April 2015 Thread 11: The finish line is in sight as we get closer to maternity leave and our babies!

[BrixtonBunny]

Old thread getting full xx

No problem cinnamon!

Hope the scan goes well.
(Sorry if it's double posted, phone went mad)

daholster, I'm so sorry it's really tough at the moment, especially if DH's response is to be so defensive. I hope you manage to get some quiet together time in the next few weeks to smooth stuff out.

RL20, seconding cinnamon's advice on snuggling up together and the benefits of spooning in bed. We're very tactile and it makes an enormous difference - not to mention helping DH bond with the bump, especially now that there's a good chance he'll actually feel some movement around bedtime.

31 week appt today, which hopefully won't show up any abnormalities - other than an obviously growing bump, I'm feeling pretty much the same as I did at the last appt, which I'm taking as a good sign.

DH surprised me last night by saying 'I'm kind of assuming that the baby will be [name] if it's a boy'. It's a name we'd both discussed and had put on the like list (one of the few!), but that was at least three weeks ago, and we've not talked about it since. So he's been siting there mulling away and the name has grown on him. Thankfully, I still like it too :) Of course, he then took the conversation to the silly place by adding "yes. [name] Ashurbanipal [surname]" and looking all serious. I told him that if he was that dead-set on Ashurbanipal for a boy, he could tell our vicar!

I have rung in sick today feel terrible, I've been sick and have pains at the top of my bump. DH is at work and nobody is answering the phones and he has left his mobile here on charge. I've come back to bed so hopefully I feel better after a sleep as I didn't sleep well last night.

Cinnamon that's kind of you, thanks! Just to reassure everyone, I usually get our night time nappies and snacks from SHOPS and charge my phone at work or at home

Good luck with today's scan.

Daholster I bet my DH would be like yours if he was knackered and feeling rubbish about the situation too. Someone suggested taking time out for a walk/ coffee just the two of you which sounds like a v gd idea. Sending big hugs though as know what it's like with a toddler and being preg and that's without your out of ours work to contend with.

Brumma we used to get that milk when DD was younger. Now she's 3 I've switched to the semi as my mum who is in my house quite a lot won't drink full cream milk so I was having to remember to get two kinds. DD still asks for the blue milk and says when she has her own money she will buy it for herself!

Oh and Wine hope you feel better soon good on you for taking it easy.

Annia good luck at your appointment.

We only have blue milk and DD is almost 4. It helps that DH prefers it on his cereal (he's such a cereal monster) everyone else just gets what they are given in our house.

Get well soon Wineandchoccy!

Milk is one of my big bug bears, when I had ds1 advice was full fat until 5 now all the preschools and nurseries round here have semi skimmed. As most of the vitamins and minerals are fat soluble the kids are missing out! Plus it tastes much nicer . Nothing wrong with fat in a balanced diet, we've gone mad with low fat everything as everyones panicked about obesity, despite it not being better for you in many ways.

I'm sure I read somewhere that skimmed milk has more calcium than whole milk but I can't fathom that out. Surely if you water something down it will have less not more? Unless they add extra crap to it to boost it?

I was told by the dietitian that I should drink whole milk with skimmed milk powder in. (She also suggested I add said powder to fresh orange juice) I was trying to put weight on at the time but I just couldn't stomach all the extra milk I don't really like it.

Thanks all, now I am craving full fat milk!! Haha

Hope you feel better wine. And hope things improve daholster

There isn't a shortage of mum&baby groups at all, every day of the week there is something on in the various towns and villages round here... It was just that there didn't seem to be a chance to meet any other mums-to-be, and realistically how quickly do you go to these things? I can't imagine wanting to bundle my week old baby into the car to go to a chaotic toddler group...

Everyone talks about new motherhood being so lonely but I'm naively thinking it may be a lot less lonely than my life now!?

I suppose its the quality not quantity of the socialising though. Fingers crossed for some nice people!!! Xxx

Moomin, is there a mums' Facebook group for your area, if you've not already looked? New mums and mums-to-be will probably be hanging out on there too, so that might be a good place to start building some contacts.

Wine, have a good nap and I hope you wake up feeling better.

Moomin it did take a while to get to the stage where I could reliably be out the front door by a certain time after DD born. Just take it at your own pace.

Cinnamon if I found out a new mum I'd met was a childminder I would hang on for dear life in the hope that I would get to know her and then potentially be able to make the most of her when baby a bit older.

Milk - I agree I think full cream probably is better on balance it's just not convenient for me so I ditched for semi. But we are big consumers of butter yog and cheese in our house, all full fat, so i think we're doing ok for fat soluble vits

Lauren I've heard that about calcium too it's bc the calcium is in the watery bit not the fatty bit. So if you strip out the fatty bit you have more of the watery bit, hence a greater concentration of calcium by volume. Or something.

Oh and ...
squat swapping sides of the bed was one of the first things we did! My DH still grumbles about it... I couldn't care less! I said we could swap back eventually, but we are getting a SnuzPod bedside crib which can only go on my new side so ha!
RL I recommend cuddles! Its all we can do at the moment but we have lots and lotsss of cuddles and kisses whenever we are together and at bedtime. It does wonders for feeling closer!

Thanks annia , but yeah I tried everything internet wise thinking there might be preg yoga or swimming or SOMETHING... I'm really shocked that nobody seems to put stuff on the net here. MN and Netmums and FB is painfully quiet for my area, I've put out feelers and got nothing... yet the place is swarming with prams!?!

Moomin, there's a possibility that the mums group for your area on FB might be a private one, and you have to be invited to get in... that's the case for the one around here, which I've only got to join because I have a friend who is already a mum and who invited me. If that's the case, then it's all a bit like the magic circle - you have to be in to be in!

blue milk here and will stay this way!

new reports say dairy fats are good and i won't change now...

we used to have skimmed growing up and I am overweight, while DH always had full fat and is thin...

moomin I went to groups from six weeks cos I was so lonely and hadn't bonded with my NCT group. Most groups had special baby areas so they're not sat on by toddlers.

Lots to catch up on since this morning (before I fell back sleep!) so sorry if I've missed any posts out!

Squatting - I know how you feel with the bed situation. We actually have a king size bed and have done for the most part of living here, but because were so used to it, it doesn't feel big enough anymore! Which sounds silly. It could be because were due a new mattress though (well, I think we are anyway!) I'm also in need of a few more pillows as I use one for in between my legs so I feel like my face is a bit flat against the bed! And yes we have 'sides' too. Luckily the area next to my side is slightly bigger which is where the Moses basket will go, and his side is next to the radiator anyway so it's worked out quite well, because I don't see how I could of got him to swap sides! Is that a man thing? Not sure.

Cinnamon and Annia - Thank you, I suppose it doesn't help that when we go to bed which has been relatively early recently, he's asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. But I can't blame him as he starts work early and mainly finishes late.

Wine - Hope you're feeling ok. Get plenty of rest! Sometimes I think we just overdo it without realising.

On the subject of milk, I've had full fat milk for quite a while now. Other than in cups of tea at my mums house, I can't really taste semi skimmed milk now! I couldn't imagine having cereal with semi skimmed (even though I mostly always did when I was younger). I always remember my dad having the 'red' milk though ?? I'm pretty sure that's just white water!

Probably not what anyone wants to talk about in the AM, but I think one reason I'm a bit nervous about getting intimate too often is because of positions etc. Is there even a position that is better/safer? I know it's a given to be a bit more gentle and slow, but I just feel like I want to cross my legs when I think about it!

Oh and following on from my original post, I ended up texting my partner telling him about the dream I'd had and how bad it made me feel that we hadn't been getting close, and promised him I'd try my best to see how I felt tonight, providing he doesn't finish work too late. So hopefully I feel ok about it by tonight!

not at all ewby i want to DTD, a lot, but just seems to get sore. I'm fond of an afternoon quicky when were not at work though so that see's me through ;) DH isn't too fussed either way, he gets really concerned if I feel uncomfortable, which is nice.

daholster it's so hard when your Dh is working hard, and i can't even imagine how hard it is when you already have a todler and he'll be working away not just long hours. been having similar discussions with DH because they are introducing a night shift at work again and I know he'll end up being roped in to over see the factory lads because we no longer have a factory manager (was his dad but he left). and they take advantage of him because he doesn't say no and we live the closest to work. i keep trying to see it from his point, that he's keeping work happy so that he has flexibility later when he needs it but it's just one more thing to get annoyed about. I hope you and DH manage to have some nice time together without work rearing it's ugly head :(

we have our third antenatel class tonight and the last one next week they are getting a HV in so should find out a bit more then. today's antenatel is about the last stages of labour. hope they remain positive, don't want them messing up my hypno hippy vibe :) lol

squatting deffo push for a bedside swap! me and DH did it for the same reason that I needed to sleep on my left but hated facing into the bed and my maternity pillow kept falling out of bed from behind my back. sleep is much better for both now. I started by just getting in on his side and faking deep sleep so he didn't want to move me, and then told him how wonderfully i'd slept ;)

Beds... SUPER KING is the way to to, if you can fit one it's the best thing ever...

we are both quite hot sleepers and like our space... enough space for both of us and a 3 yo in the middle occasionaly!

mmm milk, me and DH drink quite a bit but we have the 1% stuff (i think it's orange or purple depending on if it's from Asda or Tesco). or sometimes we get it from our local because it comes from the farm behind our house, that stuff is super creamy and delicious!

Oh daholster sounds like things are pretty awful at the moment with the sheer amount of stress you're both under! Perhaps he really should skip that men's weekend away to spend some time with you and DD!

I'm sure our bed is shrinking, we had a massive disagreement last night about who's arse was on the other persons side of the bed,the when DD woke up at 5:30 this morning he brought her to bed and guess who's side she ended up on? I ended up kicking them both out of bed at 6! He sleep has been awful this past week or so, she's overtired and then ends up napping in the day, DH thinks the solution is a later bed time, except he's not the one who deals with her if she's so tired at night that she won't sleep, I am, and I know she'll react really badly to later nights, as it is if it was something we had any chance of maintaining I'd put her to bed earlier than we currently do, but I can't cook dinner and get her ready for bed and I can't eat any later than we do. he's in 7pm finishes next week so won't be home till almost 8, so I'll be eating alone and then cooking for him when he gets in given that he's apparently forgotten how to cook or do dishes >.>. Men suck.

Anyone else feel like their bump has shrunk?

moomin try your sure start centre too, some of them have bumps and babies sessions. Also look on NCT website. Our local cafe has a bumps and babies session every week and you don't have to be an nct member to go.

Re beds, dh and I gave up on trying to share around xmas. He sleeps in the spare room, apart from weekends. Otherwise it gets too sad if we never share a bed. But we both sleep better apart. I seem to get very hot at the moment and need the heating off, and both windows open at least six inches to be able to sleep. Dh says it's bloody freezing and penguins would be better suited. Plus the space issue in the bed, with my pillow mountain. Dh isn't a big bloke (65kg of cycling build) but even so, I end up leaving him with about six inches to sleep in. Oops.

We're sleeping ok but I agree I absolutely can't have DH breathing on me. We both need to face outwards.

My bump seems to be getting bigger not shrinking. I think I might rename it boulder. And I am on day two of being ravenous. Have had weetabix with banana, tea, an apple and a second banana so far today and just want to keep troughing. Ridiculous.

I think I'd be tempted to get him to reheat what I cook TheBooMonster, if he's not making any other effort! I think my bump is lower as I haven't had any heartburn for a week or so but not smaller.

I don't think any position is safer RL20 you just need your oh to be aware of how you feel. Easiest for us is either me laying with dh kneeling (would be missionary if he could lay down on me) or me lent over something or hands and knees with him behind but he has to be gentle as that easily bashes my cervix now! Me on top is ok for a bit but I have to be very upright as my bump is uncomfortable even if I lean forwards slightly and that then gets uncomfortable.

I agree, at one of my local sure start centres, they do a lot of groups too. I was given a leaflet with the different groups they do eg bumps and babies, I can't remember the others as I've left the leaflet at work! Will post when I get round to it.

Boo - I also thought my bump had shrunk! Although when I occasionally walk past a mirror and take a glance, it looks normal. And my mum said the other night that bump looked 'massive' compared to normal but I really couldn't see it! I suppose it can be different positions that the baby is in? I'm not sure. I've still not got a very big bump though considering there's only possibly 9 weeks to go, although I suppose there's still plenty of time to suddenly balloon? I don't know, but anyway you're not the only one who thinks it!