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Original poster

Had a miscarriage and due in April 2015? shall we try not to scare the other ones?

976 replies

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 16:15

Hello

Having had 5 mcs and 1 DD I am not feeling very hopeful (juest realistic) even though I am doing different things than before...

4w today and on cyclogest pessaries since CD21...

Maybe we could have a separate thread to the biiiig one so we don't scare the others with our (my) negativity...

Welcome

TinyTear, 40, 1 DD, 5mcs, due in April but don't want to know the exact day...

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Stuntman · 19/09/2014 14:49

Welcome Bairn. Lila I hope the scan went well this morning, I can't wait for an update.

I have convinced myself I'm actually going crazy worrying about losing this pregnancy. It was unplanned so if I did lose it we wouldn't be trying again so I feel like this is my only chance to have another baby. I had to come off my antidepressants cold turkey due to the pregnancy so the combined effect of pregnancy hormones, worrying and withdrawal are wreaking hell. At least I have you guys to talk to. Anyone irl tends to be somewhat more dismissive because they're trying to be reassuring. But I suppose a previous MC makes you assume it's going to happen again. I had an MMC which was tough because there were no signs anything was wrong until I went for my 12-week scan.

lila35 · 19/09/2014 16:08

Phew!!! We have a wriggly little baby!!!! She found it really quickly to, its such a relief!!! Everything looks good and now we just have to wait for the test results. She's moved me back a day so my official due date is 2nd April!

I still can't believe it!

lila35 · 19/09/2014 16:10

I feel thew same stuntman, I'm hoping I can relax a little bit now and maybe enjoy this experience a little now, although don't think I am going to feel like I am out of the woods until the next scan or even beyond!!

CareBearWithFangs · 19/09/2014 16:23

I know what you mean stuntman. I also came off anti depressants when I found out I was pregnant and I don't know if it's that making me feel worse or if I'd have been this worries anyway.

Hooray for a good scan lila!

Shetland · 19/09/2014 16:35

Fab lila congratulations :)

LondonSuperTrooper · 19/09/2014 18:54

Shetland, CareBear & Littlebairn thanks for your suggestions for dealing with insomnia. I welcome all options!

Tiny I daren't tell my new employer that I'm pregnant. I've only been there for 11 weeks! We resigned ourselves to not conceiving and the intention was to go for IVF after I pass my probation period. I work in a male dominated industry and am already dreading the comments that I'll get :(

Lila fabulous news! It must be lovely to have a good scan and see your beanie. The worrying will never end, especially if you've miscarried before. But hopefully you can sleep a little better knowing that your beanie has made it to 12 weeks :)

Original poster
TinyTear · 19/09/2014 20:02

Hooray great news

OP posts:
Original poster
TinyTear · 19/09/2014 20:04

London, funny enough in my job the male boss, my line manager, is lovely. It's the female director who has 3 kids and is a bit tougher as she just works works works as her husband is home...

OP posts:
LIG1979 · 19/09/2014 21:06

Lila - well done on the good scan. The only sleep advice I have is going to bed early so that you can get a good quota of hours in even if you wake in the night. I think I store up the vast quantities of water I drink during the day and then let it out at regular intervals overnight. I also snack and take my nausea drugs around 5am so that I can get up in the morning.

London. Like tiny said, I told work more so that I had an excuse for being so rubbish. But tough if you are on probation. I know another one of Dr S patients and she starting feeling sick into the 2nd trimester once she stopped taking the steroids.

Welcome littlebairn -sounds like you have had a tough time and scary that they haven't found out what was wrong. Fingers crossed this time will work out.

Shetland -very jealous of the lack of weight gain. I am huge and already look quite pg in my maternity clothes. I am not sure how I will hide it when I get home and still only 10 weeks.

I think I am over the worst of the nausea now which is good. Also, been able to start eating a bit more normally now and can face vegetables again. Hoping the weight gain will stabilise soon if I stop pigging out on ice cream.

Interesting about the noises - dd sounded like a galloping horse. This one I have only heard the heartbeat once during a scan and wasn't really paying attention. Once I see a heartbeat I sort of go into my own little world for the rest of a scan. I have always had a thought that maybe I cannot have boys. On my mum's side of the family there are lots of girls but very few men born to that side of the family. I was fairly sure that my 1st mc was a boy and the 2nd was too early to think that way. I guess only time will tell.....

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/09/2014 15:03

Glad your scan went well lila

I went shopping yesterday and bought a couple of baby bits, im now worrying that ive jinxed things Confused

Shetland · 20/09/2014 15:25

It's hard isn't it smiling ? I've seen a couple of bits I'd like but I just can't bring myself to do it.

LondonSuperTrooper · 20/09/2014 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/09/2014 16:04

Im trying to be positive so buying a few things here and there, it feels really exciting in the shop then I get home and start to panic.

im about to order a doppler in the hope hearing the babies heartbeat will reassure me and keep me calm.

my counsellor has been on holiday for 2 weeks so thats not helping.

Original poster
TinyTear · 20/09/2014 16:34

I might buy later in the pregnancy. Fortunately have most from my DD so main thing I want is an ergo... And a new car seat.

London, are you OK?

OP posts:
LondonSuperTrooper · 20/09/2014 17:43

Tiny yes I'm ok, thanks for asking. I requested my last post to be removed because it contained some info & I didn't want to panic anyone!

Shetland I'm exactly like you. Very reluctant to purchase anything. With my DS my mother didn't let me buy anything until I was about 30 weeks! If I make it this far in this pregnancy, then I'd imagine I'd do the same again.

Smiling I'd like to buy a Doppler too. Just not sure whether it'll work for me because I've got a high BMI. Which one are you thinking if getting?

LondonSuperTrooper · 20/09/2014 17:47

And I've got my scan this Monday. I'm so not looking forward to it :(

lila35 · 20/09/2014 17:57

ohh I don't think I am going to buy anything for the baby till I am 20/25 weeks...or even beyond!! It hard enough buying mat clothes!

Original poster
TinyTear · 20/09/2014 18:26

Aw London. Fingers crossed. Will be thinking of you.

I will not buy a Doppler as last time my daughter liked to be towards the back and I had an anterior placenta so even the midwives found it hard to get her HB... I would just worry...

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Original poster
TinyTear · 20/09/2014 18:27

And I don't know whether to like my hospital's efficiency or to want to kill them... Just got on the post the date for my 20w scan and GTT at 16w and 28w
Don't want to think that far away!!

OP posts:
LondonSuperTrooper · 20/09/2014 19:32

Thanks Tiny.

I actually like your hospital's efficiency. Maybe you need these dates in your diary so that you can be positive & optimistic with this pregnancy?

My hospital has given me a nuchal scan but no midwife booking in appt! If my scan is all good, then
I'll have to ring the GP to arrange one for me.

Original poster
TinyTear · 20/09/2014 19:39

That is a bit silly London. I needed my thyroid meds upped so it was good they did that test at my booking appointment. But I was on it with my GP if I hadn't had the appointment.

OP posts:
LondonSuperTrooper · 20/09/2014 19:47

I think the mix up occurred as I requested a different hospital from the norm.

LIG1979 · 20/09/2014 20:34

Smiling - I have an angel sounds doppler and it worked well from 13 weeks with dd. I am pretty slim naturally although gained lots of weight in the 1st trimester so definitely had some padding by 13 weeks. I didn't actually buy anything for the baby till after the 20 week scan and then my dh had to do it as I couldn't face it. will probably not buy anything this time until after 20 weeks but have the big items already.

That said, I have started buying maternity clothes this time. But will only buy cheap things on ebay till 12 week scan. My dd was born in the summer so have very few winter maternity clothes. Hoping to cover it up till 12 weeks but not sure how mucn maternity trousers and floaty tops can do!! That said, i did buy a lovely dress earlier on ebay. Was quite a lot for second hand but had tags and I figured out I could probably sell it on for about the same if it went wrong.

Tiny - good the nhs are being organised but can understand your concerns. I had to book my 16 week appt when doing my booking in and it all seems so far away and may never materialise.

So I am 10 weeks now! Hoping that the nausea will continue improving and I will soon have a countdown to the 12 week scan. 2 days of holiday left then back home to work. Sad

Shetland · 20/09/2014 20:43

That is very organised tinytear but I see your concerns. Could you just jot them down somewhere out of sight for now?

My elastic band on my work trousers just isn't enough anymore. I'm going to have to admit defeat and get out the maternity ones but I really don't want to - not least because I'm only 9 weeks! I might have a rummage through my wardrobe and see if I have any skirts that might see me through a bit longer, they tend to have stretchier waist bands.

Is that your 12 week scan london ?

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/09/2014 21:17

Its the angel sounds doppler im looking at buying so glad you found it good Lig

At first I was adamant that we werent buying anything until at least 20weeks, it was my counsellor that suggested I should allow myself to buy a few items every few weeks after the 12 week scan, its to help me overcome the negative feelings about jinxing things because nothing I do will cause me to miscarry.

all good till she buggers off on holiday and leaves me to deal with the anxiety alone