Due February 07 - New Thread!!

[Tommy]

there we go...... that wasn't painful at all

No no no! No weeing in the toilet for sorky, she climbs in the bath switches on the shower, aims at bum and wee's away . I did this for one week, but in fairness I did have a small tear which was left to heal on its own (my choice) and this helped keep the area scrupulously clean.
Not a lot of people know this about me it has to said, but I clean the bath, I'll do what I like in it I say!

I agree about the fear of the first poo, but I think it's a bit of an urban myth in a way, everyone is scared of it but it really isn't that bad (unless you are really badly damaged). But the wee is nasty, def use the water pouring method.

I found the lack of dignity a bit of a surprise - being wheelchaired to the bathroom and lifted on to the toilet was a bit of a come down! Bed baths aren't too lovely either, but it was nice to feel clean so soon after all the sweating and screaming!

morning ladies sorry about my moan yesterday was good to get it off my chest am yet again at work my fingers have swallon so much and my knee is in so much pain when i bend the knee it clicks i feel like im falling apart got midwife mon so will have to make her aware of all the swelling i feel like a ballon, mum and dad going to my house today to move my stuff whilst im at work bless them this is my first time of moving out and leaving my family keep getting tearful about this is that normal??

For all the ladies having trouble sleeping, I've discovered a wonderful thing! I don't normally do makeup, but have just bought some No7 eye bag concealer - it's wonderful stuff!

Also I got mine free as I joined Boots parenting club and got a voucher for free No7 stuff up to £16 - bargain! Now I look normal until I wash my face then I get a nasty shock!

Not been a good weekend so far - FIL had heart attack on Fri pm - is ok but in hosp, not what we need given he lost his wife in June.

Trying to keep myself busy - but trying to rest - haven't got the enerdy to be running upto hosp only 10 mins away thankfully), looking after 4 yo and DH! Keep reminding myself that I need to be a bit selfish and look after me - managed to blag tea at my mums tonight - which saved me the job.

Shouldn't complain as a good friend lost her dad earlier in the year when she was 15 wkd pg and she is coping fine now and the buba is great!

Hosp appt on friday (different hosp) so poor hubby will be sick of the sight of nurses and doctors by then!

sorry to hear that andyrobo - you don't need stress at this stage. I hope he's OK.

Hi all
Andyrobo sorry to hear your news, fingers crossed that everything will be OK. You make sure you take time to relax and take it easy.

BTW baby has been leaping around most of the weekend.

Suis, totally know where you're coming from re. wishing I could just have a couple of days off being pregnant and go out and do 'normal' things. Went out for lunch yesterday with DH and my brother and his fiancee and really wished I could have a few drinks with them, but diligently stuck to my pineapple juice and lemonade.

Becs, hope things improve for you soon - you seem to be going through the mill a bit at the moment.

I now have a paranoid fear of my first No.2. post-birth. Not to mention the indignity of having to be wheeled to the loo or suffering a bed bath ... God, I hope not!

We went for a 'meet and greet' at the birth centre on Saturday. Neither of us felt exactly overwhelmed with enthusiasm from the staff we met. We were left in a room to wait while my notes were reviewed, at which point the manager took up the whole BMI issue again which I thought had been resolved since I was approved for midwife-led care by the hospital. I managed to convince her that my pre-pregnancy weight was actually a little higher than the figure in my notes as I wasn't weighed at my booking-in appointment and the weight used was one my GP had taken while I was at the peak of my marathon training in March and concerned that my weight might affect my fertility. After the marathon I put back a couple of pounds which gives me a BMI of just about 18.5 at the start of pregnancy, the minimum the birth centre will accept. They've booked me in, but DH and I both felt it was with extreme reluctance, and they just kept reminding us of all the reasons why, even though we're booked in, we might not get to go there in the end. I was warned that my iron levels might drop; my blood pressure might increase; I might get gestational diabetes; the baby might be breech etc etc. Yes, I might, but then again I might not so what's wrong with focusing on the positive? Felt thoroughly disheartened afterwards and have basically resigned myself to ending up flat on my back on a bed, wired to every conceivable monitor going having a consultant-led birth with maximum intervention. Which isn't what I want at all.

sorry to hear that currantbun
There are lots of "mights" and "what ifs" surrounding childbirth and basically you just have to wait and see what happens. It's a very inexact science IMO.

FWIW, I never had any trouble doing a poo immediately after child birth wth either of mine

i cant stop crying i have been crying for 2 days straight spent my first nite in new house last nite my sis stayed with me to keep me company bless her this is the first time i have lived away from home i hate it im so upset and depressed

Hi Becs,
Sorry to hear that you're not happy at the moment. I think moving out from home is a big thing, and then add to that all the hormones, anxiety and sheer terror (not just of No 2s!) of pregnancy and I'm not surprised that you're overwhelmed. I'd love to hear about your new place, is it a flat or a house? How many bedrooms have you got? Are you going to get to do decorating? Have you moved to a new area or do you already know people there? Is your sister staying tonight too? If she isn't, perhaps you could put lots of candles on and make it really cosy and watch a good film? Take care, I'll be thinking of you

Sorry you are feeling so awful Becs....I can totally sympathise, having been recently diagnosed with depression. Have you seen your GP? Please keep talking on here. You have so much to contend with at the moment, with moving house etc and trying to earn the money. I'm sure you must be so tired and the overtime isn't helping. Are you entitled to any paid sick leave or benefit? If you could have a week signed off by your doctor and still get paid, it might take some of the pressure off you? Have you got much family support?

Sorry CB that you had a rough time with your visit the birthing centre. It seems ironic that you chose the centre option to get away from the hospital stuff and yet you are still getting the jobsworth type vibe. I am having a hospital birth as there are no other real options and whilst I have an "ideal world" scenario for the birth, I know I'll just have to let whatever will be will be and trust their judgement. At least you got booked in and you can keep your fingers crossed that you get what you want.

It seems that whatever weight you are, you can't win. I would consider myself curvy - a 14 (good day) to 16 (bad day) pre pregnancy and my most consistent size has been a 14 for approx ten years. I don't think that's big or fat and yet the midwife at the hospital felt she could comment and call me Plump. You are a very fit, marathon running woman and you get comments! Very frustrating for you! Us poor women, we do have to go through the most ridiculous things for this child bearing business.

Is anyone who hasn't got SPD just feeling SO uncomfortable ALL the time? Even the comfiest of chairs feel make me ache and sleeping is now awful as my hips hurt on each side, which ever I am sleeping on. Feel like an old woman not just 30 and 9 days! Anyone else the same? I just cannot stop moaning!

Hi CB, I think the whole attitude at the birtch centre sounds like it stinks, if you had been accepted for midwife led care then they really should have sorted all this out (as you thought) before you got there. I can't remember which your local hospital is but do you know anything about it's reputation for "normal" births? Sometimes birth centres can be so twitched about their lack of cover that you may be transfered unessesarily and have a very disturbed birth, have you asked them what their transfer rate is? What you are saying doesn't give me the best feeling about them but I might be totally wrong, would you be happy to name (and shame!) them, if so I can ask collegues if they know anything about them. Of course you do have to go through reasons for transfer so if this does occur the family are not shocked, however it should be a very two sided conversation, not a direct tirade of if this happens then we wont accept you! Are there any other options for place of birth, I know some of us have many and others are very limited. Good luck.

Hi Becs, moving into your own place can be a really stressful time, when I was pregnant with my son I moved out from the flat I shared with my partner cos he was a complete@£$!!%$£ and into my own house, it felt empty to start with but I soon started to enjoy the peace and being able to do exactlly what I wanted. 12 years on I am married to a lovely bloke but would sometimes give my right leg to go back to being on my own, no compromise, peace when I wanteded, noise when I wanted it. Things will pick up and it will soon start to feel like home, x

sorry to hear you feel so sad becs. everything will work out eventully. (i bet ur sick of hearing that) i too would love to hear about ur new place. are there many single mums in ur area?? perhaps you could tell us here on mn where abouts u are and we can try to help in anyway that we can. thinking of you bubs xxx

Plumpbump, yes - I feel as though I have been penalised from the start for being fit and healthy. My BMI, although slightly below their minimum acceptable figure, isn't dangerously low or anything and I've explained constantly that I come from a family of small, petite females and athletic women tend to have lower BMIs anyway (confirmed by the dietician I was made to see). I bet Paula Radcliffe has a lower BMI than me and I bet she isn't getting this kind of hassle! Although I'm now booked into the birth centre I don't feel I can relax as if even the slightest thing happens they're not happy with I'll just be told they can't take me. In some ways I'd rather just book for a hospital birth and at least know that's what I'll definitely get.

Snuggle, I'm not sure what the transfer rate is and stupidly I didn't think to ask when I was there on Saturday. The internet searches I've done have just come back with 'no data available'. I'm happy to name the hospital - it's Chase Farm in Enfield, north London. The hospital birth experience there seems to have improved in recent years from what I can find out - there was a time when it was considered to be pretty awful. Even if I did have to be transferred from the birth centre though I can't see that's a reason not to be a bit more positive about accepting me now - no-one knows what's going to happen during labour after all. The birth centre is one floor above the obstetric department and labour ward so it's not even as though I'd need to be transferred by ambulance if a problem arose.

Becs, I'd like to hear more about your new home too. Perhaps your sister could stay a bit longer to help you settle in? Is there a sympathetic colleague at work you could talk to about your current situation? Or could you talk to someone in your HR department? It might be possible to sign you off for a few days on paid compassionate leave to help you get to grips with your new situation. Whatever, things WILL look up and you will soon start to feel a bit more settled. There are just lots of changes going on for you at the moment which, with the pregnancy hormones, are bound to make you feel low at the moment.

Currantbun is there any reason why you wouldn't consider a home birth? A birthing centre offers pretty much the same services as you would get at home but you would be in so much more control of your birth. BMI wouldn't matter at all and you should feel more comfortable. You can be transferred from home just as quick as long as you don't live rurally as well. Just a thought. x

Bec so sorry to hear you're having a rough time, moving out for the first time is daunting and being pg doesn't help the irrational thoughts does it? I do hope you settle in, can you tell us a little about your new home? What do you plan to do to it?

Has anyone heard from Cadbury?

currentbun these people have some stats about your birth centre Dr Foster
Sorry to hear it wasn't a positive experience but I think everyone else has said what I would have said already
Becs sorry to hear you are feeling down I agree that moving out of home is a big this + one of the most stressful things you do in your life 3rd I think after the death of a relative or a divorce. I moved house twice over christmas, on two consecutive years so I understand the strees of it all.
Tell us about your new place, we can all make suggestions about how you can make it feel more like home.
We have accepted the offer on our house and had on accepted on a house we looked a on saturday! All a bit sudden but great as we will be in hopefully before the baby comes. It's a really short chain We are selling to a property developer so thats good and the people we are buying off have got a place and thats it!!!!
Oh yeah and I got a coat!!! A short jacket type coat with big buttons from Primark £15 they had black and red

Plumpbump - I am feeling uncomfortable today too - mild cramps in tum - feels like trapped wind so spent time walking around office this afternoon and eventually had quick dash to loo abnd feel better now! I am 27+3 weeks and haven't really been troubled too much - sleeping is a joke - between loo trips and jsut insomnia I am managing - definately feel sorry for those that have a hectic life - I have a dd who is 4 & 3/4 and she is very self-sufficient (thankfully!) and a desk job - involves thinking but not too stressful - worked out that I have 30 days left in work (over a 10 week period) - fab! Next week is the last week I will do a 5 day week until I go off! Combo of school functions, work meal, xmas, ante-natal and days off!!!!!

Off to hosp on friday for GTT, scan, consultant appt - and told DH that we are going to the pub for lunch - the local child free place!

Sorry to hear about your experience with the birthing centre CurrantBun, if it's any consolation, I have the opposite problem with weight - I've only put on 2 lbs and am so thin all my bones are sticking out everywhere but because my BMI is fine no one is worried (apart from me). One thing I have learnt from having DD1 is to stand up for myself when it comes to midwives etc, most of them are only pushy until you answer back - this time round I will be rather more vocal!

I can't sleep either Plumpbump, my sticky-out bones stop me getting comfy, then I get heartburn, then I just can't get my brain to switch off. I get a good night's sleep about every 1 in 5 as I get so tired I can't not sleep IYSWIM.

Blimey MoosMa - how far along are you? That's not much weight gain at all. Does make me a bit cross though as I seem to be gaining weight OK (have put on about 4kg since conception) and baby is measuring what it should for my dates, yet they won't stop banging on about my BMI. My bones aren't even sticking out! I'm just naturally very tiny and small-boned but am not skinny or bony.

Sorky, yes - I'd definitely consider a home birth. I think I'll discuss it with my midwife next time I see her. We did mention it in the initial booking appointment but it hasn't come up again since because we'd kind of gone down the birth centre route (which I'd felt would be an ideal compromise and would mean less preparation on my part in terms of making sure we have loads of old towels, plastic sheeting to cover everything etc).

Sympathise with everyone else who's starting to feel uncomfortable. I've hit a bit of a low point at the moment - feel a bit tearful for no real reason and it seems ages away until the baby's due. I'm not huge but bump feels quite stretched and uncomfortable some days and it's only going to get bigger and even more uncomfortable. I can't wait to meet my baby but could do without having to wait another 3 months to do so!

Sorry to hear about your experience at the birth centre, CurrantBun.

I went to the doctor's this morning and he confirmed that the baby is still transverse. I'm only 28 weeks and I know it could still move, but it's been like that ever since my 12 week scan and seems quite happy there! In bed at night, I can only lie on my right side, and was wondering last night why this was - turns out its head is on my right side, so weighting it down!!!

WooHoo!! Pram arrived yesterday, it's a lovely as I had hoped, lime green mutsy 4 rider. DP and DD2 were fighting and fussing over it all night, while I just sat like Buddha overseeing the proceedings. Ty,(DD2) wants to take it out for a dry run with a doll in but have had to calm her down, lol, what's she like? It's finally seeming that everything's coming together and it's definitely perked my spirits up a bit.

Becs, you'll be okay in a bit. It's just the stress of everything coming out, see a good blub as tension control. Just think of how nice it's going to be come March, with just you and your cubby all cosied up in the flat. Start planning your decor etc in your head, that should serve as a distraction too. You'll look back on this period of your life in a couple of years time and see that it was a good thing.

Chin up, xx

tumbleweed blows aimlessly through thread, door bangs relentlessly in wind, high in the sky a crow is heard calling out

Where's everyone? It's like a ghost town in here, lol

TLB.x

I'm here

not feeling quite so bad today. Think I had DS1's tummy bug the last couple of days and have been taking it easy so the rest of my aches and pains are quite as prominent as they have been. I haven't done anything else mind you but it seems to have helped so it was obviously very sensible!

Seeing MW this afternoon.