Jan 2016 #7 - headaches and exhaustion but 1/3 through

[BeeMyBaby]

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12-46WHExOXbKsKon2nKyEth9RRyKw9paIw4V4SGTFE8/htmlview?pli=1

Pug i'm sorry i've nothing constructive to add but i'm just throwing my support in there too

Brickie how long has you been temping? the Council i am at gives full rights if you have temped for 6 months and over. (I'm perm anyway but just checked)

I have my extra BP appointment tonight (6.30pm) to see if we can prove the consultant wrong and get me off these bloody horrid tablets, fx pleasde guys lol

So sorry others are going through the same. I've hardly slept and feel massively stressed out by it all. I just never ever thought this would happen to me in a million years.

Don't know what to do. No idea when I will get a resolution either.

2 years sleepy and legally they don't have to make it permanent for another 2
Had gp' s appointment this morning and he advises that due to me still bleeding and my work being quite physical I should be signed off so as not to risk the pregnancy. I get that and realise it's the most important thing but it does mean being off with no pay which isn't fantastic. I've left it for the minute and will see the consultant after my scan tomorrow before coming to a final decision. Being off again may mean that they decide not to renew my contract but being that I'm going to have to get maternity allowance from the government rather than maternity pay from them I don't suppose it makes such a huge impact in the long run.
On the movement front...I've been feeling small movements since 12 weeks but now at 17+4 I feel strong movement every day and dh even felt squirming last night when he had his hand on my belly
Good luck with the bp appointment sleepy and remember you can ask for a 24 hour monitor if you believe the environment or stress of having it taken is giving a false reading.

Good luck sleepy

And brickie what an awful position for you to be in. It does seem very wrong that you don't have the same rights after two years.

Good luck sleepy also brickie for tomorrow. Gosh, so many of us with such a lot going on. Such a rubbish situation for you brickie - is it really the case that they don't have to pay you any stat sick pay? I thought the law had changed on temp workers although thinking about it think that related to holiday pay.
pug I'm not surprised you feel so awful, it is a horrible thing to have to deal with. I'm glad your mum is able to advise you and help you - I think many employers just get away with as much as they can on the basis that they assume people don't fully understand their rights or won't check.
I told my boss - he said 'these things happen'
Glad it's out in the open now and I can take my jacket off at last - I have been boiling over the past few wks!

Sending you a hug pug, glad you're writing the letter. It's hard to know what to do in these situations, I feel so exposed at work now, not to mention paranoid. My ceo and line manager are both on holiday at the moment, we have a major issue with a project where there are some politics by people more senior than me, emailed and text them both (afraid that if I didn't I'd be criticised), but no response from either - are they isolating me to blame me or refusing to support me now. Probably paranoia! But I'm going mad.

Trying to focus on exciting things like gender scan this weekend, I still think it's one of each! Can't wait now

Brickie how awful. It's added stress you don't need
romeo what a terrible reaction! My boss was great.

My hormones are crazy. 16+2. Last night had serious red mist rage just couldn't calm down was so angry. Today speaking to a client who was complete toss-pot literally couldn't keep it together had to get my manager to speak to them while I left the room sobbing. Thankfully client was on phone not face to face! Managers all being nice but I feel
DH just booked himself for shark diving for when we go to South Africa...I feel sick at the thought...but I'm being booked in for spa treatments while he's doing that...what a nutter

My boss asked me if my maternity leave start date was something he was supposed to have any input with. I don't think he was trying to mess me around, I think he genuinely doesn't know how any of this maternity stuff works (I'm the only woman likely to have a child in the company so he's not handled it recently).

I told him, I think I have to give a certain amount of notice (28 days) assuming my hand isn't forced by ill health, but that it was up to me. Of course I'll give him as much notice as I can, but if you think about it, how can the employer have any say over when maternity starts? He can't know how pregnancy is affecting me and work. I'm not wrong am I?

No you're right, it's up to you. But if you want to use AL before mat leave I think technically they could not approve it, but that would be pointless if you just started may leave earlier and took the holiday before then too, they'd have even less of you

Edgar in my company (council) you have to give noticed of your intended mat date no later than 11 weeks before the esitmated week of childbirth (EWC). They can only force me to take early mat leave if i am ill during last 4 weeks of pregnancy - not sure if thats a standard thing for all companies though.

I have warned my boss i intend to take A/L from 23/12 - 13/1 and then start mat leave on 14/1 which is EDD.

She's fine with that (incidentally - i really feel for all you guys having trouble with bosses, mine threw her arms round me and yelled congratulation, fantastic news i'm so excited for you'!!)

thanks for the good luck wishes folks - leaving work around 3pm to get home in good time and have a bit of a chill beore the test.... actually really nervous in case it confirms HBP

I really feel for everybody having work problems at the moment. You just don't need it and, if you're anything like me, your emotions are all over the place anyway.

I'm feeling really lucky as it's the school hols at the mo, the sun's out and I've been enjoying lots of time walking in the park and beach with my 3 DS. It's their DS/Xbox time now so I'm making the most of the peace.

Had my mw apt today and it was lovely to hear the baby's heartbeat as I really haven't relaxed in this pregnancy. I'm still a knicker checker and I can't see it changing at all.

Haven't been on in a while, this thread moves so quickly it's hard to keep up!

I think i've felt some movement, kind of like waves instead of actual kicks. Mainly when i'm sat still. DH cant feel it yet he's very dissapointed!

As for sleeping arrangements, i'm looking at the following options:

• Moses Basket downstairs (already have one, given to us last year by a friend, will get a new matress) and a chicco next to me for upstairs. This is my favourite option.

• Moses basket upstairs and carrycot from pram downstairs

• Big cot in our room with sleepyhead in it. I like the look of the sleepy head but I really want to breastfeed and I think the chicco will help with that the most.

On the subject of feeding, have your DH's expressed any opinions on the way you want to feed. I want to give bf a good go, I understand that not everyone can and in no way see it as 'second best' having to give formula. DH is happy with this, but every time we discuss it he says that he doesn't want all the night feeds to be down to me, he doesn't want me to wear myself out, he wants to do his fair share etc.

While thats admirable, does giving formula or expressing from the start have any negative effects on your supply? I'm happy for him to do his fair share, but not if it means it damages my supply. I really dont know why I feel so strongly about bf but every time he mentions giving formula if i'm knackered, I feel a little... I dont know, offended/worried? Probably not the right word, but hopefully you get the idea.

loveulotslikejellytots my husband doesn't want me to b/f. But it doesn't bother me, although if you really want to b/feed I can understand how maybe you'd feel slighted? Is that the right word?

I've always felt that I don't really want to either, numerous reasons really. My mum had my brother when I was 15, and I recall clearly the health visitor forcing him onto her when she said she just couldn't do it, and her crying from the pain. She fed him until he started solids iirc and yes it got easier, but I'm under no illusions it's a walk in the park. I also have three horses and don't fancy physical work mucking out, hauling haynets, water etc mid winter whilst feeling like a milk cow. Anyhow.... I now feel like I'm happy to give it a go initially so baby gets the colostrum, and see what happens. If I don't take to it I will not be upset or disappointed as I have never really seen myself b/feeding, and if I do, then great.

But husband feels very strongly that he wants to share the load and feels if I b/feed it will be all on me. Of course we've discussed that I can express, but well I'm keeping my options widely open and won't be disappointed either way. I'm actually pleased he feels so strongly about sharing the load, and my main priority is the three of us are happy and have a routine that works for us

Told work today :) Just about the baby, not about the Down's Syndrome because I'm not ready to share that yet but it was nice to announce. I'm a home-worker and only in the office 2 mornings a month which is why I've left it till now - my boss is actually my Dad so he already knew and of course I have no worries about work (but as I'm a part time worker I don't earn enough for SMP anyway so will only get MA).

Everyone was pleased, at least outwardly - I only started there at the beginning on April and do a job that no one else wants and that it won't be possible to bring in outside cover for so I'm sure a couple of them sighed inwardly at the news but they were nice to my face anyway :)

What sleepy described is the legal position on giving your employer notice (I actually thought it was by the 25th week but stand corrected on that). They should assume you are taking a full year unless told otherwise and you have to give eight weeks notice of your return date if you intend to return before then.
jellytots I have never formula fed and never really given a bottle as found the faff of expressing just not worth the hassle. To me, the benefits of BF were always that it was instant and without fuss and I know it means you have to do all feeds but I would wake for the baby in the night even if it was DH feeding them a bottle so doubt it would have eased things much for me. I know sharing the feeding works well for many couples though. Giving a bottle whether it be formula or expressed will have an impact on supply but if it is a regular thing your supply will just settle into that - I think my issue was that it was never a regular thing so I ended up with oversupply if I replaced boob with bottle. It is a big commitment not being able to leave the baby if you don't get them to take a bottle of some form but I found in reality the times I wanted to leave them was few and far between and mine were both quickly into a routine of feeding every 4 hours and stopped night feeds after 3 ish months so I could leave them
If I really needed/wanted to. I probably would feel very differently if I had been feeding on demand. Not sure if any of that answers your questions!

loveulots I loved bf, I did every single feed till my son was 14 months old. It was hard but I got very used to always being the one to get up. I also like the Chicco nect up me for that reason. DH used to do the nappy changes. It really isn't worth adding any formula or pumping or introducing a bottle for at least a month so that u can get your supply up. Also babies can get confused with breast and bottle.
Btw there were times when everyone told me to give up so that I could get more sleep and I felt very very upset by this. It was a personal feeling and we both found the right time to stop. Do what is right for u xxx

Jellytots-I will be bf (or attempting to) I fed dd until 20 months and she only weaned a couple of months ago and I miss our cuddles..

I wasn't overly bothered about bf dd just thought I'd give it a go and see what happens. My mum couldn't be so I knew it wasn't always straightforward. But there's loads of help out there.

Dh wasn't bothered either way, but he was massively involved in newborn days and all night wakes. Nappy changing and settling her whilst I did the feeding bits. He slept whilst I fed and I slept whilst he settled her, worked well for us and he now has an amazing bond with her.

Using formula from the start can cause confusion between bottles and breast so it's advised against, but my dd never really took to a bottle at all! She refused point blank after about 8 weeks. Formula can also impact supply so it's usually advised to combi-feed after 6 weeks, but someone else might be able to advisebetter who has combi fed

Sorry to post and run - so much to catch up on! - but I read on another thread that Mamas & Papas do a personal shopper service (not sure if it's for first timers only or all parents-to-be) which offers advice on everything you may need to buy, no obligation to do so, and a goody bag (yay). Can't speak for whether it's any good or a total con but thought I'd share while I remember!

Just Google M&P personal shopper

I'm in two minds about BF... On the one hand (and I know I could get slaughtered for this) the thought of it turns my stomach. I hate the idea and it just makes me want to hold my boobs.
I think his is mainly due to the fact my mum couldn't bf me, we both got very stressed and she was in so much pain and was made to feel the worst mother in the world so all I anticipate is pain.

Imon the flip side I know the first 2 weeks are the most important so hopefully I can at least find it in me to do those 2 weeks of nothing else...

Sorry if that offends anyone.

Good luck tomorrow Nightfall. Hope everything goes well with the scan and you enjoy seeing your little one at this stage; hopefully you'll have a clear view of bubba doing loads as it seems far harder to tell what is what at 20 weeks!

So sorry to hear about your baby, Penelope I was meant to get antibiotics in DD's birth but they kept fobbing me off. Eventually, they put the line in about 5 minutes before she was born. She got Strep B but, luckily, it only manifested itself as a severe nappy rash. I didn't find out it was Strep B (I was told it was Strep A) until last week, after I requested the print out of the results from the GP. At my booking in (about 6 weeks ago), the midwives said I won't be getting antibiotics this time. Now I know DD had Strep B I will be fighting tooth and nail for them! Problem is, her swab was taken when she was 22 days old so they might claim it's late-onset and so nothing to do with the mismanagement of my labour. The rash had been bad for weeks before the GP did the swabs, but that's only my word. I'm seeing the obstetrician on Friday so will be fighting the battle then. Hopefully s/he'll be more reasonable than the midwives.

In other news, I had a experience the other day. We've just got back from holidaying in Majorca, and I developed thrush on Wednesday. Trying to get cream was not fun. Definitely tested my Spanish! Why can't they just sell it on the shelf like they do here?! Unfortunately, it now appears I have a bladder infection so I've got antibiotics. GP is also sending off sample to test for GBS- if it's positive, at least I won't have to battle about having the antibiotics. Silver linings...

On the plus, I've had quite a lot of movements in the last few days

15+2

I had very similar experience to tonic and Romeo. At night dh picked up the baby, did nappies and I just lay in bed with the boob. Worked great. If he'd ever done an odd bottle at night I would have had to get up to pump anyway as otherwise my boobs would have been agony. The odd night when DS slept longer at night they were rock hard and painful to touch by morning. It would only have worked if dh had done the same night feed every night. We never felt dh missed out on bonding at all, and in terms of helping out, I'd have much rather he took a fussy baby for an hour or two while I napped in the day. I found night feeds easy but then mine just woke, fed and went straight back to sleep.

I definitely would like to breastfeed.. im not a 'breast is best' kinda girl but i really want to give it ago.. im going to buy the lansinoh double pump aswell so that dp can join in i think feeding is a very bonding time with baby and i would hate to take that away from him, also its alot cheaper.. ready made & in think much easier for night feeds i can just roll over and whip my boob out haha im dreading the much talked about pain though

Agree totally with Alhoa. Remember as well that your hormones while BF will mean you find you fall back to sleep really easily after night feeds. I used to have some crazy dreams with my DD about falling asleep feeding the baby (that did happen more than once) then wake up in a panic about where she was only to sit up and see she was safely asleep in her Moses.
MissMartin don't worry about the pain. It does hurt at first while your nipples toughen up but after that (probably first week or so iirc) any pain is more than likely due to poor latch or the baby having undiagnosed tongue tie etc so in that case don't be afraid to seek help. You can get these great packs to stuff in the freezer or in hot water to stick in your bra to help with the Dolly Parton size boobs when your milk comes in. Honestly, I know this is only my experience but it is fine.

Well ladies....

Just got back from GP. BP is higher again(!) at 130/110

GP wants me to give the tablets another go then see them again for another BP test next week.

As my BP was fine before BFP and there's currently no protein in urine they think I could be Gestational a Hypertension and depending on next weeks results, want me to consider going off sick!

I really don't want to do that.

Came home and burst into tears...

awwh noo! sleepy yeah take some time off work to rest up and de-stress.. sounds like you need it hun x