I feel blue today. Ridiculously so, actually.
I’ve managed to convince myself that something is wrong and I’m going to end up having a missed m/c 
Made the decision last night not to have an early scan as we both agreed the worst thing would be to see a heartbeat now, but not at the 12 week scan. I’m wondering if that’s why I’m now feeling blue?
No reason to think there is anything wrong, except I’m still getting cramps although they’re not as bad as they were at 4 weeks. I haven’t had any bleeding at all. No full on m/s yet but almost constant nausea. Constipation, bloating, sore boobs, exhaustion all still present and correct.
I think part of it is the fact I have to tell a friend on Saturday and I’m scared. I don’t want to tell her but I’d completely forgotten we’re all going to another friends house for drinks and I can’t miss it (the other friend has just been diagnosed with an inoperable heart condition). I need to tell her because she’s going to guess if I don’t drink. If she knows, she can at least play along with me not drinking. I need to ask her not to tell her partner though because he’s a bigmouth and I can just see 100s of people knowing within days. Also, I run the risk of ruining our friendship if I don’t tell her (she won’t understand why I’m not telling her)
It’s just all very scary. I got really stressed out this morning and now the cramps are sharper.