April 2015 thread 6: our Christmas puddings are half cooked, now bring on the glow!

[BrixtonBunny]

We were getting perilously close to being full up, hope no one minds!

Also, anyone read any good books re looking after baby in the first few weeks? I'm liking The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg, seems flexible yet suggests some structure, and I like how she focuses on the baby as an individual/ a person who should be talked to as much as possible whether or not they understand a word of what you're blathering on about!

What's wrong with liquorice?

Those preg with a second or subsequent DC and therefore not having a 25 wk appointment - when do we get whooping cough is it at 28 wk one? Or are we meant to organise through GP?

liquorice can apparently cause all sorts of things... depending on which web site you read... miscarriage, brain defects.. blahblah probably none of which is likely.

smogs I was told to get whooping cough vaccine at the docs, not via hospital. I'm assuming I can have it now, at 25 week check up but I guess I'll soon know. Either way I need to see him for blood pressure etc check and to get my forms to give to work re mat leave.

I was told whooping cough vaccine was at 28 weeks, I think. Around the same time as my diabetes test will be.

I think it depends on how its used LindaLove, there are many mums who shove a dummy in to shut a baby up without actually bothering to interact with that baby or find out what wrong. I did feel guilty at times that we didn't give ds2 a dummy as he was a very sucky baby but dh was totally against it. He rarely comfort fed though and once we started giving him a muslin square he started just sucking on his mouth with the mussy next to it.

Personally I like your baby week by week, gave rough ideas of what the baby should be doing without being rigid, eg sleeping x-y hours, x-y no. of hours sleep and x number of nappies. Also gave tips on developmental changes that usually happen at each age and thigs that happen with you as well.

I have to make an appointment with the nurse for my whooping cough jab if I want it. I will probably try and get it to coincide with my 28 week bloods so I only have to once as I have to the hospital at 28 weeks for antiD too.

I have no idea which way round I'm supposed to do the wc. I guess I'll make an appointment when I go at 24w.

Re dummies: DD was a funny little thing. Wouldn't do fake nipples of any kind so no dummies or bottles. She was almost 18months before she got attached to a soft toy. (Pink bunny) which she can take or leave. She's just quite happy to plod along by herself. I did bf on demand so maybe she just didn't feel the need and we snuggled her to sleep for quite a long time. (She was over 12months) But she did break away from that quite easily when we tried crying it out. Both my nieces have blankets that they lug around. (Not even small blankets, massive ones that drag on the floor) the eldest has only just got rid of her dummy (aged almost 4) the youngest still sucks her thumb. (Aged 3) they won't sleep without those silly blankets and demand them if they are tired. I'm so glad DD didn't want anything like that. One less habit to break and one less item to forget or lose.

I'll certainly get a dummy or 2 as emergency like I did last time but won't be annoyed if it takes with this one. Just try not to let it become a prop for comfort and try to introduce self soothing instead.

Ah okay cinnamon. So I guess that's why mums worry about being seen to use a dummy in case they are judged as a 'shutter-upperer' rather than a 'soother'! .... good god, this parenting stuff is covered with judgement isn't it! I'm finding that its best to limit how many people to discuss things with as a result TBH, or you get too many points of view and it starts to nudge towards 'overwhelming'. And I'm only reading things that come with a reputation/reviews that I think suits my world view! The BF stuff seems to be a political nightmare.

I was given your baby week by week, not started to read that yet but will check it out. It is useful to have a 'steer' about things like how many feeds, how often etc if nothing else just to make sure you & other half are on the same page.

Ebwy, I was drinking the very nice peppermint and liquorice tea by pukka but something in my head made me consult google to check it was safe. Was gutted when I read it was possibly unsafe as it was delicious! It's the liquorice root which isn't good, not sure how much of that is in the confectionary form?

Linda I used the Baby Whisperer book, very helpful and there is a great online forum which is especially good for sleep issues (I know we all like a forum!)

Would also highly recommend the a Wonder Weeks book. Apparently there are 10 fussy periods in the first 18 months of life which coincide with developmental leaps. Whenever DD started going through a rough sleep patch/gone off her milk/grumpy/generally fussy I would check the book (or their app) and 90% of the time she was going through one if these phases. It's good as it gives a reason as to why they're being grumpy and how you can help them through it

My DS1 needed a dummy as he wanted to suck all the time. At nearly 12 he still chews pens, collars etc. so I can see why a dummy was so essential for him. My DS2 wasn't one bit interested in a dummy. My DS3 had one for a while as he would have stayed on the breast 24/7 otherwise but we ditched it about 12 months when he started waking up at night wanting it. So I'll have a couple of dummies available for this baby to see whether he would benefit from it or not. I sucked my thumb until I was 11 so I would rather my kids had a dummy that I can take away on my terms when they don't need it any more to satisfy that urge to suck.

Don't they make a stop and grow type paint for thumb suckers. Worst taste ever in my opinion. I was a finger sucker my mum used it on me as my finger never had any nail on it.

I think it's nice to feel 'normal' LindaLove, it helped me a lot with ds1 as I over analysed everything. I had a diary for everything he did and tried to figure out why he was doing everything. The book helped me feel he was doing what he should be! And yes, mums are judged more than anyone else in my experience. Sometimes you just have to smile and nod and do what the hell you like!! My mum refused to help me when I had a screaming, spewing baby who wouldn't sleep more than 20mins at a stretch during the day and so in my mind she lost the right to comment later on. I felt at ease with him eventually but he was a tough baby and I was struggling. Luckily I had a super supportive Dh who had done it all before :) and he was sole carer for dss. His mum went back to work when he was 4 months and Dh get him ready, fed him, packed his bags, took him and picked him up from childminder, played with him and put him to bed so was much more experienced than me. He still says now 'I've changed more nappies than you' which clearly isn't true as I was the dominant carer for our two plus probably 10+ mindees who I've had in nappies!

Scan today went fine, we have a very active little boy! So now never going to settle on our favourite girl's name, oh well. When it came time for the photos he flipped himself face down and buried his face, so we have lots of pics of the back of his head before he righted himself again and we got a decent shot. Wriggly little bugger, I had to lie on my side at one point to try to tip him over so they cold see what they needed.

The NHS website says liquorice is fine, I'm going entirely by that site as there are so many bonkers American ones out there which say totally random and silly things.

Books-wise the Mumsnet Guide to Babies is very good, as is their pregnancy one.

I think I am waddling a bit, trying not to but I seem to have grown quite a bit in the last couple of weeks and I'm feeling it!

20 + 5

are we not ewby O.o crap... I've been eating loads of it... but it's the Lakeland fruit stuff so maybe there's not much real liquorice in it...

smog 28 to 32 weeks with the midwife for whopping cough.

We bought DD all manner of teddies, tonnes of lamaze stuff but she only really got attached to a bunny that my gran got her for easter, she bloody loves the thing and is distraught if we leave the house without it >.> I looked into getting her a spare but could only find one on eBay that was being sold for what I expect to be at least three times what my gran paid for it, Going to buy one of those teddy ID tags for it in case it goes missing! She was never into dummies, doesn't matter how much you suck you can't get milk or better more bloody pear juice out of it.

Anyone else read about teaching your baby to sign? I'm going to give it a go so that hopefully as she gets older I'll be able to understand what she wants more. I think you start with a few simple signs for eat, milk, tired that sort of thing and slowly build on them as the baby gets bigger.

So say at 6 months they should start signing back. It will be super handy!

Congratulations Catsofa!!

I have several friends who've done it successfully Sairie, if you can get your oh and anyone who's caringo r your baby on board with it too then it works really well. I've heard people say that it stops them talking but the two children I know who have signed a lot with all their families spoke early and well too.

siarie we tried a bit, but weren't great at putting it into practice, DD had developed a lot of her own signs and noises for stuff though, I'm going to try and get some posters to put up in the living room so we've got visual cues to encourage us all to use the signs for bump. My only issue is I don't know how much of us understanding her signs is encouraging her to not bother talking...

I've never thought baby with dummy=bad mum, is that a thing that people think?
I think I'd rather use a dummy that I can take away than have really bad teeth from thumb sucking.
I guess baby decides if it wants one or not as some just don't take to it like other people above have said.

Personally I don't think kids should be going to nursery school with dummies because at 3-4 years old it can't be good for developing speech??but each to their own.

hiding I don't think it indicates a bad mummy, but there's something that makes me quite uncomfortable about 3 and 4 years olds running round with dummies in their mouths because they look like overgrown babies, I'm sure it's just some sort of psychological thing, but I want to take the dummy out and replace it with a lolly pop or something, which in the grand scheme of things is far worse for them!

Siarie, I did a baby signalong with my daughter (free six week course set up by the local adult community college) and we loved it. I've kept up with the signs we learnt and have signed up to do baby sing and sign in January, seeing as she is now too old for her baby sensory lessons. I'm really looking forward to it! The only sign she will do back to me is "where", but I'm convinced it has helped her language development, she understands loads now and we're getting really good at communicating with each other. She's only 13 months so I think she's doing really well. (proud mummy not so stealth like boast)

Re dummy, I didn't give one at first because I was bf on demand and I wanted to know when she was hungry. Then I had lots of trouble settling her in her moses basket and tried and tried to give her a dummy, she just wasn't interested. Spent ages trying to give a bottle too, but she just wanted the real thing, I think.

She hasn't got attached to any kind of toy or blanket yet; if she's upset she wants her mummy, otherwise she's perfectly happy to plod along and play with any old thing. She is quite clingy though, partly why I'm so looking forward to my Christmas sling, so I can be there for both the new baby and DD.

Sorry if I've missed anything important, I was trying to read this thread last night, but I was just so tired. xxx

Siarie I went to some baby signing classes but it was probably a bit late, DD was 8 months by the time we started (I think?) and was already more into trying to talk. Also you have to do it loads at home and I never remembered and she never looked at my hands anyway!

Linda Your baby week by week is definitely one of the better books IMO, it's very non judgmental and non dictatorial and gives you a very broad idea of what is normal (for example it says "try to get baby to have 3 hours of total naps in the day" rather than "at 9am your baby will now sleep for 1.5 hours" which is unrealistic...)

Baby whisperer is ok, it's basically all to do with avoiding feeding to sleep which is sensible as that can lead to nighttime sleep issues esp at 4 months. But the timings it suggests won't work if your baby will only sleep for 30 or 45 mins at a time, like my DD and lots of other babies out there.

cat congratulations on your scan and your little boy!

Comforters/special toys: my top tip is to BUY TWO (at least) and ideally ones which are washable. DD got attached to a sheep toy my gran bought in a random shop in Wales... we spent ages trying to track down a duplicate as it was covered in snot and yuk and was non washable - and it had no logo or label to identify it! (in the end Amazon had it, thank god).

Mm, dummies and speech is my worry, but I have friends that use them just for sleeping and it's not allowed in between. That seems to work fairly well.

We signed a little with dd. It was handy that she could tell me when she was hungry and she loved using the signs for animals in the books... But I don't think it has slowed her speech.

That seemed an abrupt end to my post! I mean I don't think it has affected her speech - at19 months she has about 300 words at least and is very rarely quiet!!!

Actually daholster signing is supposed to improve language development, not the reverse! So maybe you got the benefit after all