September 2014 - we're over half way there!

[HippyJess]

Shiny noo thread with only 4 full months to go! Where did the time go??

I really want to keep my head and go with the flow as you say whiteblossom. Fear is not my friend! I'll try my best to be like that anyway. :)

LoL @ bunch of grapes out the arse comment. Now that would be painful. I have read before that some women find piles more painful than childbirth. I've experienced piles before unfortunately (sorry if tmi) so childbirth should be a breeze then!!

Random question which I really don't need to think about yet but anyway.... do any of you wear contact lenses? Are you going to wear them during the birth? I was just wondering if it would be a faff to take them out when I'm exhausted/in pain... or that I might go to sleep in them because I forget. But I also hate wearing my glasses and I'm sure they would annoy me during labour. Alternatively I will have to labour while only being able to see a short distance around me lol.

Oh God I'm terrified of giving birth. I've heard so many horror stories, and I'm scared of pain. I've also heard so many people that have 'birth plans' that go completely out of the window on the day that I'm just planning on going with the flow a bit (particularly as I live in a area with particular pressures on maternity services so I've heard a lot of women don't end up in their first choice of hospital etc), so in a way I'd rather not have a detailed plan so I'm not disappointed if it doesn't work out (if that makes sense)? In terms of pain relief, given that it's my first and I've no idea how I'm going to feel / cope, I'm just going to say please give me whatever pain relief I request at the time, providing it's safe for me and baby. If that's a full epidural then that's fine with me. Whatever gets me through.

Whiteblossom - I'm not too worried by the birth either, I've no previous experience, and can totally understand anyone who had a hard time previously feeling apprehensive. But I'm more of the want to go with the flow (but avoid certain things). Think I'm more concerned of going into labour at 36 weeks when DH has a 12 day long business trip the other side of the country, meaning if be all alone with only SIL locally to call on (who has two small kids so not going to be able to drop & run at call of a hat!) Or getting stuck in the bath at said time.

whiteblossom, no it doesn't sound dismissive at all and you shouldn't feel guilty for the way you feel

The description my consultant midwife gave me is brilliant and sums things up.

Everyone fits somewhere on a long spectrum of anxiety over childbirth. Some women are at the end where they feel at peace, and aren't worried at all. At the other end are people like me who are a 'little bit nutty'. There aren't many people at each end of the scale. Most people fit somewhere in between and have anxiety to a greater or lesser degree. Its all normal. Its not a competition or a measure of our worth as women. There is no 'weaker' or 'stronger' about it. We are just different.

I actually find it nice to hear positive feelings about birth occasionally. In a strange way its nice to know not everyone finds it as difficult to cope with as me. I only have a problem when people refuse to acknowledge that not everyone is the same as them and aren't supportive or think its something you can just switch off. I actually get upset at some very pro-ELCS/anti-natural birth people too, for the same reason. No one should see it as 'sides'.

ANYWAY... ON A LIGHTER NOTE.
I'm now holding off buying anything, unless its on a really good offer or I MUST have, as the big summer sales are at the end of June. There's a fair chance that they'll be a new glut of second hand stuff available round then too. I'm starting to get quite resentful at the 'price fixing' of certain items, so am looking to get the odd really good bargain. Despite my instincts it was too early we bought a pram in April in the last round of big sales and saved about £160, so I'm hoping for a repeat. Should be a gut of second hand stuff that appears around the same time too. Definitely worth keeping track on upcoming sale dates.

whiteblossom I'm probably a bit of a contradiction in the fact that I'm a born worrier and totally over think things, I also like to do lots of research on things (which doesn't always help!), BUT when it comes down to the actual birth I am very much of the 'go with the flow' mentality and never had a birth plan, I was fully prepared to go with whatever happened (totally realise though that some people have medical things to put in birth plan so could be useful for this - I was lucky in that respect that I don't).

On a positive note, with my actual birth the contractions were definitely bearable and I only had gas and air (and nothing with dc2), so the part up to 10cm was definitely not as bad as I thought, and I was in the birthing pool for all of this which I found was great (I was a wrinkled prune after having been in there all day though ). It was only from the pushing stage onwards that it became traumatic, but mine was a very unusual situation and I haven't known anyone else it has happened too, so don't want to worry others. This was why I was worried when it came to dc2, and unfortunately rightly so, but luckily with dc3 here in NZ they recognised the danger of it happening again and came up with a solution.

I would say that during your birth make sure you speak up if you think something is wrong or aren't happy with something - I don't think I did this enough with my first birth. I have definitely been a lot more vocal since

Going back to the lighter note...
velvet that pram looks really nice and does look in very good condition. Couldn't see any feedback for the seller though, although that doesn't necessarily matter. I know it is tricky when you are buying second hand, we were in the same position as you and couldn't afford new either with dc1 so totally understand. Is that pretty standard price for them? I think we paid £100 for ours, but that was over 6 years ago and it wasn't in as good condition as that. If its a good price then you could always sell it on again if not what you expected?

Before I had ds I thought I had a very looowww pain threshold. It turns out I have a good pain threshold. I learnt something about myself.

Everyone is scared of pain that's normal but this is something we are built to do and millions of women do it every day and go on to have more children.

I found that the mw offered pain relief to me before I needed to ask for it. The mw gave me options and gave me time to think about them and discuss them before I was in a position not to be able to do that. That helped me feel that things were in control and that I was being cared for and that I had options available.

keep an open mind what ever gets us through.

Someone posted a pic of a birthing chair type thing they had in their local labour ward and I think that look ace. My legs shake terribly in labour so I cant really do standing or on knees so that looks ideal. I'll have to go and check out my local labour ward, I know they do walk arounds.

That was me who posted the picture of the multitrac birthing system whiteblossom. Shame there is only one in the whole hospital though, maybe I'll get lucky! They cost thousands apparently

Topmummy - I also have contact lenses and hate wearing glasses, but I guess I will just see how I feel on the day.

Is anyone else still in complete denial about going through labour? Even though I feel kicks and everything I still can't believe I'm actually having a baby..

With regards to travel systems, I have gone for the obaby Zezu. It's currently 1/2 price at kiddicare for £150 for the pram which coverts to the lie down option for newborns. The car seat is £51.99 atm in mothercare making the whole thing like £200! I must state I have ordered this online and have not test driven it yet although the reviews r good. I will let u know what it's like when I do. I just didn't want the offer to end before I get a chance to go to the shops.

Also I got a play mat thing 75% off from kiddicare now £7.49!! It's lovely.

Back to the consultant! It appears my kidneys are misbehaving again. Does anyone else dread having to tell work that you will be out for yet another appointment? Don't get me wrong, I never get told I cant, and I'm always paid for it but somehow I'm made to feel like they are doing me a favour...

Oh god tea yes every time I email the deputy head to say there's another appointment! I feel the (probably imagined) huff of "more cover" down the ether! Hope your appointment goes ok and that your kidneys are sorted soon.

DH has gone off cycling for today and tomorrow so let me have his credit card. I have whittled choice of prams down to two, ditto car seats, and have been to mamas and papas and made the most of their 30% and 50% off sales, also ordered Moses basket from them too. That made it feel a bit real. But also made me realise that This Is Happening. I hate shopping at the best of times and am hanging around town for another 4 hours to collect a friend from station - might have to hit ikea. At the moment I have a very hungry tummy so lots of stopping to feed it - is this just it getting practice?!

Here's me 26+2, I love my bump!
I'm ravenous all the time now, I hope I'm eating enough, I often forget to eat or eat & run, I haven't been weighed again by MW but have put on about a stone & a half so I think I'm on track! lol
Bought a close caboo baby carrier, it arrived today, it SEEMS easy enough to work out, whether it's easy with a wriggly baby who knows?!
I'm trying not to think too much about the birth part, I like being ignorant to it all & have airy fairy ideas of being calm & collected throughout!

Cindy I am with you on the denial of giving birth front! Not sure if its just my way of coping though

I don't think about birth almost at all. It's my first baby, so don't really know what to expect from own experience. My sister went through 4 labours (1 VB, 3 C-sections ), all of them were with some complications-smaller or bigger, but that somehow doesn't scare me at all. I take it as her unlucky experience, which didn't affect her wish for more kids anyway, but I will have my own experience and can deal with it absolutely differently.

I've already started working on my birth plan, which is quite detailed, but flexible in everything as I know nothing has to go by plan. It's just my idea how this could go in an ideal situation. The most important reason why I'm making it is to check with midwife and hospital what is possible and what are my options and to make sure that everyone who will care about me before, during and after labour realize I am prepared and know exactly what I would like to happen. Also as it's my first, during writing birth plan I can find out what everything is available these days.

But I do think about the pain during birth- whether I'll be hysteric or deal with it relatively calmly. Normally I'm dealing with pain very good and it has to be really strong pain to make me complain or make a fuss, but I noticed little bit more sensitivity since I'm pregnant.

dinah we have a caboo and its been brilliant for us. Im on my phone so I can't do a link but search 'how to caboo' on youtube - there is a really good video by kiddicare on there. Takes a few attempts to get the hang of but it's like riding a bike once you've got it! I suggest you get the video up and practice with a teddy while you watch it, pausing when nessecary. Even DH can manage it in about 30 seconds now with our 11 month old. I'm looking forward to using it again - it's been a no no for me, especially as DS is nearly 22lb .

Is anyone having problems with varicose veins not just on legs?? Sorry for being too intimate, but I don't know if it's normal to have varicose veins on ladies parts . It's very painful when standing or sitting for a longer(specially sitting on something not very comfy). I'm quite nervous about telling midwife

EllaBella220 I know, I'd just feel really awkward if she wanted to see it .. I'm still not used to talking with someone about intimate things like this, during labour though I won't care who sees what, I know. :)

Velvet have you checked that it's a varicose vein? I have SPD and sometimes the pain feels like it is there instead of my hips, I think it has something to do with where the symphus pubis is that makes it feel like I'm having pains down below. If I stand for too long, sit in an uncomfy position or walk for too long it starts to hurt.

Ouch ouch velvet!

I had my first antenatal class today (day one of a two day 10am-4pm course - next one is next Friday). I was impressed with it, I have to say. I wasn't expecting too much but the group was quite small - about 5 couples and there was encouragement to ask questions and participate but not pressured at the same time. Luckily there is one first time couple who ask loads of questions so less need for me to pipe up and one second time mum who had a CS before and is planning on a VB this time but has had complications, and had baby abroad before so learning about some things here for first time, but has previous experience and is not shy about sharing her opinion! Not always appropriate, but amusing none the less.

A midwife and student midwife were leading it, very engaging and knowledgeable with a no question is stupid attitude which is nice, as you don't often get that from the NHS.

We covered quite a mix of things: stages of labour, pain relief options and some considerations for after birth (when to cut the cord, who to cut the cord, do you want baby to have vitamin k etc) and also safe way for baby to sleep and how to bath baby and change nappy.

What did they say about when to cut the cord lilone?

Thanks teabiscuit it was the YouTube video that made me buy it, they make it look so easy! I'm so pleased you've given it a good review, there are so many to choose from but I thought this one looked the safest!
Just been my lazy daisy class and learned the bearing down out breath, been told to practice this one on the loo in case it makes me open my bowels! haha!
I'm getting backache in my shoulders now, not sure why there, wonder if it's posture related? I hope it doesn't get much worse.
Has anyone bought any baby care books, I've just got one called baby love, it seems ok so far no routines to follow or judginess, I need to get DH to read a bit, I am not doing this on my own! Lol

Poor you velvet! I don't have that problem myself but I've definitely heard of that before. Pregnancy does mean we have an increased blood supply so even though it's obviously uncomfortable it's probably nothing to worry about and will go away on its own. I would mention it to MW or GP though just to be sure. Sitting on a pack of frozen peas might help to soothe it a bit.

Well I was going to do a bump photo but after lying down on my left side for a while earlier (knackered myself out doing gardening again!) baby seems to be stuck on my left side so my bump is a bit lop sided at the mo lol. I was a bit worried actually as she seemed quite wedged there as she kept tickling/jabbing my left rib! Very odd feeling . Hope she moves more to the middle soon. Sounds a bit silly but I am paranoid I have somehow squashed her!

Btw Dinah you're bump is so neat and cute! I'm 28w so not that far ahead of you but mine is a bit more spread out

Strawberry They were saying there is two schools of thought about when the cord should be cut, but essentially it should be your decision (though I imagine that midwives would want it to be done straight away unless you say something just because it is more time effective in getting the whole labour finished up). Some people say that you should wait until the cord finishes pulsating as the baby then receives extra blood and oxytocin from the placenta (usually takes 3-6 mins apparently). Others say the cord should be cut straight away as if you leave it the baby gets too much blood and can become jaundice - but the midwife said whereas jaundice in adults indicates illness, in newborns it literally is just being yellow and usually goes away on its own.

And of course you need to decide who will cut the cord too!

Thanks topmammy do you know if you're having a boy or a girl? I've been told my baby's gender is why mines so neat! Could be a load of dross, my baby's breech and folded over so that might explain the shape!