Due May 2007 - Thread for w/c 13 November

[peacemakerukuk]

Morning all, Am very surprised I'm the first around this morning. Re. krispy kreme doughnuts, the 3 Tesco's nearest us have been selling them for quite a few months now. I don't see the attraction in them myself - thank goodness, I have enough extra weight as it it

Good morning everyone, hope we are all happy ladies today. Im much happier than yesterday, it could be down to the yum pizza i ate last night or it could be the text i recieved from Dh at 7.30 this morning, here it is

I love you with all my heart, i am lost and empty without you, i cant wait to the ball, so i can wrap you up in my arms keep you safe, have a good day angel. xxxxx

How lucky am i?!

Yesterday was bad, when i picked up DD from school her teacher ran out to talk to me. I wasnt worried she has never been in trouble and loves school. Her teacher said that phin was still very behind with everything and they didnt feel that she would be ready to move up to the juniors in sept next year. She suggested i start thinking about a 'special' school. I knew she was struggling and gets lots of extra help but had no idea that it had got so extreme, she is only 6, and only been at school for 18months!

Anyway i phoned my sister who is a special needs teacher and asked her what she thought, she said not to worry phin would be assessed by an educational Psychologist (she is in Jan) and would get a diagnosis, then to take it from there. Phin does not fit in to any pattern though, she is bright, sociable, knows the words to every Madonna and suga babes song. Her language is great and she is empathic with others. Apparantly children with learning disabilities usually lack in another area than purely academic, even if they are aggressive and disruptive as they get frustrated at not being able to grasp the tasks in school. She is none of those, she is quite distracted and dreamy but does try hard. Aaaaaagh, i was very worried, but came to the conclusion that if the school get difficult and refuse to take her i will home school or look in to private education for her.

So today i feel better, it was just a shock i think. I dont know anything about the situation really as i have never come across it before. The dts went to school reading and writing their name, and are above average in everything. Its hard not to compare but i cant help it sometimes.

Anyone know anything about it?

Sorry ginger very happy for you regards your scan, you must be so pleased. Only one then, i wonder if there will be any more twins to go with Charleymouse (largeg&t thinks very hard about someone else to bless with twin thoughts.....)

TENS: Tens is thought to have two effects:

By selectively stimulating certain "non-pain" nerve fibres it may be possible to send signals to the brain that block other nerve signals carrying pain messages. Only the non-pain messages get through to the brain.
Tens is said to stimulate the production of endorphins, which are natural pain-relieving hormones produced by the body. The device is usually used for 15-20 minutes, several times a day, controlled by the user (rather than being given by a health professional). Pain relief may start very rapidly and last for days.

Some medical studies claim it doesn't work, but then I find the medical establishment often seem go out of their way to discredit "alternative" therapies. Obv pain is highly personal and if it makes you "feel" better then that's what matters. Even if the effect is psychological, it's still working.

3 months maternity leave. That's very poor. It's going up to 9 months here after 1st April. Mind you, a lot of people couldn't afford to live on the £100 statutory government maternity pay for 9 months, but they have the right idea at least.

MKG and FSM - maternity and paternity rights are changing at the beginning of April (we waited specially.)Statutory maternity rights will be 9 months (up from 6), 3 of which will be transferable between parents. My DP is sooo pleased that he can be head of childcare for 3 months in term time.

Do most people get nuchal scans? i hadn't even heard of them, we just get a dating scan and no 20 wk scan. Good thing I don't want to find out the sex

Charleymouse - I'm sure once you're over the shock you'll be delighted. I'm actually slightly envious. I might feel differently if it actually happened.

Glad everyone's scans seem to be going ok.

I'm sorry to hear that you're so worried about Phin, LG&T. I can't help wondering sometimes if some kids just aren't ready for school at 4. In Ireland you can choose to wait until your kids are 5 and in Germany I know they don't start til 6. As long as she's happy at school then perhaps she just needs a little more time to adjust to "learning how to learn" iyswim? I found it awfully hard to re-learn how to study last year as I was out of practice, so perhaps it can be the same for kiddies?

Hi,

Congrats on your scan ginger,

Lg&t, my parents had a similar problem with my brother. He was 8 and had been at school over 3 years and still couldn't write his name or read. After various meetings with, learning teams, school, education authorities, they came to the conclusion that he was Lazy. Sounds awful but it was true. He was fairly switched on in all aspects, but dreamy and very easily distracted, if the telly was on he was inanother word. School let him get away with it, he was quiet, happy to sit in the corner playing with cars on his own and that was where he stayed, school made no efforet to push him and he had no drive or want to do anymore at school. About a year later things had not changed and it was time for me to leave the same schoola nd go to senior school, so Mum and Dad decided to take bro out and put him in private education. He was pushed much better there, he needed pushing as he was lazy. He was in a special needs class at the normal private day school, but he eventually caught up, went on to gain 8 GCSE's and is now a bus driver, earning good money and has just had a little girl 4 weeks ago. He will never be a high flyer but he is happy and that is all that counts. He is still Lazy and doesn't have much drive, the familys favorite saying is "well thats David for you" but he has good support and does well.

I don't know if it has any relevance to your cituation with Phin but I'm sure it will all work out in the end, as long as she is happy!!!!!

Hello everyone, hope you are all ok. I had trouble sleeping last night so im very tired this morning. Id spent the evening wrapping presents and eating fruit salad and cream, evreything was fine but as soon as i went to bed i felt really sick and couldnt sleep. May try to have a nap after ive hoovered

Still no news from juicylucy then. I hope everything is ok.

On the subject of anti-natal classes i have never been to one. With ds1 I was too busy with college then with ds2 i figured id already been there,done that so knew what to expect. I think half the stuff they teach you comes naturally anyway. I knew how to breathe through the contraction, pant, etc without being told.

It suddenly dawned on me last night that i must be mad, in a few months time ive got to go through all that pain again. I know i will have something nice at the end of it but the pain aaargh!! Im hoping though that this labour will be nice and quick and the baby will only be about 6lb 8oz. Its supposed to get quicker and babies smaller the more pregnancies you have isnt it? With ds1 i was in labour for 22hrs and he weighed 8lb 5oz and ds1 took 5.5hrs and weighed 7lb 2oz so a 2hr labour is on the cards i reckon (wishful thinking)

MKG Tens machines are great. That was all the pain relief i used when in labour with ds1. In the end the midwife made me take it off as id had it on for over 15hrs and she said my contractions were so strong by then that it wouldnt have been doing much to dull them. I knew that but it was just comforting knowing it was there, a bit like a baby with their favourite teddy Gas and Air is supposed to be great too but i cant stand it, i had about two puffs with ds2 and it made me feel ill so i stopped. It works for many others though so it must be good. What pain relief are you offered in USA?

LG&T your dh sounds lovely, wish my dh would send me texts like that, but then again you are still in the honeymoon stage, ive been married for 4.5years, the romance has died i think.

Tahnk you for the story of your bro FSF, phin does sound like that. She isnt quiet though, born for the stage i fear. Yesterday i caught her in my room with my fan on stood in front of the mirror dancing and singing at the top of her voice with the fan blowing her hair back in rock video mode, along to 'cant get you out of my head'! Hysterical....

TYG i thing she was too young for school, her birthday is july 27th so she was only 4 and a half when she started.

We are still in honemoon phase i guess, only been married for 4 months and only been together sice january this year! Well 28th dec actually, his birthday. He was a lucky boy to get me for his birthday....and 5 kids and a new baby!!

You are just soooo funny lg&t, "lucky boy and got me for his birthday.........oh and 5 kids bit!! pmsl

Phin sounds delightful, just keep her happy, even if decisions over her schooling get tough, try not to let her get involved, IYKWIM, just let her carry on day to day and she will take whatever changes you decide to make for her in her stride. They are tough little cookies these children, I reckon.

Sooo can someone explain the pay split from April on Maternity leave in the UK. It used to be 6 weeks full pay and then the rest at statutory, have they upped the 6 weeks at full pay?

April i just went to the kitchen looking for something to munch, eyed up the 3 remaining mars bars (i ate one already) and thought i had better make squidge before i ate another. It is soooo yum, kids will be thrilled when they get in from school!

Im not letting on to phin whats going on, she is happy where she is and that is how i will fight to keep it. She is a tough cookie

Dont know FSF havnt worked since i had the dts 8 years ago

Really really quick, better update later. Just wanted to say that it is still 6wks full pay after April 1st. Luckily, I get great occupational benefits so six months full pay, three months statutory and then an extra 3 months unpaid (unlikely that I will take the unpaid bit). Plus I've worked here for more than two years so can also take an extra year unpaid if I so wish (again would be very nice but not practical).

Chat properly to you all later. Morning!
Chat more later.

Hi I've just checked the gov web site and as I thought SMP from 1 April 07 is 6 weeks at 90% of average weekly salary then 33 weeks (previously 20 weeks) of SMP or 90% of salary whichever is lower. Thats gives us 9 months paid. Yipee - I will be taking it I hope. DP may need a bit of convincing. SMP is currently £108 (ish) as week and I can't see it going up by loads.

Hadn't thought about the 6 week thing - just found this link ( www.eoc-law.org.uk/Default.aspx?page=2982) but am struggling to understand it - it looks as if you get 39 weeks at full pay from the way it is worded but I can't quite believe that. It also says that there isn't yet a definate date for the increase in paternity leave. Oh balls, we based our decision to wait on a myth. DP will be upset.

Just done a bit more research and found that that link is out of date(Yay!). New paternity rights came in on the 1st of Oct. I think you still only get 90% of pay for 6 weeks and then its on to SMP.

pebblemum,

Here the only pain relief offered is an epidural. It's either all or nothing. I would never get one because one of my friends ended up in the emergency room 6 days after her C-section, because the epidural wasn't put in right, she got terrible headaches and they realized that she was leaking spinal fluid! No it's just not for me.

Please don't joke about babies getting smaller. Ds was 6 lbs 1 oz when he was born. This one will be the size of a walnut when it's born.

I asked my mom about a TENS machine because she's old. She said when my dad was dying of cancer they used a TENS to avert the pain, but it didn't do much good.

Your gas and air is only used by dentists here. So if I went for a root canal I'd get happy gas, but not in the LDRP room.

As far as maternity leave. After ds was born I went back to work exactly 1 months after. We couldn't afford to have me not work with no pay or benefits. I stopped working when he was 4 months though, I didn't like that I was going to miss his big "firsts".

Speaking of firsts. I was lying down in his room reading a book and he was tearing his room apart like usual. I look up and he's standing in the middle of the room, with his arms out like a blind man searching for something to grab. He made it to the wall, looked at me and laughed, and continued to kick his soccer ball. It was adorable and I was so proud that he decided to walk without any encouragement from me.

MKG - that's great, it's lovely when they start walking. Sounds like the matenity leave situation what it used to be here 30 years ago! really grateful that I've got the choice to work if I want (or hang out on mumsnet while pretending to work)

Didn't like gas and air myself, I gave up after a couple of gulps because I wanted to be in control not dizzy and out of it

Here's the my question about gas and air.

Does it take the pain away or just get a little happy so you don't think about it? Here we call it laughing gas. The main reason I don't think it's available here is because all drugs must be administered by an anestesiaologist (sp).

Love gas and air MKG Am quite fanatical about it, with ds#4 i was in the bath having got home 10 mins before, waiting for the midwife to arrive, she arrived but couldnt park her car. Exp moved his car so she could park and unload precious gas and air canisters. I had refused to get out of the bath until she had set it up for me, despite wanting to push! She called out it was ready and i walked to my bedroom between a contraction had one puff of gas and ds head was out! Took another 5 pushes to get his massive shoulders out though!

Babies get bigger as a general rule, the more you have. Mine have gone from dts 2lb 9 and 2lb 13 to dd 7lb10, ds#3 8lb6 and ds#4 9lb! Im praying as i have a new partner i will start all over again and have a tiny baby (not the 2lb variety!) Think i will....

Yep, the 9 months thing is that the statutory maternity pay (or SMP) has been increased from 6 mths to 9 months, with 6 weeks on full or 90% pay - i can't remember which. Then it's up to individiual companies to decide if they're going to pay their employees (occupational maternity pay or OMP).

I'm lucky in that my company pay OMP - they just haven't decided if they're upping it to the 9 mths. Plus then you get the extra 3 mths optional unpaid leave at the end. Think I'll take it and see if we can manage ok without the money. If not, I'll have to go back; otherwise will be a SAH mum.

It absolutely helps with the pain, i just couldnt do without it. You do get kind of spacey but its good and just detaches you from the pain a bit. You need to get in to it and breathe really deeply, i would have definatly bitten the arm off anyone trying to take it away from me...

I agreed LG&T - couldn't have done without gas & air with DD2 thats all I had and hope to have this time too. My DDs got bigger too DD1 was 6lb 10oz and DD2 was 8lb 5oz. New DP this time but not sure it will be a smaller baby as apparently he was 9lb 6 and openly admits to having quite a big head - ouch!!

Sorry I've not been around. Everything is fine. The scan was fab and got 5 pictures from the lovely sonographer. Pod has a big nose (good sign) and nuchal fold was 1.2ish, so everything looking good so far.

Internet was off at work on Wed and since then I've been in Munich, so no chance to post.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Hope everyone is well. Will have to try and catch up next week, just got back to work and tonnes to catch up with here.

Have a great weekend
xx