June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

[hackneybird]

Ding dong!

Sorry that was a bit of a post & run (actualey post & snore).

Yup Redcliff I work in a smallish engineering company - only woman in a technical role as well so have been a little warey of telling work as its going to have a huge impact on what I want to do post ML in times of site projects /office work. Fortunatley my boss and the MD both seem to be OK with it & have been pushing me away form the Project bit of my job title and more to the Management bit over the past few months anyway.

Glad to here about the bag Sareva

Belly gazing I am quite anti home births (close friends have had them & I wouldn't in million years look down on someone for choosing them. My Mum is a Pathologist so obviously seeing that risk factor 1st hand makes her v biased & through her me also. I know a large number of Doctors socially & have yet to meet 1 who thinks they are a good idea (although professionally they aren't allowed to be biased). Midwifes believe all Doctors are biased but every Doctor I know would do anything to keep patients away from targets & resources (just take A&E) so it would seem a very odd bias for them to have. There are also issues with how the risk is assessed (a baby suffering a difficult labour at home that dies in ambulance or hospital is a hospital fatality not a home birth) but I think research starting to address that.

You'll need to decide up front you're going to be happy without an epidural (you might be happy with that). Also your decision should take in to account how fast the journey time is to your local hospital - I am literally down the road so if I was considering it that would factor.

Unfortunately homebirths are only as safe as hospital births for women who have had natural births previously. You need to just weigh it all up (there are obviously massive benefits to home births also) and go with what feels right to you. Every decision you make for a baby Breastfeeding when to introduce solids whether to sleep train etc etc will be wrong to some people so do what feels right for you. Oh and all the friends I have who have had homebirths couldn't speak more highly of them.

Oh dear terrible nights sleep in my house. We are all hit with some awful bug meaning dh was snoring and snoring. I ended up sleeping downstairs in the living room and could bloody hear him snoring down there. I can see why January is the biggest month for separations ha all these illnesses must play a factor.
Dd woke with sore throat but have sent her to school to see how she goes. In a dilemma as mil going to pick ds up from nursery and take him 40 miles to hers for the day and they get the train through. He's so so excited and I really could do with the break...but... He just doesn't look well! He's eating and drinking though, nursery is just 2.5 hours and I've given him paracetamol.

I've also worried about the impact a little one will have on ds as he is always up and down and will shout just want to tell you something, you go up and he says "your my best friend, now tell bla, bla, bla in that order. My sis in law has 4 that are 5 and under and has managed to get them all roughly to go to bed at 7pm.

Pregnancy yoga sounds bliss , and the good nights sleep sounds amazing. Think will need to investigate this.

We'll come no crying

Hi belly my friend just had a home VBAC (two days ago). She tried a home birth the first time and had to go for an emcs in the end.

I admire her as she was hell bent on that option but I'm not sure id have the guts. From what I could tell it was military planned (as much as these things can be). She had a doula, met ALL the midwives who potentially could have been involved to ensure that they knew the score and were comfortable and had the skill to be able to supporting this. I think she also had consultant led care for part of her pregnancy and made sure her consult was on board and no stone was left unturned so to speak re preparation. She also researched as much as she could re what could go wrong so she was mentally prepared should she have to go into hospital in the end anyway (which is about 5-10 mins transfer so not far at all). She really wanted it but knew she had to be realistic that it may not work out how she wanted.

It all went perfect, mum and baby are both absolutely fine and I'm really happy that she got what she wanted.

If I possibly can I will be having a home birth. Obviously it isn't my first, but I wish I had stuck to my guns and had the first at home too but dh was having none of it. I only agreed to having another if it was at home. My DM would have a fit if she knew but I don't plan on telling her until it is definite and then telling her that if she says anything negative I don't want her around until after the birth. She would much rather I had an ELCS like all her friends' daughters do. The joy of private medical insurance.

I think doctors would always prefer hospital births because they rarely get involved in a nice simple natural birth. I live a 10 minute walk from my maternity hospital and so I could probably be in theatre as fast as if I was in the birthing centre so that part doesn't worry me. Plenty of time for other factors like a breech baby etc to change though!

jaykay the fitness class was very sedate compared to anything I have done before but I do feel very stiff today. Actually quite welcome as I have been feeling like a whale recently. It didn't help sleep much though as I woke up at 4:30 desperate for the loo with awful cramps and then couldn't go back to sleep. Perhaps I should have done yoga instead

S - amazing news about your bag ! Really pleased.

Hackney - I feel your pain . My son was awake at 9.30 doing a sticker book in bed last night and will call me up for the slightest thing (a squeaky taxi out side our house the other night WTF£

Welcome to the new joiners, and glad to hear about your bag Sareva.

Marlena and Vicky - as a fellow defeated meowmy all I can say is this

Good to hear more about holiday/ML policies, as makes me more hopeful that ours will be better than currently appears. Got meeting with boss tomorrow so will see if he knows (probably won't!)

Got my first antenatal exercise and lifestyle class this morning, which should be fun (except that I'll need to pee 3 times during the 20 min walk there). I think it'll be about diet as well, but I have to say, since starting eating healthily again this week I do feel better. I've probably said before I lost a lot of weight before I got pg with Slimming World so am very loosely following that. Would be nice if the only gains from now on were baby related, and don't want to keep buying more clothes.

That reminds me, if anyone is looking for some cheap maternity dresses, Asda have a sale on at the moment so I ordered some stuff with a view to taking most back. Ordered online and picked it up from local store last night, and am going to end up keeping most of it! Need a dress for a wedding next month and they had some for £6 and £8 (not all sizes though) so ordered 3 but even the fitted ones that I thought would look awful on my lumpy hips and thighs look ok so am keeping them - best thing is that they make me look pregnant rather than fat . Also got a pair of the mat jeans which create a nice bump as well as the stretchy bit is pretty long and pretty much goes right up to your bra. Anyway, am glad to have sorted out a dress for the wedding (turquoise skater dress if anyone's interested) for £8, which is less than those I was looking at on ebay.

Anyway, I always mean to write a quick post then drone on for ages, so will go now and try and not drink too much before my walk. Have a good day all!

The thought of a home birth does not appeal to me at all. In extreme pain and my little boy asking a million questions, no thank you. Then all the mess that I'd probably be left to clean up. Think the after bit of sitting up in your own bed with gorgeous little newborn would be lovely but not the actual birth.

My maternity hospital has recently added a new MLU which looks lovely and I'm hoping to make it there on thine and try for a water birth. Ds arrived 20 mins after arriving at hospital though so may not be an option. Although I've been told seconds have a knack of coming really quickly but not thirds.

Clutter - poor you sleeping on the sofa. My DP is a mega snorer and can be heard from downstairs but will wake up at the slightest noise - how he doesn't wake him self up I don't know.

Hope you enjoy your class Riblet and bladder not too bad on the walk!
Good shout about asda, I desperately need some maternity clothes but not got loads of money so will check that out today

I think that too redcliff, how can he not hear how loud he is!!

My house felt like the story "peace at last" because my going downstairs woke our cats up and they thought it was a big game me being downstairs and then they were in and out the cat flap, had to take battery out of laptop due to faint noise it was making. Was a nightmare!

Mitchell that's a nice story

V good point above re Doctors seeing only when it goes wrong. My Mum slept all 4 of us on our front (that was done thing) & was a Dr at time. When they changed advice to sleeping on back her cot death post-mortems (just hers) dropped from 2/3 a month to 2/3 a year (!!) So when I had absolute agony getting James to sleep on his back & would occasionally let him sleep on front - she was beside herself. In reality the overall risks are still tiny (as with additional home birth risks) but they see a very different side to life. For me, us both having a few hours sleep occasionally outweighed that tiny risk - but it all depends on how you feel about it.

Clutter - your sis has 4 under 5s all in bed by 7?! Perhaps I could book her services for a month or two?! :)

Ha ha riblet that link made me laugh :)

sareva so pleased they found your bag!! See, there are some good folk in this world.

jay thanks for the update on the yoga class, I am going to look into attending the one in my area. Might leave it a few weeks though as now worried I won't be pregnant enough!

Good luck to those with appointments today.

Clutter, i just bought some work trousers from Jojo. £10, pretty and the most comfortable thing I ever wore!!

Bumble she is a very, chilled, relaxed sahm and has always just attempted to put them all to bed at that time and slowly, slowly they all fall into place with it. The 4 & 5 year old have bunks and the 2 year old is in a cot all in the same room. The baby has her own room for the moment. Sure it's not always a smooth operation but she does always attempt to get then all bathed, Jammie's on and story done for 7. We had 3 of them staying with us a few months and they definitely we're not all sleeping for 7pm, lots of giggling and carrying on from my little boy and his cousins.
Thanks Sleepy, will check there too

That's a few months ago, they didn't stay with us for a few months!

Riblet you are a hero with your Asda maternity advice! Thank you!

bellygazing - re home VBAC did they talk to you about having intermittent monitoring? I wanted a homebirth with DS (had EMCS in the end) and there is no way I will agree to continual monitoring and if that is the case then I will go for ELCS.

My waters went in early labour with DS and as there was meconium in so I was straight into hospital and hooked up to the monitor for the next 36 hours. Constant monitoring meant being unable to get off the bed and move around as the cord wasn't long enough and really there is only so far I think you can cope by lying on the bed and breathing. Hence, not suprisingly I ended up with an epidural and then EMCS. Anyone who manages to birth a baby without an epidural whilst being hooked up to a bed has my utmost respect!!

Our hospital stay wasn't brilliant and I struggled enormously with DS in the early days, it took us a long time to bond and I feel like at least part of that is down to the hospital stay. Because I picked up an infection from the epidural they kept us in hospital for 3 days after he was born to give DS antibiotics as well and they were the most awful days. I hadn't slept for several days, was unwell, and because of CS it was really really difficult getting in and out of bed to pick DS up and comfort him. On our first night on the ward he cried all night and I was trying to comfort him but didn't really know what to do and was hobbling round with him and crying, and with hindsight, I really can't believe none of the MW's stopped sitting at their desk chatting and came to help us as this went on until he finally fell asleep at about 6.00am. We must have kept the whole ward awake all night.

I hope this isn't an inappropriate place to post this - it's not a horror story or anything and the CS itself was fine, and we had truly excellent care for the MW's in the high risk unit. Sometimes it helps to hear other peoples experiences. It never occured to me to ask one of the MW's to help me and I really really wish I had because I was not coping at all well. And I can remember thinking several times over the next week or so that we had made a horrendous mistake by having a baby and despairing that we had made such a fuck up and we couldn't go back. Obviously that passed and there really aren't words to describe what a joy it is having DS :)

Anyway, I would dearly love a home VBAC but I am put off by the fact that it isn't supported in my area so I would really have to push for it and I am not sure that I could handle to risks involved. But for reasons above I am keen to avoid things turning out how they did before.

bellygazing my MW told me that intermittent monitoring (every 15 mins) would be an option as outcomes were just as good with intermittent monitoring as continuous monitoring. You wouldn't be able to use the pool, but it does mean you could use the bath and walk about?

Gosh sorry this is soooooo long!!!
Well done if you've read the lot!

Hahahaha riblet that link is hilarious!

Nosey I agree about being hooked up I was so desperate to get up it was unreal. Your experience & your reaction to it (bonding affected by birth etc) is some of the side effects that were listed for psychological trauma when I was assessed. Apparently around a quarter of women will suffer trauma of varying degrees & lengths of time with then only 7% being extreme enough (or being detected) to need therapy like myself. Do you feel you've come to terms with it all etc - is it concerning you a lot re this birth? It might be worth talking it over with mw? And I completely agree re asserting your needs - some women seemed really pushy to me for constantly asking for help or advice etc whereas I suffered in silence. Next time that will definitely be me!

They do a lot of arse covering in that regards, don't they? I can't go to MLU because I'm fat and when I pointed out that I did want to try and be as active in labour as possible I immediately got the 'oh, but we might need continuous monitoring and if we can't get baby's heartbeat properly because of your weight we'll have to monitor internally' bollocks.

It's a good thing I'm quite open about how labour goes and have read up a lot, a lot of women would be terrified by that answer!

17+1 and just had my 16 week midwife appointment. Heard the heart beat which was lovely and reassuring as have had some problems recently.

Midwife was absolutely clueless though, I swear I don't even need to go in to see her - just need to get some of those strips for pee and I could do what she does! The latest pearl of wisdom that she doled out today was that when I am 20 weeks I'll officially be in my 2nd trimester?!

its really surprising that some "specialists" are far of from being professional or even experienced..

Being a giving birth virgin, so to speak, I know nothing about this but it did say in the Expecting Better book about continuous monitoring and how obstructive it is to moving around. She said that as Nosey says, the evidence showed that intermittent monitoring is no less risky than continuous, so I know what I'll be asking for if I'm in that position.

Glad app went well Mitchell, not sure about MW though!