Due in July 2007

[RH]

Hello All

Hope I am correct in beginning a thread for July 07. BFP today (23rd October) and EDD 2nd July 07.

By way of a brief introduction; live in the South West, work part-time, have DD aged 5 and DS who is almost 3. Have been incredibly lucky this time as made decision to try for third and hey presto seem to have achieved it on first attempt (much to DH disappointment if you know what I mean!!).

Look forward to 'meeting' you and sharing this amazing experience with you.

Congrats bubble

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Ahhhh, Bubble thats lovely!!!! _ its so nice to hear baby news. What's your neice's name?

Thanks Firststar - You are so right, its much better to focus on the 75% chance that all will be well rather than the 25%. Its so tempting to think that its less likely to happen this time because it happened last time, but deep down I know thats not how it works.

they have called her Violet which i think is lovely and just glad it wasnt the name we have chosen if its a girl { martha or lydia} going to see her this evening cant wait she was born on my brothers bday { hes the father} aswell so that was a nice present for him

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I am awful. I am the worst person alive. I saw a friend in the EPU unit this morning and told her that I was preg. (God knows why, she was in EPU so obviously she was having trouble, Why did I open my mouth)
She then told me that she was bleeding and her eyes were all puffy and she had a drip up. I felt so bad but I couldn't stop opening my mouth and crap coming out. She went in for her scan and I didn't see her again.
I asked the nurses how she was and all they said was that it wasn't good. They told me later that she had lost the baby(12 weeks) and she wanted me to know but not see me as she would cry. At that moment I was already beating myself up inside. They were trying to admit her to my ward but we had no beds and she wanted to go home anyway. Not sure what happened to her.
I have turned into the people I hate the most. The self centred, self obsessed cows. I hope to God she is ok. I hope she realises I'm just a idiot and I didn't mean it.

Typhoonsmum, don't beat yourself up about it. if she is a good friend she will have realised that you were just excited to be pg. I'm sure she was probably so taken up with her own situation that she probably didn't even take in a lot of what you were saying. Send her a nice note and some chocs, I'm sure she will forgive you if she is a half decent friend, you'd understand if the positions were reversed i'm sure.

I might do that. But I'll wait till the intitial hurt has faded, or would waiting be opening a fresh wound. I don't know what to do for the best.

To make the day even better the boss found out I was pg (She tried to get me to take a trolley to theatre and I said I wouldn't)

I'll give you a brief history. I have recently been promoted to Primary Nurse which means I have to run a Pregnancy Counselling Clinic. The boss didn't want me to be promoted and someone went over her head to get me it. When she found out she told me that the Board of Obstertrians says that it is fine to push trolleys in early pregnancy. I told her i wasn't taking any chances due to my history. She agreed with me on that one. She then mentioned that pregnant people aren't meant to deal with formalyne (which is a big part of my job) so how was I managing that. (She was trying to make out if i would deal with formalyne then i could push trolleys) I told her the other staff were doing that part of the job for me. She then told be that I can't really be doing the role i'm doing then.

This worried me as I knew that would be her reaction and that is why I didn't want to tell her till I had to. I went to see the obstertrian that heads the Pregnancy Councelling Clinic (The person who went over my bosses head) She said that my boss was probably only saying that on the spur of the moment and I should speak to her privately if she does try to take my promotion off me. If I wanted the obstretian to come with me to talk to her then she would. She confirmed to me that she can't take my promotion of me on the sole fact that I am pregnant.

The promtion is only temporary so I am panicking that it will be removed when i go on Mat leave anyway. I need to get it made permanent.

Oh tM what an awful day > your boss sounds like a complete cow!!!!!! She is on very dangerous ground if she is trying to force you to do something even though you are pregnant and do not feel it is safe or encourging you to some some thing that is known to be harmful (the formalyne) the sex discrimination laws cover this. She should know better working where she does Did she have one of her mates lined up for the promotion (jobs for the girls ) or is a personality clash i.e. she has none!!! or alternatively she's just a bitter and twisted cow the obsterician you have on side sound v nice, good luck occasionally a few shots across the bows quoting legislation can quickly put her back in her box but as you said you want the promotion to be permenant and as an effective manager you have negated the problematic areas of the job until you are able to deal with them again

Waffling now but this kind of stuff really p's me off!! good luck (again)

Oh bless you typhoonsmum, it all sounds so unfair. Such a rubbish day and it's the last thing someone in "our condition" needs. Send your friend the card asap imo and forget about work - as a pregnant woman at work you are in a really strong position legally so your boss really should know better than to be saying those sort of things. Get something rubbish to eat and put your feet up!

I cant believe i will be 8 week tomorrow, the mc risk is 3% at this point (book i have), so i am keeping my fingers crossed.

Just catching up on all the posts after being in training all day today.

Earlyriser - hope your spotting has now stopped. Are you going to see a GP tomorrow?

Typhoonsmum - I can imagine how you must be feeling, my sil lost a baby through m/c the same week I annouced I was pregnant with DS - does make you feel uncomfortable even if there's nothing you can do about it. Try to be there for your friend if she needs someone to talk to though.

Today I have received notification of an appointment to see my consultant next week, am due to be closely monitored as am classed as high risk following DS's birth. Am also going to have a scan which was a nice surprise as I wasn't expecting to have one for a few more weeks yet - will be keeping fingers crossed for the next week and hoping that everything looks OK....

MMmmm. Mid-way through a Curly-Wurly, supplied by my big sister. Bliss.

Typhoonsmum. That's grim. They're on very shaky ground treating you like that. [sound of furious chewing of toffee and chocolate]

mmmmm doughnuts

She isn't encouraging me to do the things just saying that I "Can't do your role" bcoz of it.

ie I should have my dark blue uniform removed and have royal blue back.

No one else wants the job because it is dealing with abortions (touchy subject I know) but Fat face - my boss- has her own list of girls to get promotion and I am not on it so she has had her nose put out. Even tho her list of people didn't want the job anyway. There is a lot of politics in the ward and it is very them vs us. The bad thing is them = 28 members of staff
us = 5 members of staff

anyway I won't get started,

The obstertrian ( i can't spell that word) is the one I have picked to look after me during this pregnancy. (Perks of the job) She is the nicest one there that is why went to her. Plus she has a 3d scanner so I'll get one of those scans later on

Curly wurly! Yum!!! If I wasn't on my own with DS in bed I'd go and buy one right now! Should really read my posts too - mice pies! Hehe!

firststar have had cvs before with last pg and all went well. You're supposed to do nothing for 2 days due to risk of m/c of the procedure (big needle in tummy to collect cells from the placenta - sorry if anyone's feeling queasy, TMI) - will be interesting with 12m ds! And 3 flights of stairs to get up and down, of course. It went well last time and totally stopped me worrying hence we're doing it again.

chooster - really sorry to hear about your loss. It's a horrible waiting game isn't it? It sounds like we have a different situation as we have (if I remember correctly from last time) a balanced translocation which means a 33% m/c chance (due to chromosomes being so messed up), a 33% chance of passing balanced translocation on and 33% of normal(!) chromosomes. And a 1% chance of having a baby that either doesn't make it to full term or who is so severely affected that won't make it past the first few months, which is tiny but real. Which is why I get freaked out when the genetic counsellors have a field day. They get v excited when they've potentially got some disastrous chromosomes to play with

So we're over our first 33% hurdle I feel by seeing a heartbeat - altho I guess that's not true until 13 weeks, but that heartbeat for me is the most precious thing as that's what we didn't have before with our m/cs And they say that 33% is only twice the average chance of m/cs so it's not as bad as it sounds, I like to think And it explains my m/cs too, which is a blessing and a curse as most people's test come back inconclusive. And the passing on of a balanced translocation doesn't nec mean anything bad, so trying to ignore that bit.

Sorry for waffly long post. Not the kind of thing I talk about in RL. Kind of therapeutic(sp?) to share. Will book flight/train to Edinburgh. In-laws live in Davidson's Mains. Where are you chooster? I'll be the one you spot in George St with top jeans button undone stuffing my face with mice pies

and good luck typhoonsmum - they don't have a leg to stand on messing with a pregnant lady. And send your mate a card asap - she will appreciate it knowing you're thinking of her (or at least that's how I would feel). Tomorrow will be better

Hi All, I posted a while ago with my stats and haven't added anything since. TBH I'm a bit worried about spreading the word still- it all still seems a bit early. Am only 7 weeks today and although it's mt 2nd pg am still worried about losing it. does anyone have a feeling that they aren't actually pregnant? Apart from lack of period adn tiredness (quite usual anyway) I don't really have any signs. Read about a woman recently who only relaised she had miscarried when she went for the scan and am really worried about it all. Mad I know.

I am in a total panic, pg not planned, and even though 8 weeks, only found out a week ago, so worried about mc, seeing midwife tomorrow, so will maybe talk to her.
I have told a few people, but all for reasons.

yawn. Morning all. DD slept through.... well to 6.00 so thought I may as well get up. Can't believe how tired I am at work and nobody (well they are being polite actually) has twigged yet. Was freezing all day yest, and was asked if I was coming down with something. Errrrr

Good morning.

woke up feeling rubbish but not giving FF any ammo so i'm going in.

Ding Ding round Two

Good luck TM. Jennster, I too have a dd who thinks that 6 is an acceptable time to wake up, used to be 5.30 so i suppose i should be grateful, but it still feels like the middle of the night. My spotting seems to have gone away (fingers crossed) but i reckon it's time to stop using the backpack for a bit. I just always thought the 'no heavy lifting' rule only applied to later pg, what on earth are you meant to to if you have a heavy toddler?!
On the food front, if you crave sweet does it 'mean' you are having a boy and savoury a girl? I just couldn't face chocolate right now.

on the heavy lifting, i put a new laminate floor down about 2 weeks ago (would have been about 6 weeks pg), before i found out. Dh took ds out and left me to it. Witch meant moving boxes, and jigsawing the fllor to the right size, opps.

Hello everyone - hope you're all doing ok.

TyphoonsMum - not sure if you're doing this already, but make sure you keep detailed notes about every interaction with FF (love the name). The notes should detail when you spoke, where the conversation happened and what was said (note if anyone else heard what was said). Everyone on here is absolutely right that you are protected. However a full log of the incidents that have taken place will really help you. (It will also act as a little deterrent for FF should it come to it).

Is FF your line manager? I would consider sitting down with your manager and agreeing how your work activities will be handled while you are pg. This is a) important for you and your health b) will prove that you are taking every step to ensure your job is done well and that you are acting professionally and exactly the way a promoted person should act. By doing this you should also avoid having to have petty conversations with FF about individual activities as they come up.

In terms of your promo - what terms and conditions have been attached to it? Have you been told how long the promo is temporary for? Do you have objectives to reach before it's made permanent? If you want to safeguard the promo, then I would strongly recommend getting this sort of info in writing as soon as poss. That way you will have at least some more confidence that any decision made about the promo is objective and not simply based on whether you will be at work or on mat leave.

Finally - if you have access to a union it can be useful to involve them if the above doesn't work out. Good luck with it all

Today I will mostly be eating 45 ham sandwiches. Mmmmm..

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