August 2015 Part 4

[Dani240]

New thread for all of us August ladies!

Stats here: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1e5Gsaz5GkI6o2FYxLVvBi29zs83njdtn6giWBNAkGJM/edit?usp=sharing

Afternoon! Oh girls the breastfeeding class was totally not what we were expecting, should have listened to you panpipe!! I thought it would be a bit more practical to be honest – not as in whop your boobs out and use dolls for practise or anything but i'm not sure – just wasn't really that informative. I guess until you try you don't know but I don't think the lady running the class wasn't that good (it was a different person from our usual NCT teacher), she kept banging on about these breastfeeding support groups in Lewisham (where she lived) and we all live in Lambeth. Some people asked some really good questions and it was like she either wasn't listening or just didn't know the answer so would skirt around the subject. She even laughed at one person who asked whether you should give babies water which i thought was rude, every question is so valid as we're all first timers!
Claire - don't feel bad about breastfeeding! You have to do what's right for you too! I really hate the 'hierarchy' (not the right word to use but you know what I mean hopefully) girls end up putting towards each other, those that bf/those that don't, those that have an epidural/those that don't etc etc – as long as everyone has healthy, happy babies – along with being a healthy, mum – isn't that the best outcome?!

Frolicacid: I knew because I know everything mwahaha! No, I think you mentioned in another post you were waiting until Monday for your next fix!
How lovely that this is your last full week! Do you feel like it's come around really quickly?

Dozygirl – oh aren't you lovely. Honestly i'm really not a lovely caring person lol!! I think you girls do far more for me! I don't know how i'd have got through the first few months without you all. Being made redundant was so shit so it's been absolutely brilliant to have all you lovely lot to talk too! None of my close friends have kids so there's no one really to share all this with. I can't wait until we all have our babies, I guess we move onto a postnatal thread then?! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LOL, I NEED ALL THE ADVICE I CAN GET!!
We can't get a chair in our nursery lol! I've always thought those glider chairs are ridiculously comfortable and if we had the space i'd love one, you could always try ebay local or gum tree – I think pinkie got an absolute steal!!! On another note, glad you're getting the refund on the party bags!!

panpipe: no tips for leftie sleeping, i'm far more comfortable on my right! Oh to be able to sleep on my front again!!! I do try and just wedge myself in with pillows and I also have a 'boppy' pregancy pillow which is shaped like a kidney bean but inevitably spend most of the night tossing and turning.

*pinkie87(-don't be apprehensive about NCT, ours has been really good honestly! I hope my bf comments don't put you off! Overall we've learnt SO much, we still have a couple of classes left yoo!
The gro swaddles in TK Maxx were £3.99 each which I thought was really good! The print on them is little elephants which go with all the other safari kind of stuff I been collecting lol. A while ago I did nearly buy these from john lewis – www.johnlewis.com/store/gro-swaddle-bear-swaddle-baby-blanket-pack-of-2-white-multi/p1627107?navAction=jump&_requestid=608170, popped in store and the same thing was only £15, so worth shopping around for.

Redsparklyshoes – woohoo for head down!! well done you!! hope it stays that way :D

happygojo – OMG WOMAN TURN THE AC ON NOW! That is beyond crazy for he/she to turn it off!! I hope your personal confrontation goes/went ok today. Fingers crossed you can a scan appointment quickly so it's a weight off your mind.

I can't believe tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter...

Oooooh-emmmm-geeeee!! I knew heat and pregnancy didn't mix but I didn't realise it was like this!!!! All those models showing off the effortless cool of maxi dresses and sandals clearly didn't have chub rub or swollen feet did they?!
Normally I feel guilty being indoors in lovely weather but I just cannot hack it. I took the dogs out for a very slow 20min waddle this morning and I was dripping with sweat, it wasn't even 11am! I really hope you've all managed to stay cool and comfortable.

My ankles/feet are tingling with the swelling and heat - not fun. Just a reminder to you guys to keep an eye on the type of swelling you've got - pitting oedema isn't good!

Happy - I really hope you've wrestled that git and got the AC back on!! And that your scan and consultation were ok. You're being a right trooper dealing with all this whilst nailing the whole pregnancy thing.

Joskar (and other bra commentators) - I'm aiming to get some hot milk bras too!! Glad to know they've got a good rating from you as they're not cheap. I personally hate non-underwired bras so I'm thankful that so far the under wires on mine have caused no worries at all. I'll be leaving nursing bra shopping til after I've had her though as boobs will change so much after milk comes in, and whether or not you decided to BF.

Pinkie - that chair sounds lovely! I'm still holding off on buying lots of nursery stuff until after we have moved. I have no idea what the layout of the new house and it's rooms will be like so I'll have to wait until I can see it - then it's going to be a shopping spree!!!

Claire - I'm the same with sleeping, but now I've resigned to minimal sleep at night with top up naps during the day. Could be a good training plan for what is to come too!!! But making a pillow nest does help.

I'm lucky that I don't have the toilet frequency of you ladies (probably jinxed myself now!) but I think that's because she's still riding high and probably breech - oh well I have another MW appt tomorrow to check her position so we'll see!!

Red - that's great that you're now in the 'go' position!! I could bloody murder an ice lolly right now!!

Fanby - you're posts are indeed wonderful!!! Sorry the BF class was a bit pump. I've not been to any antenatal classes but did go to a BF workshop. It was ok and they did at least give clear instructions how to latch on etc but the detail was minimal. However, it did ease the ickiness I had in my mind of breastfeeding, I found it hard to get over the thought of baby being on nipples it husband being on nipples if you know what I mean. Randomly what helped was that the lady taking the workshop said "so baby shouldn't ever even touch the tip of the nipple as it should disappear back into their mouth" and for me it made it ok. Random I know!!

And yes to post natal groups - I know the Facebook group is popular and busy but due to DH's job I can't really make FB friends with people I don't actually know in the flesh, sounds silly I know since I've just discussed nipples in the post, but these threads are so helpful to me it'd be crap if you all buggered off!!

God I'm sweaty!! It's saying we're at 28 degrees here in the south west!
Fuck it, I might go and crack out a magnum!!!

Hey everyone! Sorry I comoletely disappeared. Been catching up with all your posts. I've had a really horrid few days. Wondering if anyone at a similar stage to me has experienced what I have? I'm basically just going to repost something I put in Childbirth forum earlier. In gutted that both my options for birth have now been advised against, with no indication afyer all this time that I needed to watch my weight. My anxiety is getting really bad and I keep blaming myself for putting too much weight on - it's been two stone. I'd really appreciate anyone's thoughts. It's making me lose all the excitement about the birth and I just feel really depressed about it all. Thank you! Huge long post below:

Looking for some advice. I'm 35 weeks and my BMI has gone from 30.7 at booking in to 35 now. All along I've wanted to use the MLU or think of a home birth - is first DC.

At my 34 week midwife appointment, I was weighed and talked about the MLU or home, and midwife didn't say I was too heavy now. When the home birth midwife came to see me a week or so later to discuss, I did ask about MLU again and she said my BMI was now 0.7 too high and I wouldn't be able to use it! She also said she thinks it's too high that they would advise against a home birth.

Shouldn't they take booking in BMI into account for this? I'm really upset as I wanted to avoid labour ward as much as possible - I get very anxious and have read too much about high stats for needless interventions on wards. I am hopefully going to see the midwife who manages the birth centre and home birth team but wondered if I had any argument about them using my booking in weight for the MLU?

I'm over 6ft so my BMI always seems a bit out of whack, I'm measuring bang on in number of weeks, I do t have any of the risks associated with high BMI - it's really stressing me out and upsetting me. I know I can just insist on a home birth, in fact the midwife who came to see me has no problem with it, she just has to refer me to the manager, but I think with my anxiety I wouldn't want to if it wasn't officially given the ok.

Just not sure what I can do about it.

Argh!! Just lost a massive post!

Ok hi Shantotto - sorry you're bummed out about this situation. Although you said it in your post, you are totally within you're rights to request a home birth, regardless of what the MW wants you to do. It's entirely your choice.

In my area having a bmi over 35 means your consultant lead rather than mlu, so maybe it's encouraging that you're still in the running for mlu. What is your actual anxiety about being on a ward?
Those stats of high rates of intervention are rarely in regards to BMIs or under 40, and mostly they are due to preventative reasons rather than reactions to emergencies meaning they mostly appear unnecessary, whereas if they were needed they'd most likely be life saving. Treating a heavy patient just in case is easier and safer then trying to treat a patient under emergency conditions - and I say that as a health care professional and as someone with a high bmi!

I don't think passing the buck to the mw regarding info on weight gain is helpful, it's in every piece of 'healthy pregnancy' info there is BUT I can see how pissed off you are that not knowing that any weight gain could/would affect your birth options.

Bottom line is that you should pursue the birth you want, no-one can treat you/give you meds/position you without your consent unless it's a life or death situation.

No-one is hospital will give you interventions unless it's indicated (the NHS is skint! ) or do anything just because you're bigger. You are in control.

Hope you can find a solution that works for you

I hope you all made it through today without melting!

Last full week is going great thanks pinkie! Knowing I only have 3 more 4 day weeks after this one has really cheered me up!

I hope you got your scan appointment happy. Try not to worry. When I was measuring big, so many people told me stories of measuring big /small and baby being far from what was predicted. It's not an exact science by far. I'm sure your baby is fine, just really good at hide and seek.
I hope your meeting at work went ok today as well. I'm sorry you are having such a stressful time

I had to hot maccy d's again today fanby! This is getting to be a serious habit! I do feel like the last few weeks have flown by. I can't wait to finish work, but keeping busy seems to help the time feel like it's going faster. I'm a bit worried that the last 4 weeks will really drag when I'm at home.
Your breastfeeding class sounds interesting.
Had you paid or was it a free one? I think I'd be a bit annoyed if I'd forked out and they didn't answer my questions.
My lovely friend has given me some swaddle blankets similar to those. I've been so lucky that others' generosity has saved us a fortune.

I have also been all about sweat, swollen feet and chub rub today mzzf! So glamourous!
I'll definitely join you on the post natal threads. I can't really do Facebook groups etc due to the child protection part of my work.
I hope you cracked open that magnum. I'm cooling down with some delicious lidl peanut butter ice cream.

shan, I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed. My only advice is to talk it through with your midwife. It sounds like you need a straight answer and nobody has given you one so far. Do you have an spot soon, or can you ask for one? Take care of yourself.

Those feeding chairs look so nice dozy. I would totally have on if we had the room. Go for it!!

I hope everyone manages to sleep tonight! Thank god the heat isn't forecast to last much longer!

Hey mzzf, thanks for your post. :)

I suppose I assumed they would work from my booking in BMI of 30.7 - that's what all the things I've read on the web have suggested. I've gained two stone which I've also seen is fairly 'normal'. Ive not gotten bigger particularly, just bump! What should have been made clearer to me is they work from weight in labour and this was never ever mentioned.

I have eaten more than I normally would, as I've been hungrier, not cakes or crisps or whatever to excess though. Relatively healthy snacks - I guess it was just that I didn't know that this sort of increase would mean by BMI would get too high, when my weight has never been an issue until I've gained it through being pregnant, If that makes sense? Or if they knew I was hovering near likely to go over meaning I can't have what they've known was my plan from the start, perhaps to follow a more guided eating plan? I don't know, it just seems to have come out of the blue at a late stage with no mention at all that I could gain pregnancy weight so much I can't give birth as we discussed at my very first appointment. I have none of the usual things that a high BMI might cause. And I suppose I just don't see myself as someone who is so overweight they can't use a midwife led unit!

I sometimes have bad anxiety, and I think feeling like both my options have been taken away last minute and the ward was the last thing I wanted - i want as little intervention as possible and I am just so nervous at the thought of going there - I can't really explain it sensibly! Also, I know they will support my home birth, but if that's against what they suggest for me I don't know if I could do it. I was hungry this afternoon and I normally would have fruit and yogurt as a snack but I just couldn't bring myself to eat it. I'm getting so silly over it.

In seeing my current midwife tomorrow, and telling home birth midwife I want to go ahead who will then get me in to see the home birth and MLU manager. Home birth midwife is convinced they won't budge on the MLU though, they might on home. Feel less secure on home now though.

2 stone is nothing to have put on shantoto. I've put more than that on. I think bmi is a load of rubbish anyway and I can't understand why they still use it in this day and age. I was literally having this discussion today to my friend about how feel amazing when I weigh 11 stone and look really slim but to someone else 11 stone would look way bigger. It all depends on muscle etc and bmi has been proven to be old fashioned yet the nhs and other places still use it.

My goodness the heat has been unbearable today! I had to have a cold shower! And I copied frolic and had a frozen lemonade from macdonalds. Yummy.

Went to mothercare event today. It was sweltering in there. I only went to get the 10% discount. Finally bought the car seat. Just got maxi cosi cabriofix and will use seat belt because it's the next size up one that I'm more interested in researching properly with the rearward facing rules and don't want to be limited to a brand depending on what isofix base I bought. I think I'll be fine just using the seat belt anyway. Also bought some newborn vests and baby grows for the hospital as I've only got mainly bigger sizes so far.

Mentioned this on facebook group but I bought some maternity pyjamas online from asda for 14 quid and they are the best 14 quid I have ever spent. So so very comfortable. They get sold out quite quickly but they are amazing just for lounging around the house in. I kinda want to just wear them all the time though!

I definitely need a non wired bra but need strapless ones for my dresses and I just don't think they'll support my giant knockers enough :( it's a difficult choice between being comfy but with droopy boobs or being uncomfortable but supported. Went out for tea and had to undo my bra to make it slightly more comfortable!

Goodness me my spelling/grammar in my previous post was awful! Soz folks!

Shantotto - I aptotally agree with dozy that bmi is pump, actually I think it's a crock of shit but it's what they currently use. So you can't change that but I would deffo bring up that you should have been told about the cut off points for your weight regarding treatment choices, that's not cool. And really 2 stone is bloody nothing, plus your a tall 'un so I bet you're carrying it really well. Do not start excessively restricting yourself now, ok maybe don't smash the magnums like I have been but there's no need to diet now and make yourself worry more.

I get that you don't want to be on the wards, not everyone is comfortable as an inpatient but being an inpatient doesn't necessarily mean that you'll have to have anything other than a natural birth, it's just that the extras are there if you need them.

Deffo speak to your midwives, get them to agree on a plan and don't be scared to raise your concerns - it's your body and your birth!!

--

In other news - I so need to try the McDonald's lemonade!!

I have another mw appt to see what position this little lady is in tomorrow, which may end up with another scan...

Tomorrow is supposed to be hotter so keep cool thoughts in your noodles ladies and hopefully have a minimal sweaty sleep!!

My feet are HUGE! Please someone let me have my normal body back - I'll never complain of not being supermodel thin again!!!!

Haha mzzf thats exactly how I feel! Just want my body back and not feel so restricted all the time! Not long for u to go though now heehee

I wrote the below post last night but it didn't post. Just had another night with very little sleep. I could cry this morning!

shan I got told by my MW that they would use my booking in bmi as bmi when pregnant is even more bollocks than usual. I brought this up with my MW because I gave also gained 2 stone and my bmi was 32 at booking in. I would possibly ask for a second opinion. All my MW said is that for a water birth, they might ask me to prove I can get in and out unaided, which is fine by me because I wouldn't feel happy myself if I couldn't get myself out if required.

Also..?. 0.7!!!! Ffs that is nothing!

Didn't get a call from the antenatal clinic, so no scan appointment yet.

Quick post before I have a read back to catch up, but wanted to say I hope all you lovely ladies & bumps are keeping cool in this heat - despite them being against the "regulations and guidelines" I have brought in a plug in fan to work today, no chance am I sitting here about to faint!

Stay cool, everyone!

I am sure you will all be happy to know that on this... the hottest day of the year.... my colleague hasn't turned up for work!!!!!!!!!!!! this means I have full control of the AC AAAAAAALLLLLL day! (he could still turn up but wouldn't be overly surprised if he is 'sick' today)

So so so glad that my annual leave year starts in April and we hadn't used any holiday! I finished a week ago - so finger crossed 6 lovely weeks of flumping and washing babay clothes and cloth nappies! Or like now say in front of fan watching Come Dine With Me!

I had lots of good intentions to do yoga and walk everyday, but it's too hot and I have such bad rib flare and pains across my bump even standing up for too long is a bother. Oh well, DP can sort out the kitchen cupboards!

Oh god it is TOO WARM this week. I usually love the heat, but my ankles are like hams and my toes look like a pack of raw sausages and I am just TOO HOT.
Went in for the fasting glucose test yesterday and the lady doing my bloods noticed that they'd lost or forgotten a bunch of other blood work, too. Ended up with another half dozen tubes of blood taken! Waiting to hear back today with any results from the glucose test, they've said they'll only ring if it's bad, though. I thought the big poster about healthy eating in pregnancy was a particularly cruel touch while I sat starving in the waiting room!

Totally appropriate for me to steal my neighbours paddling pool right?! GEEEEWHIIIZZZZ it's hot! I literally don't know what to do with myself, I am a sweaty mess. Am supposed to be going to a different yoga class today with a 'friend' I made from an antenatal class, I really want to sack it off, but don't want to flake on a possible new friend (yes I know that sounds lame but I need all the friends I can get!). It's not until 3pm so might get a bit cooler – wishful thinking...

Sianihedgehog – hope you're not too bruised! I managed to get my results straight after the test, hope you don't have to wait long. No news is good news :)

Shantotto – sorry to hear about all of your anxieties! I don't think a 2 stone weight gain is anything at all with pregnancy!!! I do agree with the others though, if they knew you were teetering on a borderline they should have forewarned you and set your expectations from the beginning. Please don't stop eating!! Snack away!! Especially in this heat, need to keep your strength up!

happygojo – YES FOR AC!! Can you share it out to the rest of us ;) Hope your colleague comes in with sunburn tomorrow ;)

Dozygirl – Glad the mothercare event went well. We're off shopping on saturday for the pram/car seat malarky, plus no doubt other things that we don't need lol!

Frolicacid – I need to head into town today, not looking forward to facing Oxford Street but this means I will finally get to try a macca's lemonade! Woohoo, it better live up to your recommendations ;)!
The breastfeeding class was part of the NCT course, so paid for. It'll be interesting to see when the usual lady asks how last week was how the group react!

Bit late for a 'pinch and a punch' (unlucky to do it after midday right?) - scary to think most of the babies will be here next month – and some this month!!! YAY!!

Just had a thought, will we all join the same postnatal group on here once the babies arrive? Because some will be July babies, some august and some September! But wouldn't want to lose any of you to different groups lol.

I've just smashed a MacDonalds lemonade - LUSH!!!

My house in measuring at 26 degrees indoors!

Mw still not sure of position of my bump, so going for another scan tomorrow to find out.

Cool thoughts to you all ladies!!

Fanby, sorry that the BF session wasn't great. Have you been able to find out where your local drop-ins are? I think you usually get a list when you give birth, but your midwife might be able to help - I found it really useful to connect before DS1 was born.

Shann, I definitely second getting another opinion on the HB option. It's amazing how rigid some midwives are (and thankfully, how flexible other are). Might be worth pushing how an 'unnecessary' hospital birth might be worse for you.

Siani, having all that blood taken sounds from. I hope you are feeling okay and that you've managed to sort yourself a little treat to compensate.

Fanby, how did you find Oxford Street in this heat? I nipped to Asda this morning and thought I was going to faint just crossing the carpark (I spent a lot of time in the chilled aisles ).

Dozy, glad you got your car seat sorted. We've finally decided to rent ours from NCT. We don't plan on having any more children, so it seems to work out cost effective.

I hope your scan shows baby to be head down mzzzf.

I saw the midwife today. She said it was too early to start feeling the baby (I'm 33+4), but otherwise it was all okay. I have my appointment to discuss birthing options next Monday, then I'm booked for more bloods on Tuesday. Feeling a bit anxious about Monday. I have been told that the doctor will literally ask what I want, but I don't really know.

mzzzf 32 in my office today. :( grim, grim, grim. Bought some ice packs to put my feet on tomorrow!!

Can you ask for a different mw, Shan? She sounds like a rubbish one. Your fears and desires are her job. She shouldn't be making you feel worse.

I went to a bf antenatal class last time and didn't find it useful either. I think the best thing is to read some decent books - La Leche League etc - and maybe visit a bf support group before you give birth to give you an idea of what to expect. I didn't do any of that last time and it was a big shock especially when all I got from other mums, health visitor, doctors was "just give her a bottle". It's amazing how much pressure there is to bottle feed so if you think you'd like to breastfeed then a bit of good information beforehand won't hurt.

I've tried those strawberry lemonade things. Yum! Not that the weather requires me to cool down that much. Got up to 26 today which is a miracle. Dd spent the day in the paddling pool. She's very sweet.

Joskar - 26 sounds lovely!!! Prior to this week I didn't want to move to Scotland in August, now I can't wait! Haha!!

Glad to hear those who said they didn't find the bf workshop much use- I TOTALLY forgot about mine yesterday until 10 minutes before it started! Oops! I don't think I'm going to bother rebooking it tbh! I was out enjoying the sunshine and got distracted! Found a lovely park right near our new house with fishing lakes so DH was very happy!

I seem to be managing with the heat pretty well although I have to admit I did hang around in asda's fridge aisles than I usually would this afty!

Equimum- surprised your MW said its early for feeling the baby- Ive been being palpated since they started measuring bump- so 28 weeks ish? (Can't remember when they started to measure!) I'm 34 weeks today and at 31 weeks she told me baby was head down and where limbs etc were and then today told me still head down and unlikely to move breech now as won't have room to move round! Also told me head was pretty well into my pelvis too. Fingers crossed he might be on time/ early as a result, don't want him going overdue!

Siani- hope you've got a fan at least in your office- I'd be interested to know what the max working temp is bet it isn't far off that!

Shantotto- sorry about your birth options dress your having

Got a letter on Monday that gave us 28th August for our move in date on house- despite the woman telling me on Saturday she was still pushing for end of July! Rang a million times yesterday and it just rang out so but gutted at the mo- she isn't open ties and weds so having to wait till Friday to speak to her! The letter even said it was plasterd which is last stage before decoration- I could decorate a whole house myself in 3 weeks single handedly so why they need 8 weeks with more people I don't know! I know it's not the end of the world if baby comes home to our current house but I really don't want him to! If the August date sticks too then unless he's on time/ early I'll have to insist on later into September as I want at least a couple weeks at home getting used to baby before moving- don't want DH using his precious 2 weeks paternity leave moving either, want him to be with me and baby!

mzzzf where are you moving to?

Shan sorry to hear you're having problems with your preferred birth plan. I'm very lucky that my homebirth mw will do whatever she can to keep you at home if that's what you really want (so if a mum is 'overdue' she'll take scan date rather than lmp or vice versa). It's difficult when you're anxious about doing the 'right thing' but you have it completely right that you can question any decision you're unhappy with about your birth.

Dozy we've used a Cabriofix with just seat belt for both DDs and it's absolutely fine once you know where the belt goes. You should get at least a year out of it I'd say; DD1 is 3 next month and only just over the weight limit, only grew out of it in height just after 2. Plenty of time to research your next one! We're going to get DD1 a new rear facing seat tomorrow which should take her to 25kgs (hopefully around age 6).

Echoing that it's SO HOT!!!! 33 at the highest here today. We went to play in the garden straight after breakfast and were back indoors by just gone 10! It's still 29-30 upstairs here at PILs so DDs are sleeping in just vests.

DH has sent some pics of our house after 2 days of knocking through, it's a massive change but dust sheets everywhere and the whole back of the house boarded up as the roof and windows aren't in the extension yet. I'm excited yet dreading going back tomorrow!

Could someone let me know about joining the fb group please?

Joskar - heading to just north of Glasgow. My DH is from the trossachs so he's dead keen to get back. I'm a southern flower so I'll be the one with the 'wrong' accent for a while now