Feb 2015 - Creeping closer towards the third trimester!

[hanflan]

STATS

Ok so this is probably the longest post in history - sorry.

Frenetic Right so this is the NICE guidance found here: www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg132 , if you download from that page it gives you the full in-depth guidelines that medical professionals have to use and is easier to print than off the website. Then if you click on the "Information for the Public" tab and click the download button again it should download a smaller PDF with the guidance for the public.

Your Choices on Care
On page 2 of the Public Information one it says: "In the NHS, patients and healthcare professionals have rights and responsibilities as set out in
the NHS Constitution (www.dh.gov.uk/en/DH_132961). All NICE guidance is written to reflect these. You should be offered evidence-based information and support to enable you to make informed decisions about your treatment and care. Your choices are important and healthcare professionals should support these wherever possible. You should be treated with dignity and respect. "

On page 5 of the main guidelines, it says: "Treatment and care should take into account women's needs and preferences. Pregnant women
should be offered evidence-based information and support to enable them to make informed decisions about their care and treatment. "

I don't believe they have done either of the above.

On Requesting a CS
Note that although your reasons for requesting a CS are due to medical conditions, it does not count as a medical reason for doing so, as non of them are on the list of reasons to be offered/given one automatically.

On page 5 of the Public Information one it says: "Your doctor or midwife should explore and discuss your reasons with you and make a note of this
discussion.

If your request is not for medical reasons, your doctor or midwife should explain the overall risks and benefits of caesarean section compared with vaginal birth. You should also be able to talk to other members of your healthcare team, such as the obstetrician or anaesthetist, to make sure you have accurate information."

Followed by "If, after discussion and support, you still feel that you do not want a vaginal birth, you should be offered a caesarean section.

If your obstetrician is unwilling to carry out a caesarean section, they should refer you to another obstetrician who will carry out the caesarean section." on page 6.

In the general guidance one, on page 15, it says: "1.2.9.1 When a woman requests a CS explore, discuss and record the specific reasons for the request. [new 2011]

1.2.9.2 If a woman requests a CS when there is no other indication, discuss the overall risks and benefits of CS compared with vaginal birth and record that this discussion has taken place (see box A). Include a discussion with other members of the obstetric team (including the obstetrician, midwife and anaesthetist) if necessary to explore the reasons for the request, and ensure the woman has accurate information. [new 2011]"

Followed by (on page 16) "1.2.9.5 For women requesting a CS, if after discussion and offer of support (including perinatal mental health support for women with anxiety about childbirth), a vaginal birth is still not an acceptable option, offer a planned CS. [new 2011]

1.2.9.6 An obstetrician unwilling to perform a CS should refer the woman to an obstetrician who will carry out the CS. [new 2011]"

I printed both and had them at the ready but didn't need them, as my consultant followed them, despite it being clear that he didn't like women to have them for any reason but serious threat to life of mother or baby.

Just remember that whilst what NICE says should happen is not legally binding it sets out the standard of best practice. Any hospital not complying with these best practice guidelines needs to be able to clearly show how else they will fully meet your physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing. Their statistics should never, ever form part of a decision into what is the best and most appropriate care for you as an individual - you are not a statistic and shouldn't be treated like one.

Jen I hope you and LO are OK.

Blank we have lots of things but this is our second, so we already had most of it. We've bought things we needed to replace though like cotbed mattress and got a few pink things, as this one is a girl.

For us preparing has mainly been things like moving DS down to a new bedroom on the middle floor (and buying him a car bed and new car themed furniture to make it exciting), so that he doesn't associate baby coming along with being kicked out of his room (probably just as well weve done it now, he was upset enough that his old room has got stuff being stored in it, so I think having 3 months until baby comes and a total of 9 months until new baby goes in his old room is for the best).

Bang I hope you and your DD have fun at the frozen party.

The lack of sleep from the pain of SPD is killing me. Only about 10 weeks to go to ELCS - I keep trying to tell myself its not that long but it feels like an eternity in this pain and with this little sleep (I got more sleep than this with a Velcro newborn last time). Plus my breech baby keeps pushing her bum on my bladder (she even did it in my growth scan last Tues and sonographer commented on it). I cant believe how much harder this pregnancy is!

Hi all!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

blank if I saw your post about 2 hours ago then I would have said we haven't bought anything! But went to mamas and papas to buy the furniture as they had extra 15% off and ended up buying the maxi cosy car seat with the fixed base (price matched plus 15% off) AND bugaboo pram also with 15% off! you can see I'm over the moon even though it's the grandparents paying...more spending money for the baby. Bugaboo doesn't really do discounts so really chuffed.

jen have they called you to go back to the hospital?

WhyOWhy - Thank you so, so much. This is incredibly helpful. I'll be going through everything I have on Tuesday morning before my consultation, having this is extremely useful. I feel a lot more armed for this one, even though I did go to my first appointment with research! I think I just got unlucky. As usual!

jen - Hope you're ok hun, fingers crossed you're sorted soon.

Having a bit of a rubbish weekend, after the events of Friday, I've had a couple of anxiety attacks, so I think my GP will definitely sign me straight off, I wouldn't have thought there'll be any problems there. My only worry at the moment is making sure work don't harass me; when I was signed off with sickness in my first trimester, I was nagged at least every other day about when I'd be back/how I was doing. I just want to draw a line under this whole hideous time and try to enjoy at least SOME of my pregnancy. Looking through the screenshots I have, I've had some really, REALLY, vile things said about me.

At least nobody can dispute my professional integrity.

frenetic block work numbers they are not allowed to contact you while on sick. my sis kept getting hounded so her gp wrote on her note as it is due to work related stress they should not contact her.

Frenetic just get signed off for next 3 weeks which will take you to the maternity...no need for your work to harass you every other day! Did you start any handover? Good luck!

Hello everyone!

I have just been catching up with the thread after ages-it has been months since I posted! I hope you are ok Jen and you don't have to stay in hospital for too long. Frenetic I seriously can't believe your work. I really hope you can get signed off. Has anyone heard from HerRoyal? I saw her post on another thread and my heart goes out to her. Completely devastating.

After the happiness of the negative toxo results, we were almost instantly bumped back to earth. As they were doing the amnio anyway, they did all the other general chromosome testing and it turned out that baby had an issue. It's balanced so in itself it isn't a problem (I have it too we have discovered) but there was a chance that it could have caused a syndrome so we had several weeks of more testing and more waiting and more worrying. I did get pretty disheartened at this point and went into a bit of a decline but finally we got the results back and happily all is good with bump! The last few weeks I have finally been enjoying pregnancy (though obviously still with all the usual moans about being uncomfortable, not being able to sleep etc!). They are still being cautious though; I think maybe because of the antibiotics I'm still taking, plus the US health insurance culture and from tomorrow I will be scanned every other week. Looking forward to seeing bump again and also intrigued about its position. After being resolutely head down literally from the beginning, I had horrible cramps on Thurs and Friday, baby moved a lot and I think is now transverse! I know there is still time to move again but I was really hoping for a drama free 3rd trimester!

Blank we haven't really bought anything yet. I have some clothes and I think we know what crib etc we are going to get but we haven't actually bought much at all. We don't have much space and will be in a 1 bed flat until May so we only really want the essentials for now. I am very tempted by the new Uppababy Vista which is coming out some time in December so am waiting to see it in person before making the final decision about prams. I am probably going to regret not taking more advantage of the Black Friday sales but I just couldn't face them! It sounds like it's really catching on in the UK now too?

I am just about to book our birthing and baby care classes. They are so expensive over here and it'll be done over just 2 classes so probably won't even have the friend making benefits of the NCT. Still they are definitely essential! I have changed one nappy in my entire life and that was my very compliant one year old Goddaughter who basically told me what to do!! Does 32 weeks sound like an ok time to do the class or would you wait a bit longer?

Are any of you ladies having a baby shower? I'm fairly opposed to them but two friends have already offered to organise one and part of me is thinking 'when in Rome...' The alternative is to just have a general party for everyone in January when everyone has the post Christmas blues as a bit of a pre-baby get together.

Sorry for the enormous post and many questions-that'll teach me not to come on for months

Scummy what a stressful time you have had! I had never ever changed a nappy, give a bottle or winded a baby! I cried in hospital at how small he was and thought I would break his little legs, they showed me how to wind and nappy change. By the end of week one with between 50-70 nappies under my belt I was a pro so don't worry too much about not having done stuff. I never did grasp how to do up a baby grow and we changed to baby pjs from week one as sleepy and shattered I had no hope of doing up a baby grow so just whipped off the bottoms

Baby is really stretching out today feels like he is trying to burrow out of my fanjo or bottom, dh said I seem to have popped overnight even more.
Got my consultant in Sheffied tomorrow we have to leave before 7am to get there then a quick whip around Meadowhall then drive home for doctors at 4

Scummy :) lovely to hear from you and glad all is finally well

Am now feeling extremely sorry for myself- back is on the verge of giving up the ghost entirely, and am walking around looking basically like ive pooed myself. Lovely oh has offered to give me a massage but im currently sat bolt upright on the sofa trying not to cry. Which ive already done twice today. The shame!! Bloody hormones

Sorry to hear what a lousy time some of you are still having. I am getting some pelvic pain and I have a worrying numb area on my left thigh that has lasted a few weeks now ( anyone else have this), but I'm managing to get through. Dreading going into London tomorrow though as last time I was in agony by the afternoon.

Went to Winchester Xmas market today with DH and PIL and pigged out on hot chocolate and cream and churros (Spanish do'nuts). Mmmm.

I have only commented on here a couple of times but not for ages.

I just feel like a need a little moan. For some reason from 3 o clock in the afternoon everyday I start getting bad acid reflux and the only thing that helps is milk and all I can picture is how big is am going to get if I keep drinking it and my dp is losing loads of weight as I become the size of a whale!

and about 2 hours ago the baby decided to move and now I am in agony, my neck and back are killing me and I feel sick.

sorry for the boring post and I know most are suffering more but feeling very sorry for myself right now.

DH has just told me that while we were out with his parents and I was getting something at a stall, his mum asked him if he was looking forward to being a father. He thinks this is an incredibly bizarre and odd thing to say and is slightly offended wondering what vibes he is or isn't giving off? We have both been nothing but enthusiastic and they know we were trying to get pregnant! I now have a slightly aggrieved and hacked off DH.

grinning I love churros ...and now I want some . I wouldn't read to much to the question she was probably just genuinely interested. If it's your first one it's going to be a big change. We're scared but excited at the same time. Our friends told us few weeks back that they were pregnant, seems like they are 'forgetting' to tell people and hiding it (it's not like they not telling others), saying nothing will change and that she doesn't even know she's pregnant.

Hi all

Hope you're ok Jen?!

I'm nearly there with baby bits just some little things to get but I will wait to see what I get at my baby shower hehe

I read that the baby puts on 1/2 pound each week from now on (30 weeks) is that true?! OMG! I don't feel there is much room in me at the mo am starting to feel some distinctive body parts from baby now rather than just movements ... How can it expand much more? Ahhhh

Thank you everyone for being so lovely. is nice to have somewhere to have a little moan where ppl understand
Thankfully saw a lovely midwife and doctor today who let me come home. I have to go in tomorrow to see specialist I think and for more tests, but so I don't drop to the bottom of the list I am still classed as an inpatient 'on leave' rather than have been discharged.
So, still waiting for answers, but home, and baby still active and has good vitals (they aren't worried about heartbeat now-phew!)

Hope everyone else is okay - 3rd trimester is bloody hard anyway!

Sorry everyone seems to feel so crappy at min, ive had day in York with mil and sis in law - mil drove me crazy - she worries a lot!!! She's 75 - was a 40 year old when had dh - she asked me if I was ok standing in queue in cafe Nero!!

Have ordered my changing bag tonight - little bit excited about it as really splashed out on it - we ordered another changing bag to match pushchair for dh to use so this is my little luxury

Hope everyone has a better week!!

Grinning It seems like a question a lot of men get asked, when I had ds, dh said he felt unconnected until he was here, this time he is more involved rubbing belly and talking to bump. But I have a friend who is having his second soon and after being with his wife for many years he said he is in no way prepared or ready for this baby which shocked me but he said 'it is normal for a man to feel like that' but if it annoyed him maybe he could ask his mum in what way she meant it? Maybe she just though there aren't many things you can ask the dad so tried to involve him but it came out wrong?

Jen your hospital seen very on the ball which is reassuring.

Mini what bag did you go for? I was drooling over one in JL but at £250 I wouldn't dare take it out eventhough dh offered to treat me I said to buy me new underwear once my boobs return to normal instead. Ah bless your mil, weirdly I cannot stand in queues it makes me feel faint (the reason I had to lie down in a shop last week) and today in Costa dh said I looked grey in the queue so I had to go and sit down.

Grinning, I went to Winchester Xmas market and are churros today!
I'm now at work absolutely shattered and don't finish until 3.30 tomorrow.
Baby is wriggling away, which I love but DP is freaked out by it, was the same with DD!
Hope everyone has a better week. I am full of cold and miserable!!

Trukevoli welcome back....there are worse things than milk you could be eating or drinking right now so try not to worry your body is growing a baby, there is a heartburn tablet though from docs which is a one a day tablet if you are really suffering.

Little I was told a pound a week for last 4 weeks my bump is so tight dh said my outie belly button looks set to split!

I carried a massive amazon box earlier and scratched my bump, it really bled! My bump also keeps going very red, he commented earlier. Seeing my consultsnt tomorrow (my regular one who looks after me not baby related) I hope he has weight behind my decision for an induction because he has my future interests in mindhereas I feel that all the maternity people dont give a crap about my welfare I am just an incubator for the baby in their eyes.

Done ds's xmas wrapping tonight so now I need to find a home for them until xmas, the baby room is full of presents I have no idea where to put them all!

Small world [long]. Did you have to queue as long for the loos as I did? I saw several pregnant ladies so maybe one was you!

DH is pretty involved and is very happy talking to bump, but I guess his mum may not know this as it's not the kind of thing they'd talk about. We are both the last of our families to spawn so we are both very realistic over how our lives will change. I think it was just a bit out of the blue and wasn't something he was expecting to get asked by his mum who only lives 25 mins away and is also pretty involved especially since my mum isn't around.

Memphis - I ordered the storksak Elizabeth from JL - it was £200!!! Excuse is - its my bday soon so part bday present part baby present - which I think is fair lol

mini it was Sofia I like lovely bag but I would be scared it would be nicked so opted against they are gorgeous though

Bloody long que, grinning! I would have been the pregnant lady with a beautiful 6 year old girl with her hands up my top warming her hands on my bump!! Also with a fussing mil who thinks I should be in bed cooking baby for the next 12 weeks!!

Feeling like now I know I am having early induction I need to organise the things we haven't sorted, especially as I seem to be getting frequent flyer miles from the hospital!
Car seat and base ordered, pram has been delivered, so the list is definitely much shorter now.
Am just wondering if I will need more smaller baby clothes...haven't bought much at all yet, especially in newborn. I think as it is my first, I was expecting to go overdue and have a 9lb+ baby! Think at 37 weeks baby is more likely to be around 6, maybe 6 and a half (I am totally guessing based on vague advice!!! )

Long that really made me laugh cooking a baby for next 12 weeks

Jen I expected a bruiser, ds was 6pound 14 and newborn buried him and he fit in them for about 10 weeks, I also bought some small baby packs of baby grows from Asda as they were cheaper. For first week he had the tiny early baby nappies too as normal ones leaked as he had a tiny bum...he was full term too but its worth thinking of about one or 2 packs of smaller baby grows defo get newborn too.

Up early resdy for hospital, dh has been up with a temp most of the night and is an early riser so he is all springy and i have just had to request him to stop talking to me for an hour