Due February 07 - New Thread!!

[Tommy]

there we go...... that wasn't painful at all

hi everyone - haven't written for ages cos have been feeling a bit down . Dob't know why really physically I'm very sore - piles, varicosities, coccyx problems, ligaments in groin etc. I keep being told to take it easy but have a million things to do so end up feeling guilty and inadequate that I haven't done any of them.

Anyway - I have decided to wait until after Christmas to do any preparation for this baby. Also to get past DS1's birthday at beginning of Jan then i need to send DH up to the loft to find stuff!

Tony, I can empathise totally. I was in tears last night, down to sheer frustration/boredom and discomfort. It just seems like one thing after another with this baboo. Being pregnant when I'm older is a whole new experience, when I was younger it was like water off a ducks back, now,I can't go anywhere without being in pain due to this bloody pelvis and if you knew the pre-pregnant me, you'd understand what a killer blow that is. I have a varicose vein starting on my left leg and threads veins have appeared out of nowhere too!! I ventured out last Friday to next town and nearly fainted due to the exertion and then spent the remainder of weekend in agony unable to move without wincing!! I feel guilty for being annoyed, because I do want this baby and I realise there are women who would kill to be in my position but it is very very hard. On the brightside it nice to feel all her movements, it the one thing I LOVE about expecting AND to have a VALID excuse not to go outside in this godawful weather is a Brucie bonus too.

Heyho.

Tlb.x

yes - that's how I feel

on the bright side, I have been wary about complaining to he friend I see every day about all my aches and pains as she had a miscarriage earlier in the year

But...yesterday she told me she was pregnant - made my day

TLB, what does SPD feel like? I have pain in my right groin which I'm not convinced is SPD (could be ligament pain). It doesn't hurt to part my legs, get in/out of the bath or stand on the affected side, but hurts if I do anything with a reasonable amount of impact like going for a run. If it's aggravated it can be uncomfortable for a day or two, then eases off until I do something that aggravates it again. It's annoying and uncomfortable but not intense pain.

We haven't bought anything yet! The pram is on order but we are still dithering over nursery furniture. The baby's room is quite small and an awkard layout because of the position of the door. Because we need to keep the futon in there as we have no other guest room (and the PIL will want to come and stay at some point) we are really restricted as to what furniture we can fit in and it has to be particular dimensions - most cotbeds, for example, are too wide. Then of course there's the issue of cost ...

Haven't bought any baby clothing or anything like that yet - will leave those sorts of things until after Christmas. Just want to sort out the furniture before then in case there's a wait for delivery. It won't be the end of the world if so as the bubs can sleep in the carrycot for a while anyway, but I want to at least have things planned.

One question - why the need for giant pants post-birth? Is it just to accommodate the huge pads? I can't bear anything covering my belly so was planning on 'normal' pants (obviously cheap nasty ones that can be binned but not huge granny knickers).

I wore size 12 normal knickers after having DD as opposed to my normal size 8 strings. As long as they hold a ginormous pad and aren't too tight I don't think it really matters. I was glad they were a bit baggy (so attractive!) as I had horrible bruising and stitches but I guess if you aren't too damaged you don't have to be so fussy.

do u think doing overtime will harm by baby im 28 weeks pregnant and today i am working 9am till 8pm i did the same yesterday

Currantbun, mine feels generally like a pressure in groin area most of the time,but when it raging it's like someone's kicked me HARD between the legs repeatedly, almost like there's a bruising, (which obv. there isn't). Also there's a sensation like something's about to twang. If I rest up for a few days, which I'm fortunate enough to be able to do, it dissipates and life feels seminormal again but when I waddle, (ladies you KNOW what I'm saying, walking being a thing of the past,haha), it rears it's ugly head again . I don't think I've got it severely so far but I have been forced to face that I now have limits on what I can/cannot do. Not good for a feisty freespirit like me

Regards to the nursery, we're in the midst of getting architects plans drawn up for a two-storey extension and also a family room at the back so for meantime, she'll be have to wait until building work is complete before that becomes a reality.

Anyone else having nightly dreams about baby being here already? Mine started last week.

Tlb.xx

Tommy - sending you hugs. I feel kindof the same. just starting to feel achey, SI disfunction is back, left leg keeps collapsing, being sick and being treated at hospital each week for eczema flare up. I don't so much mind any of that but feel so useless when I can't even get back off the floor after changing DSs nappy!

Currantbun, if you can run it isn't SPD would be the easy answer. It's normal for everything from the top of your legs to your ribs to feel like it's crumbling and sliding around and stretching... a bit at least. As for giant knickers... no need to be giant I suppose. you want them 'wide' enough to take the pads. and remember that you'll still have a bizarre jelly belly for a while so will need a couple of sizes bigger than usual.

Oh god... just thought about the jelly belly... really not looking forward to having one of those again! It always felt so alien!

Tutti, I've reorganised our spare rooms a bit in anticipation. I've bought a changing mat and a new mattress for the hammock. And that's about it! My mums bought a fair few 'pink' things in the sales so have some clothes. Plan to get DSs stuff out of the loft after Christmas and see what'll be useful. Still need to buy another sling/wrap, some baby vests, buggy board (maybe - any good anyone?), another baby monitor, new nursing bras and a snowsuit. But plan to wait until the sales in Januray for most things. And will get new nursing bras once my milk is in.

golly - all the bleeding afterwards sounds like a barrel of laughs!

Physically I'm ok at the moment, just a but achey in the mornings, and breathless if I run up the stairs. Emotionally its another matter! Very worried about how I'll cope with sleep deprivations etc, and about not being 'me' anymore! I'm sure this is all usual first time round, and dh is very supportive, but still freaking me out!

Hi Thanks for the kind words everyoneand movement tips. Baby is moving but is still quiet. I see the midwife on Wed so I'll talk to her and try to dicuss any worries, at my first appointment she only wanted to know about congental / chromosomal defects not others, even though I bought it up. I know I've posted before about how I don't find her to be very warm and hard to talk to. This is a test for her as I had complained but my GP urged me to see her one more time and he would talk to her about her attitude.
I've not bought very much.
This is my list I have...
several baby gros / outfits (a couple bought by my mum)
coorie sling and baby bjorn sling.
2 blankets
some books
My parents are buying the cot bed
I'm still in a dilemma about which pram at the moment I'm leaning back toward the silver cross 3D.
I'm holding off buying things due to selling the house.... which we might have an offer!! A property developer is very interested and has offered us £173,000. We have sent the agent back with £174,000 but we probably will take the lower offer if he says no. We still make quite a good profit just not as much as we hoped.
We want to be out before feb and it would mean no chain our end.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
someone has given me some (unopened) pads and disposable pants but I think I will get some cheap ones from primark.

Does anyone know anything much about slings?

We have a general Tomy Safari from previous 2 kiddies but I'm wondering if the ones where you wear the baby in a lying position are better. I'll try and find out the name of the one I'm looking at, I do know it's in Urchin.

Went to M & S yesterday to get measured for Nursing bra's. My bust doesn't usually increase in pg but this time whoa momma! I'm normally a 32b but I now have Norks 34D fgs, what do you do with those? No wonder I'm having to sleep sitting up!
Cb you'll probably be better off visiting M&S for knickers, they do low slung, but good sized gusset ones, in a size 8 which will allow for the pad and maybe a little extra belly until it goes. Definitely go for mat pads, Mothercare often do BOGOF. People reassured me that I'd only bleed heavily for a few days but it was nearly a month, quite heavy as well.
A friend who has 3 has just informed me that the after pains are worse with each baby, now that is something I'm NOT looking forward to. First timers don't get them at all btw, don't panic!

Glad to hear I'm not the only disorganised one! DH is currently upstairs building the baby's room!!! Only thing I've bought so far is two bottles of baby bath in a BOGOF at Tescos!! Guess I'll have some serious shopping to do in Jan...didn't save anything from when we had our daughter as we were absolutely, definately not having any more!!
Becs..I guess it depends what your job is..if you are a construction worker, you probably could do with cutting down a bit...otherwise, as long as you aren't too exhausted then I'd say do whatever you need to.We have our own business these days and I've been putting in some pretty hefty hours. Must say though,Ive felt quite washed out so wouldn't recommend it. Just make sure you're getting enough rest! xx
Alocin..glad to hear someone else is obsessing about sleep! It's become something close to my heart!! Anyway, we are bound to have chilled out babes who sleep through the night from the first week...

Sorkycake...We had one called a Wilkinet. Fabulously comfy for the baby and wearer but virtually impossible to put on without a degree in advanced engineering and an army of willing helpers! If you find a good one let me know.

sorky the coorie is the one I bought from these people brght sparks
I had been looking at them online and I think someone recommended them on mumsnet. I tried one at the baby show whith a pretend 7lb baby in it and I'm really looking forward to using it.
The only drawback is it is measured to fit you and it is too small for DH who whan I showed him said 'I'm not wearing that!' so he gets the BB one we got at an NCT sale!!!

thanks sallyally im so exhausted i work in an office taking call after call my throat kills and all i want to do is sleep, i have to sit a listen to people moaning about stupid things and try and blame u for adding to their stress all i want to say to them is try being me rite now my partner now is ex is a useless a hole im moving house i have no money im having to do 12 hour days to try and support my self and im 7 months pregnant but ur broadband not working is top pf my priorites sorry for the moan xx

I can win on the the not being prepared front. I have bought exactly nothing ! Thought about lots of things... have a few vague preferences... but other than some utterly essential maternity clothes I haven't bought anything at all. DP is a bit superstitious about buying stuff, and I'm a mix of too harrassed with re-decorating half the house and too indecisive to actually go and fork out cash for anything. Suppose we really had better get a couple of things...

Hi Sorky, do you mean the premax sling, I bought one for DD as she loved to be carried round and hated being put down, as she got bigger it was more difficult to carry on with the day to day things such as ironing or preparing tea with her asleep in a conventonal sling as my arms wouldn't reach round her! I found it great for when she fell asleep at the breast and I could just slip her into it as a cradel and carry on. I will deff be using it again and have upgraded my conventional sling to a Bush baby Cocoon as you can detatch the baby from the sling without having to get them out iykwim, as I woke DD up everytime trying to get her out of my upright sling.

As for being prepared I have bought a new sling, as above, still have DD's cot, a fantastic bedside cot, but am looking at getting a bedside crib also, Global who made them have now gone bust and they are like goldust and second hand ones are going for the same price as they were new, so if anyone hears of one please let me know. Am looking at double buggies, going to get a maclaren for in the car and uming and ahing about if I can justify the expense of a twin Mountain Buggy or whether to keep DD in the single and use a sling for bump for as long as possible. Oh, have bought a musical lightshow thingy today, half price in Argos (£9.99), the Chicco one that plays classical music, kept meaning to buy one for DD as she loved her Tiny Love classical mobile but never got round to it.

Been suffering from the worst heartburn and reflux for the past 48 hours, feels like I have a piece of food constantly stuck at the back of my throat, think it's the stress of having mega argument with not so D H!

Got my first proper antenatal with my midwife on Weds (don't worry it's through choice not neglect!), she is bringing a student with her who has decided to do her elective with an IM, and I will be laying down my I wills and will nots for labour and birth so hoping that will get everything in place.

Sorry for the long post, just got back from DS's karate lesson and thought I would catch up with everyone before downing a pint of milk to try and sort out this heartburn!

Becs...sounds like you need chocolate! Big hugs to you..somehow you'll manage. Just take it a day at a time and feel free to moan..seems to me you have good reason to. xxxx

... it's also heartening to hear that I am not the only one out there feeling a bit jaded just now. My restless leg problem is robbing me of hours of sleep most nights so I am exhausted but unable to do anything about it most of the time. I am also starting to feel so big that I must have the turning circle of an oil tanker. I can't get up out of a chair, bed or bath without heaving, grunting and having sharp back pain, and last night, while leaning forward on a bean bag, as recommended to try and get the wee person to turn up the right way, I got totally beached and had to shout on dp to come and rescue me. Not dignified.

Like several others have said here, I feel really like I am not myself. I wasn't exactly ActionWoman before I was pregnant but the sheer effort of even simple bits of shopping or housework is draining, and having to accept that I just can't get on with things like I used to is getting me down.

Does anyone else wish they could just have a couple of days off being pregnant ? Pass the bump over to DP for a bit and go off dancing, drinking and being generally irresponsible for a couple of days ? Or am I just a guilty bad mother already....

I agree suis..all the grunting and snorting that accompanies getting up and I sound like a rhino in season! (no comments about physical similarities please!!) xx

Well I've suffered from no sleep for long enough and took matters into my own hands last night. I drank a bottle and a half of Sol, got quite tipsy and didn't wake up once in the night! In fact my daughter woke me at 7.45am and I felt fab. I will do it again next week if the sleeplessness returns. Whilst I understand it's not to everyone taste, desperate times called for desperate measures, I had to pretend my daughter was ill and kept her off school on Thursday because I was so exhausted I knew I wouldn't make the 2 mile round walk to drop her off and then pick her up. How shameful is that?!?
The sling is here , anyone used it?

Sorky - I've been reading up a lot on slings as I plan to carry one child and pushchair the other rather than buying a double. hopefully DS will go in the pushchair and I can carry the light one lol! Anyway, best thing for baby is one that holds them in a lying or sitting with knees up position. In upright positions they should be supported under the bum with their knees up like a seat, rather than dangling by the crotch sort of thing. That is best for their spinal developmenet and to prevent pressure on the pelvis.

www.thebabywearer.com has some great stuff... although it's a little daunting. They have a bit that reviews pretty much every sling ever made so it might be worth looking at the ones you're interested in.

For DS I had a wilkinet but being an unconfident first time mum with a colicky baby I rarely used it. Though when I did he was happy in it. The facing out front position heloved but he was sick so much down the front of it (sicky baby in general!) it was always in the wash. Besides... I'm not sure how I feel about that position now I've read that they shouldn't be supported by the crotch.

I recently purchased an EllaRoo lightly padded ring sling - I use it for DS to hip carry him to give me a bit of support. Although he's still heavy and the heaviness is one sided, it's preferable to carrying him without it! I think it's fab and VERY easy to use. I'm hoping it'll be really easy with a newborn and that I'll be able to breastfeed in it.

My next purchase is going to be some sort of wrap... possibly the Kari Me. I feel it would support a newborn better, be really cuddly for the winter months and will also be better for my back as the weight would be accross both shoulders. I'm a little apprehensive about the tying etc but plan to buy it soon and try it out with DS and a few teddy bears first!

Sorky - I definately got after pains with DS, my first! You've actually scared me a bit lol... if I felt them first time what will they be like this time??? It was one of the things I was totally unprepared for.

Talking of things no-one ever told you...

1. a bloody show (mucus plug) can be VERY bloody. I panicked at all the mess! I did get checked over at hospital as I was sure it wasn't normal. They reassured me that it was, although mine was bloodier than most. It's wasn't like a little bit of discharge, it was loads and minging!
2. Afterpains, noone warned me!
3. Let down pain when breastfeeding. I knew that most people feel 'something' but I was unprepared that this could be quite uncomfortable
4. That the post natal bleeding can be quite 'clotty'. At one point I passed a clot a couple of inches diameter and it was the most horrid thing! But my mw said that as long as it was smaller than a saucer that was OK!

Lmao suzi!
God you're unlucky to get pains after your first I think. The bf let down does take a bit of getting used to doesn't it. I can remember counting backwards from 10 out loud through gritted teeth for the first few days. Dh would watch me wincing SZtill I am doing it all again so it can't be that bad. I'm so desperate to regain a flat tummy and be back to my pre-pg weight that there would be little I wouldn't be willing to go through to acheive this goal.
I've forked out 70 quid on a postnatal corset from Agent Provocateur to be worn for the first 45 days to help me on my way. Actually will I be able to wear it if I end up with a section, I wonder?
The bleeding lasted 6 weeks with my first and was still heavy at 5 weeks I would say, but the clots I passed with my second looked huge! I had a natural 3rd stage (at home) with my second and honestly thought that I was haemhorraging (sp?).
BUT without a shadow of a doubt the worst thing I ever experienced to do with having a baby, is having a poo after the birth. I have never known such fear!

PMSL sorky. That fear of pooing is AWFUL! I only had some mild grazing/tearing down below but felt like a bus had hit me up the backside. And pooing was indeed terrifying. I went several days without doing anything and I'm sure that was because fear prevented me. Thing is, it wasn't that bad at all Mind you, other thing I didn't consider was that weeing would nip a bit! So... take a small jug or cup in your labour bag. Fill it with water and pour it over yourself when you wee. Definately helps. Although I'm sure that stinging only lasted a day or so.