February 2016 Babies - The time for scans is fast approaching!

[jellypi3]

Stats here :) docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dWmvdD9SkvPQqKn7rpFHazgufmda2FOTMtL093cZFj8/htmlview

Hi ladies,
I am a prolific over-thinker at the best of times, but today I have really backed myself into a corner with it and even though this baby is someone me and DH have wanted desperately, and been ttc for months to get, I am full of doubts.

What if I am a rubbish at being a Mum? What if I hate being a Mum and regret having the baby? What if the baby doesn't like me? What if my relationship with DH gets ruined by all the stress involved?

My DH is categorically NOT an over-thinker and just doesn't get it, when I said I was doubting myself he just basically said "you're overthinking, it'll be fine" and gave me a hug... Which normally would help, but at the moment I am so emotionally up and down with hormones that I can't get a grip on whether I am being sensible or neurotic!! I don't want to bring it up with him again because it'll make him really worry about me.

Someone talk me down please. Or slap me. Or something! HELP!!!!

Banana to me the very fact that you're worried about these things tells me you'll be a great mum. I think we all think like this at times. I have a DS and a DSD but am still worried about whether I can do this again.

I honestly think the huge hormone rush we are all getting at the mo is a contributor to these feelings

Thanks Isla I think you're probably right about the hormones (slaps self).

Thanks primary, yes it's a private one, still no letter from the nhs and I'll be 12 weeks at the weekend. Tbh I'm angry that I am having to pay for what everyone else gets for free but secretly quite looking forward to going to a posh private clinic

Banana everything you're saying is totally normal. You WILL be a great mum. YES, it will change your relationship with dh but I promise you it will be the best decision you ever make.
I have similar worried about this pregnancy, such as how will it effect dd. I also worry about having left it late to have children (35 when I had dd, 38 when I have this one). My own mum died very young but she had me at 25 so I had ten more years with her than I would have with my children. Gosh that is so morbid! Sorry, it's just on my mind a lot recently.

seconding mayflower - the fact you are thinking about those worries means you care and that is definitely the essential foundation of a good parent! All the other stuff you will pick up along the way with experience etc!

mayflower thats shocking! What wouldve happened if you couldnt afford it?! At least you can, is it the normal 12w one or are you having harmony testing or something aswell?

Hey y'all. I've not posted since the new thread started. I was about to but then Jennergate kicked off .

I'm feeling perpetually nauseous and I can't seem to find what I fancy so I am consuming vast amounts of carbs.

Empathising with all those having relationship woes. Nothing major here but we are way more bad tempered than usual. We had a row about bulk buying dishwasher salt yesterday .

I am having a major dilemma over the Harmony test. Do we or don't we? I just can't decide. I am 37. Any opinions?

Banana I think it just shows that you are entirely realistic about the life change that is to come. That's a good thing and means that you will be super prepared. I was blissfully optimistic when I was pregnant with DS, wowzer I got a shock. With DD I certainly had my doubts but I think that actually helped me prepare.

Unfortunately mayflower I think that is increasingly common. NT scan is usually offered between 12+2 and 13+6 (ish). My area are apparently running behind and so mw told me not to chase until I get to 13+2! Crazy!

Last time, despte going to gp to register pregnancy at 5 weeks and booking at 8 weeks, my NHS scan date was not until I was 14w and so too late for nuchal.

Anyway - scan on Saturday? That's exciting! Very jealous. I hate being at the back of the month...far too easy to get jealous! :-)

Thanks everybody, you've really helped me . I think I need to be more gentle with myself with all these hormones flying about.

Hello, may I join you.
Due on 18th Feb. I have a 2.5yo DD. She was a traumatic birth. I've just had my booking in appointment at the midwife and in my file the midwife had the graph paper from my DD's birth. It was so reassuring to see it. It answered so many questions. It is amazing how resilient babies are. Her heart rate dropped for 16 mins prior to birth and yet she's perfect, clever and beautiful. Seeing that graph paper did make the booking in appointment a bit emotional.

Banana. I've had the same thoughts before and after falling pregnant and as others have said, I think they're perfectly natural! It's not fun when your head is spinning though. If you can, I recommend a walk in the fresh air, or a swim or whatever else you would normally do to clear your head.

Thanks for the sympathy quack. I hope your symptoms don't reappear. I'm walking like an old man at the moment. It would be funny if it wasn't so wincing-ly sore!

Welcome to the thread Polyethyl! Feel free to add your details to our stats sheet (you don't have to, its just a bit of fun and helps us remember who's who). The link is in the original post by Jellypi.

Primary I'm having the twelve week scan, nuchal and bloods. Raah I'm also 37, but have decided to wait for the results of the combined test before considering the harmony.

Quack I think that's what's happening here too. Obviously my age has not been factored in at all. It's not good is it? I hope you get yours through soon.

Welcome Poly, and anyone else I have missed.

primary your employer should fix the problem! Esp if it affects your mat leave. Do they know you are pregnant/leaving? They might not know it matters so much...

I have a scan today!! In just a bit. Getting nervous!

banana it is definitely the hormones and extreme tiredness! And it is perfectly normal to think you've made a huge mistake for the first six weeks or months (at least I did!!)

Welcome to all the new ladies! May was a busy month!

Afternoon all.

Had my booking in appt this morning. Mw was really kind and talked through my previous history, asking how I was.

I brought up about wanting an ECLS and my reasons and she stopped me and said "you don't need to justify, looking at your past history I completely agree" I was gobsmacked.

Always though the c word was a dirty word for community midwives

She did mention I have an increased risk of downs because of my age I kind of knew that but even so.

She said as long as my nuchal measurement was over 1.150 - anything below was a risk.

If below. 1.150 then we will pay for Harmony test before doing the NHS route. She advised that the amniocentesis had a lower miscarriage risk so if I had to have further tests, that's the one to go for. Only thing is, it's slightly later in the pregnancy

So that was the only blip in my booking in appt. I won't lie, I am so anxious about my scan on Monday

Oh and I also have to refrain from sex until after 20 wk scan.

If I have a stitch it will be nada for whole pregnancy

Brummiegirl I hope you've got a nice weekend planned to take your mind off the wait.

I hope your scan goes well goldmaple

I thought they were more concerned about nuchal measurements being too high rather than too low brummie? There's another blooming thing to worry about! Glad they were cool about the cs thing though - I was ready to argue too, but my mw just said my case was as cut and dried as they come and no one will ask me to justify it. Such a relief isn't it?

banana - becoming a mum will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but it will also be the best. Whether it clicks instantly or whether it takes a while, it will be the most amazing kind of love you've ever known. It's entirely normal to worry about it though - it's such a step into the unknown.

no sex????? does that exclude orgasms?!!

Rally I think that Brummie meant that if the risk of the baby having down's syndrome (after the combined test) is a higher chance than 1 in 150 then she would progress to Harmony. Correct me if I am wrong Brummie. I am inclined to wait and see what the risk is after the combined but then facing a two week wait for the Harmony results and possibly having to wait until 16 weeks for amnio....I don't know! And it's all hormonal guess work at the moment anyway!

Oooofff. Just mowed the lawn, done 2 loads of washing, hoovered the house and done all the washing up! How hot can I have my bath??!!
Still minimal side effects here at 9+4 - I'm panicking a bit

Ps banana yes your life and relationship will change, but you'll have made a human! (Who incidentally is programmed to love you) In my line of work I see absolutely shocking parents, so the fact you're worrying about it shows you're going to be better than a lot out there!xx

Congratulations badgie !

banana I'll just echo what everyone else has said. Hormones are bound to play a large part in any rogue negativity that comes up, but the fact you are questioning everything just means you are conscious of what a big deal this all is, which is a good thing.

And your baby will definitely like you They will like you so much that they will need to follow you into the loo, frequently.

banana I'm the same, plagued with doubts and worries.

I'm having a cap day here, my boiler is making horrible sounds so I've had to turn it off and it looks like we'll need a new one, financially it couldn't have come at a worse time. We still owe £1500 for our honeymoon, I owe my parents £2300 because my car died, and now I need to find few thousand for a new boiler

Crap not cap!

brummie due to bleeding, cervical stitch, early labour, I was on a shag ban from 28 weeks with DD1. Including orgasms. Tbh, the last thing exDP and I had on our minds was a shag, it just didn't enter our heads to be bothered by it considering all the difficulties in the pregnancy. DD1 has just turned 7 and is perfectly fine

goldmaple she does know and shes great about it - it isnt her fault its definitely hmrc because i filled out all of the applications for her because she didnt understand the process (i am a nanny so not a "proper" workplace as it were)

so i have now had my 2nd booking in app, unfortunately for me they couldnt offer me a scan until later than the first hospital but WOW the quality of care between the 2 midwife teams is shocking!!

If i was staying here in manchester i would deffo go with st marys - they talk you through all the notes, risks, scans/checks etc and are really sympathetic about worries and anxieties and encouraging you to get referrals for help with smoking/anxiety/depression/whatever if you need it.

Wythenshawe on the other hand - very dismissive, nothing explained, "well tbh if you are going to miscarry itll happen whether you find out by bleeding or a mmc so theres no point in us giving you an early scan", in and out in 10 mins, didnt even go through the notes with me despite there being sections i didnt know how to complete!

brummie im glad your midwife was reassuring and listened to you, fx for you on your scan! Im sure this time it'll be your take home baby :)