TTC 10+++ Months Grads Thread

[sweetgrouch]

Decided to start the new thread seeing as the old one is filling up.

Oh Euro I'm so sorry for the worries. Why do they think baby might come early?? You poor thing I can imagine you must be v nervous and worried. Is it too late to transfer to a hospital with a neo natal unit just in case? I picked my hospital according to how well rated their neo natal ward was but then I was expecting twins so I thought that was the most sensible more. I read the other thread - did your mw suggest Clexane? My understanding is it only works for 12 hours so even if you have a section as long as you stop a little bit before you should still be okay. Really feel for you lovely. It's not fair you are having to go through these worries.

Sweet I'm sorry to hear about your mum. Addiction is v tough. I often think alcohol is worst than illegal drugs as it's so readily available and it's almost acceptable to drink too much. It's always hardest on the people you are close to.

Free - she sounds awful. I think you definitely did the right thing. Well done for getting it all sorted so quickly!

Thanks ladies. I will just have to wait to see what the consultant says now.

sea it's not that centime is likely to come early of his/her own accord (in fact the baby seems perfectly happy and is kicking away, has plenty of fluid, etc), but rather than due to the slow growth they might decided that he/she will do better out that in. I guess they will monitor me and carry out that balancing act.

That's helpful to know about Clexane. I will certainly be asking the consultant if I should be adding that in tomorrow.

euro - I have friends who were induced very early (before 30 weeks), the beginning was scary, but their little ones have all caught up and are thriving. Saying that, I really hope you get to keep centime in as long as possible. Hopefully he or she will have a growth spurt in the next little bit. I'm thinking of all of you and hope the visit with the consultant goes well.

good luck with the consultant today euro I hope it is very helpful and gives you some reassurance that everything will be fine and clear information about your next steps. big hug to you.

I got my glucose test results back and everything is fine, I don't have gestational diabetes, but I think I will try and broadly stick to the diet as I am feeling better on it.

Euro how did it go with the consultant? Hope they were helpful and reassuring.

Free hurray for normal results

Waves to everyone!

free that's brilliant.

sweet I'm loving all the premmie good news stories people are giving me. Survival rates are about 90% at this point, so from here on in we have a good chance of a good outcome.

I saw the consultant this morning (well, consultant's flunky). He was fairly laid back about the recent scan report (although he did trot off and seek the consultant's opinion at one point). The bump is measuring 2 weeks behind, which is roughly in line with the scan measurements, but the baby is moving and the heartbeat is strong. They have referred me to Foetal Medicine for monitoring, but the appointment is not for 10 days, so they can't be too panicked. That means that barring a lack of movements or anything like that happening in the mean time, I should get to at least 30 weeks. I feel a little more relaxed. We are going to "hope for the best, plan for the worst" so we are at least prepared. This weekend I will be doing things like buying hospital nighties in case I have a section soon (I only own pjs and they won't work so well with a catheter) and a car seat.

I asked about Clexane but they didn't seem to think it was worthwhile adding in as I am already on aspirin, so I am just to keep on with that.

I'm just going to take it day by day and try to stuff my face feed centime up and keep him/her in there as long as possible.

Euro you sound v calm and I must say wise too. Worrying won't help. Hoping for best and planning for worst is good advice. I'm hopeful that all will be well. It could all just be precaution and baby will more than likely be just fine. As others have said even if he/she was born a little early they will be just fine. Thinking of you and me Euro. Enjoy nightie shopping!

We had a knackering but productive day yesterday, getting prepared in case of an early arrival. We bought a mixture of the cute (teeny clothes and blankets), necessary (nappies and wipes) and frankly alarming (giant granny knickers in case of CS and tena lady pants which my mw recommends instead of maternity pads). We're not quite there yet, but a lot more ready than we were!

good for you euro - I hope getting ready and actively preparing for centime's arrival has proved a bit of a distraction from any worry you are feeling. Good point about the granny knickers and maternity pads. Better add them to the list.

Well done Euro on getting ready. I hope you are feeling less worried - I'm sure it's easier said than done. Has the consultant given you any useful information about what they intend to do? Is it just monitoring and depending on how that goes they will make a decision on what happens? I hope they are giving you loads of info and regular monitoring.

I have absolutely no clue what I need to get for the hospital. I suppose I should start to think about that. It's quite scary..

The hospital didn't give me any info really, just set up a referral to the foetal monitoring unit. My mw has been more useful and said a section is fairly likely as tiny babies don't withstand VB well. But I am trying to be optimistic and hope that centime gets big enough to at least have a go at induction.

My mw should be here shortly. She's just doing a quick check I think - to make sure my blood pressure isn't spiking and to have a listen to centime on the doppler. The foetal monitoring at the hospital starts on Monday.

Here are a few ideas from my hospital bag list:
slippers (slip on so no bending)
flip flops for showers
dettol wipes in case hozzie bathroom is minging
maternity pads/tena pants
giant granny pants (black)
thin (as wards as always baking) nightdresses you can feed in (I usually wear pjs but I have got nighties in case of section + catheter)
dressing gown
breast pads
nursing bras
loose clothes to go home in
a couple of outfits for baby, including hats and scratch mitts
camera
phone
chargers
magazines/books/puzzles in case of long waits
toiletries bag

I'm sure I have other things. I will take a look at my list later.

I would add:

wet wipes for yourself. You will be a bit sore when you go to the toilet after and if you end up on high doses of antibiotics (I was) you might get some mild diarrhea and wiping with scratchy 1 ply is just painful.

numbing cream for your lady bits (hospital gave me some).

clean cloths for ice to be wrapped in for when you ice yourself after. The swelling goes down much faster that way (within 1.5 weeks everything was back to normal).

Clothing in a few sizes for baby. Mini was too large for the newborn stuff.

Diapers.

Just checking in and Euro what a royal pain in the arse for you to have this worry now. :( You sound like you're coping amazingly well, though. Don't forget to rest up lots - apparently it helps baby grow when you lie flat. Centime sounds like they're happy in there, though. :) I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the very best.

So pleased to hear you don't have GD, Free!

Sweet, thank you. :) And congratulations on your diploma!

9 weeks today, and I'm just amazed to still be pregnant. After having a couple scans for bleeding, and actually seeing the (thankfully completely happy) little bean, it's kind of surreal to think that this is for really real! Now only 31 more weeks to go...

rum lovely, may your pregnancy be smooth sailing.
euro what happened with midwife visit on Tuesday - perhaps you updated the other thread. will take a look. how are you sea

today I saw the new midwife again. very happy with the choice I made. only thing she got a bit irritated about was when I asked about episiotomy, how often she did it, was it routine or exception. and she explained she tried at all cost to avoid it but sometimes it was necessary. then I said, but you don't just do it - you tell me right? and she said, whilst you are focusing on giving birth? absolutely not. I do it and explain why after.

I must have looked a bit shocked and she said, Look, I only do it if it looks like you are going to tear upwards, rather than downwards towards your bum. Because believe me, that upwards wound is way more painful when healing. But no, I am not going to distract you from focusing on your breathing and freak you out to tell you I am going for it with the scissors, nor am I going to discuss it with your husband. You won't even feel it. You either trust me or you don't. If you don't want it under any circumstances, sign here and we take the risk of you tearing but I don't intervene.

She made sense but her manner was pretty direct. I think she was having a hard morning. Will probably appreciate the directness come the day.

Bloody hell, free! That would freak me out a bit.

My mw visit was completely uneventful - BP and urine all normal still. I have the first foetal monitoring appointment on Monday so should hopefully know more then. Only 6 more days until I hit the 30 week mark (I am kind of wishing the weeks away now as each one that passes means that centime has a better chance).

euro how did it go on Monday? Will check other thread.

I've since had more explained about why telling me "we're going in with the scissors" is not a good idea while I am pushing and how to set myself up to have the best chance to avoid it. So I feel calmer.

How is everyone this week?

free the news was mixed. The sonographer measured centime back at the 25th centile - about where he/she was at 20 weeks (rather than the 3rd centile which caused the panic 2 weeks ago). However, the pressure in my umbilical cord is now high (was normal at 20 weeks and 2 weeks ago). Grrr. So I have a schedule of weekly monitoring in place from now on.

An early section still seems likely, which has upset me quite a lot. I am terrified of hospitals and have something approaching a phobia of surgical scars. I want to get to the end of pregnancy. I want to feel a contraction. But obviously, centime's safety is paramount, and I will just have to woman up. I am due to hit 30 weeks tomorrow though, and each week that passes gives centime a better chance.

You are being more stoical about the prospect of being snipped unknowingly than I would be! I think medical folks tend to be quite conservative when it comes to consent when both the patient and her husband are lawyers....

euro I am sorry to hear the crapness just continues. FGS. I found your update on the other antenatal thread. (In a non stalker like way) I completely understand about you being upset about an early section or any c-section. I suspect I'll also feel cheated if I end up with a c-section despite repeating - as long as we both come out of it healthy - that is all that matters - mantra.

Yes re: consent, but at the risk of two much information (Do Not read if you are delicate), the midwife at my birth prep course explained - they cut when the pressure is highest and it looks like you are going to rip when pushing. If they warn you, you stop pushing, the tissue is no longer as taut - the cut will hurt more. Moreover, no midwife is going to make more work for herself by cutting me unnecessarily to then have to sew me up. I would also have to sign a consent form for everything - and I can say I don't want to be cut under any circumstances - but then they will just let me tear naturally, but this could be potentially up through my clitoris. Which will hurt more and heal more painfully than a small snip downwards. I am still thinking about what to do. Mostly I am scared of anal incontinence which can be a side affect of tears and episiotomy.

I think I am going to go listen to some hypno-CD to calm myself down.

Grrrrrrr free - your posts make me cross my legs. I haven't even considered the snip snip.... I am not going to lie. The thought of childbirth really frightens me. Everytime I talk about labour with my doula I want to cry. I know that sounds pathetic but I really am scared.

Euro - I know so many ladies who had a positive c-section experience. I would say more of my friends have had a section that not. Some have been elective, some have been forced upon them. On the whole most say it was absolutely fine. When I was expecting twins I had thought about asking for a section so had prepared myself for that eventuality. I kind of think it would hurt less. The key is to find a doc who will stitch you up well apparently. Anyway, it may not come to that but it's good to be prepared. I am sure once baby is in your arms you won't care much how he/she got there.

Sweet / Euro - thanks for the tips about preparing to buy stuff. I have just realised how crap I have been about preparing for the baby. I might need to get a move on. I have bought the big stuff oddly enough (pram, cot, car seat etc) but not one piece of clothing. I have also looked into reusable nappies - Mr Sea thinks I am mad.

Rum - How are you feeling? Hope it's feeling more real. For me it didn't feel real until my bump got big. TBH the first 5 months I couldn't focus much on anything other than not throwing up most of the day. Hope you are feeling good.

Question ladies - have any of you been to a hypnobirthing class. I am tempted to explore this as I am really developing a fear of labour. Any experience?

free I understand the logic, but I'd still want to be asked to consent at the time! I think most people are here, although I have read stories of it being done without consent. I'm not massively anti-epi - if it is necessary, it is necessary - but I wouldn't want it sprung upon me.

sea I know people who have had positive c-sections too (and some less so) but I don't know one who is happy with the scar. They all have an overhang that they hate. On the NHS, you get no choice over who does it, so we are still considering the private option if we can find someone to take us at such a late stage.

I'm booked into hypnobirthing (the Judith Flood course) but not for a few weeks and I might not make it that far. So I've downloaded the Maggie Howell stuff too and have just started listening to that. So far it is more about relaxation than coping techniques, and I was hoping for more of the latter (in case I do get to labour). I've also read Juju Sindan's (sp?) Birth Skills book.

hello! I'm a former 10+ grad - I was only a 10+er for a month as I got lucky (or rather, I got thyroid meds) and got pg in month 11 of TTC. just saw this on active and saw that euro is pregnant so popped on to say congratulations - to her and to all of you.

euro I remember you trying to get your head around IVF, so pleased it worked for you in the end. I see you may be having a preemie. DD was born at just 34 weeks and seems fine. Well done for getting to 30 weeks - having seen the babies in NICU/SCBU there is a big difference past then. Most of the 30+ weekers went straight to SCBU which is much less medical (though still hospital of course...)

Re the CS/natural birth and epi: DD was born naturally and had a rough time of it (she got stuck, I actually asked for an epi in the end as I just couldn't push her out) and she was not breathing for 3/4 mins after birth - terrifying and we still can't say for sure that it did no harm. So, I can see the benefits to CS especially for the littler ones...

I read a hypnobirthing book, the Maggie Howell one and think it was really helpful - there are techniques for managing pain later on in the book and these helped me (counting especially), as well as the general "your body can do this" message. Though the book also had lots of rubbish about birth being better in developing nations (er - apart from the massive death rates you mean?) but I ignored that.

We are currently TTC #2

Thanks ladies for info on hypno birthing etc. Rushing out to buy birthing books as I'm on hols next week so will have time to read.

Euro I think you should be able to switch to private. I looked into a private birth at ChelWest and there you can sign up anytime. Some people actually do all the antenatal stuff on the Nhs and then in the last month switch to private. Not sure where you are but I think most Nhs hospitals have a private wing in London.

mini thanks for your kind words. That is reassuring. I'm sorry you had such a terrifying experience. Did you go into labour early or were you induced?

sea that's interesting. A friend of mine tried to get into private late on and was pretty much laughed at. I'm SE London based. One of the things that is making me waiver between my local NHS hospital and a private wing elsewhere (which my local hospital doesn't have) is that if the baby is kept in for a while and I have a section, getting across London to see the baby would be tough.

Went into labour early - no apparent reason. So, a big shock but on the other hand I avoided the worry that you're having.

I ended up in a hospital 45 minutes away from home (as my local hospital had no room in SCBU), and DD stayed there for over 3 weeks - it was a real pain for me and DH and I would definitely pick the hospital closest to you if you can. Also pick the one with the best NICU/SCBU (which generally means the bigger hospitals).

I don't know how private would work if you are having a prem - you would need to be in the NHS labour ward I would think as they have all the kit for small/poorly babies? And you'd have a paediatric doctor on hand too probably. But maybe you could have a private surgeon combined with those NHS aspects - dunno.

Anyway, I will take myself off now! Best wishes to all of you and hope things go as smoothly as possible.

That must have been a huge shock!

Apparently you can have a private birth but the baby can go into an NHS NICU/SCBU. I've checked that out already. Most of the private places in London that offer maternity services are in big NHS hospitals (except for the Portland). Tommies is the nearest to us. One of my friends is a paediatrician in London so I have good advice on NICU/SCBU facilities here!

The real problem is logistics. Getting to anything other than our local hospital (including Tommies) would involve public transport or a minimum £50 round trip in a cab. London hospitals are not really set up for driving to. And I'm not sure I fancy "commuting" with a c-section wound (if that is what I end up with). And also, mr euro is currently frantically learning to drive having put it off for years with me nagging him to get on with it so if I have a section we can't use the car for a few weeks anyway.