due in november - part 4.........

[saralou100]

we are here!!

Imagine it would help and not add insult to injury if I got your name right Debbsy - [bluh] sorry hun

what does dh have to say then... it's very hard for them to understand it... my dp went into complete denial when ds was born, he didn't understand why i needed him around so much, and didn't even bother trying to help me, sat on the computer and went to the pub alot.. what i've learned is that talking rather than shouting and crying got the best result!!

thanks podgelet xx yes she has done this before there was time where we didnt speak for a couple of mths that was when it was a wedding anniversary and his mother wanted him to race!!!
Saralou dont think we will be talking to night as i feel worn out from it all today.xx

the key thing is not to fall out with DH, or to make it up. MIL's can be evil - but make it that you are a team, you and hubby. start now and sod her, let him do some but don't make it you v her or worse you v them. that is critical

good luck. i sympathise.

go chill out for a bit then!! have a nice girly evening and pamper yourself better!

to late its turned into a slanging match where ive been blamed as usual me and dh not speaking at all now off to bed p*ed off

Oh Debbsy - I feel for you, hormones don't help either. My dh is fishing mad and before we had ds he was fishing every spare moment (to the point that he was fishing a lake where he had no reception on his phone a week before my due date and thought it was okay to leave me a main number of the fishing authority, who I could call if I went into labour and they would then send somebody to the lake to get him )- even when I moaned to MIL about it, she used to say, well fishing is his first love you will have to get used to it BUT in his defence as soon as ds was born he didn't want to go - and still to this day 21 months later is not as obsessed as he was before
I think that it is harded for men to grasp the reality of a baby until it gets here (and even then it can take a while) but I am sure when you have both calmed down and your bibby is here dh will do the right thing. He might even tell his mum where to get off.

Hi Debbsy, hope things have calmed down a little this morning. It's a difficult one. I would tackle your DH first and explain to him that you are sorry for your outburst but you are feeling vunerable and protevctive of bibbsy at the momment and cannot understand how people expect you both to make decisions about the unknown. Reassure him that you will suppot his desision next year but that it has to be his decision not his mums. It is great that his mum is supportive and so proud of his achivements but she needs to let go and let him make these decisions for himself. It also has to be him to tell her to back off if necessary as coming from anyone else (especially you) will seem like someone interfering in her son's life. I know that its unfair but you have to remember that she's his mum and will be protective and try to push him to his full potential and you are the other woman in his life she probably feels thretaned that he listens to you and does not rely on her any more (he's still her baby - never forget that!). You may find he will talk to his mum and all you will have to do is apologise for your hormonal outburst (play that up as much as possible!)

Have started a new thread girls - come on over