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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

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Original poster

Had a miscarriage and due in April 2015? shall we try not to scare the other ones?

976 replies

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 16:15

Hello

Having had 5 mcs and 1 DD I am not feeling very hopeful (juest realistic) even though I am doing different things than before...

4w today and on cyclogest pessaries since CD21...

Maybe we could have a separate thread to the biiiig one so we don't scare the others with our (my) negativity...

Welcome

TinyTear, 40, 1 DD, 5mcs, due in April but don't want to know the exact day...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LIG1979 · 29/09/2014 15:13

Stuntman - how are things with dh? Has he come round to it? About this pregnancy being better my friend said that she heard that people respond to pregnancies hormones differently so maybe this one is a girl? I always thought people were sicker with girls but she was sicker with a boy which produces more testosterone.

Smiling- glad you are feeling better. Dh said that I felt unwell from doing too much. It is just tough when I feel better to not do too much as I have done too little for weeks. So how do you feel after a sucessful scan after your last mc? Are you starting to relax a bit now?

Tiny - am impressed at how far your dd can walk. 2.8 miles would take my dd about a day and she would probably cover about 5 by walking in a random fashion. Hoping she will be able to walk further soon. She is 2.2.Â

Shetland - I have been eating through my nausea pretty well. If I do very little and eat loads I feel much better but it does mean that I have a sizeable bump. Last pregnancy once the nausea went my diet got better and so did my weight gain.

I just had a play date from hell. Dd and her 'friend' were fighting over all the toys and the little girl kept screaming with a really high pitched scream.Â Was happy when they went home. Made me wonder why I want 2 dcs! Luckily dd is now having a long nap so I can eat cookies and lay in front of the TV.Â

Original poster

TinyTear · 29/09/2014 15:27

well, I did have her on my shoulders for a little bit (really steep bit by highgate cemetery) but she did walk a lot... and weaved and started walking backwards and sideways like a crab... sigh

We did have a cake break to give her a sugar rush

Ah yes lig some days i do wonder if I really want two when she is in full twonager mode... but then she does something cute...

4 days to my scan...

Nausea abating a bit but boobs still damn sore (if only DD would wean)

OP posts:

Shetland · 29/09/2014 16:55

I've heard that theory about sickness LIG and was convinced DD2 was a boy because of it - obviously I was wrong!

I have an exam tomorrow, the thought of which is making me feel sicker than normal - not least because I can't afford to fail it as I'll hopefully be on mat leave when the re-sits happen - eeek.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 29/09/2014 20:37

lig im starting to relax I even told my eldest charge that im going to have a baby today which surprised me as I had planned on keeping quiet for longer it just seemed like the right time.

Hope your dh is coming round to the idea of a new baby stuntman

lila35 · 30/09/2014 08:12

Today is a good day! I slept for 10 hours!! We should absolutely celebrate the little things

Original poster

TinyTear · 30/09/2014 09:10

yes! enjoy the sleep!

I told my boss' boss today... 3 days till scan

OP posts:

LIG1979 · 30/09/2014 09:30

I only woke up once in the night!

Another with 3 days till 12 week scan. It is starting to dominate my thoughts now....stupidly got a web conference for the morning when I know I won't be able to concentrate on work.

Original poster

TinyTear · 30/09/2014 09:44

I have the start of financial year kick off day so will be a bit distracted rather than just sitting at my desk

OP posts:

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 30/09/2014 11:34

Im so jealous of you all getting sleep, I had an awful nights sleep and am exhausted today.

Original poster

TinyTear · 30/09/2014 11:39

Talk to me on Friday! Doubt I will get any sleep thursday night!

OP posts:

LIG1979 · 30/09/2014 11:40

Can I have a rant. Just been in a meeting and one of the guys just said I heard you were pregnant and another lady said I had heard that too. So far only my boss and the girl who has had recurrent mcs and fertility issues know and both these people get on well with her so I know it is her who blabbed. I don't want to blast her as I know with dd, her due date from her 1st mc was similar to dd's and she finds other peoples pregnancies very tough and is often in tears, but her of all people should be more sensitive. I told her when she asked (after sickness) if I was pg more out of respect so she knew before it was common knowledge but now I feel quite annoyed.

Original poster

TinyTear · 30/09/2014 11:47

Ahrgh, I hate blabbers!!

I would probably confront her but that is me and my raging ball of hormones...

OP posts:

LondonSuperTrooper · 30/09/2014 12:57

LIG I'd confront her too...... I hope that this doesn't cause problems for you at work.

Tiny why did you tell your boss your news? I was to keep mine quiet until I pass my 6 month probation (due end of December) but there is no chance of that..... I'm massive already!

I'm also jealous of those who get a good night sleep. I'm lucky if I get 3hrs of unbroken sleep.

Shetland · 30/09/2014 12:59

I'd confront her too LIG
What did you say to them?

Original poster

TinyTear · 30/09/2014 13:04

London my boss has known since BFP as i knew i was going to get extra scans and appointments.

The boss' boss i told today as on Friday I have to leave at 3h30 for my scan and it is a big day at work, so I wanted to let her know. She knows of the miscarriages so was ok when i said i am going to have extra scans and appointments.

I am lucky to have been in this job for 10 years so they know me well enough to know my past history...

OP posts:

Shetland · 30/09/2014 13:05

I've to my boss, but only because my scan us on a work day and I didn't have enough annual leave to just take the day off. I did tell her I had a dodgy history though so I wouldn't be telling anyone else just yet. I expect she'll tell other management but I'd be surprised if she said anything to anyone else.

OneDayLikeThis2013 · 30/09/2014 14:04

Hi all,

LIG I had the same scenario with my pregnancy that ended in mc. I work in a hospital and it was one of the female Drs on our team that blabbed. I went mad and a few weeks later we had the bad news and I don't mind telling you, I made her feel even worse about it. Especially as her partner had lost a baby last year and we were all so supportive of her. I'd definitely confront her too if I were you.

Chased it up again and FINALLY got the date for my scan, 8am on 13th Oct. So glad it's first thing in the morning.

LIG1979 · 30/09/2014 16:40

Unfortunately she is working from home this afternoon. She is incredibly sensitive to her fertility issues and did start crying when someone once mentioned their kid on a bad day. She does cry a lot at work though about all sorts of thongs. I am still a bit miffed to why she wouldn't keep it quiet when i explained it was early days and my history. But I need to confront her.

I have also told my boss but he only really chats to senior management and his direct reports. I told him because I felt so bad and because he is new and we don't have a previous history so didn't want him to think I was useless. He started when I was 5 days into my last cycle so only a few weeks before my bfp and my concentration plummeting.

CareBearWithFangs · 30/09/2014 18:21

LIG I'm annoyed on your behalf. People blabbering about pregnancy really gets to me. It's your news to give when you feel ready.

I had to tell my boss at work because I've been so ill. I don't think she's told anyone but she is so bloody unsubtle. She's asking me up to 20 times a day how I'm feeling. Saying things to me about being pregnant while there are people about etc. she also keeps gushing about it. Saying how excited I must be and how she thinks i'm having a boy. She knows exactly what we went through last time as she did when return to work afterwards and I sobbed for half an hour.

On a completely different note has anyone got any tips on how to cope with smells? My sickness is gradually getting better but smells are really setting me off. We're currently living at my mil's while we have building work done and she has two dogs and I'm sick whenever I come downstairs because of the smell

LittleBairn · 30/09/2014 20:18

I'm another one who's dealing with other people's blabbing.

My mum told the waitress when we went out for lunch, worse its a restaurant my DH and I frequent and she was going on about how she can't wait to see me getting bigger then coming in with the baby. Plus she's very ditzy so in a few months time if I'm not obviously pregnant she will mention it.

Then my boss told her DS (I'm a nanny, well was today was my last day) he knows I lost my first DC and he was devastated by it.
Plus everyone that knows keeps going on about 'excitement' and talking like its guaranteed this baby will be ok, they know my history!
I regret not doing the same as my second pregnancy and telling no one, but then everyone found out when I was hospitalised.

Maybe I'm just a hormonal killjoy.

LittleBairn · 30/09/2014 20:20

carebear I'm really struggling with smells too, even nice one they are so strong it makes me sick. I'm envious that my mum lost her sense of smell permantly when pregnant with my sister. I'm hoping I take after her!

Original poster

TinyTear · 01/10/2014 08:54

Countdown continues... 2 days to scan...

Oh the sense of smell thing is terrible... and i have a just potty trained toddler to deal with and some days just emptying the poo potties is just too much... bleurgh

Fortunately no blabbers for me, this time i didn't tell many people, just 2 friends in real life and then boss and boss' boss...

OP posts:

LIG1979 · 01/10/2014 13:07

Confronted her….she denied all knowledge of blabbing but still indicated that people were guessing. I think that people were speculating and she just confirmed it.

My MIL was bad with my last pg. She was really good up till 12 weeks then assumed that once I reached 12 weeks I wanted to tell the world. So this included a family get together to announce it and her telling everyone she met. I more wanted an approach of not hiding it after 12 weeks but I think I didn’t tell her that explicitly.

I have told quite a few people this time more on the fact that I tell those I would tell if I miscarried. Since we started ttc in January there are friends who know that and have asked how it is going so I have told them. Also, those friends have guess pretty quickly when I have been fat, unwell etc. recently. With my 1st mc we didn’t tell many people and then had to tell lots of people when I had a mc so thought there isn’t too much point in keeping it quiet. Told the boss at 7 weeks because I decided that if I miscarried after that I would need time off work so either outcome would result in him knowing at some point and I may as well explain my poor performance/attitude.

I am another one with smells. There has been a horrible smell in the fridge which I cannot budge. DH cannot smell it and I cannot get rid of it. In my last pregnancy, I had an employee who smelt. I felt so terrible every time she came to speak for me and spent the 1st trimester trying to avoid her.

Also, 2 days to go. I am really starting to get distracted by it now.

LondonSuperTrooper · 01/10/2014 13:08

Oooh Tiny good luck for Friday!!

I have my harmony scan tomorrow. I'm so not looking forward to the journey there and back... especially on public transport.

Original poster

TinyTear · 01/10/2014 13:13

London, they have poncy coffee machines and iced water in the waiting room, and magazines... and proper towels in the bathrooms... it's not the NHS...

I guess our £400 are going for something...

So take your time to relax and don't get there flustered...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow!

LIG what time is your scan on Friday?

OP posts:

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