Due March 2007 - Heading for the third trimester

[Booboobedoo]

Thought I'd start a new thread as the other one's about to run out.

Kitty, that's really sad about your friend. Its unimaginable having to go through something like that .

Jem, dh is Swiss so we are a bilingual family. He speaks swiss german and I speak English. Ds is maybe a little slow with his language development (I think, not sure really what he is up to in Swiss german), but seems to have a mixture of both. I think the earlier you can expose your child to another language the better. You will be surprised how much your child will understand of the Finnish if your dh sticks with it and speaks to him/her only in Finnish.

We also have the names problem, its tough finding names in the first place but ones that sound OK in Swiss German and English is really tough.

Mrslmoss - were you supposed to know that she was planning to get pregnant???????? !!!

Just to clarify that is at your client not you!!!

leogaela, yes, I think he thought I should have somehow magically known she was planning to get pg. The fact is, even if I had have known, say if she'd told me on the qt, even leaving morality aside it would have been illegal for me to say.

It just makes me so angry, you hear all these sir digby jones types going on about not employing "women of childbearing age" (which could be anything from 10 - 60 at least!). It does feel a bit like the "system" is stacked against women who want to have babies. (And then when you get women who don't want children, they're accused of being selfish and horrible, so you can't win).

Foxy - afraid to say that TWO crappy instances occurred, therefore you are owed at least one other large treat.... please be sure that you do this.... Or you will be transgressing Preggy Law!

Kitty - I love the idea that we are all a big stewing pot of exotic genes and cultures. Its really cool.

Rosy - I managed to catch up with the thread a bit more, and have to beg you why you dont live in Cork ? My DH family are all there and it truly is beautiful and the people are so fab. He has a very big Irish family who are an absolute scream, perhaps thats why I like that part of the world so much.

Welcome Jem

Forgot who asked, but I also feel about 90 and am waddling... a very joyful sight.

Have your belly's all grown a bit lately? I seem to have had another growth surge...getting used to this now, I get lots of pain in the side belly and then seem to bump out - very odd.

I have taken afternoon off today - my American colleagues are off for Thanksgiving so its a perfect time to slope off and attempt baby stuff shopping without freaking out! Or, I may be lured back to my duvet

Have a good weekend all.

Onilly my belly is HUGE. But got it measured by mw yesterday and apparently it's right for how far along I am, or something.

(I worked out how to change my name!)

mrsmoss - that really sucks. In fact, if I was honest I have been on a downer lately as I had a bit of a "spat" with one of my peers who told me in a fit of spite "that he cant take me seriously now I am pregnant and about to go off for maternity leave, and why should he bother including / discussing with me anymore"
Amazingly he and has three kids , and he is a senior director in the business, so its not good that he holds this view.
I went ape shit at him, but frankly, thats how he feels and I think that there is much to be done to change this thinking across the UK/States still.

Did you place your candidate through their HR dept, I would raise it with them....... its an integrity issue.....

Moss - a great new name! hmm, now I have to think up a new christmassy one.

Onilly, I am very happy to hear that you are taking an afternoon off to have a rest.

I am so at the idiot employers that treat women so badly during pregnancy. Selfish idiots!!!!

Hi everyone.

Am appalled at these misogynist colleagues of yours - especially the ones who have kids themselves! Pity their poor wives.

I'm paranoid enough about my brain now I'm pregnant. Me & DH keep score when we watch Universally Challenged ( deeply sad, I know) and I always used to win, but not any more!

Foxy: hope you've recovered from your fall. A Mars a day keeps the worries away, eh Amazonian?

Welcome Jem!

Hi Onilly: I'm knackered too. Although I was so tired in the first trimester that I feel comparatively ok now. I would say I can achieve about 50% in a day of what I could achieve before I got pregnant.

Kitty: your birth vid sounds great. Am trying to find more positive birth experiences to make me keep calm about the whole thing.

Dolly: - sorry you're feeling so rotten. It's not surprising really: you must be so stressed at the moment. Want to meet for coffee and a nice slice of cake next week? If you come to mine you'll give me an excuse to make a chocolate layer cake...

Tried to go pram shopping with my Mum yesterday, but the shop was closed 'for stocktaking' when we got there: at 2pm on a Thursday. Was really hacked off. I have to plan my activity so carefully now as I get knackered so quickly. We're trying somewhere else next week.

Amie: congrats on reaching the third trimester! I'm just behind you.

EDD 3/3
25+5
Boy

Onilly, no, they're only a tiny company and don't have an HR department. On my other thread people are saying not to do anything so maybe that's right.

Leogaela, glad you like my new name!

You are right some employers are so mean, imo I think it's part of a wider malaise; working hours get longer and longer, and kids are seen as either an inconvenience (when young) or potential ASBOs (when a bit older).

But it is hard, before I got pregnant I remember pretending I didn't really like children, and all that kind of thing, in case my boss cottoned on to the fact that I might one day have children (and therefore tried to manage me out).

On a cheerier note the boss is out of the office until half one, I've been paid (so I'm blowing £100 on Tots Bots nappies this weekend) and it's Friday so I get to leave at half five!!!

Booboobedoo I play along with UC as well . (Especially if Liverpool Uni play!) I beat DH on science, literature and classical music type questions, but he beats me on everything else!

All this talk of UC is making my brain ache!!

Leo - what does it feel like to have two babies kicking rather than one? Do they both wake up at the same time, or can you sometimes feel one is awake and the other asleep? Shame about the Spa isn't it - that sounds a great thing to do when you're PG?

Rosy - I got your text, thanks. I will get a friend to try and save Kitty's birth vid for me then will send it off. It may take a few days, but hopefully not too long.

I work in Ealing, which has been inundated with Poles. I have to say I have a huge soft spot for anyone Polish, as about 20% of my class at school were Polish. The Polish girls worked so hard at school, they were an inspiration. Part of my job is overseeing employment and training programmes and most people we deal with are recent migrants. They are an absolute pleasure as they are so keen to buckle down, get trained up and get into jobs

Kitty - that's appalling news about your friend. The poor woman. I just can't imagine what she must be going through

JemK - How old is your DS? Most children we know who are bi-lingual had speach delay, but once they started they have a huge advantage having two languages.

Mossy - I lurve your new cool Christmassy name Your client is completely out of order. Did he expect you to get the candidate sterilised or something??

Onilly - PMSL at "Preggy Law" - will have to remember that one! Your colleagues comment was downright sexist. If someone said that to me at work I'd complain to HR (mind you I am a stroppy one). I bet he has a sahwife and thinks women shouldn't have children and work. I complained at work as one Director made a comment in a meeting about "whores draws" and "tarts knickers"!! I wasn't even in the meeting I'm glad I work in the public sector, where men don't dare make sexist comments

Boo - I am operating at about 25% capacity at the moment. Can just about crawl to work each day...

Laidback - got your text and have just e-mailed you a long list of all DS's Dr Who doubles!

I get the impression that other countries and cultures are far more family friendly than ours. I don't understand why everyone has to work so hard, lifes too short, its mad. I'm all for a slower pace and its not because I can't keep up or anything

Onilly its a big old long story why I don't live in cork, in brief, I did follow my free spirited, gypsy of a dh a couple of times but needed to make a stable home in one place for children and school etc. I may eventually move to cork -it is a lovely place, my support network of friends and family are here though so I am really reluctant to uproot and be totally dependant on my reliably unreliable dh. Argh getting anxiety pangs at the very thought of it...

what do you think of this festive name?

Kitty, loving your new name!

Rosy I think you might be right, I was reading the other day about mat/pat leave in France and it's so much better than here!

Fox he probably expected us to waterboard her to find out whether she ever intended to dare to get pregnant. I have calmed down a bit, now I just think, how funny that he's this stupid:

Like, she obvy got her perm contract on the door step, that very day she ran upstairs, had sex with her dh, did a pg test the very next day, and got a bfp?!

Boo / Onilly I am knackered, too! Am sleeping a bit less at night, too; struggling to find a comfortable sleeping position the size of my bump. Do a lot of napping during the w/end though!

Haven't been able to get on the computer since last weekend.

Had a bit of a scare this afternoon when DD texted to say she thinks she has rubella. Dashed home to check my blood test results in my notes and to see what the incubation period is. I was still immune at 16 weeks and according to various sites if you get rubella after 20 weeks the baby shouldn't be affected.

I've suddenly "popped" this week and people are noticing (luckily I told work at the beginning of the week). I'm also finding that just walking into town (10 minutes) at lunch time is becoming quite a strain. Does anyone else get what feels like a huge stitch all the way up the front of the bump after walking?

Evenhope sorry to hear about your scare, but I'm sure you'll be fine, if you've checked with your notes. Have you spoken to the mw / dr?

Re: stitch, yes, glad I'm not the only one, I get it really bad whenever I'm walking for longer than about fifteen minutes. Which is bad 'cos it's the only form of exercise I get @ the mo! I just make sure I stand right by where the doors open on the train so I get a seat.

hi, love all the new christmassy namesso much has happened again- sorry about your fall hark thehearald..sounds awful for you. Had my hair cut today by a genius with scissors-must say look and feel 10 years younger.. also like the mix- my dp is french and chatters away to my bump to get him or her off to a bi-lingual start! have got friend coming tonight who had a baby 20 years ago and has already advised me on nappies etc. have stashed chocolate around the house as clearly cannot swill wine with irritation

have a little question- was v brave yesterday and read about labour-and choices go out of window-its all about the mw decides to use forceps, get you to lie on your back etc etc- do they discuss things with you or just tell you, as can see I may be a little uncomfortable with being treated like that-also will be strange midwives so am nervous they wil just want to get finished and go home...

Rosy and Kitty - love the new names

Sponge - you can write a birth plan stating the type of birth you want. It doesn't always turn out the way you plan, but you can write down things you definately DON'T want and definately DO want. Also tell your birthing partner (DP?) so s/he can support you in it when it comes to he big day.

Hello Spongecake, try not to get too anxious about things. The mw cannot make you do anything you don't want. Hopefully if they ask to do a certain procedure it is because it is best for you and baby at the time.

Why don't you write a birth plan stating how you would like things to be done during labour if all is going well. I would very strongly advise against lying on your back unless you are having an epidural. It vs not conducive to a good labour.

Evenhope, I'm sure all will be fine. I too get stitches at the side of the bump. I got alot yesterday when swimming, think I was going to fast though . I was vaguely attempting to reduce the size of my thighs. I have become addicted to sandwiches and bread in general. Not a good thing

I'm finding bending over difficult now. Sadly all the children in my house are absolutely crap at tidying up so there's alot of picking up to do. Also I'm starting to drop things all the time now which means I have even more bending over to do !!!

Kitty - I find hte only way to do any clearing up is to crawl around on hands and knees. Another good christmas name!

Spongecake - if you are told or asked to do anything that you aren't sure about ask the reason why. I know its not so easy. So easy to read how things are done best in books, but in reality most of the world are involved in delivering babies don't seem to know what is the best way. should get a few more of them her on MN!

I get bh type contractions when I walk too fast which then become really painful if I don't stop and relax.

Switzerland has probably the worst maternity laws in Europe and the lowest rate of women going into higher education and the worst childcare provisions (kids are not even at school the whole day), longest (official) working hours, the lowest rate of women going back to work etc... , but I have been really lucky. I work with all men, a lot of them are dads and are really understanding and supportive. A friend of mine working in another department was getting strong contractions at about 32 weeks so decided to go off work at 34 weeks, her project manager made comments like 'what's wrong with you pregnant women, my wife worked up to the day she gave birht and was back 2 weeks later', and when her doctor wrote her off sick for a weeks (because of tiredness, stress and contractions) he said 'Oh, you must have a very nice doctor' ! my DH always says there are very good reasons that there are laws protecting women against redundancy during pregnancy, I didn't believe it but sadly I think he is right!

Fox - both the babies are lying transverse at the moment with heads in teh same direction and its really difficult to tell when one is moving or both. I thought I would feel as if I had an octopus inside me, maybe it will be like that when they are bigger. I do have some very quiet times so I guess they are quite in synch with each others sleep patterns which is a good start!

Leo they sound so sweet, lying there next to each other in your tum

I'm amazed what you say about Switzerland, I always imagined it was a lot more progressive than the UK. I think employers see women of child bearing age as a liability, but its just that some know better than to say anything, for fear of litigation, whilst others just say what they are thinking.

My boss gave me a big hug when I told him the news (he's a sweetie ). But I kind of thought "why is he being so nice? - surely if he valued me, he'd be upset I am going to be off for a few months"

He was also very understandng when he asked me a question last week and I replied "I don't know - I'm too knackered to think!!!"

Hi Evenhope - nice to see you back again

at some of the news and stories on here today. I'm really sorry, kitty, to hear about your friend. our families have had some similar stories this year sadly. it's so tragic.

also outraged at some of the work stories on here - you should all move to the public sector! mind you, my boss's reaction was hilarious. she is also dh's boss and he told her the 'good' news first 'weren't 2 enough for you then?'in disapproving tone, followed by other similar comments, then repeated the same to me 5 mins later. can't remember hearing any 'congratulations' along the way! Not that it matters or bothers me, I thought it was hilarious but I suppose it's lucky that I'm not easily offended or I'd still be sobbing in the loos.

switzerland sounds pretty bad for women and work/pregnancy. I was just going to post how everywhere else is great but I guess there are one or two exceptions. US is terrible as well. we spent 10 years abroad and it's a bit of a shock coming back to UK and the stupid hours people think it's normal to work etc etc. can't see the point of it myself but I've obviously gone native . but the tax credits thing, child benefit etc are not bad either so can't complain too much I guess.

I get that stitch too and can only walk at pace of very old lady with shopping trolley. today the children commented on how slow the buggy was moving! and that reminds me - my double buggy borke last week! horror!! now I need to get a new one but one that can carry weight of newborn on one side and 18kg 4 year old on the other. 18kg 4 year old is probably what knackered in the last one I supppose so I need something with serious chassis

hi ladies, i been a bit low this week, about my dp who has been sending mixed messages, about the thought of being a single mum to 2 kids under 5, about how fat i look, about your comments kitty and fox about the leads of the monitoring machines because i think i may end up not having a choice, specially because the doula i lined up to visit didn't turn up and eventually rang an hour later to say she hadn't even set off from home! i don't want a doula i want the father of my child ........ so i've stayed off here for fear of being deeply depressing, because i haven't had a cheerful word to say or even a half-cheerful one.. just checking in to say hi and hope everyone's doing well anyway xx