July 2014 - Thread 5: Blooming!

[lemonpoppyseed]

Thread 5 already! Sorry about the un-witty title. Am awake because baby is having a party in my belly...

Auntie and Ipsum - I'm 31 but I've got some close friends (and the parents in law too!) who think that's ancient to have a first child and that I've put my career first, there were some comments when we said we were having a baby that they thought we never would.

For me, it does feel like the more you've done in your life, the more there is to give up. It's crazy to think that little baby will have to be with us all of time, 24/7. That said, we are so massively excited about becoming parents and feel that we've been very lucky to get good jobs we enjoy and have travelled the world first as well.

I think so many 'friends' say things out of jealousy.

Oh wow, just wow at how people.love to comment on how old/what life stage you choose to have children. I think it happens whenever you decide, many people have told me that I'm 'sooo young' to be having a child at 25. I think people just like to comment no matter what your situation. I try to just laugh about it because it's not like I'm at school or something....that really would be so young!!

On another note...anyone else now wearing breast pads daily? Definitely my least favourite part of pregnancy so far!

Ah you lot make me feel much better about not being all "tra-la-la, cute babies, can't wait" about this whole thing

Ipsum I like what you said about not wanting a baby so much as wanting a family. I think that describes how I feel pretty well.

so true about the babies thing. I've never been that comfortable around babies and being pregnant hasn't changed that. But it's as if people think you're instantly qualified to cope better with a baby!

I'll have a learning curve with my own - but I'll learn when my baby is here!

I'm 30 MrsA2 and have had a lot of similar comments about leaving it late - which is ridiculous when you think about it! The friend in question is a few years younger than me and I'd be off in a shot if I thought she was being mean for the sake of being mean. Its quite out of character for her which is why I think its the broodiness getting to her. Her family are very like that with the comments as they all had babies quite young and none of them were bothered about having a career etc so they maybe don't get where I am coming from.

I would never judge anyone else's choices but the simple fact is DH and I were not ready financially or emotionally for a baby and we didn't want to give up travelling, my education and the chance for either of us to work our way up the career ladder a bit before now. If other people are ready then its fine and more than understandable - we just weren't and I do get tired being judged for that a bit

Glad to see I'm not the only non-gooey one though - makes me feel better!

ellen I have only ever been able to shop in the ruler back giant bra section of m and s! I actually miss my supportive bras now that I am pretty much in genie bra type crop tops most of the time as the other are all just too uncomfortable now

I don't know if you're aware of or interested in the Let Toys Be Toys campaign, but if you are, this blog post about the dangers of pink might be of interest: bletheringboys.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/bursting-pink-bubble-why-pink-is.html

MrsA

great news that you are moving so soon!

our survey (for buyers) is being done next Thursday (last in chain as we weren't asked until last Friday and this week wasn't good).
we have given 8 different dates that suit us in May - the moving company just emailed us that they're no longer available on 2nd, 7th or 8th!
our sellers are away from 10th -19th, so earliest will be 20th, but not confirmed.

just signed contract without dates,so not exchanged yet - should happen end of April.

can't wait.

That's great news zing def in and settled before baby anyway I remember the stress of house moving all too well

As for age my friend was 'young' last year when she had it at 25, no comments with her 2nd I've escaped any comments is 27 the perfect age?!!! Rediculous really!

ismarah I love let toys be toys and pink stinks. They have very good campaign, particulalry one on genderised books at the moment. I often write ranty letters to places like Kinder eggs and Disney.

I havent checked in much recently as have been away visiting my cousins new baby - very cute. I like the early baby stage when they are cute and cuddly, then I am not really interested from the teething stage until I can take them to a museum and have a conversation. Am going to be the world's worst mum! I also am planning on going back to work as soon as I can, I need to keep my career going, plus it is my hobby as well. Perhaps this is to do with my age (41) but a lot of it is to do with hating kids films/tv and activities. Fortunatly DH loves all that.

On another note, apart from my back expanding and in the first trimester my nipples looking a bit weird nothing has happened to my breasts. DH very disappointed they have not got bigger. Am living in crop top type bras as I don't want to buy proper bras in case they do suddenly expand.

liquid Have had plenty of friends who haven't noticed any real boob change till post natal then they have gone ginormous so there is still time for you and your dh to marvel

I will tell DH that, in the meantime he can continue to rub bio oil onto my belly and legs

ickle and patchwork - I'm 24 and have had one or two comments but not many. Saying that, I did get married at 20 so maybe most people got their comments out of their system then!

Oh dear liquid my boobs are huge and nipples are very dark and scary- try not to look at them too much!

My sister is very anti pink and so no matter what we have know it won't fit blue/pink stereotypes if she buys us a present (for the rest of babies life!)

Did anyone else see this bbc article on the effect of a baby's name on their future... m.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26634477 no pressure ladies!

Love that article ickle. There is something similar discussed in freakonomics if anyone has read it, although focuses very much on trends in USA more than UK it certainly makes you think about what you're saddling your child with and the implications for their future!

I saw that names thing too and even sent it to DH. Names is actually one of the things we're struggling with as we disagree on how her names should work. I want 2-3 given names, one English, one Irish and one from my native language. He wants a name that just works in all three languages, which is all very well to be fair, but he won't suggest any.

We bought our biggest ticket item yesterday - a pushchair FINALLY! Felt like doing a victory dance when that got ticked off the list

Oh my. Just been looking up perineal massage and how to do it. The phrase 'insert thumbs' was used. A lot.

I shall. I shall insert them into my ears!

Apparently the MN site has been hacked into - someone advised me on another thread that it's a good move to change our passwords, so I thought I'd pass that on.

oh ismarah I know right...it sounds terrifying...but I suppose less terrifying than a tear?
Excuse me if TMI but I struggle to even reach properly round the bump to do a urine sample these days, so goodness knows how I'll cope with this!
I read the info in my mat book once and have now put my head in the sand about it until absolutely necessary!

ismarah what pushchair did you go for? My friend did perineal massage- got her dh to and didn't tear. I'm not sure if I can face it...

We went for the Baby Jogger City Elite, which I'd settled on early after some research and then sanity-checked a gazillion times...We're outside London, don't use public transport much and walk the dog every day on forest paths...It is probably a bit big / heavy but I'm hoping it'll be durable too. I Found it online from an indy for £330 so am very excited - it feels like I'm finally doing baby things. We'll probably need to train the dog to accept it so buying it now made sense.

I still want a C section but am yet to persuade the consultant. I've gone over it again and again and apart from my mother's disapproval, I think it's the right choice for us. I'm now almost hoping bean will stay breach so that it won't be an issue. If I can't persuade the consultant I'd go for a water birth and so I'm slightly hedging my bets in thinking perineal massage might help, just in case.

I think I can still reach though...as long as I use fingers rather than thumbs...although am not quite sure just how I'd position myself. I suspect humorously.

ismarah I'm worried about tearing again 2nd time (I healed fine but would rather not if I can avoid it!) and my midwife recommended the epi-no. I think it's hard to get here in the US although I'm hoping she knows a source otherwise I'll get my mum to send me one.

Just been catching up reading from the past few days.... If your boobs haven't got bigger yet just wait until your milk comes in. OMG. I nearly died from shock when I caught sight of them last time round in a mirror. They were huge and hideous.

Have had a wobbly day at this end. DH has now got a trainer for the IM in September and looking at the training schedule I had a major sense of humour failure not helped by not having had a decent nights sleep for 5.5 months. Hormones and exhaustion have left me feeling that him doing an IM at that time of year just isn't possible with work (& a 3 hour round trip commute) and a newborn having to come into the equation. Need to man up but being exhausted is making that very hard. It's all just rubbish timing. He also doesn't remember how exhausting those first few months are but then he is one of those incredibly lucky deep sleepers who even if they do wake up they pass out again when their head touches the pillow. Please let the baby take after him and not me with sleep. Sorry for a moan. I am far better when actually having to deal with a problem rather than being made to think about one.

Oh no that sounds pretty horrific incapinka I don't have any suggestions other than having a sit down chat about how it makes you feel/why your worried!

I had a cry and sulk on sat as went to meet a friend and dh hadn't put shelves up as wanted me to be there- I had deliberately asked if he'd do them when I wasn't there because we aren't great at diy together- he makes mistakes I get snappy. ..anyway he put them up but they are the floating kind (no brackets) and because he didn't put the support in straight they tilt rather than being flat! Anyway got over it now but was not a great Saturday night!!!

Sunday was much nicer we've now finished the guest bedroom and so hopefully today I can get our nursery back of all the rubbish that lives in guest bedroom normally. Then the weeding starts! We have a lovely garden but so many weeds at the moment!!!

Hope everyone else is welk- also are itchy boobs normal?

Morning ladies ikwym with regard to DIY icklekid but DH and I braved it and put together my 3 sweater swing for the garden :) I have the week off this week with DD and the weather looks promising fx.

I too have itchy boobs (normally at quite embarrassing moments ) but have found the Cussons mum and me range great especially the bath and shower products (plus Boots have them in their 3for2 offer)

I wouldn't blame hormones and exhaustion incapinka - a perfectly objective assessment would say that is completely crazy to be IM training with a newborn! I do feel your frustration. Is he liable to get like my DH and be really unwilling to compromise on training, or does he recognise that things may have to give?