Had a miscarriage and due in April 2015? shall we try not to scare the other ones?

[TinyTear]

Hello

Having had 5 mcs and 1 DD I am not feeling very hopeful (juest realistic) even though I am doing different things than before...

4w today and on cyclogest pessaries since CD21...

Maybe we could have a separate thread to the biiiig one so we don't scare the others with our (my) negativity...

Welcome

TinyTear, 40, 1 DD, 5mcs, due in April but don't want to know the exact day...

Hope your ok little. Unmumsnetty hugs and handholding. Have you called your midwife at all?

I've also had horrible cramps pains today and I feel so so panicked.

Hooray for good scans thought

Mines a week today. We'll see, I'm mostly trying not to think about it.

little - hope you are ok. could it be left over blood from the bleed last week? how many weeks are you? phone the epu and see if they will scan you. For what it is worth I have bled in all my pregnancies good and bad. Keeping everything crossed for you.

finally in my bed Seem to need to spend huge amounts of time in bed to try and get enough sleep. Got a couple of nights out coming up soon when I should be feeling better but not sure how I will manage to stay out to something respectable like 10pm.

Hope all is ok little
I think LIG might be on to something with the idea of it being left over blood.

I'm in bed too LIG - a little later than I'd planned, but not to bad. I'm away for the weekend next week and I'm not sure how I'm going to last through tbh, so I know what you mean.

Tiny not till the 7th. I've already had two with many more booked so they will want a lot more of a 'show' before they do another. Plus its a really busy unit.
Its the crampy feeling that worries me (plus i had the same sensation for a few days before i properly bleed) and even though they are 100% certain my cervix is strong and healthy I wonder if its related. My first transvaginal scan to check cervix isn't until 14 weeks.

This is a new hospital I'm with I'm a bit confused about their set up, all my midwife appointments are at the hospital too but they don't case load and basically if you need to speak to anyone you call EPU.

carebear I hope you cramping gets better. Hugs too you too.

Lig that's what I'm hoping, it was more of a clot so maybe it took a while to come down. I'm 10+4. I bleed lots (seriously I thought I might need a blood transplant at one point!) but DD was fine once checked.

Maybe I'm just over-reacting. Gosh I miss my breezy excited attitude of my first pregnancy full of naive optimism never thinking for a moment anything could go wrong.

I go to bed much earlier too between 9-10pm I used to be a night owl!

Thanks shetland it seems to have calmed down still a little achy.

Sorry to hear about your scare little, hope it settles down and you feel better today.

Great news in your scans Shetland and stuntman.

I had a great nights sleep last night, slept till nearly 8 but today, awake at 430 again!! That and 13 weeks today!!!

little hope you are ok this morning and feel a little bit more positive

One week until my FMC scan and Harmony results... will I be able to cope... dum dum dum... watch ths space...

Hope your feeling ok this morning little

lovely news on yesterdays scans

I cant sleep passed 4am and its driving me crazy, it means im exhausted by 3pm which is not great at work.

My doppler came yesterday and luckily we found beany babys heartbeat really easily (definitely wasnt mine) so that helped ease some of the anxiety, little I completely agree with you about missing the excitement of my first pregnancy, I had pains yesterday and worried myself sick even though I knew it was just wind

we are know passed where I miscarried so im hoping I can start to relax a little.

Carebear I'm also having a scan next week - I have my harmony test on Thursday.

Little I hope that you are OK.

Tiny best of luck & try not think about the scan /results..... and yes I know its easier said than done"

I was stumped this morning. My miscarriage consultant asked me how weeks I was pregnant and I couldn't answer her at all. Not all good news at my end. Apparently I'm on a high level of steroids and it might have affected the beanie. They asked me to prepare myself for cleft palate, growth retardation in beanie and gestational diabetes for me :(

Why is it different consultants have different opinions on my treatments?! One is asking me to wean myself off the steroids immediately whilst the other wants me to carry on till 12 weeks!

London, if it helps I know someone from my old birth group who had 2 children on steroids with Dr S and the children were perfect. No issues at all...

No one agrees with the blooming treatments. It's a battle of egos...

Thank you all for the concern I'm doing ok, still occasionally crampy and little bits of brown blood but I know there is little EPU can do for me. But come 14 weeks if there is a slight weakening of my cervix they might be more willing to stitch it up.

London I sometimes struggle with dates too, its a way to mentally protect myself. Plus in my experience they couldn't give a hoot about my dates only their own.

I understand the frustration with all the medics differing opinions I've had it too. In fact my previous main consultant had a fight with another who saw me. Basically the other consultant questioned why more wasn't being done for me then controversially tried to shut down DD kidneys and for a bit it worked if it had been done straight away she night have survived. It made me realise I had to find a new hospital that would be more pro active like him.

There is a chance if some tests cone back Postive I might be put onto steroids too, I had no idea it could effect the cleft palate.

smiling I've done the wind thing too, and forgotten I was constipated that why I was uncomfortable. Such a glamorous time, pregnancy.

Glad you are holiday on little. The constipation is horrible isn't it? It sounds pretty scary for you if they don't know what is wrong. Can they not put a stitch in just in case? Or are there other risks of this?

London conflicting advice is scary but I guess it is like most things in pregnancy they can't ever do proper medical trials on what is/isn't safe in pregnancy. I've asked a friend who has seen dr s and knows him pretty well if she knows anything about this. Like tiny said, two of my friends from my 1st mc have had multiple mc and have given birth to perfect little boys and one has a 2nd on the way so he seems to know what he is doing. I think forgetting how many weeks is a great strategy for getting through the difficult weeks. For me it is frustrating waking up and only being another day ahead.

I am another having trouble in the early hours. I tend to wake feeling quite sick in the early hours and have trouble getting back to sleep. I find it works best if I can take my tablets and then know that I have another couple of hours to sleep. It is when I wake up at 5 but have to get up at 6 that I am often awake for the day. Last pregnancy I didn't sleep well except for a brief period between 14 and 19 weeks when I slept like a baby.

Finally got a 12 week scan date after they lost the referral and my mw was on holiday. It is next Friday. Feel quite panicked that it is so soon! I also prefer early scans as I am useless before although this one I will probably be useless after too as I will need to start thinking about telling people. I have made a decision to stop trying to hide it after 12 weeks as I have such a noticeable bump already but at the same time I don't feel ready to tell people. Tried on some maternity clothes yesterday and look properly pregnant with a small bump in maternity clothes.

Lig you would think they could just put a stitch in the success rate is very high, but oh no NHS politics don't allow it. They say it could be damaging to my health if unnecessary and my body forcefully still goes into labour.
But I've never gone into labour naturally! And I almost died of infection because my cervix was open.
It doesn't help that I agreed to the cervical resistance test, the results show that mine is strong but I disagree with those findings in pregnancy my cervix seems to change.

There was suppose to be a whole load of other tests done but weren't in the end I've insisted on blood tests for clotting disorders. They haven't got back to me so I assume they are clear.

Little I have a friend who nearly lost her 2nd daughter due to cervical incompetence and had an emergency stitch at 18w with her and then went on bed rest

then she researched and researched and fought the NHS who apparently stated they needed one more case of incompetence before letting her have it (so she would have to go though another risky pregnancy or another miscarriage before they agreed) and she got a TAC (trans abdominal cerclage) put in place.

after that she has had her 3rd and her 4th children... all sunroof because of the TAC....

But she really fought her corner and managed to get it done. if you want I can ask her to send you a PM (she is on mumsnet as well) with details of hospitals and doctors...

Little - realised my post auto corrected. Meant to say holding on rather than holiday. The nhs can be very frustrating sometimes! (That said as someone who worked in the nhs and now works with hospitals round the world - the nhs is still probably the best in the world in terms of best clinical outcome per £ spent.)

Tiny that's really interesting.
Yes please have her PM, the abdominal stitch is what I was really hoping for.
I've faced much the same attitude I haven't lost enough babies, [anger] my DS was slightly different in waters broke first so they tried to claim he doesn't count! They didn't have much of a come back when I challenged them on the fact they had no proof of my dilation because during the whole 7 days I wasn't checked.

My DD was at 18 weeks when my trouble started if they had been pro active straight away (they didnt even give me any anti contraction drugs) the outcome could have been different. Eventually things did improve an a saviour stitch was about to be done but my waters broke and it was obvious DD was badly infected.
Then again my local authority has the worst neo natal death rates in the country so it stands to reason the also have a high pre natal deaths too. Hence why I'm now with a completely different authority.

I have just sent her an email. She was lucky to be in the US when had a bad feeling otherwise her 2nd daughter would have been born at 18 weeks too! They took care of her instantly...

The NHS is great and amazing, but sometimes can be infuriating...

little just found her old thread here on MN

She now has a different nickname so I am not 'outing' her or anything

Lots of details and her story here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/a1067367-Transabdominal-Cerclage-TAC

Tiny thank you so much. yes US is really good with the stitches I've been in contact with a few US mothers and they are always amazed at the way I've been treated. If I had been in the US chances are high I would have had a stitch with my DD.

So my DH has just text he said he had a call from my ex consultant, he will tell me what was said when he gets home. Interesting.

London I asked my friend about the pred and she had this reply:

She should be absolutely fine. They do say there is a tiny tiny risk of cleft palette but, for example, in all his years of treating pregnant people with steroids (i.e. thousands of people) he has not encountered this once. I am also pretty sure I was on a higher dosage than she was at 40mg a day, which might reassure her. I started tapering off that around 9 weeks and was off it completely by 13.

Little it must be very stressful. I did read once that the NHS approach is wait and see and that there are 4 options 1) you die, 2) you get better 3) you go private or 4) you still need treatment. 3/4 result in no cost to the NHS and the problem resolves itself. As an outsider, I can see the point that if there is a limited pot of money then spend it on the things that you know will have a benefit but it is so harsh for the people that get the bad deal of those options. I can see that investigating every mc is not cost effective when for most people it will be bad luck and couldn't have been prevented but for the people that have to go through before they do anything it is heart-breaking.

Should probably stop ranting. Had a tough day one of my team has been really bugging me and had to get angry with him. Hoping it is genuine rage rather than pregnancy moodiness. I was quite ruthless in my last pregnancy which isn't me at all although it did help my career!

DH is now back from his business trip for 11 days then he's away again for three weeks. We have a lunch date arranged so I'm going to tell him then. Any suggestions for how to break it to him gently? It's an unplanned pregnancy and we already have three children so it's going to be a bit of a shock whereas I've had a few weeks to get used to the idea. I honestly don't know whether he's going to be pleased or upset, or possibly both.

Hmm tricky... Had you ever talked about 4?
How old are your other 3?

We talked about having a fourth because there is a big age gap; ours are 11 years, 8 years, and 22 months. Number 3 was very difficult due to cows milk protein intolerance that wasn't diagnosed until 16 months. So DH wasn't keen on another after that experience but on the other hand he was the one that didn't wear a condom! Which makes me think he subconsciously wants another one. Financially I think we can manage as we already have most of the baby kit and bags and bags of baby clothes. We have a big enough house although two will have to share a room later on, and we already have a seven-seater car. It's really just the 'can we cope with a newborn again as well as the other children' question. Our oldest two both have special needs so it's pretty intense here at the best of times. It's a done deal now though, there's no getting out of it! I'm just fretting about the best way to break the news. I think he's going to be very shocked.

Urgh scan at 10:40, been awake since 4:30 with nerves.

Good luck on your lunch date stuntman