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Original poster

Had a miscarriage and due in April 2015? shall we try not to scare the other ones?

976 replies

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 16:15

Hello

Having had 5 mcs and 1 DD I am not feeling very hopeful (juest realistic) even though I am doing different things than before...

4w today and on cyclogest pessaries since CD21...

Maybe we could have a separate thread to the biiiig one so we don't scare the others with our (my) negativity...

Welcome

TinyTear, 40, 1 DD, 5mcs, due in April but don't want to know the exact day...

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smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 12/09/2014 12:46

Im sorry ifits

Hope everything goes ok today bristolian im sending big hugs your way x

lila35 · 12/09/2014 12:56

sorry to hear your news ifits.

Original poster
TinyTear · 12/09/2014 14:47

Just had my booking appointment with the midwife. Hope this won't jinx things... Scared now...

OP posts:
OneDayLikeThis2013 · 12/09/2014 14:56

Really sorry to hear that ifitshoping you've got lots of support in RL. Look after yourself xx

Hoping all has gone as well as it can today bristol

Tiny had my booking in on Tues and feel exactly the same, like I've jinxed it. The rational part of me is saying of course there is nothing I can do to not miscarry again and if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Doesn't make things any easier though does it?

lila35 · 12/09/2014 15:54

i've bitten the bullet and bought some maternity jeans and 3 tops, I am completely freaking out that there won't be anything to see at my 12 week scan next week and I'll have them as an awful reminder. I had to get something though and it seemed daft to just buy things in a bigger size when they werent going to fit properly at all. I just wish I could bury this fear and enjoy this part of my pregnancy, I hope I get to point when I can relax and enjoy it.

No cramps, no bleeding..please let everything be ok...

Original poster
TinyTear · 12/09/2014 15:54

i know... brains are funny things...

i shall be consultant led...

  • high BMI
  • previous Gestational Diabetes
  • hypothyroid
  • recurrent miscarriages
  • on clexane

so not just one factor

OP posts:
smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 12/09/2014 16:53

Im also consultant led because I have a weird illness that causes pain in my calf muscles, I havent had any problems for years so im slightly annoyed by the decision as I want to be midwife led but as long as my consultant agrees to a home birth I will go along with it.

ive also resorted to maternity trousers, my normal clothes dont fit at all anymore and it hurts if anythings too tight around my stomach although I kept putting it off because I didnt want to tempt fate!

my 12 week scan is on Tuesday and im terrified, dp keeps saying I shouldnt be because we had the private scan and everything was fine but that was last week the only way id feel relaxed is if I had a scan everyday.

I will be 12 weeks on Sunday I keep thinking how last time I was so happy to get to 12 weeks and relaxed, it plays over and over in my head that 12 weeks isnt themagic number, I miss the innocence and excitement, I sometime wonder if im doing this baby a disservice by not being as excited as last time.

Shetland · 12/09/2014 18:25

I feel a bit like that smiling but I just can't think in terms of 'baby' yet - it's all about getting to the next scan.

I am wearing early pregnancy jeans but they are not paranoia inducing ones as I've been wearing them for the last 4 years or so. I will have to admit defeat and get some other bits out soon though - but I'm holding off as long as I can. I currently have elastic bands extending all my work trousers' waists.

LondonSuperTrooper · 12/09/2014 20:23

Ifits- I'm so sorry to read your news. I hope that you have got a good support network around you.

Bristol, how did you get on today?

OneDayLikeThis2013 · 13/09/2014 19:07

lig hope you're scan went well today?

8 weeks today and scanxiety has kicked in massively for tomorrow morning ... Planning on getting there at the last minute to avoid having to wait around beforehand.

lila35 · 13/09/2014 19:26

Good luck tomorrow Oneday x

LIG1979 · 13/09/2014 20:22

All good Oneday. Measured bang on 9 weeks with a good heartbeat which is what I was hoping for. My head has been wandering into the -I may possibly have a baby in my arms during April next year type of thoughts all day which is very scary. Now got to hold out till the 12 week scan. I also hope your scan goes well tomorrow. What time is it?

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend and not feeling too yuk. as usual I am into my bad time and about to try and sleep through the nausea.

OneDayLikeThis2013 · 13/09/2014 21:35

That's fantastic news lig really really pleased for you! It's all looking really positive for you x

10:20 tomorrow for me.

Ditto with the nausea stepping up in the evening. For the last week or so now I've gone to sleep feeling so sick. Lying on my left side propped up with a pillow seems to work, I think it's supposed to aid digestion or something?

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 13/09/2014 21:45

Great news lig im so happy you had good news Grin

im 2.5hrs away from being 12wks Smile

my ms gets worse in the evening too although thankfully it seems to be easing a bit and im able to stay up a bit later but ive now got a whole host of new symptoms, my back aches, my breasts hurt and ive got really horrible stretchy cramps in my pelvis and hips, not that im complaining ill take whatever is thrown at me as long as I get a baby in march.

Shetland · 13/09/2014 22:18

Fab news LIG Grin

LondonSuperTrooper · 14/09/2014 05:09

Congratulations on your scan LIG.

oneday best of luck with your scan today.

I envy all those will suffer with MS. I'm 8 weeks today and haven't got any pregnancy symptoms :( I think I'm a little bloated - but that could be because I've eaten bread! I'm still worried sick they something will go wrong.... Especially as I fell down the stairs last night :( My DH is getting sick of my negative attitude but for the life of me I don't know how to shake the doom & gloom feeling.

LondonSuperTrooper · 14/09/2014 05:12

And we've told my parents out news last night. They were so happy for us :)

Also, I've got a GP appt tomorrow to inform them of my pregancy. Due to my previous miscarriages the GP has asked me not to tell them I'm pregnant till I receive a scan letter saying all is well & once I'm over 8 weeks. I hope that they can fit me in for the nuchal scan- it's going to be a but tight!

LondonSuperTrooper · 14/09/2014 05:13

Apologies for the typos. It's obviously far too early for me to be posting!

Original poster
TinyTear · 14/09/2014 09:02

Ahrgh, had a shag this morning for the first time since discovering I was pregnant (poor DH) and now paranoid with knicker checking...

OP posts:
Shetland · 14/09/2014 10:01

Good luck today oneday

OneDayLikeThis2013 · 14/09/2014 11:16

Scan went well. Measuring 8 weeks (I'd estimated I was 8+1 today according to when I'm pretty sure I ovulated, going by my lmp I'd be 7+5), lovely heartbeat and all looking good. Midwife was lovely, really took her time and I'd told her our history so she was really reassuring and talked me through everything. Did this really cool thing where she showed the blood flow in red and blue on the screen so we saw the healthy placenta and blood through beans heart.

I don't feel out of the woods yet but I'm comforted by the fact that I'm two weeks further along than I managed last time.

Shetland · 14/09/2014 11:30

That's great oneday Very reassuring.

Original poster
TinyTear · 14/09/2014 14:05

Great news one day

I thought the same at my 8w scan. Reassuring but not out of the woods... Now as my next scan approaches I am again scared shitless!

OP posts:
LIG1979 · 14/09/2014 16:14

Great news Oneday. Relaxing.....I am not sure when I will relax. Even with my mmc - I only got to 9.5 weeks but it had died weeks before, but I still worried all the way through the pregnancy with dd but I did get better once I got past 20 weeks . I think scans just scare me after the shock of my 1st scan.

That said I got my doppler out of the garage today but will wait till after my 12 week scan before I start using it obsessively. Was trying to find some maternity clothes to take on holiday. Ended up getting very tearful at dd's tiny baby clothes - hard to imagine she was once so tiny.

Smiling well done on reaching 12 weeks. When is your scan? Hope your bosses are being better. Maybe they were the sort of people who managed to be very pragmatic about their mc and just continue as if it never happened and similarly pregnancy was easy. But you would still hope they had a little more compassion in their line of work. (Although my gp has young children and called me dramatic for worrying about dd having convulsions - so maybe not!)

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 14/09/2014 17:55

oneday thats lovely news im so happy for you, I actually got a little tearful x

lig my scan is on tuesday.

My boss mc at 6 weeks and was back at work a week later they just cant understand why I was/am so upset, I thought it might be because I was into the 2nd trimester so thought I was safe (not that I think it matters if you miscarry at 4 or 40 weeks its still a massive loss) its only being on here that I realised it was perfectly normal for me to feel the way I do, they made me feel like I was being dramatic Sad