November 2014 Thread 3- Counting towards the second trimester!

[barmybunting]

Hi everyone,

A new thread for us chatty bunch due in November. Could someone repost the stats? I'm on my phone so can't do it. Thank you!

I'm not sure how either but without wanting to Tmi I can sort of see what he means, I don't have a very flexible mini :p and there's a very thin bit of skin at the bottom, like covering the bit befoee the perineum (not sure if It's a left over bit of hymen?)
I'm hoping pregnancy will fully prepare it be a bit more stretchy. I'm also a bit concerned my pubic bone (the bone you can feel just Inside your vag?) will snap as it's very thin in the middle, and he says most people's are much thicker.

probably silly worries though :p

is he a gynecologist???

Errm, alita, sorry, but that does sound a bit odd and not incredibly helpful of him to scare you. I think if there are aspects of the birth that are (understandably, it's a scary unknown thing) worrying you, you'd be much better off mentioning them to a midwife, who is professionally qualified to judge and assess such things. I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful you your DP, but unless he is a doctor/midwife then I can't really see how he would have the first clue how your personal anatomy would affect your body's ability to cope with childbirth.

No he's not a professional so I do agree that he isn't exactly basing this on much :p this is something he said a while before I got pregnant so I don't think it was meant to scare me.

Yes it is a bit weird now i read it back but I guess it's a worry we all have, how will something that big get out of something that small! :p

And in terms of experience I think he's just um been around the block a bit :p

alita, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about x

There's far too much use of the word 'tear' today....make it stop! All our babies will slip out with ease and within half an hour and we shall all be up and about within no time........positive mental attitude!!!!

SO glad I'm already booked for a c-section!

Hey, to put your mind at ease, i had an episiotomy, didn't feel a thing, was a little uncomfortable down there afterwards (but from the whole labour i expect) all stitches healed fine, never any probs since! It was something i had been panicking about but really, don't worry!

Bloody men!
Alita, I don't know what's worse, yours pretending to be a gynaecologist and having an opinion about the potential stretchiness of your labia or my dp who is so utterly bloody useless that he won't even listen to anything about labour and childbirth full stop.
He intends to be present at the birth and he says confidently "you'll be fine" but any time I try to talk about my abject terror at potentially ripping in half or use words like; forceps, tearing, episiotomy, delivery, perineum etc, he ACTUALLY puts his hands over his fucking ears and says "Argh, I don't want to hear it".

Books, thanks for the reassurance, it's good to hear good things and I do believe you that it probably will all be fine and I know that I won't give a bloody hoot at the time what happens down there as long as baby arrives and is alright, but jeez!

I am trying with the positive mental attitude and have ordered a prenatal yoga DVD for added 'stretchiness'.
I am looking into Hypno-birthing, not that I am under ANY illusion that it won't be begging to be put out of my misery by any means possible but because I want to have much less fear and be much more positive about the birth and because it seems to make a big difference in the early stages to speed and pain while at home.
Any second timers tried it?

I have also told dp that unless he stops being so fricking phobic of actual birth and mans up/reads up about what will happen and how best to support me in labour then I am having a Doula and he will be paying for it.
Money is really tight for us but I think having a calm, positive and experienced person on my side rather than a frightened, fainting and generally hopeless dp, it will be £300 well spent.
He seems a hell of a lot more receptive to the idea than I expected...

Scan on 29th, so so excited! Congrats to everyone who has seen their bubbas recently.

Annarose, bless you, that sounds like a rubbish, I feel for you, I'm a weepy mess myself. Recently been crying my eyes out most nights as I drive home across a common full of cows because I've been eating some red meat recently after 25 years of vegetarianism - the guilt is bonkers!

Thanks Nick, please keep the 'happily healed' experiences coming ladies!

Haha Fwiw I tore (2nd degree) and it was fine. Well, the perineal tear was fine, stitched brilliantly, never really sore and healed wonderfully. I also sustained an "unusual" (MW's words) vaginal laceration, most likely due to a combination of factors - I've a rather small anatomy in that region, I mean internally, and DS' head was something like 95th percentile, after 2h pushing as he was stuck behind a 'bump' he came, um, shooting out, so not much chance for stretching. Now that tear was fine, and would have been, had I not tried to be super woman at 5 days postpartum trying to fix the whole house, causing a stitch to come loose in the laceration and get infected Because of its location it was more delicate. That was, frankly, agony, but only for 3 days as ABs and cocodamol sorted it out, only took 3 days as I thought MWs would sort me out and discovered in the end I still had to go to GP.

Anyway, the lessons there are: even if you do tear, it's not that bad, few woman have extreme tears; do nothing after the birth ; if you have a problem, just go straight to the GP; and, apparently, it can't be that awful as here I am again!

You can do perineal massage. I didn't, I couldn't get my head round it (tried!), but many say it helps.

hiya all,

I have a blood test booked in for Tuesday then my NT scan booked in for the 1st May my mother is coming with me as dp is in the army and can't get the time off.

Have most people had their scan dates now? I'm looking forward to seeing peanut again. Sickness has gone thanks to injection and tablets and have only sore boobs now which have grown by a cup size already

9+1 today

Evening folks.

There can be so much fear around labour. I remember being so scared and unsure if i could do it.
I spoke with a mum who really helped me turn that around. She was so positive.

I stopped listening to woeful tales and realised that some folks seem to get a kick out of regaling horror stories. Yes - some labours are difficult but we rarely hear of the great ones. When someone started in with s "ooooh, you won't know what hit you. My next door neighbors aunt's cousin thrice removed nieces budgie was in labour for 5 days and then had to use to garden shears etcetc", I would smile sweetly and say "really? I am interested in why you want to tell me that? Some might say you were thrilled to scare someone? Surely not?" or "indeed."

I had a great labour. Very affirming. I listened avidly to my hypnobirthing cd (despite feeling sceptical), i blocked out negatively, i went to a fab NCT course and sought out lots of women who genuinely seemed to like and support other women. I managed it all with no pain relief (not intentional - i was looking forward to a good ole guzzle of gas n air) and had no tears or grazes. DD did indeed 'slip' out and i was up walking up to postnatal ward within an hour. I now know of many women who also had good labours.

Seek them out. They are there .

Oh - and don't rule out perineal massage and plenty of almond oil. ;-)

Thanks all for the hugs. And thanks bookshoescats for the info that bad things would show up on a scan. I actually had a very brief scan last week - all looked fine.
I keep reminding myself of that.

I've definitely noticed a certain glee amongst mothers to recount their horror stories. Its like a game old soldiers play of "Who had the worst war?" All oneupmanship! I wish just once someone would tell a lovely birth story!

ellie at least mine is interested :p yours won't be able to stick his hands over his ears once it starts! its easy to say it's Ok if you don't have to do it!

argh so hungry but what can I eat?!

I tore (sp) with DD1 - her head was so.big it was off the scale! no lasting effects and really didn't feel a thing.
my hubby is trying to be supportive but I don't think he fully gets how sick I feel (although was quick enough to move out the way when I ran past saying I was going to be sick)

hmmm obviously I did feel her head coming out that was a stupid thing to say but seriously was the least if my worries and I didn't feel the tear/stitches after and wouldn't have known they were even there - think I had 2nd degree tear

Elle I doubt any of our men get the sickness, I've been feeling sick for 6 weeks now and today dp was feeling a bit off and was moaning he was hungry and didn't know what he wanted... I was like yes that's how I've been for what feels like forever!!!

those of you who have kids already, my mum says It's the contractions that are the worst and that the baby coming out is surprisingly ok in comparison, is this what other people found?

when in labour with DS I hated the feeling of not being in control, my body was doing it's thing and I had to go along for the ride!

The contractions were definitely the hardest part, mine were really strong for about an hour and hurt like nothing I've ever felt before but when I had pethidine and it chilled me out so I didn't actually care, so will ask for this marvel again

alita Worst part of labour, for me, were the contractions prior to getting to hospital birthing centre. Had to get there and be examined, was 3cm so they usually send home but I just knew it was time. MWs asked me to go for a walk, come back whenever I feel necessary, and they'll examine again. Got about 10 feet when waters broke and threw up my dinner! Taken straight to pool room, spent about 10mins on breathing exercises then demanded G&A. So that whole experience was maybe 2h, but it felt very quick. As soon as I went on G&A it was like a wonder drug, I still felt all my contractions but it was just pressure instead of pain. Fell asleep until pressure got quite strong so I felt my body moving a lot, MW checked me, said I was fully dilated and effaced and got to pushing. Pushing didn't hurt, amazingly, sorry for description but it's a bit like trying to poop (I was on a birthing stool so that probably added to the feeling!). Pushing was without G&A, until very end of the 2h when DS came rushing along so MW gave me G&A to help slow things slightly and regulate breathing. Stitching was done with G&A and local anaesthetic injection.

So it really was just the initial contractions that felt the worst, for me. Pushing DS out was fine, I had no idea I'd torn, tbh I was pretty out of it as I was tired!

yep definitely found the pushing the easy part - you know the end is in sight and you suddenly realise what the last 39.5hrs of agony few hours of twinges were all about.
push through the burn

I don't think men "get" much of it tbh. I remember BIL saying that he thought women put alot of it on to get attention and that labour was actually harder for blokes. Aye - that's be right.
When i was in full blown labour, without realising it and just a few hours away from birth - he went out to see a friend, return a few dvds and get a pizza. Away for 2 hrs. To be fair - at a visit to hospital that lunchtime, a dismissive MW said i could expect to be like that for up to 2 more days and he took her word over mine.

Both dp and i work long hours and he thinks the pg fatigue is a bit like coming home from long shift. I also do long shifts but this mind and body sapping fatigue is like nothing else.

i should say it was dp who went out to see mates etc - not BIL! i wouldnt want him anywhere near me when in labour!

haha, I did wonder weeonion