mean I know I only want one but to say I'd never do it if I could go back is horrible!

Like you say, yes holidays will be different, we won't be able to snowboard all morning and sit in the après ski all afternoon but we can play in the snow, take sledge rides, teach the little un and I'm sure we'll still be able to fit a pint or 2 in somewhere along the lines. Having kids doesn't stop you from living your life it just changes they way you do it....

well I'm fine aparently.. well at least the baby is the lovely doctor asked me if I want an ultrasound to check on baby.. and there she was heart beating away .. she's facing forward now not lying side wards so she might be pressing on something but they can't tell me what the pain is for sure as long as the baby is okay then I am.. my BP was pretty low as diostolic was only 56 and I don't have any water infections.. ah well .. thanks everyone x

Glad everything seems to be reading clear for you MissS you must be quite relieved!

Glad you're ok MissMartin. Sounds like your little lady just wanted to scare you a bit!

Misss Thinking of you, hope you're ok.

Distracted Sorry to hear about your terrible holiday experience. Glad you're feeling better and little baby boy is all good too.

Teenie People just love a bit of drama. I actually really enjoyed my last pregnancy but on my last day at work I said that I was looking forward to maternity leave and then people started with their "Oh the hard work hasn't even started yet" and "Get some sleep, you won't get any till they're 15" and other such helpful advice.

If I had any advice for first time mums I'd say: "Be prepared to feel an overwhelming feeling of love, not only when you first meet them but a gradual growth of love, one that takes over everything and trust your instincts that what you are doing is just fine"

Pregnancies, births, early days, etc are all different and people's comments are just a way to pass off their own experiences and be heard, rather than actual advice. I only take note now if it's something positive. This goes for all topics, including feeding and sleeping!

And yes juniper, that is a very depressing state of affairs in AIBU (haven't read it yet though). My DS is such a gorgeous, sweet, happy little boy I'd have more of him and hopefully we'll be lucky with no.2 as well.

You do make sacrifices, mainly not having a lie-in at weekends or being able to watch whole box sets on a rainy Sunday but yes, there is so much to make up for that.

Glad you & baby are ok misss, hope you have some rest from that stress!