August 2015 part 3

[Dozygirl]

New thread for all due in August 2015

lily I was going to suggest sumac to frolic that u neither resell stuff u don't want or give away to friends or charity then it won't be wasted if they don't stop buying stuff. There will always be someone out there in need of stuff.
I'm the opposite with the PIL, I'm waiting for them to offer to buy something for us. They already know my parents hav bought the pram and they even mentoined they'd bought BIL his pram when he had twins but didnt then go on to offer to buy something. I was just presuming that it is the done thing that grandparents buy something if they can afford it which both lots can. I don't mean that in a snobby way or that I expect them to at all because we are more than capable of buying our own things but I just thought they would have offered by now. I had been willing to pay some money towards my pram that my parents bought because I knew I wanted one that was more expensive than other ones but because I found a deal my mum didn't mind. She's then gone on to offer to buy other things but I don't want to take any more money from them. The pram was more than enough. I said to save it till I was on maternity leave because I'd really like to take a year off but have no idea if we'll manage with the lower amount of money. I'm trying my best to save but with so many things to buy it gets tricky.

Sorry i got a bit carried away there!

happy I hope they do stop smoking in the house for u because I also wouldn't be happy about that. Even just the smell of it would put me off leaving the baby there. I don't have a problem with people smoking if it's their choice but they should always do it outside even if there is no baby there. It's just not pleasant for other people and stains everything. I wouldn't mind them using there own things if that's what they wanted though as it makes things easier when they drop them off so u don't have to lug everything around.

Talking of maternity leave dozy, do you (or anyone else) know if you have to decide exactly when you're coming back before you even leave? I'd like to take a year but the last 3 months will be unpaid, and I don't know if I can afford that until it comes to it, so may only be able to take 9 months. It seems unfair to have to make that decision months before the baby has even arrived!! My work's maternity application form says I have to put down an expected return to work date. EEK!

Ooh fanby less than two weeks for you then! I'll only be 20+4 so can't really complain, I'm just so impatient! This has probably already been answered (sorry) but are you going to find out the sex?

Yellow for the nursery would be lovely too. I love the idea of the very hungry caterpillar theme, I have a real soft spot for that book. I may have to take a wander over to Pinterest, although I could see that being a bad idea....

Dozygirl – that's odd that they mentioned your BIL and then didn't offer? I'd be surprised at that! As you say you can afford it but it's the offer that'd be lovely (or at least that's what I think). I doubt my IL's will tbh, they are the sort that made us invite their friends to our wedding and didn't chip in/get us a gift. I just tell myself everyone is different lol and that's what makes the world go round!

Pinkie – I'm fairly sure that you don't have to give your employer an exact date, they may ask an approximate (the expected RTW date) but i'm sure they'll be in touch part way through. I'm sure no one can make the decision until the actual time comes around –unless you have psychic powers--.
Yep, definitely hoping to find out the sex. I'm RUBBISH at suprises/not being in control lol. Unless you have a whole afternoon spare stay well away from Pinterest haha.

I'm off into town today for a market research gig on prams – not only is it paid, i'm actually hoping it'll be quite useful :D

Ooh, I've not been on for a couple of days and missed loads! Hope everyone is well and not suffering any sickness, aches or pains too much today! Has anybody been suffering with heartburn recently? I have, and it is horrendous!

Now, quick catch up...

Lilydreams My baby was hiding heartbeat too - the sonographer had me jumping up and down on the spot for five minutes, which DH found just hilarious! How lovely that your DH felt a kick - I can't wait for that to happen for us! Congrats on your baby boy!

LadesC Hi there and congrats on your little girl - how exciting to be able to buy a little pink babygro!

Dani240 One of each - how perfect - congratulations! And I love the pram - does it say bro and sis on it? Just too adorable!

Augustwedding Hurrah for the kick!

Fanby I am suffering from the most ginormous sweet tooth, something I never had pre-pregnancy! Now all I want is ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets! Fruit are a poor second best!

Lily and happygojo Sounds like you've got a stressful time on your hands at the moment, it is completely reasonable you are feeling this way, and I second what the others have said above. My MIL has started - she came over with some nappies and wipes the other day - but I would be very upset if she started buying all the exciting things before I even had a chance. I also agree with your view on the smoking situation, I wouldn't visit with baby or let baby stay there if there was smoking in the house. Hopefully the situation is better for you both soon!

pinkie87 I am sure you will feel kicks very soon! As far as I am aware, you don't have to give them a specific date, they should just be in touch every so often. Perhaps ask for a quick chat with someone in HR before you submit the form to be clear? They should be supportive and give you the advice you need.

Fanby The market research sounds exciting! How did you get to be a part of that, was it through MN?

I hope I haven't missed anybody, apologies if I have!

pinkie I was planning on ringing hr to get the low down on what I need to do because I also would like to take a year but worry about if I can afford it. I think u can give an approximate date and then if u change hour mind as long as u give enough notice then it can be changed. I can spread my pay put over 9 or 12 months so I'm going to ask to work it out for both 9 and 12 and see what the difference is and then see if I can add some annual leave in at some point to try to boost it up as I'll have 5 weeks carried over from this year.

Enjoy your pram day fanby. that's really odd that they didn't even get u a gift at your wedding! How very bizarre. Let us know if you decide on a pram

Latest development in the 'IL' saga:

I have to have a repeat scan tomorrow because baby wasn't playing ball last week. ANYWAY..... MIL asked to come and I said 'Its ok my OH is happy to go and we can only have 1 person' and I got the answer 'But he got to go with you last week'.................. yup............... and gets to go this week because he is the father!

They are visiting this weekend for Easter so I am going to try and shoe horn the smoking thing tactfully into conversation.

I don't want to hurt anyones feelings and I used to smoke (now I am soooo against it, I hardly recognise myself!) but i am fiercely protective of this karate kid in my stomach..... it better be this active for the scan in the morning!

Dozy I wish I was able to carry over annual leave for afterwards, I need to use all mine before I am due, so I am finishing four weeks early and have a few odd days here and there - it's not a huge problem but I would have much rather used the time afterwards!

happygojo I have no words! Of course your OH "gets to go". What a thing to say! Sounds like you're doing a good job of putting your foot down, I can imagine how difficult it is.

Oh that's rubbish omc. Guess working for the NHS has some perks finally lol.

Thankyou all so much you have reassured me I'm not crazy and now I know that I'm justified may well make more of an insistence that DH says something!

Happygojo- you are right misery loves company and I am glad I'm my the only one! crazy what we have in common 'MY baby' from your MIL is even worse you are right- I think I'd have bitten right through my tongue on that one! Yep my MIL is also talking about the baby being at hers ALL the time- before we had thought about buying anything at all she announced that a friend had a virtually brand new mamas and papas cot she was giving away and luckily I hadn't quite said 'oh that's really helpful thankyou' before she said 'so I'm having it for our nursery'!! Eh?! We hadn't even discussed the baby staying at theirs at that point and wven now she seems to think jt will be a weekly occurance from the word go- erm im not taking mat leave to chill out- its to look after ny child! The hospital thing- omg I feel for you we initially had 'tell me as soon as your in labour and ill be waiting outside the door' to which I said 'err no you won't' trying to explain that it could take ages etc and she said she would wait even if it was days- had to basically say we aren't even going to tell you in in labour unless you stop making such comments- DH had a word and she stopped in the end! I defo wouldn't be standing for the smoking- I'm with you on hating it and can't think of anything worse than a baby so pure and new reeking of cigs! Weird we both have to go back for scans too- cant believe your MIL said that though- mine is pushing for a 4D one which I don't personally like (think they make baby look a bit alien like- no offence to anyone planning one, its personal taste) and when I said so she said well we'll pay so it doesn't matter you just have to turn up- WTF I'm not a vessel what if I say I won't will she drag me against my will!!!

Fanby- as much as I'm ranting don't get me wrong the MJ babygro is beautiful!

Dozy- I probably will donate/ sell excess things it was more her buying the 'firsts' as frolic put it that upset!

All these nursery decorating ideas sound amazing- I'm looking but not touching at the mo as we are due to move house a few weeks before DD- hopefully anyway, its a new build so depends on the build time!

Having a lovely chilled evening tonight- chicken and bacon boxed salad from asda- weird craving and blueberry muffins, trash tv as DH out till later and a nice bath and early night as have to drive to Leeds at 6.30 in the morning for my Nana's funeral.

I hope you are both feeling better about the il's today lily and happy. I can't believe your mil expected to come to your scan happy! Very cheeky!
Mine aren't that bad, but I'm very different to mil and sil and that can be difficult at times. We're spending some time with them this weekend. It will be the first time we've seen sil since I've been pregnant. I'm sure she'll have plenty of 'helpful' advice for us. I'm already practicing my 'smile and nod'.

Your il's sound a bit mean dozy. Fancy telling you all about what they got bil and then not offering anything. Strange!

I know what you mean about trying to save. I'm so worried about being skint while on mat leave. I'd love the 12 months off but realistically will only be able to afford 9. I also work for the nhs and plan on doing the average monthly payment thing. Much easier to plan.

I hope you enjoyed the pram shopping fanby. Please share any good finds with us.

It's our scan tomorrow. I'm getting increasingly anxious. A few of our friends had bad news at 20 weeks so I think my mind is going into 'what if' overdive. I'm varying between being super excited, especially to find out the sex, and super nervous. It's going to be a long night!

X-posts lily.
I'm so sorry to hear about your nanna. I lost mine at around 12 weeks and it was a really emotional time. Take care of yourself

lily My MIL is pushing for a 3D Scan too so she can go but I agree with the alien thing. Also I think it is a bit unfair to have my MIL at a private scan and not my mum who lives far away, she already gets sad because she won't be able to be around to help and advise me much.

Frolic good luck tomorrow, what time is your scan? Mine is 9.20am. As I only saw bubs last week I think I will enjoy this one a bit more as I was so stressed last week! Any hunches on sex? I am hoping to find out too and I think girl. I just hope bubs cooperates.

My baby kicks away until OH comes within 3 feet of me and the it is radio silence. He is getting very frustrated!

Good luck tomorrow happy. I'm not in until 4pm. Hopefully work will keep me distracted until then.
I think boy, as does everyone else. I have no preference whatsoever. I really can't wait to find out. We've decided to book a private scan if they don't tell us tomorrow. That will probably be 4d - and I know what you mean abou the alien thing.

I can feel kicks quite strongly from inside now. But whenever I put my hand on the bump to try to feel them from inside they stop. Maybe he's shy?!

Thanks Frolic for you too. My dad sent me the eulogy today and I'm glad I had a chance to read it before tommorrow as I would have broken down- little did I know that as my nana was ill so many times over her life she wrote 20 years ago some words about dying and advice on living life to the full with messages to each of her sons- he has included it as the ending to the eulogy and it is utterly beautiful. She was 92 so an amazing life!

Good luck with the scan tommorrow and you too Happy!

happy your MIL sounds like hard work - I'd definately be having words with DH and getting him to support you. Is it just MIL or is FIL just as bad?

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow lily. My nana was 93 and an amazing lady. I hadn't read the eulogy before church and it really made me sob. i'm sure that it will help you to have seen it before.
I hope it's not too difficult a day for you. Try and bring your mind back every now and again to the new life you are growing. It helped me a lot to do that. I'm sure your nana was very proud.

Talking of sobbing - did anyone watch one born every minute tonight? I'm getting more emotional each time I watch

Good luck with your scan frolic And anyone else who has one. I think the private gender scans still tend to be in 2d rather than the 4d one. I'm only getting a 4d one done because there is a free trial at my hospital where the researchers are looking at the development of children and think that some things start developing in the womb so will be looking at how they respond to light and sound. Its done at 34 weeks. I'm going to get a private gender scan though just to have a second opinion on the fact it's a girl because I've heard too many stories of it being wrong And I want to get excited for definite. I thought mine was a boy too but apparently not!

Lily hope today goes as well as possible for you.

Dozy I'm in the NHS too but don't get to carry my holiday over (Jealous!) so I'm taking 4 weeks at the beginning of my maternity leave.

Frolic I watched one born, I was crying for most of it! Ha! Good luck today with the scan and to you too happy.

frolic & dozy I also didn't know about this averaging the monthly payment thing. Maybe I will get in touch with HR (again) and see if I can get it here. As far as I know I get 8 weeks full pay, 18 weeks half pay plus SMP, 13 weeks SMP, and 13 weeks unpaid. Is yours different?

I feel like last night I may have felt something! It was odd, I was just sat on the sofa with DH looking at carseats (dull) and felt three sort of taps or something that was almost like a muscle twitch quite low down. I like to think it was the first kicks, but who knows!

pinkie that sounds promising for movements. Once you tune into them you will begin to feel more.

Good luck Frolic I hope you have a super healthy and co-operative baby!

Karate FIL isn't possessive of the baby but is very funny about the smoking. MIL really needs to quit for health reasons but FIL is very much 'Well if you think I am quitting then you have another thing coming' and 'I don't see why I should be told where to smoke in my own house'. I think my MIL finds it quite upsetting because I KNOW if I said something like 'Quit or you can't see the baby' (extreme example, I would never say that) that she would throw the fags away and be like 'fine' because it would be the push she needs, but she won't be able to do it without the support of FIL. Such a mine field!

I watched OBEM too, I used to watch it all the time as I had a strange fascination with it. I now feel different about it. Definitely makes me think I want to stay as active as possible during labour.

I thought the same thing happy about staying active. I don't feel like it's encouraged enough on the show. Maybe it's just the editing, who knows.

Pinkie i have found with this season so far that they are showing more inductions and higher risk births, I am not sure whether that is just because of the hospital or whether it is a conscious decision to show more complex births. It could just be the way things have happened

My biggest fear (ok... not my biggest obviously...) is to be stuck on a bed. I would feel almost claustrophobic I think. I struggle to sit still enough to watch a film and even then I feel that films 2.5 hours plus are completely unnecessary so not sure I could stay still for labour!

That said.... I love me a bit of pethidine.... so I am not closed off completely to any options...

I am team girl! yay!

Congratulations happy! I assume she was fully co-operative and all went well. How lovely. :)

Yeah all went well. It was quite a quick scan and didn't get a new pic but they got the head measurements and managed to have a look at the sex. Was nice to have another peek at her

Glad to hear the scan went well Happygojo

Pinkie - re telling work, we can put down a date now of when we think we are going to come back but can change our mind as long as we give 8 weeks notice. I think if I didn't put a date down, they would assume I was taking the full year off. Best look at your maternity policy.

We can only carry over 5 days of leave only - everything else gets paid out at the end of the year. So I just decided to take 3 weeks of annual leave beforehand, though worried I will be very bored!

Anyone not bought anything yet? I haven't bought a single thing but thinking with the mid-season sale, might be a good time to do some shopping. Unfortunately have a horrible cough and cold at the moment so it's going to be lots of online shopping!