June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

[hackneybird]

Ding dong!

Liquid, I imagine how hard it must be. This is not meant to make you feel better but my mum will not see me pregnant. At all. I suggested that she might want to come over after the baby is born and so she MIGHT come in July but there was no talk about seeing me before that as my mum would rather go somewhere hot for holiday and that's not UK alas...

Yet somehow it doesn't REALLY bother me. I'm used to being away from my family.

Liquid that does sound hard, I know its not the same but what about Skype?

thanks Sleep and Sareva. I should be used by now...It was the same with DS. Back than it was even harder because my mum had cancer and I could not travel to be with her. I am an only child and very close to my mum. We speak everyday on the phone + Skype. DH thinks it is a bit too much... perhaps he is right

Sleep sorry but your comment about your mum wanting to go to somewhere hotter than the UK made me giggle. I am lucky my mum prefers the cold.

I am sure I will be better tomorrow.

After all the indulgence during Christmas I am determined to have a healthier diet. I am googling healthy recipes.As anyone tried Chia seeds? They seem to be a good addition to my diet.

bumble I empathise with you, I really do. My birth with DS ended up with an emc which wasn't what I wanted! This time I have to go to a vbac clinic but I'm asking if I can have an elective c-section.

It's so true that the 'difficult' births get much more attention than the straightforward ones. Most of my friends had lovely water births or home births even and I'm really envious!

Bumble, sorry to hear you had a traumatic time of it. I did too and it came tumbling out a few months after ds was born- I had a meeting with head midwife which didn't really help and I think she was suspicious of my reasons for wanting the meeting and was very guarded as thought I was going to sue them or something!! I wasn't btw, just needed some answers to why it had gone so badly wrong and what the likelihood of it happening again. I think I have moved on although when I watch programmes like one born, I real resentment when the babies are born and handed straight to mum for cuddle and feel a bit robbed so like you, since getting pregnant again, some of these fears have resurfaced but think that is completely natural. I really hope the therapy works for you.

Ref maternity leave, think will start at 37 weeks and have ten months off like I did with ds tagging annual leave to the end. Ten months was plenty for me and was ready to use my brain again and see colleagues etc and going back part time was a nice balance for me.

Been swimming....very slow and unfit but back in exercise zone now!

liquid I'm on the phone to my mom daily at the moment, sometimes even 2-3 times - she's just had an op before Christmas and is in a wheelchair and really bored and frustrated at being so helpless and I feel the same way. I hope you feel better soon, it's always hard straight after a holiday back home.

Sorry, I'm going to respond to posts from a while back...

vicky, nasal spray is fine! Much better than tablets as very little is actually absorbed into your blood.

summerbaby, I weighed myself yesterday and was surprised and super excited to see I'd only put on 0.4kg! Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear

riblet and sleepy, my H has put on 4 kg in a month!! I bought him a spin bike for Christmas, though, haha.

eliza, I have a nil hour contract, so I have to give my availability monthly, so I'm in a different type of situation! but I plan not to work for the month before e due date...

liquid, it was tough for me to leave family, too! We had to talk plans for when I get to see people next and my mom is going to come in June, but otherwise I probably won't see any of them for 2 years . It's expensive going back and forth to North America..

Phew! You lot have been busy today!

Yay, I actually made it to the gym! Xtrainer at about half the usual speed but it was really good and felt quite energised afterwards.

I may even feel my pregnancy glow coming on

I didn't go to the gym (I hate the places!) but I did do some wii exercise! About all I can cope with as I'm still so tired but at least it's active.

Going to buy a Stokke Tripp Trapp chair tomorrow - local baby shop has an offer on the newborn attachment and we'll need to keep the baby off the floor away from the dog!!

Mega impressive summer!

It is hard not having family around. I have spent 12 years away and my parents have just moved here. Takes a bit of getting used to though!

Mitchell I am in the same boat as you being the main earner. Been told by a friend recently if I don't take the full ml my partner can which would be a good option for us financially all being well he could have the time off and then have a job to go back to as he has many years service there and he is happy to do that which is good for us. Does anyone know the ml sharing rules?

Thanks liquid I may take you up on that!

Mitchell I am bread winner here my husband has been a SAHD since I went back to work but returns to teaching next week (he's v nervous). I'm sure you've prob considered it but just in case - did you know the law has changed & if you are not taking your full 9 month paid entitlement your husband can have what you don't use? So even if it's not for him perhaps it would work for you to have him do a month or two while you get back in to the swing. He'd get the £500odd a month that you would have got. If you already knew all that sorry but thought I'd say just in case :)

Oops dipsey cross post. The rules are that you have to have qualified for statutory maternity pay (ie not maternity allowance) & then he needs to fulfil the same criteria you did (length of time for current employer not be self employed etc etc). You cannot give away more than 6 months of 9 but he can start at any time (ie theoretically you could go 1 after other, overlap, or have 4.5 months off at same time). Hope that helps!

I think that you have to be back at work for him to be allowed to take it. You're not allowed to be off at the same time

Happy new year all you lovely mums net x and thank you for a welcome on this June bus.

To bumblebee, my sincere empathy and hope you continue to receive the treatment and care.
Going to work tomorrow since the 20th dec, I am not sure how possible this will be! Like most of you have been awake without fail at 4am then going back to bed at 7am.

Re-maternity, I am thinking I will be a soldier and work until 36 weeks. Unfortunately I don't get annual leave, work term time only.

Anyway must try and go to bed.

Bumble - I know I'm late to board ( tried to post earlier but iPhone only posts about 90% of the time ) but just wanted to echo others experience of CBT - I had it after my DS was born and was so helpful. You seem lovely and I bet you look after everyone so hope you look after yourself as well.

In terms of mat leave - I want to go four weeks before due date as DS came early but how long I take depends on DP - he is working PT but is looking for a FT job at the moment. If he gets one then want to take a year off but if not will have to go back after 6 months as we can't live on his wage alone. Last time I was ready to go back after 6 months but feel different this time around.

Thanks Redcliff
Bezza they were slightly guarded with me particularly about a part of birth that was illegal but they asked outright whether action was also something I wanted to peruse & said absolutely not & I could see them relax. Apparently a third of NHS midwifery spend is litigation insurance so I guess I understand their fear!!
To those who've said - yes apparently it is CBT so I have v little idea what that is but hopefully I will find it as beneficial as you all have. It will prob be a few weeks before I get my 1st appointment but then I will have several over 3 months (!) Fingers crossed it will help because reliving the birth waking up crying several times a night is bloomin exhausting!!

TMI alert - sorry!

Has anyone had thrush whilst pregnant - I've been trying some rosemary water but its just not cutting the mustard. I just have the itching symptoms so thinking vagisil but not sure if I can use it?

Thanks girlies x

Bee thanks for the advice re the steam, bowl, towel treatment for blocked noses, I will definitely be trying that as soon as I am home.

wispa thanks for the reassurance also.

bumble sorry to hear that your first birth was a traumatic experience and that you're struggling with the fear of a similar situation this time. I am pleased you have been offered therapy and hope it works for you, I know what you mean about the drawing pics/ role play etc but perhaps talking it through with a therapist will be just what you need.

Re maternity leave, I have no idea. I guess somewhere around 35 weeks but I will take annual leave for a few weeks before starting mat leave. But I don't know how my tube commute will go, how 3rd trimester will go etc so will have to play by ear a bit, it's my first too so not sure what to expect.

If I am this tired at the end though I may give up sooner! I am about to attempt to go swimming (wish me luck)...but having been awake for an hour I really feel like going back to sleep already!

Re weight gain, I have a definite belly/bump now ( I cannot do up my ski trousers or jeans) but pretty sure a lot of it is Christmas dinner and mountain food, not baby. Have MW appt on Thurs and am a bit scared of the scales .

Morning ladies,

just received my new doppler, one happy bunny) after yesterday bday celebrations feel very "hangover" even though i didnt drink, i knew that J2O is not a good idea(

Thanks everyone for the support.

Had my appointment this morning and all is well. MW is really nice snd we were able to hear the heartbeat

Had my 16/17 weeks check up today. Quick and uneventful! Heard the heartbeat which made me very smiley. MW not bothered about weight loss (normal) or the fact I'm still really sick (will pass soon) and just said all fine, off you go! Didn't even weigh me. Oh well, I'd prefer that to problems!

Glad to hear that, liquid!

I haven't been put on the scales since my booking appt. at 8 weeks.

I woke up with a raging headache this morning and everything I've tried to get rid of it (sugar coffee, eating something decent) has just made it worse and also made me feel pukey. Sigh. I might have to reach for the Paracetamol, much as I'm loathe to.

I know I shouldn't be on the 'puter...

Thanks for all the feedback re mat leave - really helpful (as always!)

Has everyone else notified their work of their intentions re mat leave yet, or is it too early?
I suppose the EDD might change slightly again after 20 week scan?

mylittlel how are you getting on with your Doppler? Is it easy to find heartbeat?

I am going to wait for a while to tell work - maybe in Feb?

Feeling bluh today so left work at 2 - half cold half pregnant stuff (was sick after dinner last night) - do you think it's ok to list it as pregnancy related illness ?