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Original poster

Had a miscarriage and due in April 2015? shall we try not to scare the other ones?

976 replies

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 16:15

Hello

Having had 5 mcs and 1 DD I am not feeling very hopeful (juest realistic) even though I am doing different things than before...

4w today and on cyclogest pessaries since CD21...

Maybe we could have a separate thread to the biiiig one so we don't scare the others with our (my) negativity...

Welcome

TinyTear, 40, 1 DD, 5mcs, due in April but don't want to know the exact day...

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Shetland · 08/09/2014 08:17

*bad feeling

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 08/09/2014 10:54

Im 11+1 weeks, my symptoms fade in and out I can go a couple of days where I feel completely normal and start to panic then ill have a day like yesterday when I feel awful.

ive decided to tell my bosses, I just need to find a time when the children are occupied elsewhere which wont be easy.

jbee1979 · 08/09/2014 11:14

hi everyone. Thanks for the pep-talk last Monday. I had more bleeding yesterday and haven't slept a wink - but i went for my scan today and bean measures 5+6 with no heartbeat. i didn't get my hopes up to see one, but it would have been nice. i thought i was 6+2 - technician says it all looks good and to come back in 2 weeks to check its progressing normally. i can breathe now. i feel sick and boobs hurt - so its all good for now. Smile

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 08/09/2014 11:26

jbee thats good news Thanks

jbee1979 · 08/09/2014 11:37

Thanks Smiling xx

Original poster
TinyTear · 08/09/2014 11:49

Arse cunk fuck bollocks!

It seems the Duchess is only about 8w... so due in April like us...

Arse fuck! this means if things go wrong we will have the cunting fucking reminder of a birth around our due dates.

Apologies for the language, but even with the nausea I still can't believe things are progressing....

OP posts:
smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 08/09/2014 11:55

tiny I thought exactly the same thing and then I thought ffs what if she picks the same name as me then ill end up with a popular name I actually got really cross Angry

then I decided I was being mean and cried for 20 mins, got to love pregnancy hormones Blush

LIG1979 · 08/09/2014 12:04

.
Good news jbee. A few days out on dates is nothing and good you get another scan in a couple of weeks.

Smiling - 11+2 wow. Hope it goes well telling your bosses. I hope they are sympathetic.

Shetland - I know with dd I did get lots of coming and going symptoms. When is your scan this week?

Stuntman - I know with dd I found it very hard to think about a baby and I think I only started when I found out the gender and started to get kicks. This time I do not feel any love for the blob of cells making me ill and I don't want to 8 until a bit further on. I hate it when people say congratulations to me.

I had a couple of good days with just enough sickness to stop me panicking but felt well enough with drugs to do some normal things. Then yesterday I was floored from doing too much on Saturday. 8+3 now so hoping I am over the worst if it is anything like last time. Got another scan on Saturday just to check all is ok in there before going on holiday.

Did you see kate middleton is pg? that is a bit annoying timing wise? If it doesn't work out I will have to see her glamorous bump getting bigger. That said rather her than me having the whole world watching her whilst feeling rubbish and if it doesn't work out for her it would be horrible to be in the public eye like that.

LIG1979 · 08/09/2014 12:06

crossed posts.....about kate.

I do get funny about people with the same due date as me. A close friend had a due date around my 1st mc and I often look at him and think what it would be like if dd was born then. that said my mil said something poignant after my 1st mc as she had 3 before my dh. If she hadn't had them she wouldn't have had my dh.

Original poster
TinyTear · 08/09/2014 12:13

so true LIG, if I hadn't had my 3mcs, I wouldn't have my DD

OP posts:
Shetland · 08/09/2014 17:39

Good news jbee

Sorry smiling but I did smile at your pregnancy hormones :)

No date yet LIG but dates wise it should be this week as it's an 8 week scan (apparently)

lila35 · 08/09/2014 17:48

I am actually quite pleased for her, having had a friend who was pg when I mc'd last time whilst it was so very hard, seeing that gorgeous bubba and how happy her made her at the end ade me realise it just wasn't meant to be for me that time, even though it was devastating dealing with the whole pregnancy.

My sickness is coming and going to, although it generally turns up at some point in the day for a large chunk of it. It feels alot like I have the tailend of a hangover that I can't shift.

I got my scan date through this morning, A week on Friday, I'll be 12 weeks exactly, although the mw has said they can still change my dates if its measuring bigger or smaller, even though its an IVF baby and we know exactly when the egg was fertilized. I just hope that little thing is still growing and its heart is still going, I am driving myself crazy...i'm like a broken record!!

Good luck telling your bosses smiling, I am sure they will be happy for you.

CareBearWithFangs · 08/09/2014 17:51

Hi

Sorry it might be a bit late but please may I join this thread as well?

I haven't had a miscarriage but we did have a termination for medical reasons in April after we found out our baby had Down's syndrome.

I already have 1 DD, she's 3. I'm 28. DP is 31. I'm 7 weeks.

Just say if this isn't the right place for me, I'm just not ready to talk about any of the practicalities of having a baby yet. We're still in the phase where we don't use the word baby at all.

Original poster
TinyTear · 08/09/2014 18:07

Welcome carebear. This is the place for everyone wary and who doesn't want to buy prams at 6w...

OP posts:
lila35 · 08/09/2014 18:16

me too carebear...sometimes the bigger april thread is a little overwhelming with how far ahead everyone is thinking. I'm just not there yet....

CareBearWithFangs · 08/09/2014 19:23

Thank you for the welcome and I apologise for what is about to be a very negative post.

I'm really struggling today. I don't know what's set me off whether it's the news about the new royal baby or because I booked our nifty test today but I just have this awful feeling. I feel like I know even though I'm pregnant I'm not going to get a baby that I can hold in my arms and take home. I can just feel it with absolute clarity. And I keep seeing our last baby, we saw him after the procedure and I keep picturing him. This pregnancy seems so like the last when we lost him (I know it was our decision but I can't describe how awful it was). I have terrible morning sickness just like last time and I'm convinced that it means something is wrong.

I've had to tell my boss that I'm pregnant because I keep disappearing to be sick. And she was so excited, kept gussing and saying you must be so happy, then asked if I wanted a girl or a boy. I resisted the urge to scream just a baby I can hold will do! I know I'm being an ungrateful cow. It's why I haven't told many people yet. Only told my best friend and DP's mum because they both know how we'll be feeling.

Sorry I'm not sure how much sense this makes. I'm crying and typing like a loon.

lila35 · 08/09/2014 19:40

We are happy for you to pour it all out, it helps to help you make sense of how you are feeling. And you do make sense, i am so scared of not getting a baby at the end of this, I'll take whatever comes at me thats baby related on the chin and work through it.

How long till your nifty test? Have you spoken to your gp/mw about your fears? Is there any help you can get to help you manage the anxiety?

I have friends and clients ( I am a hairdresser) who always ask if I would want a boy or girl, they know we have been tryig and that we have had IVF and my response is always, I'll take whtever it is, baby, alien, dog. It generally gets the point across.

Original poster
TinyTear · 08/09/2014 19:48

CareBear, I'm doing Harmony.
I honestly don't know what I will/ would do if the result is positive. I know I used to be adamant I would also terminate but I am now 41 and this is my last chance at a baby (5mcs) so I really really don't known..
That is also why I am doing the harmony this early (going at 10w) to just know as soon as possible to have more time to make a decision

OP posts:
CareBearWithFangs · 08/09/2014 19:57

Thanks lila. Nifty test booked on 12th October when I'll be exactly 12 weeks. It's just very close to what why originally due date would have been.

I think I feel bitter. It's awful. I miss that innocent hope and joy of being pregnant. And looking forward to scans rather than dreading them.

I am a regular ray of sunshine today, sorry. I'm having a bath to hide away because when I feel like this I don't want to be around anyone in real life.

How is everyone else today?

CareBearWithFangs · 08/09/2014 20:02

Tiny, I honestly think it's one of those situations where you don't really know what you'll do until your faces with it. I felt so differently about the whole thing than I thought it would. I know I'll never forget about our baby and I'll think about him every day.

Just reading through the thread and can see it's not just me who struggles with congratulations. If I could I think I'd wait until 20 weeks before telling people. But I know I'll be showing by then, 3rd pregnancy and 2nd this year so I already can't do up my skinny jeans.

Shetland · 08/09/2014 20:29

Welcome carebear Sorry you find yourself here, but you are in good company - I think it's safe to say that we all look forward to scan and dread then in equal measure.
I have had a TOP for medical reasons and it was awful - although I suspect mine was probably earlier than yours.

Good news on a scan date lila

LIG1979 · 08/09/2014 20:29

Evening all,

Welcome carebear- whilst our pregnancies were taken away from us, I think the choice you had to make was awful. It is something I try not to think about! (My last 12 week scan i switched off after finding out it was alive as i had not thought past the keeping it alive stage.) Feel free to moan. We all have good days and bad days.

I had to go through some of my old maternity clothes today. I didn't want to get it out till 12 weeks but I am having some trouble fitting into my clothes. I am hoping to use some maternity trousers and then just use floaty tops for a bit. Not sure I am going to get to 20 weeks keeping it quiet if people are already guessing. A friend kept staring at my belly earlier but didn't ask anything. I am just so fat in the belly already!Â

Bristolian1 · 08/09/2014 20:41

Hi ladies,

Welcome carebear and sorry for your loss. For what it's worth I feel exactly the same about the loss of innocence. I am pleased to be pregnant but I actually found myself when forced to tell another work colleague today saying 'unfortunately' I am pregnant! I can't believe that came out of my mouth... I am a little crazy with tiredness after 3 12 hour shifts on the trot.

Congrats on the positive scan jbee

I've got a scan tomorrow, and I am so nervous about it. I've not had much spotting since last week and have got symptoms, but I had symptoms last time...

CareBearWithFangs · 08/09/2014 20:42

Me too LIG. I've bought some bigger leggings and hoping I can get away with leggings and dresses for a while. Maybe some scarfs?

I've had a bath and a ice lolly to try and cheer myself up.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 08/09/2014 20:53

Hi carebear this is a great place to let off steam and be negative, everyone here knows what a mix of emotions each day is, im so sorry for what youve been through x

well one boss was stuck on a train and the other was 20mins late so all I wanted to do was crawl to the car and get home, ill try and tell them tomorrow, which might actually be better as eldest is at brownies and youngest is easier to distract so I can talk to them without worrying about little ears overhearing.

shetland its ok you can laugh at my pregnancy hormones in fact if it will cheer you all up I can share many many crazy pregnant women moments, its getting embarrassing Blush

i have an appointment with the obstetrician on Wednesday does anyone know what to expect? Im feeling a bit anxious about it.

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