July thread - we are nearing the end of the first trimester, announcements will be made soon!

[fattycow]

New thread, as the other one was nearly full! Can someone please post the stats page, as I'm useless with things like that!

sophie, that's v considerate re fb announcement worries. Personally, I never had any issues until I mc and then anything baby related was tough to see popping up all the time (worst was ppl moaning about various pg wonders as I was desperate for sickness or a big clunky bump!) Having said that, it's a wonderful thing you're experiencing and friends and family should be delighted for you and you shouldn't have to pander to/sensor your happiness for the occasional one or two just in case you hurt their feelings. If they're really upset, they can choose to unfollow your feed (which I did with one of my friends who gave birth on the day I mc). This is all my very personal opinion and I know everyone is different.

We will be putting it onto Facebook after we've told some people personally. I know that it can be upsetting for some people, but they can choose not to follow me in their feed.
Also, it is how life it. Good things happen and sad things happen. Sharing both types of things is healthy. If you only share sad things, you are spreading gloom. If you only share happy things, you are giving an unfair impression of your life.
Finally, we all have our own struggles and they are all equally important to the person experiencing them. Of course it is horrible when someone is seriously ill. But that doesn't mean that my morning sickness isn't making me feel like shit!

I was trying for 4 years and have 2 failed ivfs behind me. Yes Facebook announcements can be a little upsetting but then it wasn't about me. No one purposefully waved it in my face. No one did it was malicious intent.
It's up to me to deal with my feelings, not other people.

I'm not sure yet if I will put it on Facebook. I am quite limited with my friends and only have work colleagues and actual friends on there, not many acquaintances. I think probably will but not straight away, think will prefer to tell people individually first. Also have family member that recently suffered cm so am going to tell her straight after scan if all is well, and don't want to upset her more by putting on Facebook. Don't have any friends who could have fertility problems etc as none in that position in a relationship, just the one family member.

I'm not a big fan of the big Facebook scan announcement. I'm more likely to put up a pic later of my massive belly later on! But each to their own! I have had mc and although it does sting a bit when folk put up their announcements I accepted that is just life and tried to focus on being happy for them. It's hard but I think they'd understand your excitement.

Had booking in mw appointment today and got scan letter - 9th jan, I'll be 13 weeks.

Found out I'm O negative so got to go for anti-d jab later on and if I get any bleeding. Anyone else O negative?

Starting to feel a bit more real now, we did our baby budget tonight.

Forgot again

9+3

Def no FB announcement from me. Those who need to know will know in real life. If anyone else is that interested then they will see from photos of my massive belly (if all goes well)!

leela I'm A negative. Do you know your dp's blood group as if he is also negative you won't need the anti d.

We probably won't do a big fb announcement. We didn't put a bump photo up until 30 weeks last time either because of all the stress we had in the pg. Until I know everything is ok at the 20 week scan I wouldn't want it to be on there.

What i dont like about announcements/telling people was with the ivf im convinced it is the 1 shot so the more people that know the more concern from people and when will you have another comments and affect on your career for maybe no baby at the end.
But also if something happens theyve seen the pg announcement, been told youre pg but miss the ... Oh no sadly... Announcement or dont bump into you again and so theyre thinking youre still pg or had the baby, awkward all round.

This happened with someone in last antenatal group 1 of them told me x is 3mths pg with no 2 . Which i thought oh theyve gone on to have baby by now. Met the same person again and x had mc and mc at least once, i think 2 times more. That could have been awkward if id talked to them and mentioned about the baby i thought was say 6mths old by then. (She is now pg successfully, and probably had it by now). Even after all that still had Dc2 sooner than me due to my ivf taking so long.

Thanks broody. Yes such a relief.
Though i now have a new concern. Well 2 i saw mw about the green cervical mucus and they took another urine (one last week mislabelled , though im sure the just dipped) and a swab done for things like step B, thrush, yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis etc.

but my main worry was that my thyroid bloods can back a little hyper 0.25 (range 0.27 -4.2) so im going to check with gps tomorrow to see if they have a copy and if the gp has reviewed it. Its dropped from 0.91 in a week and a bit.

2.5 week 4 +4 dose increase 4wks
0.91 7+4 so almost 4 weeks later
0.25 9 +1 5 wks later
and the effect of dose increase could be measured 4-6 weeks later just hope its not continued to go down this week too.
Im on metformin too which im stopping this will likely make the level go up a bit hopefully. Thyroid issues are so complicated too far either way causes mc.
Its odd as i did the standard dose increase but it would be a big effect as i was on a small dose before pg. people talk about hypothyroidism affecting how they feel well i still have constipation (hyper would be diarrheoa) feel tired. The only thing i would say is im soo hot at night, like roasting but that has been the whole pg.serious side effects like heart beating too fast and jittery im definitely not getting. (Though i can hear my heartbeat in my ear :) strange)
Pg can probably mask both hyper and hypo symptoms

Ditto Leela and DustOff. No facebook announcement here either (also won't be putting pictures of my child on social media once it's here). I won't even tell anyone other than our parents and siblings until at least 20 weeks (I can get away with hiding bump from all my friends in the UK as I'm abroad!) Not for any particular reason really, I guess I just feel it's all quite personal for me.

Leela i think that makes you a universal donor. Very much in demand i expect.

Im negative too. The mw told me today they will test blood at 16wks for fetal dna and if its negative too then you dont need the jab. Seems like a lot of effort to go to. I didnt realise tgey were so expensive.
Probably why they wouldnt give it me when i fell down the stairs.

For your partners: essential reading

Nature the father being negative too sounds a much cheaper option. But im thinking they cant rely on the a significant minority of kids fathers arent their father.

Or with ivf - i joke DC1 is smart because shes the consultants :)
She is like mini-me crossed with DP sister

Evening ladies, I experienced my first hormonal possession breakdown experience this evening.

Still not feeling great and after fainting last night and almost again this morning I decided to ring the Dr's. Got asked to come in, so made an apt. For 6pm and DH arranged to leave work early in order to take me (I'm almost an hr bus journey away from Dr's, and didn't feel upto the 20-30min walk to the stop either). Anyway, DH calls me and says he's stuck in really bad traffic due to an accident and won't get home until 20mins after my apt. time, let alone the 15mins drive across town during rush hour to get me there. So I ring the surgery with 30mins till my apt. Explain the situation, apologise and ask if there's anything they can offer later. I get told no but if I get a Dr call back, they may be able to fit me into onto of the "Dr slots" instead. Call back comes at 5:55 and it's a really stuck up Dr who basically went into one at me about wasting their time when they have 10k patients on their books and that I HAVE to make that apt. So I should order a taxi! I tried to explain I couldn't nor would I pay out the £12 each way cab fare for the apt. And that I was sorry for cancelling but it couldn't be helped nor foreseen that my DH would get caught in traffic. He really had a go at me and ended the call with me in tears and him telling me in no uncertain terms that I was wasting his time, and if I was really ill I'd make the apt... I couldn't believe how rude he was, in general a Dr shouldn't speak to a patient like that, let alone an unwell pregnant woman who's had less than 9hrs sleep in 3days! I felt so broken down by him I spent the next 20mins till DH got home crying my eyes out. I am not usually a cryer, so it got to me even more that someone in what is supposed to be a helpful and respectful position put me in that position.

I waited until I'd calmed down, then rang the surgery back to get the Dr's name in order to make a complaint, and also rebooked a new appointment for tomorrow night. This time taking their last appointment of the evening so DH doesn't have to owe work anymore time.

Feel so ashamed at myself for letting him get to me like that though. Ended up almost giving myself a migraine from crying so much

I'm not keen on Facebook announcements. We'll tell friends and family, but leave others to guess whether we're having a baby or I'm just getting fat!

Scan this afternoon went well, there's definitely a baby in there, we heard the heart beat and the measurements were exactly the same as my dates. Feel very reassured and it was lovely to see DH beaming at the screen 12 week scan is on 30th Dec.

9+6

miss that sounds very unprofessional of him. At least you phoned to cancel the appointment. which is all you could do. It was hardly a foreseeable incident. Sorry they made you feel like that.

naty I'm suprised they are testing the fetal blood for rhesus status. I've not heard of that before, usually they would just offer the anti d if mother is negative. It isn't compulsory to have the jab so if you do know who the father is and their blood type is negative you can decline it. They will test babies blood once they are born though to see if you need a second shot or not.

Things feel much more real now we have heard the heartbeat, I think we were still in shock before and didn't quite believe it!

congrats on the scan sherbet

misseskimo You are definitely right to make a complaint. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

Lovely scan pic sherbert

I'm not too sure if this is the correct place to post but thought I'd ask you all for a bit of advice! Bare with me please...

I'm originally from bham, got married and moved to london. London will be where we settle down/raise a family/ buy our first home(hopefully). For this reason when I found out I was pregnant I was registered at a london gp and my booking appointment is on the 22 december.

However I now have got a job offer which will last 9 months. January to September. I have already agreed to take it up as its essential for my career path. This job is in bham. We will be renting in bham for the duration of the job.

My dilemma is the ante natal appointments... Should I move them to bham? Is this possible? But I would want my child born in london hospital(dp has very sentimental attachment and I don't really have a preference either way) can you have your ante natal appointments in bham but then move back across upon me taking maternity leave and go and have the birth in london? Currently I was thinking of commuting back for my ante natal appointments...but the current nausea is making me rethink.....we also have a base in london which we continue to visit regularly so we haven't exactly left london. Just here for 9 months in the bham....

Apologies for the essay...and thanks if You got this far.... Any opinions?

Miss how awful of dr- if you cant make it you cant. Though that seems so far away to me with gp luckily 10min walk in village.

Maybe its the stage we are at i cried so much about scan appt i gave myself headache for hours - dehydration.

Could he not have assesed over phone if you needed to come in?
Or skyped?
I think telephone consults can be good (except when you are in no reception area miss call and gp never returns it)
Where you know whats wrong say MS and just want a prescription maybe i guess it depends on what they need to check like BP.

I could have done my own mw appt today - as in just picked up swab and done urine sample (as i did swab myself anyway). But a got a lot of other good info so worth seeing someone.

Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

They have the appts you booked one, theres one tomorrow free they cant complain how busy they are with all those patients with some free time. (Unless its booked in their lunchbreak or after theyve gone home)

miss just read your post that Dr sounds awful and so uncompassionate! Good on you for making a complaint... 10k patients what has that got to do with the fact you're unwell and need to be seen! Hope you have better luck tomorrow and a much nicer Dr

Lewany sounds like a long drive in labour? Or would you stay down from say 38 weeks?
I was sent home (for like 3 hrs) in labour.
No idea how easy it would be but it could create a mess - like fleur you could have appts at multiple hospitals.
If youve got the yellow book - theres lots of appts for DC1 like every4 weeks.
Then theres the antenatal classes mine were with gp surgery. (Not compulsory but you meet other parents)
I think 8 week booking
12 week scan
16 wk mw appt
So you could swap before 16w one. I would think some people change mind about delivery hospital. Perhaps like me bad scan experience.
DH told me you cant change hospital - what? Because its hard to park there. Surely my experience of labour/ pre care is most important

Yesnaty the plan was as soon as I start my maternity leave we'd move back to our london base. So there wouldn't be a long drive in labour hopefully!

Thanks for support ladies, not sure what I'll put in my complaint yet, will wait until I feel a little better hopefully later in the week so that the message is a bit more structured rather than crazy pregnant lady rant.

naty I do have a few surgeries which are only 5-10min drive away (nothing walkable) which is weird for me as my last 3 homes over 10yrs the Dr's we're literally on my doorstep (one was two doors down, one same road, another behind my house!) but the closer ones where I live have awful services, are only open m-f 9-5/6 and you can't get same day apts. Whereas my surgery is open 7am-10pm 7days a week, you can get bloods, microbiology and even minor xrays done there, they do overnight online consultations and telephone call backs from a dr within the hour (team of locums), and guarantee same day apt. If you call before about 3pm. They also have a walk-in sit & wait service ran by nurses if you can't get an appointment right away, a Midwifery unit, amongst other special clinics all within the same building, and have direct links to the hospital which is right next door, which on two occasions has come in handy when my usual Dr has rung the on-call and I've been told to go straight to a specific ward rather than a&e. So all in all, its usually fantastic. This is the only bad experience I've had from there, every other Dr I've spoken to or seen has been really good. Even the locums have all been great - bar this one!

Just hope the Dr tomorrow is OK as my usual isn't working tomorrow.

lewany sounds like a lot of stress to me? One thing I've read everywhere is not to make any big changes during pregnancy such as move house job as it can be very stressful and overwhelming, particularly in last trimester? But I appreciate you need to think of your career also. But surely this would only be for 6m as you'd leave for maternity end of June? Will your employer be ok with that? If it feels right then I'd say do it, probably best to get antenatal apts. In bham however the only other thing I'd be concerned about is that you wouldn't really know your mw and local team, so would you have two? Maybe ask your mw what they suggest is best? Congrats on the job though!