February '16 approaching and conquering the 12 week mark!

[haquoi123]

Stats! docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dWmvdD9SkvPQqKn7rpFHazgufmda2FOTMtL093cZFj8/htmlview

Hmm, it would seem that it is probably a good idea to take iron too, and also vitamin D.

Oh and congrats goldmaple and the others with happy scan news!

Sorry if I missed some people. My ipad is acting the maggot at the moment and I'm having to use my phone, I can't keep track!

Clara I found that despite having an office job I had to stop at 37 weeks last time. I had horrible swollen legs that just got worse and worse through the day sat at my desk. I also felt increasingly stressed by some of my colleagues. However, at 36 weeks I did a 15 hour day business trip. I planned my work so that all my important, difficult tasks were completed first, so that when I left earlier than planned it was just easy stuff left that others could do.

As for folic acid etc, are the studies based on well balanced diets? I hate pill popping and I'd much rather eat loads of the right food.

Congrats on all the scans and lovely pics!
ohjelly really hope you start to feel better soon, that sounds rough!

I vomited yesterday after a week's hiatus - stupidly brushed my teeth when I knew I felt too dodgy to get through and lost all my fish & chips down the sink. A nosebleed immediately followed and then DH and I spent half an hour trying to work out how the hell to unblock the sink with no plunger or sink unblocker. Makes for an interesting bedtime story...

Who is wishing the stalk delivering babies story is true right now?

Clara I was quite immobile by the end being on crutches from about 32 weeks.
But work itself was ok, it was the commute that I suffered on.

Having said that, I planned then (and plan to do the same this time) starting my mat leave on my due date. I then took ten days holiday before that.
I'd do the same again, as if I really struggle I can get signed off sick which if that happened after 36w you don't go on sick leave your mat leave just starts early.
Definitely check your company policy about holiday rolling allowances. I'm not allowed to roll over a calendar year. Having a February baby means I have to take all my leave before mat leave starts. I plan to fight that with HR as I will go stir crazy if I'm off that long pre baby.
Also with my first I was almost 2weeks overdue. Although it was nice to have a little bit of time at home chilling and organising, two weeks was plenty and then I started getting fed up!

Hi everyone,

Thank you for sharing your experiences of going off on mat leave...A lot to think about!!! Its so hard to know how you'll feel towards the home straight if you haven't done it before!

Its great to hear even more good scan news. I've updated the spreadsheet for goldmaple and fififolle

Scan was perfect, phone is being an ass and won't upload the photo. Due date changed to 15th Feb, 12+3 today.

Yesterday was a strange day. I was at the scan alone, and it was the due date of my December pregnancy.

Haven't had even a text from 'D'H asking if everything is alright. He went to a family BBQ on Sunday and came home reeking of beer and mouthwash. Denied drinking and spent Monday either ignoring me or being verbally abusive. Tuesday I told him I want a divorce and I haven't seen/heard from him since. Sigh. I'm 28 and married and pregnant with a very much wanted and planned baby, I shouldn't be going through this. 21 days he lasted. Even knowing I'd divorce him and he wouldn't be able to experience this pregnancy/birth/baby isn't enough to make him want to stop.

Oh dear stocking I'm so sorry I hope he gets well x

Oh stocking that sounds really rough. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this now. Especially with your due date. Is it worth seeing if there's any support for spouses, maybe AA (in making assumptions, sorry if I'm wrong)? You're right that you and the baby and your dds come first though. And I'm so glad to hear you're bubba is Ok xx

He has all that sort of support in place but doesn't use it. His family probably goaded him as usual "she's so over dramatic, you haven't got a drink problem, ignore her, just have a few, what does it matter, miserable cow" well when we can't pay rent because he's blown his wages on beer (just one example) then yes it is a problem. The very first time my back is turned and he's drunk. I'm devastated, I truly believed he had turned a corner more fool me He has the tools, but I can't force him to pick them and use them. If he can't get motivated for his unborn child then he'll never get motivated. He's a waste of space. I'm so cross because he's already lost one son (4 weeks, SIDS) and he knows the pain of missing out, so you'd think he'd work his arse off to avoid that again. Apparently not it seems we just don't matter to him. I'm beyond humiliated because I took him back against all advice and he's done it again. I'm going NC with him.

stocking I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

My first husband was an addict and it took me ages to go. I kept thinking he would turn things around. Unfortunately though, he was also abusive so in the end I had to get DD and myself out of there.

I was 29 when we split. It'll be 10 years ago this autumn. I have never, ever, once regretted leaving.

Oh stocking I'm so sorry. That sounds very hard and really not what you need to be dealing with right now. I am on your behalf. I'm so glad the scan was OK.

stocking I am so very sorry for what you are going through but glad your scan was good and sorry it was on your due date.

There was someone on here who like me tries to use organic products but I can't remember who, I found a new company on Achica today called Little Green Radicals, they sell organic baby clothes and organic baby skincare products. Could use the skincare products on your bump, I've ordered some. 25% discount on Achica and if you PM me I can give you a link for £10 off.

Stocking don't feel humiliated - I'm sure most of us have stayed in a relationship which people warned us about - I'm guessing you thought/hoped it would change, that's a reflection on you not wanting to give up! (As a positive thing!)

You know have done the right thing and you will thank yourself

quackers you might want to check that with Maternity Action or ACAS. I'm pretty sure they have to let you carry over untaken annual leave if the reason you haven't taken it is because of maternity leave. A lot of employers don't understand or keep to the law though. I used to work in this area but a a bit rusty - definitely, definitely worth getting advice about it though.

quackers I do the HR stuff for the company I work for and although we have a no roll over policy for holiday allowance we do allow it for maternity leave and we also pay for bank holidays. We just decided it wasn't worth having grumpy employees returning from maternity leave resenting being back at work. Some companies will let you take untaken holiday as a payment in lieu instead, DH's work does.

Just been catching up - no signal at my parents in Cornwall! So lovely to see more happy scan news - congratulations all!

Stocking that sounds very stressful & just what you don't need at the moment - vent away on here and we will always listen & help where we can x

Yep, just found this:
"While on maternity leave, employees continue to build up their holiday entitlements just as they would if they were absent due to illness. If they can't take all the leave they're entitled to during a particular year, they can carry it over to the following year. Many employers allow employees to add all of their annual leave on to the beginning or end of the maternity period."

From ACAS www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4289

They have to let you have your annual leave.

stocking I meant support for you, sorry that wasn't clear. Thinking of you x

Times like these, rally, I wish I wasn't self employed. Too scared to look at SMA, I think my unpaid summer holiday (everything is school based) has scuppered my chances...

Stocking, you shouldn't have to put up with that.

What do people's employers do about time off for ante-natal appointments? Mine expect me to make the time back up, but I thought they had to offer paid time off for ante-natal appointments and it's not exactly time off if I have to make it back up again. This wasn't a problem with dd as I always worked late anyway, but it'll be difficult to balance work and childcare this time.

littleoak yes you are entitled to paid time off for your appointments and therefore no you don't have to make it back up. Your work is wrong! Men can only take time off for 2 appointments, which is normally the 12 and 20 week scans!

www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights