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November 2014- thread 4- 12 week scans and blooming in the second trimester!

999 replies

barmybunting · 27/04/2014 12:04

Hi everyone, we have run out of posts on our last thread so hopefully we'll all find this one easily enough.

Here is to more positive 12 week scans and enjoying our second trimesters, all feeling more human hopefully!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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11
Amyrose82 · 30/04/2014 17:58

Ok I NEED those leather leggings in my life!!Envy

Scan this morning was fab, all looks well and measuring at 11+6 so I've lost a day but she did say baby was curled up a bit! Now edd is Nov 13th! Nuchal was 1.1 so unless anything dodgy shows up in my bloods that should be fine too so very happy Grin

Congrats on the happy news for the rest of today's scanees - feels like a happy thread today!

Just had a mega nap so feeling pretty peachy - going to check out ASOS and maybe treat myself...

pinkgirlythoughts · 30/04/2014 18:02

I'll be breastfeeding again with this baby. I think it really helps to be prepared for at least a couple of weeks of agony at every feed, and probably longer- all this gumph the midwives and HVs tell you before baby is born about "if it hurts you're doing it wrong, there should be no pain, yadda yadda yadda" was utter shite in my case, I was crying in toe-curling agony at most feeds until DS was at least 8 weeks old! If I hadn't had the support of my mum, MIL, auntie etc, who had all successfully breastfed babies themselves, I would have been certain I was doing it wrong and probably given up. As it was, I did feed him until 14 months, so all the struggling at the beginning was worth it in the end :)

WinterLover · 30/04/2014 18:20

I'd be happy with a FB group too. im still in and friends with the group from 3 and half years ago when pregnant with DS Grin

pinkgirlythoughts · 30/04/2014 18:25

Winter, what month was your DS born in? I only ask 'cos I'm FB friends with my MN group from 3 and a half years ago too :)

WinterLover · 30/04/2014 18:45

Its an August 2011 group

weeonion · 30/04/2014 18:58

I did have a pair of calf skin maternity jeans last time and loved them but no where needing mat clothes yet...

RandomInternetStranger · 30/04/2014 18:58

Coke?? In a pregnancy pack?? Good lord. Hmm I quite liked the freebie testers of various creams & beauty products and the tea bags, dishwasher tablets, washing powder etc (I picked up all the available bounty packs in one go) but what I took issue with was that I'm a bit of a hippy when it comes to babies, and, yes I may be a smoking, drinking, tattood, botoxed, fake boobed, self tanned, fake nailed, hair dyed, coke glugging, kebab scoffing chemical queen when I'm not pg but when I have little ones I am a breastfeeding, cosleeping, baby wearing, organic feeding, natural product using hippy and I don't use baby wipes, Johnsons anything, cradle cap remedies, nappy rash creams, soaps, lotions or anything that isn't 100% natural and I hate that they hand out products which are loaded with utter shit, frankly, in a bid to get more mothers to plaster it on to a newborn. Water on a flannel is fine for nappy changes, plain water in a bath is fine, coconut oil is fine as a wash, moisturiser, remedy for nappy rash and cradle cap (or olive oil) and natural disinfectants like lemon, vinegar & tea tree are fine for wiping most things the baby comes in contact with. I hate Milton on baby bottles when plain steam is just as effective, I hate Vaseline at every nappy change, I hate Johnsons and I hate chemical nipple creams the baby then has a good suck on. My issue with these freebies are none of them are the natural, chemical and toxin free versions. There was a sample of some stretch mark cream and it was awful stuff! You could smell the alcohol and chemicals a mile off and they want you to rub that on your tummy right by the baby. Plus it is never going to be effective with that much alcohol in it, it will dry your skin out even more! Oil is far better. The tea bags they gave out were the PGTips decaffeinated ones which are chemically defacceinated & loaded with residual shit rather than the Clipper ones which are CO2 decaffeinated and no chemical residues. The dishwasher tablets are the Finish chemical ones instead of the Ecover natural ones so presumably they want to encourage washing baby bottles in that crap, and the washing powders are again the harsh carcinogenic chemical ones loaded with pointless optical brighteners instead of the Ecover natural ones and again presumably they want to encourage mothers to wash a newborns sheets in optical brighteners. Pisses me off. Rant over, just my nazi hippy mum side is coming out with all that crap in there.

pinkgirlythoughts · 30/04/2014 19:27

Aw, mine was May 2011. We just missed each other!

Chivesmum · 30/04/2014 19:31

Random - you're a crunchy mumma!!!! I totally agree with what you say - I don't practice it all totally but the Johnson's' stuff I was given as a present was never used!! I used cotton wool and water for ages then moved on to reusable wipes and nappies and I clean my face every day with sunflower oil Wink but I do find myself slipping into using 'conventional' products when I'm tired and everything goes tits up!! But I am trying!! Smile

bunnykitten · 30/04/2014 19:33

Caravela I had exactly the same worries as you about the scan, worrying my bump was just trapped wind!

Is there a dummies guide to babies type of book that anyone would recommend? Or maybe there's a section on MN that I haven't found? I'm the first among my friends to have a baby and haven't got a clue about anything, like I don't know what muslin cloths are for or what the difference is between a cot and a Moses basket! I'm so embarrassed! Where do I learn this stuff?!?!

alita7 · 30/04/2014 19:35

random I can't afford to go all hippy/ natural but I'm making compromises where I can :) I will look into coconut oil for nipples especislly as i hate the idea of them sucking a load of chemicals. i agree olive oil is best for cradle cap! I'm intending to try to avoid too many chemicals anyway . I've got coco butter for stretch marks which I've started applying already just in case :p

I may have to upload a bump pic, it's looking huge tonight after dinner, the bottom bit is always the same size but the top bloats after meals.
For the first time in my life I'm loving tight clothing!!!

Venus2 · 30/04/2014 19:47

Bunny I am in the same boat as you and I get confused at times. I been googling stuff that has been mentioned on the thread by 2nd and 3rd timers.

Annarose2014 · 30/04/2014 19:56

bunny I first saw muslins last year when my friend had a baby and I was very confused.

To be honest I still am! Can't you just use bibs for wiping babies mouths?

I only know how to put on a nappy from putting XL nappies on adults!

I did my Midwifery placement and even helped birth a few babies but have no idea what to do with them after they leave hospital!

Venus2 · 30/04/2014 19:59

Bunny I second your question. Does anyone know of a good book for us beginners to read?

Venus2 · 30/04/2014 20:01

12 hours and 40 mins till my first scan. Please be good news. Please be good new. Please be good news...

Misslaughalot · 30/04/2014 20:04

The Bounty packs are crap, well they were when I had DD two years ago, I assume nothing much has changed.

I don't know if this has been discussed already, but first timers should be aware that you may well be visited by a Bounty rep on the ward after giving birth. MN have a campaign to stop this here but who knows how long it might take to get this to stop. The rep will want to take all your details, take photographs of your newborn and then charge you a lot for them, and may well tell you the only way you can get the child benefit form is from the pack they give you (utter shite as it's easy to find online). Don't be afraid to tell them (however politely you choose) where to go if you don't want them with you!

Misslaughalot · 30/04/2014 20:06

I don't know of any good books for first timers, but please just ask us who've done it before! I might not know all the answers, but someone here will, and it's part of going through this all together as a group.

Venus 17 and a half hours until my scan!

Chivesmum · 30/04/2014 20:08

I got the best advice from other mums on a baby forum I was on. The thing is things are so subjective cos all babies are different and what worked for one might not work for another so it is trial and error in some ways but ask us who've been there before and we can tell you what worked and what didn't work for us :)

Muslins are amazing! Bibs get wet very quickly with dribble - or some of us didn't always use them ahem but muslins soak up dribble, sick, milk, wee and poo if necessary - you will find them very useful!!

Chivesmum · 30/04/2014 20:11

Oh and when DH left me in the hospital after I had DS I went to the MW in tears saying I didn't know what to do with him.....and he was sound asleep!!!!! It all clicks into place after a while I promise

Can we all have a big grrr at my DH who has said and I quote 'you wanted to be pg so stop moaning about it' I am not happy! I know I keep whinging but ifeel awful still and it's so wearing. Would like to see him try it!!!

Misslaughalot · 30/04/2014 20:12

I'll tackle the muslin question. DD was breastfed so we never used bibs with her until she started on solids at 6 months. Muslin cloths are brilliant for little spillages when baby is feeding, or afterwards when you burp them and they might bring some of their milk back up. I think I lived with one over my shoulder for the first two months to catch anything that might have ended up down my back otherwise! We had at least two in each room, and I'm sure I used one as an emergency change mat once too!

I still use some now she's 17 months, good for just having around to wipe things up easily.

bunnykitten · 30/04/2014 20:23

Thanks everyone, and glad its not just me!

So muslin cloths are very absorbent things that we can use on anything that needs mopping up. That makes sense. How many muslin cloths would we need?

Chivesmum - That's shocking and definitely deserves a big grrr!

blamber · 30/04/2014 20:25

So much to read!

I love the idea of the coloured muslins!

Anna, 13 hours is very tough! Weeonion, 4 hours commute? I feel like I shouldn't complain, but 3 hours commute and 8 hours work is just too much for me atm. It's also my first full-time job after being a student. So all I do is work, eat, shower and go to bed. And read mumsnet Smile. Well, I'm off to bed now Hmm

Venus2 · 30/04/2014 20:25

I'm glad you guys bring up stuff I haven't heard of. Otherwise I may not have heard of Muslins etc till after DC is born. Will just have to ask questions when confused as there is bound to be someone else thinking the same thing as me. Glad I joined MN :)

RandomInternetStranger · 30/04/2014 20:27

bunny a moses basket is an oval wicker basket, sometimes with a hood, usually on a stand, which the baby sleeps in for the first few months and is small and portable to have in the parent's room to make night feeds easier. A crib is a more solid wooden usually rectangular version, often on a stand and can be rocked or swings. Small enough to go in the parent's room but not as portable. A cot is a small bed with the side bars. Often the mattresses can be raised to save Mum's back while the baby is little then can be lowered so baby can't climb out when they are older. You can drop the side down to make bending over & getting to baby and the mattress easier. You can also get cot top changing mats which have a solid base and sit on top of the cot to make a handy changing table and make night changes slightly easier. Useless once baby is bigger as it just becomes a climbing frame! A cotbed is a bigger bed, almost a standard single bed size with sides originally but can be totally taken apart and dropped down to make a bed later. Then there are side cots/cribs or cosleepers. These can be made the same height as your bed and attach to the side of your bed making an extension so the baby is within arms reach and on your level so you can easily comfort and reach baby in the night, don't have to get up to breastfeed but "safer" according to ridiculous western ideals than traditional cosleeping which has baby in the parent's big bed with them.

As for books it depends what kind of mother you are! Gina Ford (who is the devil as far as I'm concerned) has a very strict and definite routine to the extent it's like "Mother must wake at 5.50am and be showered and dressed by 6.00am, baby must wake at 6am and be washed, clean nappy and dressed by 6.10am. Baby must have exactly 4oz of milk from left breast, starting at 6.12am and finishing at 6.27am. Mother must then express 4oz from right breast yadda yadda" and has strict sets of rules about how the house MUST be set up and what equipment you need etc. SO not my style but works for some and useful if you have to get into a strict routine if you're working or have other little ones etc. She uses harsher techniques like controlled crying. That's one extreme end of the scale and at the other end you have the continuum concept which is more my thing - no routines, no clocks, no rules, all very chilled and laid back and all totally about the baby which is great if you don't have to work and if that lack of routine and inability to plan anything works for you - I do more this style but it means DD didn't sleep through till she was 3 as you don't make them get into a routine or sleep though, you leave them to decide to do this on their own and I never got anywhere before noon, we coslept till she was 2.5 and ended up in the same bed most nights till she was 6, but she slept till 8.30, none of this 6am nonsense! It encourages baby to be part of the adult family and thinks that the baby learns things like knife safety by being worn whilst mum chops veg and at 18 months old they can use a proper sharp chopping knife to cut veg on their own... the opposite extreme to Gina Ford! Personally I think it is useful to read these books and get a feel for the different ideas and techniques but don't take any of them too seriously but I don't think it really helps an awful lot before hand, I think it's easier and less pressure to learn on the job so to speak and if you get too many firm beliefs beforehand you could set yourself up to "fail" when your particular baby doesn't do what the book says it should! For now I would continue to look around online for free and see where you might land. A lot of people like the Baby Whisperer but I didn't find it any use for us, to be honest. It was a much gentler version of Gina Ford and still used routines and certain techniques but not so strict and such a nazi about it! The celeb books like Jules Oliver (which was the latest one when I had DD, as was Mel's book, from Mel & Sue fame) and the bombardment of latest celeb mum books were more narratives of their lives rather than anything actually helpful. They were alright if you're interested in those celebs but not really a manual on baby care.

The books I found most helpful to be honest were a few on activities and ideas of what to do with baby from birth to 5, and suggested cheap, free, homemad activities to do each day like how to turn a loo roll into a rattle or kaleidascope or today's game is a sitting up game which helps strengthen their backs and tummy's and prepare them for sitting whilst being fun, or how to make window rainbows out of kitchen roll sheets and food dye etc. Those were good, I had 3 or 4 of them. Also my local NCT do a Tots About Town book which lists every local park, playgroup, changing room, restaurant, class, support group and reviews how good they are and whether to avoid them on Thursday afternoons or turn up half an hour early or you won't get in etc. That was a godsend!

bunnykitten · 30/04/2014 20:27

Ooh, and I had read about the Bounty reps on the ward, but thank you for reminding me Misslaughalot

I got my first Bounty pack today at the scan, it was full of adverts and a few caffeine-free tea bags. Although there was a little booklet giving a week-by-week summary of what to expect which might be helpful.

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